The Bar PXF
by ValerieLynn
Summary: The Pony Express is ending. What will become of our riders? What will become of their family? Families are built and torn apart. Will there be a happily ever after? This is an A/U tale. WARNING: Explicit Content and Subject Matter.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Former Pony Express Way Station

Rock Creek, Nebraska

August 1863

It was before dawn. The stillness in the air brought about pain. Pain of knowing that this was what he had to do; leaving was for the best. The decision to leave was not made hastily. He had weighed his options and had no other choice. Stay and possibly ruin everything including the lives of all of those he held dear. Leave and be miserable with himself, however everything and everyone would be fine. He always thought that he could stay and accept things the way they were. Just being close was enough. He knew better now.

He had always loved her. First as a friend, then as a sister. At least that's what he thought. Over the last year, they had become much closer than ever. Even much more playful with each other. However, the last four months had shown him that his feelings of love were different than originally thought. He now knew that he was _in_ love with her. He wanted to make her his own and live a long happy life hand in hand with her. But that was not possible. Not with the wife of a man who was considered a brother, best friend, and business partner.

Buck walked into the barn quickly and quietly. He moved with precision and swiftness. He saddled his stallion, Warrior. He secured his saddlebags and double checked the cinches. He took a slow deep breath and exhaled, a tear escaping down his cheek. Buck walked Warrior out of the barn and mounted. With a quick click, Warrior began to trot out of the yard and into the dark.

1


	2. The End is the Beginning

**Authors Note: Explicit content. Mature themes. For all you Kid fans, sorry! This is not going to end well for him. **

**The usual disclaimers that I don't own rights and yada yada. **

"From Ether's tragic I am born again

And now I'm with you now

Inside your world of wow" Smashing Pumpkins

Chapter One

. . . The End Is The Beginning

Rock Creek, Nebraska

October 1861

"Effective Immediately, The Rock Creek Station has been de-commissioned by the Pony Express. Russell, Majors, and Waddell will be in contact regarding the property including the horses in the coming weeks." Teaspoon said while refolding the letter he had received earlier that day. He looked around the table. The people that sat there were his family. A group of ragtag orphans that had come together and formed a bond thicker than any blood could ever be.

No one spoke. Everyone just sat in silence. They all knew the day would come when their adventure of a lifetime would end. They had hoped it would come later.

All of the riders sitting around the table had their own stories. The reasons they had become orphans. They all had their reasons for joining the Express. Now it seemed like the whole world was falling apart and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it.

William F. Cody was actually not an orphan; he just lived for adventure and the spotlight. That was why he joined the Express. Cody was a crack shot with his Hawkins Rifle and an expert trick rider. His other talents included flirting, womanizing, exaggerating, and falling in love every other day or so. Cody had already joined the Army and was serving as a scout for the Union. This of course caused problems with Buck. Buck felt that all the Army wanted was to push the Indians as far away as possible, or kill them all. By Cody becoming a scout he had volunteered himself to help with this mission. Cody insisted that the Indians were not why he joined and Buck knew that to be true. The matter was complicated.

Buck, or Running Buck, was half Kiowa and half white. His mother, Rising Sun, had been married to a War Chief of their tribe. They had one son, Red Bear, before the War Chief was killed in an attack by a renegade bunch of Arapaho. When Red Bear was 14, his mother was attacked when she went to bath in the creek. Running Buck was the product of that fateful day. Rising Sun loved her son and Red Bear was thrilled to have his little brother. Running Buck never quite fit in though. The others in the tribe felt he was too white to be Indian. The only things that kept him safe were: His mother, Red Bear, and the status of being the son of a War Chiefs widow. When Running Buck was 12, he went against the advice of his intended, a white child the village had raised as their own known as Little Bird. Little Bird begged Running Buck not to go on his first hunt but he went anyway to prove that he could be a warrior and provide for his soon to be wife. When the warriors and braves returned they found the village almost completely burned to the ground. Rising Sun was dead as well as most of the other women and children. Little Bird, or Camille in the white world, was also gone. The Army soldiers had taken her thinking she was a captive. With his mother dead and Red Bear about to be made War Chief, Running Buck fled the village to find his own way. He ended up at a Catholic mission school where he learned to speak English as well as to read and write. He also took the name Buck Cross. The mission school while not the happiest time in his life, become of the most important: he met his best friend and blood brother, Ike McSwain.

James Butler Hickock, Jimmy to his friends, had been born and raised in Kansas to an abolitionist father and housekeeping mother. He had 2 sisters and he remembered them fondly. He had left Kansas in his early teens when the pressure of being his father's son became too great. He agreed to help Rosemary Burke in the footsteps of his father. The abolitionist movement was a hot topic and an even hotter area of contempt. Jimmy's sister, Celinda, and her husband Nathan were a part of the Burke's group. After Isaiah Burke had been killed, Rosemary had her sights set on Jimmy. Even though everyone knew the real reason Rosemary asked Jimmy to help was to further her own cause and use the famous "Wild Bill" Hickock for his name. Jimmy hated that name. Ever since J.D. Marcus published a dime novel full of a fictitious tale of a gunslinger, Jimmy never had a moment's peace. The only truths were Jimmy did use a cross body draw and was faster than the human eye could comprehend. Oh, and his twin colts. Jimmy had been entranced by Rosemary from the beginning. Jimmy was just blinded by love. . . or the idea anyway.

Isaac Michael McSwain had suffered from Scarlett Fever at the age of 8. As a result he was bald. He suffered again when his father, mother, and little sister were murdered by a gang of bushwhackers. He found himself mute after that. Ike ended up in the Catholic mission school. All the children thought he was a freak and that he would curse them if he touched them. He didn't really care until one day he made a friend and ally who became so much more: Running Buck Cross. They had left the mission school together at 16 and worked their way around until they saw the sign the read "Orphans Preferred" advertising for the Pony Express. Ike and Buck had joined and quickly bonded with the family. Ike met Emily Metcalf and was smitten. Her father was a gambler with a bad habit. Emily's father called out a card sharp named Neville and had been killed when his gun jammed. A couple of days later, Emily went after Neville. Ike stepped in and took a bullet intended for Emily. When Neville raised his gun again to fire at Emily, Buck stepped in and dropped Neville where he stood. Ike recovered from his shoulder wound and he and Emily had been inseparable ever since. Ike spent most of his nights out at her place. It was no surprise that Ike asked Emily to marry him about 2 months ago. Their wedding date was about a month away. The plan was to work the farm that Emily and her father had bought. The land bordered the Express station, so Ike would still be close to his family.

Noah was a free black man who joined up with the Express about 8 months in. His father and mother had been freed but had died years ago. Noah had been raised since then by his Aunt Sally. He was an expert with his silver handled bull whip. Smash an apple like it exploded. Shortly after moving to Rock Creek, Noah met a young laundress named Cassie. Cassie was raising her younger brother. Noah got into some trouble and was accused of murdering an Army captain. However, it came out that the Army captain had raped and beat Cassie and Cassie had actually killed him during the attack. There were no charges filed after the Army saw what the captain had done to Cassie. Noah and Cassie were well on their way to the alter as well.

Kid and Lou had married only a month ago. The wedding was wonderful and finally revealed the closely guarded secret Kid had been keeping: his real name. Teaspoon had looked at Kid and told him it was time to fess up. Kid leaned in and whispered the name to Teaspoon. Teaspoon then made a face and proceeded with the marriage vows using the name Kid. Once they were pronounced man and wife however, all bets were off. Teaspoon introduced the couple as Mr. and Mrs. Axton Radcliff Kendrick V.

"Well, the story is not terrible Lou. I was named after my father's brother. He died young and never had children. So my brother was named after my father, Jedidiah Thormund Kendrick V. We just called him Jed." Kid moved his hand thru his brown hair. He remembered back to the days when the farm was plentiful. The family was happy. Then, the farm started to have problems. Too much rain and not enough harvest left the family in poverty. Kid remembered when his father started drinking what profit the farm did earn. Every night in the saloon. "So when I came along and wasn't a girl, my father gave me this name. Since I was the youngest, everyone just called me the Kid. So it stuck." Kid looked back at his wife of 48 hours. They were lying in bed, naked and tangled up in each other. The memories fell over him once more. "Soon after the drinking started, the beatings started. Then, one day, he just didn't come home. Ma couldn't keep a hold on Jed. He started sneaking off, would be gone days at a time. Ma fell ill and never recovered. She died after a few days." Kid stopped talking and closed his eyes. Tears slipped down from the far corners.

"How old were you? When your Ma died?" Lou asked. Her hand reached up and wiped the tears from her husband's eyes. She replaced her hand to his chest and waited for him to finish.

"I was 15. I found out after I buried my mother that Jed only came home to hide out from the law. He wasn't even there when she died. He showed up the day after her funeral. Sold the farm to pay the debts our father had built and for Ma's funeral. Then took off again. A couple of days later, the sheriff came looking for him. I told him the truth. I had no idea where he went. I left the same day headed west. I dropped the name to start over. A new beginning." Kid rolled over and pulled his wife closer to him.

He pulled her to his body and brushed his lips against hers. Louise ran her hands up thru his hair and sighed into a passionate kiss. Her tongue ran along his lips and he happily accepted its invitation. Kid ever so lightly run his hand down her side and as his hand reached her backside he gently pulled her closer still. In one motion he rolled and was on top of her all while trailing kisses down her neck. Louise guided his lips to her left breast where he sucked and lightly nibbled her nipple in his mouth. Holding the nipple in his teeth while he slowly blew air on the wet area he had suckled. Lou hissed in pleasure; His hand on her right breast squeezing and pressing into circular motions. Louise spread her legs wider as the pleasure increased. She could feel him getting harder; she knew exactly what that hardness could do to her. Kid never slowed his feasting of her breasts; he just took them in turn. While moving back to the left breast with his mouth, Kid quickly thrust his hips and shoved his stiffness inside her. Reaching his arms underneath her, he grabbed her shoulders and used them as leverage to continue his now rapid thrusting. Louise was matching with a hunger of her own. She wrapped her legs around his waist and felt that familiar pleasuring burn that began to swell. Kid could feel the tightening that began to make his head swim. Her moaning gave way to her calling his name with each thrust until she finally saw stars and felt an extreme rush all over her body. A rush of heat, pleasure, burning, and excitement all mixed into one. The ultimate exquisite experience that could only come with sex.

Kid whispered "I love you" and rolled onto his back. Louise threw her leg over his and settled her head on his shoulder. They drifted off into a contented sleep. The kind of sleep that lovers know after loving with all you have.

The next morning at breakfast, Louise asked Kid to finish his story from last night. Kid began by telling her that he had traveled west working from farm to farm to make enough to move on. After almost 2 years of that, he ended up in St. Joseph, Missouri. He asked about work at the livery and the man told him he didn't have any. That's when Kid saw the most beautiful creature he had ever seen . . . on four legs anyways. The paint mare was beautiful and the man said she was worth a lot but he would sell her for $25 dollars. Kid walked around town looking for any work. Shouting and the sound of fists flying caught his attention. He rounded the corner and saw a small corral that had been turned into a boxing ring. The outside was lined with people shouting and cheering. The sign said "Irish Johnny McClarnen" and he would get $30 dollars for fighting him for 3 minutes. He beat the tar out of Kid but he won his $30 dollars. He walked back to the livery and handed the man the $25 dollars and walked out with Katy. After he had healed he was riding around town and saw the sign "Orphans Preferred" and signed up to be a Pony Express rider. The rest she already knew.

"Now it's your turn. I know the basic story but not all the details. Tell me. Please." Kid said to his wife. They had been together off and on since the start of the Express. Kid had to learn that she wasn't the prim and proper lady that he was accustomed to; that she wanted to be independent yet still valued the old fashioned idea of family where a man is the head of the house. Just because he is the head doesn't mean she has to submit. . . except maybe when it involved the amazing sex that they had. That kind of submission was right up her alley. . . for him too.

Louise drew a long breath. The boys knew some of her story. Her father being a gun runner and all around bad guy was the probably the first thing they found out. That's when all the boys found out her secret. Kid had known since her run when he found her shot. They all knew about her siblings and being in an orphanage. Kid knew about Wicks. He was the only one who knew about that. She wanted to be honest and tell the boys everything. Some things though she wasn't sure they would understand. Kid, though, was her husband. He deserved to know it all.

"Well, you know about Boggs and him being my father. He used to beat on my mother and me something fierce. We always were provided for but when Ma would stand up about his ways, he used his ways on us. Finally my mother had had enough and when he left one morning, we left that afternoon. Packed up only what we needed and left. Teresa wasn't but a few months old." Lou sipped her coffee. Kid could see that her story was about to get more painful. The look on her face said it all. He stood up and took his coffee cup in one hand and her hand in the other. They headed up to their room in the hotel. Once settled back in, Lou picked up story.

"When ma took sick, we settled in St. Joe. She lasted about 6 months. I was 10, Jeremiah was 6 and Teresa was 2 when she died. A lady that lived next to us, Ms. Williams, had been helping to keep us kids. She paid for a simple burial. Then she got word that her son back east needed her to come and help with his new baby, so she left and went to New York or Pennsylvania or somewhere. Soon the food ran out. I found food the only way I knew how. I begged for scraps or stole it. I got caught stealing one day. The sheriff took pity and took us to the orphanage. After a couple of years I felt like I could go out on my own. Try to make a life for us. I left in the middle of the night. For about a year I worked odd jobs. One day morning I was caught sleeping in the livery. The man that had brought his horse in told the livery man that he would "take care of it". He offered me a job doing laundry at his "place of business". I took it. It was a roof, a bed, food, and a little money. I found out later that it was a brothel. And Lyle Wicks was the owner." Louise sighed. She looked at Kid expectedly. She expected him to be angry. The look of sadness and worry startled her.

"You know that I had been there a little over a year when a couple of the girls wanted to celebrate my birthday. They had the cook make us a fancy dinner. We all ate up in Charlotte's room and they did my hair and makeup. On my way back to my room was when Wicks said it was time that I got a promotion. That I would fetch a fine price because I was so young. He could charge double. But first he had to break me in and sample the goods. He grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into my room. He locked the door and when he turned around he tore my dress off. He took turns beating and raping me for hours. Finally, he decided he had done his job. He got up, got dressed, and left." Louise could see the anger at her words in his eyes. He already knew that she had been raped, but he didn't know the details. There was to be no more secrets. Kid got up and paced for a few minutes. When he realized the pacing was upsetting Lou more he stopped. He sat down again and took her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand ever so gently. When he replaced his hand in his lap, he held on to hers.

"The next morning when I didn't show up down stairs, Charlotte came looking for me. She got me cleaned up and I got dressed. She gave me some money and snuck me out. She told me to run and never look back. So I did. I bought a horse for $20 dollars. After riding for about a week, I came upon a little town. I went into the mercantile and bought a two pairs of pants, three shirts, two sets of long johns, and some boots. I also bought a pair of scissors. I went back to my little camp site and cut off all my hair. Then I changed my clothes. I went back the next day and asked if anyone had any work. That's when I met Jonathan. He was a tall red head with blue eyes. He was a gentle soul. He worked on a ranch just outside of town. I told him I didn't know much about horses or anything, but I worked hard and wasn't afraid of hard work. He said that was fine. They would teach me everything I needed to know. So I went back to my camp and got my things and met him back at the mercantile. I helped him load supplies and followed him back to the ranch. Jonathan and the boys on the ranch taught me how to ride as well as I do. How to work on the ranch. How to break and train horses. How to shoot and handle a gun. They even bought me my gun. I told them I was going to St. Joe to see Jeremiah and Teresa for my 17th birthday. They didn't want me to travel without one. I told them I may not come back. They understood and wished me well. After I visited with Jeremiah and Teresa, I was about to head back to the ranch. Then I saw the "Orphans Preferred" sign. The rest is history. Our family's history." Louise brushed a stray lock of hair out of Kid's face. She cupped his check with her hand and pulled him gently into a kiss.

"Now our story begins. Yours and mine. No more secrets. Wicks is dead. He can never hurt you anymore. When Doritha died, she took the last of my ties to any kind of family with her. Virginia, though, will always be a part of who I am. I love you Louise McCloud Kendrick." Kid almost whispered to Lou. They spent their last night of their honeymoon in the Rock Creek Hotel loving each other with all their minds, bodies, and souls. Come tomorrow, it was back to reality. The world around them threatening to crumble right through their hands.

Aloysius "Teaspoon" Hunter was a former outlaw turned Texas Ranger, prospector and rancher. He often spoke wisdom and offered his advice to help these "boys" (and girl) become men (and a lady). He was often talking "crazy" however the boys soon realized that he was much more sane than originally thought. He had become the father they all so desperately needed. . .but most of all wanted. Teaspoon loved them all like his own children and often referred to them as such. His only other "family" was a young lady named Amanda O'Connell who had posed as his daughter.

Amanda was helping Teaspoon's real daughter since she took sick. While the young lady, Elizabeth, lay dying she told Amanda about a letter that needed to be delivered to Teaspoon Hunter. A con man Amanda was working with discovered the letter and they set out for Sweetwater, Nebraska Territory, once they read all about the ten thousand dollars due to Teaspoon. After spending time with Teaspoon and the riders, she foiled the plot. Teaspoon and Amanda decided to put the money down on a saloon, The Silver Spoon, in Abilene, Kansas.

Besides being the stationmaster of the Rock Creek Pony Express Station, Teaspoon was also the town marshal. He would deputize the riders from time to time as he needed. He became marshal after his reputation from Sweetwater came with him. Sam Cain, the former marshal of Sweetwater, married the lady who ran the homestead where the Pony Express Station was housed. When he married Emma, they moved to Omaha for Sam to become the Territorial Marshal. When Sam and Emma left, he asked Teaspoon to be his replacement. The Territorial Governor, a personal friend of Teaspoon, approved the move and the rest is history.

Louise and Kid checked out of the hotel and headed towards the station house. They went into the main house and up to the spare bedroom where Rachel said they could stay until they got their place. With Kid still riding for the Express, they weren't really looking for a place right now. The runs were slowing down and the telegraph was on its way.

Rachel Dunne was the station mistress that was hired after Emma married Sam and moved to Omaha. Rachel was a lady of many talents. She was an expert card sharp, hustler, and river boat rat. She left that life behind when she met her late husband Henry Dunne. They had been so happy together until Henry was killed by an angry jealous ex-lover of Rachel's. She had run out and shot after the men, hit one but doubled over in pain as she started to miscarry her baby. The law in Blue Creek branded her a murderer and she ran. Trying to hide out at the Pony Express Station, the law caught up to her. With the help of the riders, she was able to clear her name and had been with them ever since. These boys and girl were family.

A week later, the telegraph lines were visible on the horizon of Rock Creek. The boys continued to do their runs and watched with sadness. Teaspoon arrived at the station with another letter. After dinner in the bunkhouse, Teaspoon pulled out the letter and read it aloud.

"Dear Rock Creek Station,

With the cessation of operation of the Pony Express, The property and horses will be sold to expend the debts of Russell, Majors, and Waddell. They will be sold to the highest bidder at a private auction to be held in one week. The last run scheduled out of Rock Creek is tomorrow and there will be no return run.

Russell, Majors, and Waddell appreciates all of your loyalty and hard work. The employees with Russell, Majors, and Waddell will have priority in the private auction. We look forward to seeing in a week.

Sincerely,

Russell, Majors, and Waddell"

Teaspoon refolded the letter and placed it on the table. He took a long breath and looked around the table at all the long faces. Teaspoon had an idea; he just wasn't sure how anyone would feel about the idea.

"Boys, I have been thinking and I want you all to answer a question for me before I say any more. How many of you were wanting to start a horse ranch and stay close to Rock Creek?" Teaspoon thought he knew the answer but he held his breath. He knew he was losing Cody and Jimmy. That was killing him as it was, but to lose the rest of them. He wasn't sure if he could handle that.

One by one they raised their hands. The one month newlyweds Lou and Kid, Buck and Ike, who was already planning a future in ranching with Emily since her property bordered the station. The surprise was Jimmy. Jimmy raised his hand and looked around the table.

"What? I think right here is where I want to settle eventually. I may not be able to be here right now but I want to go in and know that I have a home to come to one day. This is my home now." Jimmy said with much emotion. The emotion in his voice startled them all. Jimmy and Kid had been fighting quite a bit lately. Jimmy felt the war was wrong and Kid wanting to go fight for the confederacy went against him being friends with Noah. Kid felt that fighting to protect the land he was born on, the land that was his life's blood should have the same rights and representation that all the other states did. That was why he wanted to fight. He disagreed with anyone owning a slave of any color.

"That's pretty much what I figured. Noah, what are your plans?" Teaspoon asked looking at the dark skinned young man. He knew that Noah wanted to join the Union Army and fight, however it had been made very clear to him that the Union was not accepting soldiers of any color other than white.

"Actually, Cassie and I have been talking about moving on to California. Or maybe to Oregon. I just think it's time to move on. And while you all are my family, I don't feel that Rock Creek is home. I don't want to settle here." Noah stated clearly. He knew they would understand. They had seen him struggle similarly to what Buck often experienced. The citizens of Rock Creek had learned to tolerate both of them. Some even were welcoming and accepting. The new comers however, were left to be desired.

"Noah, you know you are always welcome in our home no matter where we end up. Like Jimmy said. We are a family." Lou said with tears threatening to spill over.

"I know Lou. I plan on asking Cassie to marry me tomorrow on our picnic. Then, I guess we can discuss our plans and where we will end up." Noah said. Everyone could see the look on his face. He had given this quite a bit of thought. As much as they could try, they would not change his mind.

"Well, boys, here's what I been thinkin'. I was thinkin' maybe those of us who wanted to stay could put our money together and buy the station property and horses. We may not can get all of them but a few to get started with. This property is bigger than I think they realize. We aren't even using a quarter of the property." Teaspoon said.

"How many acres is this property Teaspoon? We are using about 5 acres give or take." Buck asked with a genuine curiosity. Land was just about everything in the west.

"This actual station property sits on about 50 acres. Emily has 25 that borders on the north side. I don't think those high falootin jack a dandy's from Russell, Majors, and Waddell know this. If that's the case, we may can get the land and the horses at a good price. Then we can map out a place to build Kid and Lou a house. Rachel can stay in the big house and the rest of us can use the bunk house. Ike will be living with Emily full time in a month, so we can move out some of the bunks to make more room." Teaspoon had laid his plan out on the table. He hoped to have at least one of them go for the idea.

The group all sat for a moment in thought. All was quiet. Teaspoon was starting to get a bit nervous when Buck spoke up. He had taken a long drink from his coffee cup and sat it back down.

"Well, I may be overstepping but. . . I think we all agree that that's a fine idea. Let's do it." Smiles and cheers erupted in the bunkhouse. Everyone was hugging and could hardly contain their excitement.

"Buck's right. We just need to keep it to ourselves until the auction." Kid said with his arm around Louise. They all agreed that until the auction they would keep it quiet. Since Jimmy had the last run tomorrow, they decided to have a grand feast to celebrate the end of the Express. Louise had been taking cooking lessons from Rachel and agreed to help prepare the feast.

The following day, Kid held Sundancer ready for Jimmy. Ike, Buck, and Lou were sitting on the corral fence. Noah, Cody, and Jimmy were on the porch of the bunkhouse. Soon, a dust cloud came up in the distance.

"Rider comin'" called Louise. Jimmy mounted up on Sundancer and took the handoff from Ben. Ben trotted thru the yard. Kid grabbed the horse for him.

"Hey Ben! I'll get ya somethin' to eat while you get cleaned up." Rachel called from the house. Ben waved in thanks and headed to the showers. Kid walked Ben's horse into the barn and Ike jumped down to follow him. Together they had Ben's horse resting in no time. They started working on the other chores so that they could enjoy their upcoming feast.

"It's really over. I can't believe it." Lou said. She turned her head towards Buck.

"I know. I feel the same way. It's like when you find out your favorite story is not real or true. The end of innocence I guess." Buck continued to look out towards the horizon.

"Yeah. I guess we are all grown ups now." Lou said. She didn't notice that Buck had slid down off the corral.

"Speak for yourself!" Buck hollered as he grabbed Lou and threw her over his shoulder. Lou started struggling to get down and smacked Buck a few times in the back while kicking her feet.

"BUCK CROSS! IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU!" Lou hollered. Buck casually walked over to the water trough and acted like he was going to drop her in. All the commotion caused Kid and Ike to come running out of the barn and Rachel, Ben and Teaspoon to come running out of the bunkhouse.

"DON'T! YOU! DARE! BUCK CROSS!" Lou hollered again while everyone was laughing. Buck dropped Lou into a cradled position in his arms and looked at her face with his famous crooked smile.

"Now Lou, do you really think I would do that to you?" Buck asked. He stood Lou upright on her feet. By this time Lou was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. Buck leaned down a splashed some water on her. They both hugged and laughed.

"You ready to start on the baking Louise?" Rachel asked walking over to where they stood.

"Yep. I think so." Louise said as she headed towards the house with Rachel. Buck walked towards the barn and the boys shared a laugh. After a few hours Ben came out to the barn and saddled up his mount again. He said goodbye to the boys and shook their hands. He hugged Rachel and Louise. He rode out of the Rock Creek Station headed home with a call of "Ride Safe".

A few days later, Louise found herself alone at the station. Cody had ridden out with the Army a couple of weeks ago. Jimmy and Rosemary had ridden out the day before. Jimmy had made arrangements with Teaspoon to buy in to the ranch. Noah and Kid were with Teaspoon at the marshal's office. Ike was at Emily's. Rachel was teaching at the school. Louise thought maybe now was the perfect time to take a relaxing dip in the pond and relax.

She quickly changed into her boy clothes and saddled Lightning. She headed down to the pond and stripped down to her long johns. After a nice swim, she settled underneath a shade tree and pulled a book from her saddle bag. "Leaves of Grass" by Walt Whitman was a gift from Buck when he returned from his last run into St. Joe. Louise had not had a chance to read it yet, so she thought today was a good day. Suddenly she felt as if she was being watched. She took a deep breath and inhaled a familiar scent. The scent of leather, grass, sage, and soap.

"You might as well sit and join me Buck Cross. I know you are there." Lou said. She smiled and waited for him to sit with her. Buck emerged from just beyond the tree line. He smiled as her approached and sat beside her.

"Are you sure you are not part Indian Lou?" Buck asked with a chuckle.

"Not that I know of. I think you've just rubbed off on us enough." Lou chuckled back. The two joked and laughed and reminisced about their many adventures. Lou got up and headed back for the pond.

"You comin' Buck? It's a nice day for a swim." Lou turned and realized Buck wasn't following her.

"Uhm. . . Lou. I don't think it looks good for us to be here in the pond like that. You being a married woman and both of us in our underwear." Buck said as he adverted his gaze. She was beautiful. Buck couldn't help but sneak a peek at her while she was trying to pull him to his feet.

"Awww, who cares. I've seen you in less and I'm sure you've seen me in less. It's just a swim. But suit yourself." Lou said. Before she could let go Buck pulled her down into his lap and started to tickle her. After a minute so, Buck stopped and the pair looked at each other. They both started laughing. Buck stood up and picked up Lou and threw her in the pond. Lou came up sputtering and Buck began to strip to his long johns. The two swam and enjoyed the nice day. Once they got back to the station, Lou went in the big house to start peeling vegetables and Buck took care of the horses. He couldn't believe how great the day was. He had strong feelings for Louise. He loved her. Not as a brother loves his sister. Not as a friend. He was madly in love with her. He hoped that he could continue to stay on and have these feelings, however, he wasn't sure. He knew he never wanted to be without her, even if she was only a friend.

Buck remembered back to the first time he saw Lou as Louise. They all knew before that day that she was a girl. It was just hard to remember when she always had her breasts bound and her "boy clothes" on. Buck was sure that all of the boys had fallen in love with Louise that day, in some way. As she walked down the stairs of Emma's house in the pink dress threatening to punch the first one that laughed. She had taken their breath away. He knew then that he loved her. However, in the couple of years that had followed, He realized that his love for her was so much deeper than he imagined.

Lou had been a shoulder to cry on after the disaster named Kathleen Devlin. Kathleen had used Buck for sex and to exploit her father before throwing him to the side. She was also there for him when Jenny Thompkins, also known as Eagle Feather, led him on and then went east to start a life there with her mother's family. The last time he had bared his soul was when his first love, his intended, came through Rock Creek with her fiancé. Camille, or Little Bird, became possessed by the malicious spirit of an Indian. Buck kidnapped her and helped to set her free. Although Buck knew he was not destined to be with Little Bird, his heart had always been guilty of the way they parted. Now his heart was free of the guilt, but it still hurt.

20


	3. Revelations

**A/N: Explicit Content, Mature Themes. You have been warned. **

**The usual disclaimers about not owning anything and all that jazz. **

"Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age." Ambrose Bierce

Chapter 2

Revelations

Abilene, Kansas

November, 1861

Jimmy and Rosemary left Rock Creek and headed for Kansas. They were going to meet up with the rest of the group as well as Jimmy's sister, Celinda, and her husband, Nathan. Jimmy was sad to be leaving Rock Creek, however he knew that this was where he needed to be right now.

Once they arrived at Celinda and Nathan's house, Jimmy saw to the horses. Celinda and Jimmy had never been extremely close, but had a special fondness for each other. They had only recently grown closer. After supper, they settled into the guest room. Jimmy wasn't sure if his sister would be okay with that sleeping arrangement. The fact that he was laying in bed with the widow of the man who started the group he was riding with without being married to her wasn't lost to him. It just wasn't proper. However, when did he ever do anything proper Jimmy thought to himself.

Jimmy, Rosemary, Nathan and a few others spent the next couple of weeks formulating how to move into Missouri and secure shelter for escaping slaves. At least that's what Jimmy and Nathan were told. The night before they rode out, Jimmy went to catch a game of cards down at a friend's place, The Silver Spoon.

Jimmy walked in and propped up against the bar. He took a long look around the saloon and realized that Amanda had herself a fine establishment. The walls were smartly decorated with ornate lighting and had a chandelier hanging in the middle of the ceiling. Beautiful ornate mirrors were behind the bar. The girls were serving drinks and nothing else unless they wanted to. Then they gave the house twenty five percent and kept the rest. The room was full of card games, laughter, music and conversation. Jimmy smiled in pride at the accomplishment.

"Hey cowboy, need a sarsaparilla? Or are you drinking something stronger tonight? I promise I won't tell Teaspoon." A voice behind Jimmy's back asked. Jimmy chuckled and turned to face the beautiful Amanda O'Connell. Her dark brown hair pulled up to the crown of her head with barrel curls spilling down the back and sides. Her deep purple satin corset bodied dress was trimmed in black lace. It had black boning down the middle front for support. The floor length skirt was 3 layers with a slit up to the upper left thigh where there was a strategically placed black bow. Jimmy's eyes almost bulged out and his mouth dropped open. Amanda laughed heartedly and poured him a whiskey.

"Good to see you Jimmy. What brings you this way?" Amanda asked. Jimmy shook himself back to reality and took a swig of the whiskey. His mouth was suddenly parched.

"Hey Amanda. This is a nice place you got here. Teaspoon would be real proud." Jimmy said before taking another drink. Amanda wiped the bar in front of him. She folded her arms and leaned over.

"I'm here visiting my sister and her husband. My nephew too." Jimmy said. He wasn't even sure why he left out the part about Rosemary. All he knew in this moment was that Amanda was beautiful. . . and what exactly was she hiding under that corset.

"Thanks Jimmy. I worked hard to keep this place respectable. But its mine and Teaspoon's. And it's the best in town. So, how long are you here for? Maybe we could have lunch or something?" Amanda asked. Jimmy put his glass back down and asked for another.

"I'm riding out tomorrow. Going to Missouri for a couple of weeks but then I will be coming back through. How about then? Lunch would be real nice with your company." Jimmy said with a smile while Amanda poured him another whiskey. They chatted for a few more minutes.

"Well, let me get back to work. There are some good games tonight if you're in the mood. See you when get back." Amanda winked and walked away to another new customer. Jimmy took a long breath and shook his head.

"Oh I'm in the mood alright. And it ain't for cards." Jimmy chuckled quietly to himself before throwing back the whiskey. He turned and looked over the room. He settled on a table near the back. He asked to join them and settled in the chair with his back to the wall. This way he could see the room, and keep his eyes on Amanda.

After a couple of hours, Jimmy had won quite a bit and called it a night. He headed for his sister's house. Once he got there, he spoke to Nathan who was sitting in the parlor reading. He walked into the bedroom he was sharing with Rosemary. She was already in bed. Jimmy could tell she wasn't sleeping. He sat down and took off his boots and started to undress.

"I waited for you." Rosemary said quietly. Jimmy looked over at her still lying on the bed, facing away from him.

"You know I enjoy a game of cards every now and then. What's the harm in that?" Jimmy said smiling. He hoped she would take the hint that he was there when he could be somewhere else.

"Yes, I know that. But we are leaving tomorrow." Rosemary said as she sat up, the anger in her eyes apparent. "The mission is so important. I can't have your mind somewhere else. We can not fail. Do you understand? You are so important and vital to the cause. To know that "Wild Bill" Hickok is riding in and part of the cause puts fear in our enemies."

Jimmy could barely control the anger that he felt. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was it "Wild Bill", a name and persona that he hated more than anything, or Jimmy that she wanted.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is that all I am to you? A name. Dammit, I thought we had something real. I love you." Jimmy's voice got louder the angrier he got. He started to pace around the room. Rosemary got up out of bed and went to him. She placed her hands on either side of his face. She kissed him earnestly but Jimmy noted the lack of passion. She was trying to get one over on him. He wasn't about to let that happen just to get a piece of ass.

"Well, I guess that's my answer. You only want me to warm your bed and further your cause with a name you know is not me. That's all that I will ever be to you isn't it. Everyone was right. They were all right about you." Jimmy said as he pulled away from her kiss and her touch. Jimmy's eyes although open had not been seeing the obvious right in front of him.

"James, that's not true. You know I care for you. And having you here is a comfort. I can't love another man like I loved my husband. I can't love anything except the cause. So, yes, I admit that I want you to warm my bed. And I admit that I want people to know that the famous "Wild Bill" is riding with us to further the cause. But I do care for you James, just not the way you care for me." Rosemary said as she stood there. Jimmy looked at her and shook his head. He turned and left the room. He walked into the parlor and settled in on the sofa. He knew he wouldn't get any sleep anyway.

He wasn't sure what he was most mad at. The fact that he had been lied too and manipulated or that all his friends were right about her. He was hurt. He was angry. But most of all, he was alone.

The next morning, his sister woke him with the smell of coffee. He walked in to the kitchen and took a look at his younger sister. She had grown into a rather beautiful lady. He treasured their new found closeness.

"Mornin'" Jimmy quietly spoke to Celinda. Celinda turned and smiled and gave her brother a quick hug. She knew that they would be leaving soon and it would be at least two weeks before they would return. She turned and poured two cups of coffee and handed one to him.

"Jimmy, please watch out for yourself. And for Nathan. I need the both of you to return home." Celinda allowed a tear to escape and run down her face. Jimmy brushed it away. "You know this is your home now too. Here with me. Where ever I am, you are also welcome."

Jimmy pulled his sister into a tight embrace. He had never expected to hear those words. He had left home at 13. Celinda was 10, almost 11. That was 7 years ago. Celinda and Nathan had only been married a year and Jimmy's nephew, William Nathan, was only a month old. The Express was the only real home he had ever had. Now, his sister had accepted him and this was a new chapter.

Celinda moved out of the embrace to start breakfast. She quickly had plenty of biscuits and eggs and bacon ready. Bread was in the oven baking. She was assembling care packages when Nathan and Rosemary emerged. They all sat down to eat and once finished, Rosemary took care of the dishes so Celinda could nurse the baby.

Shortly after, the group was riding out heading to Missouri. Jimmy and Rosemary had barely spoken to each other. The tension was palpable. Nathan noticed and decided for the time being to leave it alone.

One they got about a day's ride from Springfield, Missouri, the group made camp. Jimmy and Rosemary were not speaking unless necessary. The following morning, the group had a strategy meeting.

"Now, the Hatcher Ranch is the place. They are a family of five sons who all live on the property. They attacked and took hostage a group of abolitionist and runaways about a month ago. The plan is simple. We surround and attack. Free the hostages and runaways. Give them time to get back on the right path. Shoot to kill. We will camp at the ranch tomorrow night to help give them time to get back on the path. Any questions?" Rosemary gave the orders with a military precision. She then ordered the group into groups of two to surround the ranch.

"Now wait just a damn minute. Hold on. I thought we were coming to talk about a path to help get the groups out to safety. There wasn't any talk about killing or hostages or anything." Jimmy looked directly at Rosemary while speaking. "This is not what I signed up for. I am not attacking anyone. Why can't we just go in there and talk about this. Or even just rescue in the night but shooting people just to shoot them. I agree the hostages need to be freed but . . ."

"If you understand they need to be freed, what is the problem? These people need to pay for their crimes and not be allowed to do these kinds of things again." Rosemary interrupted. She looked him in the eyes. He stared back into what he felt were the coldest, heartless eyes he had ever looked at. He questioned what made him give her a second look at all.

"A'ight. I will go with you tomorrow. But know this. I will not shoot unless I have too. And when its over, I'm headed back home." Jimmy turned and walked off. He couldn't believe what he had gotten himself into. He spent the rest of the day by a creek not far from camp.

The group saddled up and rode out before sunrise. They rode for about an hour when they started to split into their pairs to surround and attack. Jimmy was paired off with Nathan and their job was to locate and free the hostages. Once the place was surrounded, Rosemary gave the signal to move in. The group slowly moved in. Jimmy noticed what looked like two root cellars. He motioned to Nathan. They went to take a closer look and discovered the second area was actually an underground shelter. Exactly where the hostages were kept.

Jimmy and Nathan opened up the shelter, removing the hinges off of both sides to remove the doors. They went into the shelter and spoke with the leader of the group to find that they had not been harmed and had been treated alright. Nothing special but they were still alive and not starving. Nathan led them out and showed them the way off the property. When the sun was up good, the first shots rang out. Jimmy told Nathan to get out of there and stay out of sight. Shots were flying and whizzing from every direction. Jimmy mounted up and rode out after Nathan to get out of the line of fire.

As Jimmy reached to fence line that bordered the property, he turned to survey the fight. He then caught the sight of several downed men. After scanning the field of vision again he saw Rosemary riding thru the area between the house and the barn. He heard the shot and watched as she flew backwards off the horse. She didn't get up. It took only minutes for the rest of the group to scatter. Jimmy watched as the men who owned the ranch began to survey the damage and dead. Including Rosemary. She was dead.

Jimmy turned his horse and rode back to the camp site from the previous night. That was the fallback site. Nathan and three others were there. That was all that survived out of twenty two. Nathan informed them the hostages were safe and on their way north. Jimmy relayed the death of Rosemary. The three other men bid their goodbyes and rode off. Nathan and Jimmy decided to camp for the night and head home in the morning.

The ride home was pleasant. Jimmy asked Nathan if he minded him staying with them for a little while. Jimmy and Celinda were bonding after all these years and Jimmy didn't want to just abruptly leave. Nathan agreed and said that Jimmy could help in out in his feed store and stay with them. Jimmy agreed and couldn't wait to get back to Abilene, for more than one reason.

A couple of nights after Jimmy returned to Abilene, He went down to The Silver Spoon. He walked in and looked around. The place looked pretty busy and alive tonight. As he walked up to the bar, he smiled at the sight of a buxom brunette.

Jimmy walked up to the bar and tipped his hat to the beautiful woman. He took in her appearance. Herdark brown hair swept to the back in a twist with a few curls placed on top. Her dress was similar to the one she had on the last time, except this one was red instead of purple. Either one would look better on the floor Jimmy thought to himself. What on earth was he thinking? This was Amanda. A daughter to Teaspoon. He was like a son to Teaspoon. He really didn't care. All he wanted was Amanda.

"Well, Mr. Hickok. I see you finally made it back in. Drink?" Amanda asked. Jimmy nodded. "How long you here for? Got a letter from Teaspoon. Said that all of you went in and bought the way station. He said you all got a hell of a good deal. Who all went on in on the ranch?" Amanda asked.

"Yep. I knew the auction was comin' but I hadn't heard how it went. It's Teaspoon, Rachel, Me, Buck, Kid and Lou, and Ike. Ike and Emily are getting married this month. Would you like to accompany me to the wedding?" Jimmy took a drink and waited. He waited for her to say no. Why would she want to go with him.

"That's right. I had almost forgot about that. I received my invitation awhile back. When is it again?" Amanda asked leaning on the bar, displaying her assets. Jimmy couldn't help but take a sharp breath in and hoped Amanda didn't notice.

"About a week or so away. On the twentieth." Jimmy smiled and asked for another drink. Amanda poured him a whiskey straight and sat the bottle down in front of him. Jimmy noticed the way her hands moved, the way she moved her head, the way she . . .

"Why, Mr. Hickok, did you ask me to accompany you to the wedding of our dear friend?" Amanda batted her eyes at Jimmy and feigned swooning. Jimmy chuckled and took a drink. "I would be delighted to accompany you. As long as you know that I am an upstanding lady who wouldn't dream of not doing things properly." Amanda said. After a few seconds both of them started to laugh boisterously.

"Now Miss O'Connell, I would never think you were anything other than a proper lady. As a gesture of good will, allow me to buy the lady lunch tomorrow." Jimmy took her hand and lightly kissed her second knuckle. He then rubbed his thumb over her knuckles as he looked into her eyes. Amanda blushed and put her other hand on top of Jimmy's. They locked eyes. Jimmy felt like he could see forever in those hazel eyes. His forever.

"That would be lovely. You staying to play cards?" Amanda asked. She knew she had to work, but she was the owner.

"Not tonight. I am helping my brother in law in his store starting tomorrow. Since we've been gone he's got a lot to catch up on. But I will see for lunch. Say around noon. I'll meet you here." Jimmy slung back the rest of his drink and kissed her hand again. He had always had a way with the ladies, but this was Amanda. He wanted to do this right. He wanted to be with her, and he was going to make sure he didn't mess it up.

"I'll be waiting." Amanda winked at Jimmy. She wished him good night and went back to work. Jimmy went back to his sister's house. He went in and spoke to Nathan briefly before turning in. He layed in the bed in only his long john bottoms thinking about Amanda. They were cut from the same cloth. Both had a past; both had ghosts and demons; both had loved and lost.

At breakfast the next morning, Jimmy let Celinda and Nathan know he had lunch plans so they wouldn't be expecting him. Nathan and Jimmy went to the store and started working. Nathan started on inventory while Jimmy straightened things up and helped customers. He had to admit, while working in a feed store wasn't the life he wanted, it felt nice to just be Jimmy again.

At noon, Jimmy walked over to the saloon and walked inside. He saw her there by the piano. Amanda was dressed in a crisp white button down blouse with little blue flowers embroidered on it. The sleeves puffed out at shoulder and upper arm but were fitted at the wrist. She had a blue stoned pendant in the center of the collar that went half way up her neck. The blue skirt she wore matched perfectly. Her hair was pulled up in a twist and her trademark silver comb accented the side. She was beautiful.

Jimmy drew in a sharp breath and stared at her for a moment. Finally he came to his senses and walked over to her, taking his hat off in the process.

"Miss O'Connell, Might I say you look beautiful this fine day. May I have the honor of takin' you to lunch?" Jimmy said while taking her hand and kissing the back of it. He looked up at her and winked. Amanda giggled and blushed. She enjoyed having attention from gentlemen, but it was even sweeter coming from someone who was sincere.

"Why Mr. Hickok, I do believe that's the best offer I have had in a long time." Amanda took his arm and they headed out of the saloon and down the boardwalk to the café. After a pleasant lunch, Jimmy walked Amanda back to the saloon and bid her good day. He went back to work with Nathan. Soon the pair were walking back to Nathan and Celinda's house. They talked about the store and the usual business banter. After cleaning up for supper, Jimmy and Nathan sat down at the table. Celinda served up some meatloaf with roasted potatoes and carrots, biscuits, and had made a custard pie for dessert.

"Celinda, I think you took after mother. That was a fine meal. Thank you." Jimmy said. He was proud of the woman his sister had become. She had a fine, loving husband who had a successful business, a beautiful son, and she was a beautiful person inside and out. Celinda blushed and served the pie and coffee.

"Thank you Jimmy. I am glad you came to stay with us. How long will you staying?" Celinda asked. She knew her brother. He would blow like a tumbleweed if the wind blew to hard. She wanted him to settle down and find a good girl to marry. He deserved that.

"Well, I need to go back to Rock Creek for a wedding next week. I will leave in a couple of days. And be back in a couple of weeks. If that's all right with you and Nathan." Jimmy asked. He was hesitant.

"Jimmy, I hope you come back after the wedding. It will be close to Thanksgiving. I was hoping you would be here with us to celebrate. Now that we are together again, I don't want you to leave." Celinda said with a genuine note of sadness in her voice.

"Actually, Amanda is accompanying me to the wedding and I will need to see her back home. I would love to spend Thanksgiving here with you and Nathan Celinda. Rock Creek is my home now, but now that we are close again, I will be sure to visit often." Jimmy told the couple. He meant every word. Jimmy was feeling like maybe he wasn't so bad after all. Like his whole world didn't have to be at the end of a gun barrel.

"I understand Jimmy. But why does Rock Creek have to be your home? Why can't you live here in Abilene. Here with us." Celinda pleaded. She hated to admit that she didn't want Jimmy to leave. But she didn't.

"Celinda, you know I own part of a ranch now out in Rock Creek. We will always be family and I promise you that I will visit often. And you and Nathan and little Billy can come and visit me. I am looking forward to having my own space and working with people who I consider family. This is my dream Celinda. Please understand that." Jimmy said to her. He was so touched that she wanted him to stay that it hurt to tell her no. He never imagined that he would be in Celinda's good graces, much less invited to stay in her home and spend time with her.

"I do understand Jimmy. And we promise to visit as often as we can. I just… I … with mother gone, and father. . . it's just me, you, and Lydia. I want to know my family. Not be a stranger like our mother was forced to be when she married father. She never spoke to any of her family after they married. We didn't know any of them. I don't want that." Tears had formed in Celinda's eyes as she spoke softly. As they silently flowed down her face, Jimmy reached over and took her hand. Lydia had been the youngest of them all. She was only 8 when Jimmy had left. Celinda and Lydia had been 12 and 9 when their mother died. A family friend took the two girls in and cared for them, sent them to school and had approved of Celinda's marriage to Nathan. Lydia still lived with the lady, Ms. Fletcher in Oberlin.

"Celinda, please don't cry. Things are different now. We don't have to live in fear of him. We can be a real family now. And I want to see as much of little Billy as I can. And any other children you have. And I want to be at Lydia's wedding and all that. We are a real family. All of us." Jimmy got down on a knee and reached out to pull her into a hug. "I promise."

After supper, the small family sat in the parlor and chatted. Jimmy told them all about Amanda. He told them some his adventures riding with the express. They all enjoyed each other's company until time for bed. The next evening after supper, Jimmy made his way over to the saloon. He found Amanda in her usual spot, with a glass waiting for him. He smiled to himself and walked over to the bar.

"Could I trouble the lady for a drink." Jimmy said flipping the glass over right side up. She smiled that million dollar smile that had him weak in the knees. . . and hard in other places. She poured the drink and settled with her arms folded over the bar.

"Thought I would see you here tonight. At least, I was hoping to see you." Amanda said suggestively. They looked at each for a long moment. Jimmy chuckled to himself. He couldn't help it. She was absolutely stunning.

"Well, Miss O'Connell, I spent last evening with my beloved sister and her family. So, I thought that maybe I could enjoy your company this evening." Jimmy gave her a sly grin. He took a long sip of the amber liquid and let it burn his throat.

"Why Mr. Hickock, I'm not that kind of lady." Amanda replied grinning and feinging a gasp. "However, we do need to discuss our upcoming travel plans. Seeing as how we need to leave by the day after tomorrow to arrive in time."

"Ah, yea. Our travel plans. Would you like to discuss them now, or can we retire to a more quiet location to discuss this." Jimmy couldn't help but smile. The tension was building, almost like a gun fight.

"Tim, think you handle things for a little while? I may or may not be back tonight." Amanda tossed the question over her shoulder. Tim nodded and laughed to himself. Amanda came from behind the bar. Jimmy threw back the rest of the whiskey and took her offered hand. They headed upstairs to the third floor where Jimmy realized Amanda had the entire floor to herself. She let them inside and she poured them both a drink while they entered the parlor. The apartment was nicely decorated and furnished. There was a kitchen area and bedroom off the parlor.

"This is a real nice place you have Amanda." Jimmy said as he sat down on the couch. Amanda handed him his drink. They made small talk as they sipped their whiskey. They decided to leave tomorrow morning so they would have plenty of time to travel the typically two day trail. They would be spending one night in a hotel on the way. They decided to spend at least a week in Rock Creek. Maybe two. The two chatted and laughed for a little while longer. Amanda walked him out the back way and bid him goodnight. Jimmy pulled her into an embrace and took a deep breath. Her hair smelled like roses. They stayed a little too long in that embrace and when Jimmy pulled back, Amanda kept her arms around his neck. Jimmy leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. Amanda ever so slightly licked her lips at that moment, causing Jimmy's lip to tingle with excitement. He leaned in and kissed her deeply, passionately. After a few moments, he parted his lips to search for her tongue with his own. She eagerly allowed his entrance and their tongues danced with each other. They stayed in that moment for a while. Finally coming up for air, Amanda sighed and said, "It's about time. I was wondering if I was going to have to take matters into my own hands."

Jimmy blushed and smiled. "Well, I just wasn't sure if you had the same feelings I had. I wanted to do things right and make sure we weren't rushin' and doing things too fast." Jimmy leaned in and gently kissed her lips again. "Goodnight, Amanda. I'll see you in the morning." He said almost in whisper. He pulled away and headed towards his sister's home. Amanda went into the saloon and talked with Tim, her head bar keep, and his wife Amy, her head waitress, about keeping things going while she was away. Tim and Amy agreed that it would be no problem and to take her time off and enjoy it.

Jimmy brought Sundancer and his sister's horse, Prissy, and tied them to the hitching post. He went inside the saloon and looked around. He didn't see Amanda so he walked over to the stairs and made his way to the third floor. He knocked on the door and waited. After a few moments, Amanda opened the door looking fresh and ready. Her black split skirt was paired with a cream colored blouse. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail and accented with a black ribbon.

"Wow. I've never seen such a beautiful site so early in the morning. Ready to ride? I brought my sister's horse Prissy for you to ride if that's okay." Jimmy said to Amanda. Amanda smiled. She loved to ride but had never had a horse of her own.

"Why, Jimmy. That was very thoughtful of you." Amanda smiled as Jimmy took her valise and the pair headed downstairs. They mounted and rode off toward the west.

After riding for a few hours, Jimmy and Amanda stopped by a small creek. Jimmy took care of the horses while Amanda set out a picnic lunch she had prepared. After enjoying the sandwich's, cookies, and lemonade, Jimmy laid down with his head in Amanda's lap. Amanda rubbed her hands thru his hair. This is something she wanted. Him. A normal life. At least as normal as it could be for a saloon owner and a never-wanted-to-be gunslinger.

They broke camp and continued on towards Rock Creek. After a few hours, Jimmy pulled up his horse and looked Amanda.

"We are making good time. There is a town a few more hours away we can stop for the night. Eat a nice dinner, stay in a real bed instead of on the trail. Even if we stop, we should make Rock Creek shortly after lunch tomorrow." Jimmy looked at Amanda with a sheepish grin. He knew they were headed in the right direction and didn't want to mess it up by jumping to conclusions.

"That sounds good. Jimmy, can I ask you something?" Amanda was curious. Curious about this man who was stealing her heart. She knew his reputation but she also knew a little bit about the man.

"Shoot." Jimmy was ready for this. Vulnerability. Transparency. He wanted what everyone had. A life. A family. This woman was quickly capturing his heart and he didn't mind one bit.

"What do you want out of life?" Amanda asked. She turned her head to look at him. "This. Us. Is there an us?"

Jimmy looked down at his saddle. He took a deep breath. When he picked his head back up he saw the town just ahead. He glanced at Amanda. He knew exactly how he felt. What he wanted out of "this".

"How about you get us set up at the hotel while I take care of the horses?" Jimmy said as they rode up Main Street. Pulling up the reigns in front of the hotel, Jimmy dismounted. He walked around Sundancer and helped Amanda down by grasping her waist. He held on a little too long and looked down into her eyes. He lightly brushed his lips on hers. He pulled away and grabbed the saddlebags and valise and followed her into the lobby of the small hotel. He sat the bags down and told her he would be back shortly. After boarding the horses at the livery, Jimmy went back to the hotel and asked what room Amanda was in. He entered the room after knocking being welcomed in. Jimmy grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the bathhouse, while Amanda was relaxing in the tub in the room, curiously hidden behind a screen.

Once Jimmy returned about an hour or so later, he and Amanda decided to have dinner at the local diner. The meal was decent and the pair strolled along the boardwalk back to the room. At the door to the room, Jimmy took Amanda by the chin and tilted her face to meet his. He tenderly, softly lowered his head and pressed his lips into her. Amanda moaned softly and Jimmy smiled.

Amanda broke apart to open the door to the room. She reached for his hand and guided him inside. Jimmy kicked the door shut with his booted foot. He reached behind him to lock the door. He turned and sat down on the nearby chair to remove his boots and gun belts. He stood up and crossed the room to where Amanda was sitting on the stool in front of the vanity. She had pulled the pins out of her hair and her dark tresses were flowing down her back. Jimmy expertly moved her hair off her neck and onto her left shoulder and brought his lips down to place kisses along her neck and right shoulder. Amanda leaned her head over to the left allowing Jimmy more access.

After a few moments, Amanda stood up and turned to face him. She reached out and starting unbuttoning his shirt while kissing his face from his lips along his check and jawbone. Once she had his shirt undone she pulled it and the long john shirt underneath off together. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he plunged his mouth to hers. He licked her lips asking for permission to explore further which she granted with her own tongue exploring his.

Jimmy took his hands from around her waist and slid them to the hidden buttons along the front of her dress. He skillfully undid the buttons and pushed the dress from around her shoulders and down to the floor. Amanda was now kissing across his cheek and down his neck. Her hands were roaming freely up and down his back and chest. She took note of the lean, finely cut body that working for the Pony Express had carved. As Jimmy reached for the clasps on the corset Amanda was wearing, she reached down and began to unbuckle his belt and pants. Her corset now tossed aside, Amanda slid her hand inside his pants and began to stroke the even stiffer muscle than those of his stomach. Jimmy quickly drew in a breath and moaned; throwing his head back as she continued her assault by leaning down slightly to message his balls. He pulled her shift over her head and tossed it aside.

Amanda pushed his pants and long john bottoms down while lowering to her knees. As Jimmy stepped out of his clothing, Amanda wrapped her hand around his very well endowed member. She took her lips and brushed them lightly up the side of his shaft. Her tongue licked the underside until she reached the tip. She licked the tip and then continued licking her way back up. Jimmy was in ecstasy. He wasn't sure if he was going to explode or die right at that moment. Just when he thought he couldn't handle another moment, Amanda plunged her mouth around his manhood. As she bobbed her head up and down him, she reached up to message his balls again. She took him. All of him. In her mouth; down her throat. Slowly at first. Then, speeding up her motions, she took her other hand and grabbed his backside. She could feel his hips bucking signaling he was close to release.

Jimmy just knew he had died and gone to heaven. He knew there was no way on this earth to feel the way Amanda had him feeling right now. He reached down and ran his fingers through her hair when he felt her teeth graze along his shaft. She felt him the quiver run along his member and grabbed his backside with both hands holding him there. Jimmy came with such force that he held her head to make sure it was real. Amanda swallowed and stood up. She ran her lips along his.

Jimmy regained his composure after a few moments. He picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist while kissing her with such intensity that Amanda was getting dizzy. Jimmy walked to the bed and sat her down on the edge. He leaned over pushing her back onto the mattress. Her kissed her down her neck and licked her nipples. He took as much of her breast into his mouth and sucked as hard as he could. Amanda gave a sharp intake of breath at the extreme sensation.

After Jimmy had thoroughly taken care of both breasts he slowly kissed his way across her stomach. As he licked her naval, he grabbed her pantalets and pulled them off and tossed them across the floor. He put her feet on the side rails of the bed as he kissed her inner thighs. Jimmy then used his left hand to hold open the pink lips that hid her womanhood. He slowly licked the right inner lip. Then the left. He started to slowly lick up and down the center. Amanda moaned with pleasure. She wasn't sure where Jimmy had learned this trick, but she was glad he had.

Jimmy then took his first two fingers and slid them in her wetness turning them palm up. He began to move the fingers back and forth as if her were telling her to come to him. . .or for him. As Amanda was moaning and gasping for breath she felt herself getting higher. The pleasure was exquisite and she couldn't wait for release. She didn't want it to end though. He soon began flicking his tongue faster. As his tongue got faster, his fingers got faster. Amanda gripped the sheets and began getting louder saying "Oh my God" and "Aahhh". As Jimmy brought her to her first orgasm of the night she hollered out Jimmy's name. As he kissed his way back up her body, she would involuntary convulse from the afterglow of release. Amanda knew that this was paradise. And she never wanted to leave.

Jimmy had found his way back to her lips. She could taste herself and was surprised that she was okay with it. They passionately kissed some more as they made their way up the bed. Jimmy caressed her breasts as he moved to settle in between her legs. Her legs were bent at the knees and her feet resting flat on the bed. Jimmy ran his hands down her body and along her thighs. As he leaned forward to claim her mouth with his own, he took his hand and positioned his once again rock hard member at the opening of her womanhood. With one swift motion he entered her.

Amanda pulled her legs up around his waist and began slowly moving in a rhythm with Jimmy. Their slow, smooth strokes building each other back up to that place. The place where the stars fall and explode. The place where pleasure is all you want. The feelings so amazing that you crave the release. With each slow thrust upward, Jimmy felt the pleasure building, and her nails scratching up and down his back. Amanda was gasping and moaning. He smiled knowing that he was giving her great pleasure. As Amanda dug her nails in one last time she cried out his name; Jimmy again came with such force he was afraid he may have hurt her.

He leaned down and kissed her once more. Jimmy rolled to his side and pulled her with him. She rested her head on his sweat glistened chest, her finger gently tracing an invisible pattern. Jimmy ran his fingers along her upper back. The two lovers enjoying the afterglow.

"I never answered your question." Jimmy spoke softly. He pulled his arm up at the elbow to rub the side of her head.

"What question?" Amanda teased. She knew he avoided the question. She was just a bit surprised that he was choosing to answer it. Especially now.

"You asked what I wanted out of life. This. This is what I want out of life. A beautiful woman that I love more than myself. A partner that knows all my faults and my past and chooses not see "Wild Bill" but Jimmy. A lover who isn't afraid to get and give a good time. A home on the ranch, my best friend as my wife, kids, family, friends. That's what I want." Jimmy spoke with emotion. He wasn't sure why he felt so vulnerable at this moment. His heart felt like it would be crushed into millions of sharp pieces if Amanda uttered one word indicating her feelings were not the same. Why? Why did it feel this way.

"I love you too Jimmy." Amanda almost whispered. She rose up and kissed him softly on the lips. She pulled away. She opened her eyes and looked deep into his hazel brown eyes.

"What did you say?" Jimmy asked. His voice barely more than a whisper. He wanted to believe that he had heard her correctly. He wanted to believe that she could love him. He realized on that moment that he loved her more than anything in the world; he felt he would die without her.

Amanda leaned in and kissed him with all the passion she had. She knew that she loved this man. He wasn't afraid of her past. He didn't judge her or try to change her. She couldn't live without him; she was absolutely certain of that.

She pulled her legs up and straddled Jimmy. She heard him moan and his eyes shut as his hands reached her hips. As she started to passionately kiss him again, she felt Jimmy get as hard as he was earlier in the night. She rose up on her knees and guided the hardness inside her. With a hiss and a moan of appreciation, she began to ride him just like a horse. His right hand still on her hip; his thumb sitting just in the crease where her torso joined her leg and his fingers flared out across part of her butt cheek. His left hand enjoyed grasping her breast as they bounced up and down in front of him. Now it was Jimmy's turn to call out. Soon all he could get out was "mmmmm" and "AAAhhhhhh" and an occasional "holy shit". Amanda felt her orgasm building and sped up her motions. Soon she was moaning loudly and called out "YES" and Jimmy grabbed both hips and held her down on him. Once he relaxed his hold, she laid down beside him.

Once they had regained control of their breathing, Jimmy started kissing her aggressively. Amanda responded in turn. She ran her hands up and down his chest and stomach. Biting at his lower lip and teasing her tongue to him.

"So, you like it every which way do you?" Jimmy smiled as he leaned in to kiss her again. Amanda pulled away and began sucking on his earlobe.

"I like it any way you give it." Amanda stated in a sultry voice. Jimmy knew he was ready to go again. He didn't know what it was about this woman. She had him hard and wanting more before he could even regain control of himself. With a quick motion, Jimmy flipped her over onto her stomach. He reached between her legs and placed his hand on her lower abdomen. He pulled up until she was on her hands and knees. He lined himself up behind her. Without warning he grabbed a handful of hair with his left hand and thrust his hardness inside her. She cried out in both surprise and pleasure. After a couple of hard thrusts, Jimmy reached around over her hips and wet his fingers inside her lips. He then began to thrust again, hard and steady. On his next thrust, he took his wet finger and began pushing it into her backside. Amanda had never done this and was very surprised by how much pleasure she felt.

Jimmy moved his finger in and out in his rhythm. Faster and harder. Amanda was in bliss and unable to utter anything other than "AAAHHHH". Jimmy gave one last hard thrust and came with an explosion of stars in his eyes. Amanda had given one last loud moan and climaxed with a set of stars of her own. Jimmy pulled out and laid down next to her.

"You asked if there was an us. I want you. All of you. I want there to be an us for the rest of my life. I want this for the rest of my life." Jimmy spoke softly, sweetly. He gently kissed her cheek. As he rubbed her back and drew her in close, he closed his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he felt like this. Like he was wanted, needed, craved, desired. Jimmy had been with his share of women. He had sex and he had made love to women. Tonight, he had done both. With the woman he loved; the last woman he wanted to love.

"I want all of you Jimmy. For the rest of my life." Amanda whispered. She closed her eyes and they fell into a beautiful sleep filled with dreams of each other and the future.


	4. What's Love Got To Do With It?

**A/N: The usual blah blah blah. The only part I wished I owned is Buck Cross. Anyways! I am part Native American, however I do not claim to be an expert in any way of the traditions or rituals of any Native American Tribe. I have researched quite a bit however, all the descriptions may not completely accurate. WARNING: Explicit Content and Mature Themes and Subject Matter.**

Chapter 3

"Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken" Tina Turner

What's Love . . . Got To Do With It

Rock Creek, Nebraska

November 1862

Morning dawned in Rock Creek with a cloudless sky and a fresh fall breeze. It was business as usual at the Bar PXF Ranch. The stalls were being mucked and lined with fresh hay. The horses were happily munching on breakfast. Hammers could be heard in the distance as a house was being built in the distance. Smoke was rising from the chimneys as fires were being built for the days cooking.

Teaspoon made his way over to the marshal's office for the day. He turned and looked back over the old way station. Since they had purchased the old way station and renamed it the Bar PXF, the family had really started to blossom. Kid and Louise had gone and gotten Jeremiah and Teresa from the orphanage in St. Joe. Jeremiah was 15 now and Teresa was 11. Jeremiah took a little bit of time to convince that this was real and that they were not just coming for a visit. Teresa on the other hand was so excited she couldn't stand it. She was constantly hugging Louise and Kid on the way home. Once they got back to the ranch, Kid gave Jeremiah and Teresa their own horses. They were new horses that had just been broken so they were perfect for the kids. Jeremiah named his Hercules, or Herc for short. He said he was the biggest horse he had ever seen. Teresa named hers Firefly, for her deep yellow coloring that reminded her of the glow of the lightening bugs.

Jeremiah also took immediately to Buck. Although both children had already met Buck, they didn't really remember him. Once home, Buck shook Jeremiah's hand and told him he needed help in the barn if he wanted to come along. Jeremiah's face lit up with the idea of doing "man work" and proving he was a "man". Buck showed Jeremiah how to muck and clean the stalls, curry the horses and where all the tack was. Kid taught him how to care for his horse. The kids could only ride with a blanket for the time being. Kid and Louise hoped to get them saddles for Christmas.

Buck and Teaspoon were sharing the bunkhouse and Jeremiah decided since he was a "man" now, he should bunk with them. The adults got a kick out of his determination, but Lou finally consented and that was that. Kid and Lou were sharing the spare bedroom in the main house with Rachel. Teresa was also living in the main house until she got her own room in the new house. Construction of Kid and Lou's home had begun last week and was now affectionately referred to as "The Big House". It was going to be a grand house with 5 bedrooms, kitchen, living area, dining room, mud room, root cellar, and even an indoor outhouse. That's what Buck and Kid were doing now, hammering away building the new house.

Rachel and Teresa were busy with breakfast. Jeremiah was starting the rotation of which horses went to the corral for exercising today. Louise was out helping Jeremiah in the barn. Things were looking up for the little family. Ike and Emily were still at home enjoying breakfast at their home. The wedding was just 4 days away and today would find all the ladies fussing over last minute details. Noah had proposed to Cassie and she happily accepted. They decided for Teaspoon to marry them at the ranch the day after Ike and Emily's wedding with just the family there. They would be leaving the next day for California. Noah wanted as far away from the war as he could get.

After breakfast, Ike joined Kid and Buck on the construction while Jeremiah worked the horses. Rachel left to go to her job as the school teacher and Teresa always walked with her. Louise and Emily headed into the dress makers for final fittings. They let the boys know there were sandwich fixings and to not expect them back for lunch.

"Hey Kid, you've been real quiet the last couple of days. Anything wrong?" Buck asked. Kid had been reserved the last three or four days. Buck had noticed that he wasn't talking as much; he just wasn't his usual self.

"Just got things on my mind." Kid responded quietly. He never broke stride from work. Buck and Ike glanced at each other. Now both Buck and Ike were sure something was up. They just were not sure what. They figured Kid would talk when he was good and ready. It must not be too bad since Lou and the kids didn't seem out of sorts. Buck found his thoughts wondering to Lou. Louise. His thoughts wondered to how much he admired the "puny, but spry" rider. She was quite the woman. Never backed down from a fight or a challenge, stood side by side them all and defended life and justice. She could shoot to kill just as easily as muck a stall as cook a full breakfast. Beautiful. She was always attractive. When she would dress as "Louise" and not "Lou" during the express days, she always took their breath away. Now though, her brown hair had grown down to the middle of her back. She would frequently wear it in a ponytail or a braid. She had filled out some since not working as hard. She was perfect; beautifully perfect in Buck's opinion. Buck shook his head to clear his thoughts. He shouldn't have these thoughts. Thoughts of her beauty. Thoughts of her body. Thoughts of her . . .

Louise and Emily met Cassie at the dress makers. The ladies enjoyed the final fittings for Emily's wedding dress and Louise's Matron of Honor dress. Cassie was also having a modest dress made for her and Noah's big day. The girls laughed and giggled and got all new underpinnings and shared dreams and ideas for the future. They decided to go over to the new café and have lunch while they waited for their purchases to be completed and wrapped up. As they stepped out onto the board walk, two riders were coming in on their horses. As they walked towards the riders coming in, Lou's face lit up. The familiar palomino coming into view. Jimmy.

"Jimmy! Jimmy! Amanda!" Lou shouted as she broke into a run towards them. Jimmy dismounted and Lou flung herself into his arms. Jimmy hugged Lou tightly.

"It's so good to see you Lou. You look as pretty as ever." Jimmy said as he held her at arms length. He turns around and helps Amanda off her horse. Lou runs around Jimmy and grabs Amanda into a hug.

"Oh Amanda! It's so good to see you. I'm so glad you came!" Lou said as she hugged Amanda close. Emily and Cassie also stepped forward and hugged the travelers, making the same sentiments known.

"We were just about to have lunch. Would you both care to join us?" Lou asked Amanda.

"I would love to Louise. Jimmy, you coming?" Amanda inquired. Nobody missed the looks, the body language, or the tones of voice share between the two.

"I'm going to go let Teaspoon know we are here. We'll meet you ladies over there." Jimmy said. He winked at Amanda who giggled. The ladies linked arms and headed to the café. Jimmy walked across the street to the marshal's office. He stood in front of the door and chuckled as he realized nothing, absolutely nothing had changed. He saw Teaspoon reclined back in the chair, feet propped up on the desk, hat tilted down over his eyes. To the lay person, he would appear to be sleeping. Hickok knew better than that.

"I need to report a crime marshal." Jimmy stated as he walked in the door. Teaspoon took his hand and slowly tipped his hat back. He jumped up and looked toward Jimmy.

"And what crime would that be Mr. Hickok?" Teaspoon stood up and walked toward Jimmy. The two looked serious at each other a moment, then they exploded into laughter. Teaspoon pulled Jimmy into a bear hug. He was so relieved to his "son" alive.

"Things haven't changed much around here I see." Jimmy took the chair across from Teaspoon.

"Now, see, that's where you're wrong Jimmy. We are ranchers now. The proud owners of the Bar PXF Ranch. Soon to be the most profitable and respected horse ranch in the territory. Kid and Lou went and got Jeremiah and Teresa from the orphanage. Jeremiah helps out on the ranch. Rachel still teaching school and keeping house. Lou helps with a little of everything. Been learning to cook more than just the little she already knew. Buck, Ike and the Kid have started construction on Kid and Lou's house. Gonna be a big one." Teaspoon went and got both of them a cup of coffee. "I'm glad you made it back son."

"Well, I wouldn't miss the wedding. I did need to talk to you Teaspoon. Privately." Jimmy said as he took a sip of the coffee. Teaspoon sat up and took notice. "You are the closest thing to a father that any of us have. Including Amanda. I just. . . uh well, . . . see . . ."

"Merciful God, Just spit it out Hickok!" Teaspoon said. He was starting to get nervous. He wasn't sure where this was going but he didn't like the idea of any of his "kids" in trouble.

"I . . . I. . . I want your permission. I want to court Amanda and I want your permission." Jimmy said in a rush. He took a deep breath. He had faced down gunfighters. He had stared at death. This, however, was far more terrifying.

Teaspoon eased back in his chair with a look of shock on his face. He was both honored to be thought of enough to be asked but also surprised at this new turn of events.

"Court. Amanda. Well, son, are your intentions honorable?" Teaspoon asked. He was beginning to enjoy the nervousness he saw all over Hickok's face, but he was serious in her inquiry. He didn't want either his "son" or "daughter" to be hurt . . . much less by each other.

"They are. We kinda started seeing each other a couple of weeks ago. We sorta got closer by talking when I would come in to her saloon. It's a real nice place Teaspoon. She's done real good. On the way here, we had a nice dinner and talked." Jimmy realized he was rambling. He couldn't lie to Teaspoon. "Teaspoon, I love her. I know about her past and I still love her. She knows about mine and it doesn't seem to bother her. I want to marry her if she'll have me. I promise you, I would never hurt her." Jimmy looked at Teaspoon. He waited for the older man to speak. His nerves were about done.

"Well, Mr. Hickok. I know we all have a past. It's when you find someone who you can bear the sins of your soul to that your life really changes. I can tell something is different about you. I think you courtin' Amanda . . . will be right fine." Teaspoon smiled. Jimmy let out the breath he had been holding and rose to shake Teaspoon's hand.

"So, Teaspoon, How about we join the ladies for lunch?" Jimmy smiled as they exited the marshal's office headed to the café. Once at the café, Jimmy and Teaspoon ordered. The group chatted and laughed and discussed the upcoming weddings. After paying for their lunch, Jimmy and Amanda headed over to the Bar PXF to settle in. Lou, Emily, and Cassie headed back to the dress shop to pick up their packages. Teaspoon wondered back over to the marshal's office, smiling about the day's events so far.

"Riders comin'" Buck gave the familiar call from the porch. The boys had just finished their lunch and were heading inside to put everything away. Everyone stopped and turned. Smiles spread across all their faces when they recognized Sundancer. They put down their cups and headed out in to the yard to meet the riders. Ike grabbed Sundancer's bridle while Jimmy dismounted. Kid got the bridle on the other horse, Prissy, while Buck helped Amanda dismount. The group exchanged smiles and hugs. Buck took Prissy from Kid. He and Ike lead the horse to the barn and got them brushed and settled. Kid, Buck and Ike gave Jimmy and Amanda the grand tour. They were impressed with all that had been done to build up the Bar PXF.

All the luggage was put over at Rachel's to wait until bed assignments could be made. Amanda tried to insist on getting a hotel room, but none of the boys would hear of it. Once Rachel got home, it was decided that Amanda would take small extra room at the main house and Jimmy would be bunking with Teaspoon, Buck and Jeremiah. After supper, the group sat around the table playing cards and catching up. Eventually Amanda excused herself for the night and Jimmy walked her to her room. Soon after, Lou excused herself and went upstairs. Once Lou was upstairs, the group straightened up and headed to their respective sleeping quarters.

Kid headed upstairs and closed the door to the room he and Lou were occupying. He saw Lou there at the dressing mirror brushing her hair. He wasn't sure anymore. He wasn't sure what to think anymore. He had a great life here. A beautiful wife. Loving family. Great partners who were just as good as brothers on his dream of owning a horse ranch. What more could he ask for. He just wasn't settled. In his heart.

He removed his clothes and long john top. He left on the bottoms and climbed into the bed that Louise had already turned down. She put the brush down and climbed into bed next to her husband. She reached her hand out to rub across his chest. She settled her arm around his midsection and drifted into sleep.

The next morning she realized that he was already up and dressed when she woke. She sighed and put her head back down on the pillow. She thought back to the last time she had been intimate with her husband. It had been about 3 weeks. The first month they were married, they had sex two or more times a day. Now it had been three weeks. Worse, was that Lou couldn't remember the last real conversation they had had together. Kid was always preoccupied. Something was weighing on his mind. She had no idea what it could be. The ranch was doing fine. The house was coming along and would be finished in about a week. The weddings were almost over. The kids were fine and loved. She was at a complete loss.

The next two days went by in a blur. The day of the wedding dawned as beautiful as a picture. The ceremony was to begin at two at the church. Louise, Cassie, Amanda, and Rachel helped to get Emily ready. Buck, Noah, Kid, and Jimmy handled Ike. At two o'clock, Ike took his place at the front of the church with Buck by his side. Both men looked mighty fine in their new suits. The rest of the boys were sitting on the front pew waiting for the ceremony to begin. Emma and Sam and their 2 children were sitting on the row behind them. Buck put his hands on Ike's shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. Buck leaned in and whispered to Ike "Today is the day all your dreams come true my friend". Ike felt tears well up in his eye. He turned and hugged his blood brother.

The sound of doors opening caught their attention. Both men turned to look. A few seconds later, Louise appeared in the doorway. Buck couldn't breathe. She was beautiful. He looked at Kid and thought how lucky Kid was to have her as his wife. Kid was looking at his wife with a slight smile. Buck was concerned. Why wouldn't Kid be grinning like a jackass eating briars. Louise was amazing.

Louise walked down the aisle and took her place at the front of the church. Then, Emily appeared with Teaspoon escorting her down the aisle. Ike couldn't breathe. Emily was breathtaking in her white dress and veil that covered her face. Emily began to cry the moment she took the first step. Once they reached the front of the church, the preacher asked who was giving away the bride.

"Her friends who have become her family and I do." Teaspoon spoke loud and clear. He wanted to make sure that everyone understood that they were all a family. He turned to Emily and lifted her veil over her head and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. "Welcome to our family, Emily" Teaspoon said softly. He went and took his seat next to Rachel and Kid.

The reception was held in the town hall area. That evening Ike and Emily retired to what was now their home. They had chosen to go on a honeymoon after thanksgiving. Once they arrived home, Ike helped Emily off the buckboard and quickly scooped her up in his arms and carried her over the threshold. He kissed her until they had to come up for air. He put her back on her feet held up a finger to indicate he would only be a second. Ike then took off outside. He took care of the buckboard and horse quickly. Although he and Emily had been lovers for a while now, this was different. It was their wedding night. He would be making love to his wife. His wife. The thought brought a smile to his face that went from ear to ear. His wife, his partner, his best friend, his lover. He was overwhelmed with the thoughts. He never imagined he would ever have what he did. A family that loved him for who is was. A blood brother that knew his soul. A ranch that he can do what he loved. A wife that was beautiful, loving, caring, and whom he loved more than life itself. He was so blessed and he wasn't sure he deserved it. However, he was going to count his blessing and go inside to make sure his wife knew how much he loved her.

Ike briskly walked to the house. He stopped to wash up before entering the house. Once inside he looked around. He realized that this was the second time he had walked into his house. He went upstairs and walked to the room he had shared with Emily many times. Now, this was his bedroom also. He walked into the room and stopped in his tracks. He took a sharp intake of breathe. Before him Emily stood in a knee length white nightgown. The nightgown was sleeveless and very thin. In the lamplight Emily appeared to be wearing nothing at all. Ike stood still as Emily approached him. She led him to the chair and gently pushed him down on the seat. She crouched down and took off his boots and socks. She took his hand in hers and they stood up together.

Emily brought her hands up and untied his string tie while his hands went around her waist. She leaned in and kissed him. Softly at first. As she unbuttoned his shirt, her kisses became more passionate; demanding. Ike returned her kisses passionately. Emily pushed his shirt off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She reached down and grabbed the bottom of his long john top. The pair broke apart just long enough to pull the top off. Once their lips were back in place, Emily reached down and unbuckled his belt, then unbuttoned his trousers. Ike took over at this point and grabbed the nightgown at the waist. Pulling it over her head and letting it fall to the floor, Ike grabbed her wrists and put them around his neck. He slowly guided her to the bed and lowered her down on it. He put his hands on either side of her head and slowly leaned down to kiss her. He gently kissed along her jaw and down her neck. He took his right hand and started tracing invisible patterns across her chest, breasts and stomach. He moved his lips down and started licking her nipple and sucking her breast. Emily gasp and placed her hand on head to encourage him to continue. Ike moved to the other breast with a sly grin on his face. As Emily gasp and moaned, Ike began to kiss his way down until he was kneeling before her. Ike took his finger and stroked the place where her lips met. After he took his hand and spread those lips. He ran his tongue up one side and down the other. Slowly. He then licked the center and flicked his tongue over her clit. Emily was moaning and thrashing her head back and forth on the bed. Gripping the sheets as Ike continued to lick, suck, and flick his tongue over the soft pink flesh. Suddenly Emily had stars explode in her eyes and she called Ike's name in between the "Oh God"s and the "Yes"s. Ike smiled, very pleased with himself. He had never pleasured Emily like that before. He had been wanting to but decided to wait until tonight.

Ike stood up and pulled his trousers and long john bottoms off and threw them to the side. Emily scooted her way to the head of the bed. Ike climbed on the bed and crawled on top of Emily. She reached down and grabbed his harden member. She smiled as she thought that Ike seemed bigger and harder than ever. Ike closed his eyes at the feel of her hands around him. He let her stroke him and roll his balls in her hand. He had to concentrate so he didn't lose it right then. He reached down and grabbed under her thigh and pulled her leg up around his waist. As Emily pulled her other leg around his waist, Ike plunged himself into her wetness. Emily cried out in pleasure at his aggressiveness, something that she wasn't used to but was enjoying. Ike continued to thrust inside her, deeper and harder. Emily felt like she was going to explode. She matched him thrust for thrust and soon they both exploded with pleasure as the both came at the same time. Ike kissed her softly and then rolled her side. He pulled Emily close to him and she laid her head on his chest.

"I love you Isaac Mathew McSwain. With all my heart." Emily said to Ike. Ike tapped her shoulder and she looked up at him. Ike signed I Love You and they both drifted off to sleep. The two lovers slept and loved until the morning.

Buck lay in his bunk thinking. Laying there on his buck in nothing but his long john bottoms, his chest bare; thinking about the wonderful day it was. His blood brother had gotten married to a terrific woman. Buck was proud that Ike had found his soul mate. Ike had always told Buck that he figured he would be alone. Buck understood. Being half Kiowa, Buck figured no white woman would want to be with an Indian and no Indian maid would want a white man. So, Buck has resigned himself to a life alone. Yes, he had for love for his white family and he at one time had Red Bear. As far as a wife, he was alone. He would be content. He had to be.

His thoughts drifted back to today. He couldn't believe how good it felt to have Louise snake her arm into his. As best man, he got to escort the matron of honor down the aisle. So, at the right time he offered his arm to Louise and she gladly accepted. Buck's heart skipped a beat when her hand rested comfortably on his forearm. He even took his left hand and laid it gently on top of her hand for a moment. At the reception, Buck had danced with Rachel, Emma, Amanda, Cassie, Louise, and even got a chance to dance with the bride. He had had a great time with his family and friends. Louise was beautiful today. He couldn't understand what was happening between her and the Kid. There was a distance between them. As much as he wanted Louise for himself, He didn't wish any ill will towards their marriage. Cassie and Noah were getting married tomorrow. And then Thursday was the first Thanksgiving at the Bar PXF. Louise had asked Buck to hunt out a turkey for thanksgiving. Buck planned to do that on Wednesday. Buck slowly drifted into a restful sleep, full of dreams. Dreams of her. Dreams of Louise.

Jimmy and Amanda had enjoyed the wedding and reception a great deal. It was nice to be carefree and enjoy the company of others. Jimmy danced with Amanda but also with Cassie, Louise, Rachel, Emma and even the bride. Everyone now knew about Jimmy and Amanda and they were excited for the couple. Jimmy walked Amanda to the main house and they sat on the swing for a bit. After a while he bid Amanda goodnight and went to the bunkhouse. Buck was already asleep. He was laying on his stomach and Jimmy could tell he was dreaming about something good from the mumbling and slight moans he was giving.

Jimmy had noticed that something was off between Kid and Lou. He figured he would try to talk to Kid before he left on Monday. Louise and Rachel had been crushed when Jimmy said they were not staying for Thanksgiving, but quickly recovered when Jimmy promised to be back for Christmas. He had gotten to talk with Lou, Rachel, and Emma and told them about his conversation with his sister and his promise to be there for thanksgiving. The ladies were thrilled for Jimmy. He had reconnected with his sister and they knew how much that meant for and to him.

Jimmy stripped down to his long john bottoms leaving his chest bare as well. He climbed into his bunk and wished he was curled up in the bed with Amanda. Jeremiah was asleep in his bunk. Teaspoon would be in after making a round about town. Jimmy laid there thinking about life was coming together for all of them. He prayed for the first time in a long time. He prayed that everything would turn out the way it should and they would all be happy.

The next morning dawned beautifully. The people of the Bar PXF were in full swing getting chores done so they could get the arbor fixed for Noah and Cassie's wedding that afternoon. The ladies were busy cooking up a storm. After all the chores were finished, the boys fixed up an arbor that Amanda and Lou were tasked with decorating. They filled the arbor with fall leaves and flowers. The changing colors were beautiful and appropriate for the momentous occasion.

The ladies helped Cassie finish dressing and the boys kept Noah occupied. The family and few friends from town gathered at the Bar PXF for the ceremony. Teaspoon performed the ceremony and cheers were heard when he announced that Noah may kiss his bride. After the ceremony, the family sat down to a fine meal and a few dances outside in the yard. Noah and Cassie went back to the boarding house they had been living in to start their evening together.

"Hey Kid, you wanna go for a walk. It's a lovely night and maybe we could spend some time together." Louise asked while rubbing the shoulders of her husband. They had been communicating, however there was a distance that Lou couldn't understand.

"Sure Lou." Kid stood up and grabbed her hand. They walked out to fence line and managed some small talk. They even managed to laugh a little bit. Finally, Lou got up the courage to ask her husband something important.

"Kid, what's goin' on. Why are you distant lately." Lou asked.

"It's nothing Lou. Just got some things on my mind." Kid answered.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me" Lou answered back.

"I just. Well, I was wondering. Could we maybe go ahead and try to have a baby. I know we are just starting out and all, but I really feel strongly about it. I think. . . I think that would be a great thing. A baby." Kid said as he turned and took Lou in his arms. He kissed her with all the passion he could muster. He knew that wasn't it. That wasn't the whole truth.

"Kid, I . . . I don't know. I don't know if I want a baby so soon." Lou answered back. Kid's face fell. He was shocked. He was . . .mad.

"Why the hell not Lou! I mean, that's what couples do. They get married. They have babies. The man provides for his wife and she keeps house and the children. What is wrong with that!" Kid spat at Lou. He was furious. He couldn't tell her the truth though. The truth was much harder. Lou looked at him in stunned silence. She thought they had moved past all this mess. She thought he understood her; that she was independent and while she didn't mind keeping house, she certainly wasn't going to let someone tell her that was ALL she could do.

"Well, Kid. The way I see it is that we are supposed to be partners in this marriage. I thought we had already talked about that. But since you brought it up. When was the last time you made love to me? When was the last time you had sex with me? Either in our bedroom, down by the swimming hole, in the meadow, or even in the hayloft? When?! You used to grab me by hand after mucking stalls, hadn't been out of bed 2 hours, climbed the ladder to the hayloft and screwed me until I couldn't speak. Or go for a picnic down by the swimming hole and made love on the blanket. Or all the great hard sex first thing in the morning before breakfast. Hell, sometimes that was breakfast. But no. It's been three weeks. Three weeks since you laid a hand on me. Even if I wanted a baby right now, I'm pretty sure that you have to have sex to make one." Lou spat back at Kid toe to toe with him. She turned on her heel and stormed up to the house. She went inside and rushed into their bedroom. She closed the door and changed into her nightgown and crawled into bed, tears streaming down her face.

Jimmy and Buck were sitting on the bunkhouse steps when Lou went by. They could hear the muffled sobs. Buck wanted to go to her but thought better of it when a few minutes later Kid came from the same direction. Kid stopped at the bunkhouse and sat down beside his brothers.

"Come on. Let's go." Jimmy said as he stood up. Buck and Kid followed, knowing they were headed to the saloon. Once at the saloon, the boys settled into a game of cards amongst themselves. Jimmy ordered a bottle of whiskey and three glasses. The trio played cards and drank until all of them could barely speak. The words were slurred and the cards were doubling before their eyes.

"So Kid, wha was all tha about tonight?"Jimmy asked his friend.

"Ah it was nothing. I jus got a lot on my mind and I ask Lou abousomethin and she didn't like it. But what else is new. When has she ever liked my ideas." Kid managed to get out.

"Now Kid, you know Lou loves you and you two make a great team." Buck said sloppily.

"Tha's just it Buck. We are't a team. I am the man and she is my wife. I provide and she keeps house. I jus wanted that. Tha's all. Oh and a baby. I tol her I wanted a baby now." Kid said. He was trying to concentrate on the cards and not put his head down.

"A baby. Why now?" Jimmy asked. Jimmy realized that Kid was drunker than he and Buck. Good and drunk as a matter of fact. Jimmy started to wonder how they were going to get back to the ranch.

"I jus think is time. Sides, I would have a reason to stay." Kid mumbled. The comment escaped Jimmy's attention but not Buck's.

"Wha do you mean a reason to stay." Buck asked his friend. Jimmy looked up from his hand. Kid hung his head.

"Nothin. Jus a thought. I fold. Le's go home boys." Kid put his cards down and tried to stand up. He promptly ended up back in his chair. Buck frowned and wasn't satisfied with his friends answer but felt like he should leave it alone. Buck gathered the cards and put them in the center of the table. Jimmy helped Kid to his feet. Together the trio made it back to the Bar PXF. Jimmy opened the door to the house and shoved Kid inside. He shut the door and walked with Buck to the bunkhouse. Buck was still troubled by the Kid's comment.

Kid stumbled up the stairs. He told himself to be quiet but he managed to hit the wall and banister several times on his way up. He stopped at the door to the bedroom he shared with his wife. He swayed before resting his head against the wood door. His wife. His Lou. His Louise. He loved her so much. He couldn't understand. He was drawn to her because of her independent, fierce loyalty. The way she could stand up to anyone, man or woman. The way she defended any of them against wrong, cared for them when injured, could match them working as the day is long. He loved all of those things about her. Hell, that's how he fell in love with her. Louise was different.

He thought about how he had pictured himself marrying a proper lady. A real southern belle. A lady who wanted to fawn over her husband and have a proper house. A lady who would never be caught in anything but a camisole, pantalets or bloomers, petticoats, a corset and a proper dress. Even though the thought of Lou in those tight work pants turned him on, he wanted her to be a proper wife. He thought he could move past it, move past the thought of her not being a _proper_ lady, at least in his opinion. She wore dresses most of the time, but also readily pulled on her trousers and a work shirt. At least she had taken to wearing nightgowns, lacey and feminine. Her favorites were the sleeveless ones with tie closure in front of the breasts. She had several of those with strings of different colors. Her breasts under those ties. Many times he reached out and untied those pink, red, blue, yellow, or black strings. Slowly lowering the wide straps from her shoulders to reveal the hidden treasure underneath. Kid started to breath hard. His pants were getting tighter as he was getting harder. He thought of the softness of her skin and the wetness of her clit and pussy. He was going to have his wife. And he was going to have her right then.

Kid pushed open the door and closed it behind him. He fumbled with the lock until it slipped into place. He sat down on the chair and removed his boots and socks. He pulled his shirt and under shirt off and tossed it aside. As he stood up he undid his pants and pulled them off. He walked to the bed, his erection leading the way. Once he got to the bed he looked down at Lou. She was laying on her back, her left arm draped to rest on her forehead. He could tell she had been crying. He crawled on top her and as she stirred he plunged his mouth down onto hers.

Louise was now fully awake with the forceful kiss of her husband. She tried to push him away but he wouldn't budge. She could taste the whiskey and smell the smoke on his skin. Kid continued to kiss her as he reached down and pulled up the nightgown to around her waist. He pushed his way between her legs and entered her without warning. He thrust into her in a fast rhythm while he groaned. Louise kept silent as he continued to assault her. When he finally came and rolled onto his side of the bed, Louise turned away from him. Tears streamed down her face as she thought about what had just happened. She wouldn't say he raped her, but he had taken her by surprise and it wasn't pleasurable for her. Louise told herself that must be what is meant by "you wifely duty". Louise could hear his snoring and tried to sleep, however her dreams were nightmares. Reliving the past. Wicks. The rape. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Wicks.

As she saw the dawn, Lou got up and washed up. She got dressed in her everyday skirt and blouse and headed downstairs. She put on a pot of coffee and sat there with her head in her hands. She drank her coffee and then started biscuits. After she had the biscuits in the oven, she threw some sausages into the skillet. As they sizzled and popped, Lou found herself thinking back to last night.

"Thanks for getting a start on breakfast Louise." Rachel said as she finished pinning her hair. Louise jumped and dropped the spatula she had been holding. Rachel noticed the startled Louise. "Lou, honey, are you alright?"

Louise picked up the spatula and handed it to Rachel. "I'm fine." was all Rachel got. Louise turned and headed out to the porch with a cup of coffee. She sat and thought of what had happened last night. It's not that she didn't want Kid, it was the way he just took what he wanted. She didn't get a say in it. She didn't get any pleasure out of it. She sighed and made up her mind that that was her job as his wife and that was that. Tears rolled down her cheek as she realized she had settled. Settled to just be a warm body for her husband to pass the night. Hopefully this was just temporary.

Rachel come out and rang the bell for breakfast. Teresa had set the table and was placing food when Louise came in to help. Buck, Jimmy, Teaspoon, and Jeremiah came in a few minutes later. Amanda came in apologizing for oversleeping. Everyone laughed and began dishing up their food. Lou sat quietly at her place with her coffee and drifted into her thoughts.

"Lou, how's the Kid. He was pretty bad off when I shoved him inside last night." Jimmy asked grinning. Lou didn't answer. She hadn't even heard him. Jimmy looked over at Buck who cast a worried glance back. Jimmy reached across the table and placed his hand on hers. Louise jumped at the touch and spilled her coffee. She quickly apologized and cleaned up the mess. She then refilled her coffee and grabbed another cup. Muttering another apology, she disappeared up the stairs.

The family at the table looked at each other with concern. They finished their breakfast and Amanda offered to clean up. The school was on break for the upcoming holiday so Rachel and Teresa were in no hurry. Jimmy and Amanda had said they were leaving after lunch and would be stopping to spend the night at a hotel. Jimmy wanted to make sure they got home in plenty of time for the holiday. The group of men filed outside with Teaspoon headed to the jail and Jimmy, Buck and Jeremiah back to work. Jeremiah stated he was going to ride the north fence line and would be back later. Buck reminded him to come for help if he needed it. Jimmy and Buck went work on Kid and Lou's house. The pair talked about the unusual events at the breakfast table. Both men acknowledged that something was wrong but neither could fathom what. Jimmy let Buck know to send for him if he needed him. Buck agreed that he would.

Louise took both cups of coffee upstairs. She quietly opened the door to the room she shared with Kid. The Kid. She had been in love with him for almost three years. She had imagined them growing old together. Raising children. She had no idea where this melancholy or anger or whatever it was came from, but she was hoping it was just temporary. That was her new mantra. She had to have hope.

She went and pulled the chair up to Kid's side of the bed. He was laying on his stomach. She sat the coffee cups down on the bedside table.

"Kid. Kid. Kid wake up." Louise spoke softly at first and then raised her voice slightly. She shook his shoulder just a bit. Kid stirred and rolled over on his side to face her. He smiled and ran his hand thru his hair. He realized the headache he had and suddenly remembered the night at the saloon. He suddenly wondered if he had said too much. Lou handed him the cup of hot coffee.

"Thanks Lou." Kid said as he gently sat up. He took a sip and looked over at her. He smiled but the smile faded when she didn't return the gesture. Kid tried to remember what he could have possibly done to cause the look on her face. She looked hurt and sad. He reached over to push a stray lock of hair out of her face and was shocked when she pulled away from him. What had happened he thought to himself.

"Lou. Louise. What's wrong sweetheart." Kid asked. He was honestly hurt by her actions and the expression on her face.

"How much do you remember about last night?" Louise asked him. She had never been afraid of Kid. She knew he would never hurt her. However, after last night, she was afraid. Afraid of his actions and his thoughts.

"I remember we had a fight. I went with Jimmy and Buck to the saloon. We played cards and drank whiskey. I remember them helping me home. I remember climbing the stairs. That's about it I think. The rest is real fuzzy. Why?" Kid answered. He took a few more sips of coffee and tried to remember.

"You don't remember what happened after you come into our room?" Louise asked. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She didn't want to be emotional but she wasn't sure she could hold it back.

"Well, uhm, I remember . . . getting undressed. . . sort of. I remember . . ." Kid ran his hand thru his hair. He just couldn't remember. Something had happened. "Please Lou. I don't remember. And I want to understand why all of a sudden it's like you're afraid of me."

"Okay. After our fight, I came in here and went to bed. After the boys brought you home, you came upstairs. You came in and got undressed. I don't know the details of that because I was asleep." Lou took a deep breath and lowered her eyes. Kid noticed the change in her demeanor. Now, he was afraid. "You took me Kid. You woke me up kissing me rough. I tried to push you away but I couldn't. You tasted like whiskey and smelled like smoke. You pulled up my nightgown and took me. It didn't matter what I needed or wanted. Once you were done, you rolled over and went to sleep." Louise couldn't look up. The tears had begun to roll down her cheeks. "I know I am your wife Kid. I accept that responsibility. I know that there are certain things a wife is supposed to do. And I guess from now on, if that's what you want, then I guess . . ." Louise couldn't finish her sentence. She got up and left the room. She didn't stop until she was in the barn and had saddled Lightning. She rode out at gallop before she even cleared the barn. She had no idea where she was going, but she just needed to get there.

Kid remained sitting up in the bed. He stared straight ahead. He had forced himself on his wife. On Lou. On Louise. He had forced himself on Louise. How could he do that. How could he force himself on anyone, but especially Louise. Kid wasn't sure how long he sat there like that. He did realize that something had happened between them because he was naked. She wouldn't lie about that. He knew that he was stressed about his decisions, but never would he hurt someone like that. Kid got up and got dressed and wondered down to the kitchen. He dropped off the coffee cups and headed outside. Kid headed over to where Buck and Jimmy were working on his house.

"Hey guys. Have you seen Lou?" Kid asked as he looked up. Jimmy and Buck both looked down at him. Kid looked over the house. It was finished. All that was left to do was nail in the trimming. He half smiled. Kid wasn't quite sure what the boys knew or what he had said while he was drunk. He was happy the house was finished; would he have a wife to share it with. Would he even stay now to enjoy the house. Jimmy and Buck climbed down the ladder and stood by their friend, their brother.

"Uhm, well she went for a ride. She just saddled up and took off. It was so fast I hope her cinches were tight. She seemed upset." Jimmy told Kid. Kid just nodded and looked toward the barn. Buck told him Jeremiah was riding the north fence line. The morning chores were done and now they were waiting for lunch.

Kid knew Jimmy and Amanda were leaving after lunch. The trio went back to the barn and started exercising the stock. They made small talk and joked about the new side of Jimmy they were seeing.

"Hey, Kid. You said something last night and I was wonderin' about it." Jimmy asked.

"What's that?" Kid answered.

"You said last night that you asked Lou about having a baby. Is Lou pregnant?" Jimmy asked. Buck looked up at Kid. He couldn't help the expression on his face, but he could hide it behind a horse.

"Uhm, no. Not that I know of. I asked her last night if we could have a baby. I, uh, don't want to wait any longer." Kid said. He didn't want to get into any more details. He wasn't sure himself.

"So, I guess she doesn't want a baby right now. Is that what you were fighting about and we all ended up at the saloon?" Jimmy asked. He knew there was more to it but he wanted to pull it out slowly or Kid would clam up.

"Yea. She said she wanted to wait and we haven't exactly been . . . you know . . . dancin' a lot lately." Kid said to Jimmy. He knew Buck was listening. These were his brothers. He could tell them anything. . . couldn't he?

"I see. Well, Kid, my advice is to work out whatever it is in your head. Something is eatin' at you pretty good. You don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But remember, we are your family and we're here for you if you need us." Jimmy walked over to Kid and put his hand out. Kid shook his hand and nodded his thanks. Buck also came over and shook Kids hand.

Rachel called them all in for lunch. Jeremiah had ridden up a few minutes before and was the last one seated. The group passed around the sandwich's, pickles, and potato salad. Teresa poured everyone a glass of lemonade.

"Anyone seen Louise? I haven't seen her since breakfast? I wanted her to help me with some of the baking." Rachel asked no one in particular. Jeremiah looked up with concern. Teresa looked a little frightened.

"She went for a ride I think. She should be back soon. If not, We will go find her." Buck said. He reached over and pulled Teresa into a hug. Jeremiah relaxed knowing that Louise was an accomplished rider and could handle anything. Kid forced a smile at his sister in law and brother in law. He knew he was the cause of her riding out like she did.

Jimmy and Amanda packed up and promised to deliver lunch to Teaspoon at the jail. They hugged and said their goodbyes. Jimmy whispered to Buck to keep an eye on things and let him know if he was needed. Buck nodded. Jimmy hated that he didn't get to say good bye to Lou, but they couldn't wait any longer. Rachel packed them a package of food for the trail. After promising to be home for Christmas, delivering Teaspoon his lunch, and saying goodbye to their "father", Jimmy and Amanda mounted Sundancer and Prissy respectively and rode east towards Abilene.

Louise let Lightning has his head. When Lightning slowed himself down, Louise began to look for a place to make camp. She found a creek a few minutes later. She stopped and set up camp. She tied Lightning a line and let him graze a ways. He could go to the creek for water or eat; just do what he pleased. Lou thought it was so ironic. Her horse could do as he pleased but she couldn't. Her thoughts drifted back to the night before. She would have never believed Kid would force himself on her. She sat there all day by the creek. Thinking about life, her marriage, her husband. She knew something was eating Kid alive. She just wished she knew what.

Louise saw that the sun was setting and knew she needed to get back. As she stood up to break camp, she heard a horse whinny. That horse was not Lightning. Louise pulled her gun out of her pocket.

"Hello the camp. Lou? Is that you. If it's not, I want to know how Lightning got here?" Buck came around the tree line smiling. Lou put her gun back and forced a smile at Buck. She started to ask how he found her, but thought better of it. It was Buck. He could find a ghost in a storm blindfolded.

"You okay Lou. Everyone's worried at the house. Kid hasn't said much all day. Jimmy and Amanda rode out today and they were sorry they didn't get to say goodbye. Jeremiah is getting more concerned by the hour. He said he knows you can handle anything but you are still his sister. Teresa is scared to death that you aren't coming home. I keep hugging her and telling her that you will come home when you got ready. She finally broke down and cried when you missed supper. I pulled her into my lap and told her I would ride out and track you after supper as long as she promised to not worry. Even if we didn't come home tonight, to not worry. That I would find you and bring you home." Buck explained to Lou. They both sat down near the fire Lou had made earlier. Buck pulled out a package of food and gave it to Lou. She opened the package and pulled out a sandwich and an apple. She started to nibble at the sandwich. Buck could sense she wanted to talk but he would let her be the one to speak.

"Buck, can I ask you about somethin'?" Lou looked up at Buck.

"You know you can. At least I hope you know you can ask me anything. You can talk to me about anything. I hope you know that." Buck said looking over at Lou. Lou continued nibbling her sandwich.

"Buck, The Kiowa. . .your village. . . what is marriage like? I mean. . .what is expected of the man and the woman." Lou asked. Buck's expression changed. He was surprised by the question. Why was Lou curious about the marriage customs of the Kiowa?

"Well, Lou, the men are warriors. When the male comes of age, he goes through a series of tests to prove he is worthy of becoming a man; a warrior. They must complete at least 4 tasks to travel thru the warrior societies. The man provides protection, food and is the decision maker for the family." Buck spoke knowingly. Although he had left his tribe at a young age, before he even went through his tests, he still knew what life was like. "The females are considered maids until they are married. Then they are considered a woman. The woman helps to prepare meals for the village, tend to the children and the elders, and provide a skill to help the tribe like sewing or beadwork. Those things can be traded and gather status." Buck looked over at Lou. She had kept her eyes on the fire. "Why Lou?"

"I was just wonderin'. Are all the marriages arranged like you and Camille?" Lou asked.

"No. Some are arranged. Especially for status. Most are not. The warrior chooses a maid and asks for hand by a display." Buck answered.

"A display?" Lou looked over at Buck finally.

"He makes his intentions known with her father or brother or oldest male family member. If the man feels the warrior is worthy he would agree. Then the warrior would present horses to the family of the maid. The number of horses presented are based on status in the tribe. If the maid agrees, she joins the warrior at his dwelling. Then they marry within a couple of days and they begin their lives together." Buck looked over at Lou. He had never really talked much about the customs of his people to anyone. He found it refreshing although worrisome.

"So, does everyone marry for love?" Lou looked down. Love. "You keep mentioning status. Do they marry for love or status?"

"Both. Or neither. Some marry for love and are happy partners. Some marry for status or marry their daughters off for status. Most of those are prearranged." Buck said. He was trying to get Lou to look at him. "Most do not marry for love but may eventually learn to love their spouse. I have seen couples that the woman was not allowed to even look at the man. He was the master and she his servant. In every way, from food to sex. But, I have also seen couples that the man and his woman are equal partners and they truly love one another."

"So, the man can just force himself and take his wife whenever he wants her." Buck could hear the emotion in Lou's voice as she made this last statement. He was afraid to answer. Lou had a reason for this line of questioning and he had no idea why. Buck remained quiet for a minute. He knew the truth. He knew that with both the Kiowa and in the white world, the wife was considered the husbands property. And while the man or warrior could go and have sex with whores or slaves, the woman could not. The warriors often had sex with the captives from other tribes or the white captives. They were encouraged. It wasn't uncommon for a warrior to have had multiple sexual conquests before marriage. . .and after. The women however, could not. The maid was to be pure for her warrior husband. Untouched. Unspoiled.

"Uhm, well, Lou. Uh, Louise." Buck stumbled over the words. He finally took a deep breath and let it out. "Yes. The Kiowa consider their wives like the white man. They are the property of the warrior or husband. They can do with them as they wish. That goes for the slaves or captives as well." Buck braced himself for the anger he was sure Lou would hurl at him. He was surprised that it never came. "You know Lou, it's late and I don't think we could make it back to the ranch tonight. Buck stood up and went to where Warrior and Lightning were grazing. He pulled out 2 bedrolls and walked back to where Lou was sitting. She started making another pot of coffee.

"I'm sorry Buck. You should have gone back. I just needed to think is all. I'm sorry I kept you out here." Lou handed him a cup of coffee.

"Lou, you know I will not leave you out here by yourself. I know you can take care of yourself and you've spent more than your fair share of nights on the trail. But you're family and we stick together." Buck smiled at her. Lou actually smiled back. Although it was a small one, He'd take it. They sat in silence for a little bit. They arranged the bedrolls around the fire and Buck made sure Lou would be warm enough. Finally, Buck's curiosity got the better of him.

"Lou, you never answered my question. Why? Why did you ask all those questions? Especially about the man forcing himself on the woman. Did someone hurt you Lou?" Buck almost choked at the emotion in his last question.

"Well, Buck. Yes. Someone did hurt me. I was raped by the owner of a brothel. I worked there doing laundry and he decided it was time I started making him money. So, he came to my room, raped and beat me all night. It was my thirteenth birthday. One of the working girls gave me some money and got me out of there. That's when and why I became Lou and started being a boy." Lou spoke softly. Only Kid knew her secret. Now, Buck knew. She was much more comfortable telling Buck than she originally thought. Buck sat there across from Lou. Tears were slowly escaping from his eyes. He was devastated that something like that had happened to her. Not Lou.

"It's alright Buck. I guess you know now why I understood so much when you told us about what happened to your mother. I'm sorry Buck. Kid's just been real distant lately and I . . . I'm having a hard time with it." Lou reached her hand over and held onto Buck's for a few minutes. "Thanks for coming to find me Buck. I hadn't planned to be gone this long."

"Louise, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry about the Kid. Jimmy and I both tried to get him to open up, but he wouldn't. I'm here for you Louise. Both of you." Buck stood up and lifted Louise up into his arms for a hug. They hugged for several minutes in silence. When they broke apart, Lou wiped a tear from her cheek. They settled on their bedrolls and bid each other good night. Buck drifted into sleep with his heart aching. Lou thought about what all Buck had said. She drifted into fitful nightmares thinking what's love got to with it. What's love got to do with anything. Anything at all.

Kid noticed the sun coming up. He was sitting on the bed in Teresa's room. He had been laying in his and Lou's room, awake. Thinking. Praying. He heard a noise through the open door and got up. Pulling on his trousers, he left the room and stood in the hallway to listen. He heard it again. A stifled sob. Teresa. He went to her and pulled her into a hug. He had whispered "shh" and that "everything is going to be alright" multiple times during the night. Now, the sun was coming up. Kid hoped that Buck had found Lou and they were both alright. Teresa stirred under him. She lifted her head and hugged Kid.

"Thank you. I'm sorry if I am too much trouble. I just worry that one day she will leave again and not come back. I just get so scared. . ." Teresa said softly. Kid gently hugged her back and smoothed her hair.

"Teresa, you are no trouble. I understand why you are scared. Louise will be home soon. She can take care of herself. And you know Buck can find anything. Who do you think taught me and Jimmy and Cody. Come on and get dressed. We'll go have some breakfast and I am sure they will be home soon." Kid told Teresa softly. Teresa sat up. Kid got up and headed out of the room.

"Kid," Teresa called after him. Kid turned around and looked at her. "I love you." Kid smiled. Teresa was only 12. She hadn't experienced much in her short life but the little she had had left scars.

"I love you too sugarbear." Kid replied using Lou's pet name for the girl. He turned back around and headed for the kitchen. Louise and Buck rode in just as the breakfast dished were being cleared. Everyone hugged and make it known how much they had been worried. Kid hugged Lou for a long time. He shook Buck's hand and thanked him for everything. Buck smiled and let him know that it was nothing. Buck then let everyone know he was leaving to go hunting and may or may not be back by nightfall.

That night, Lou climbed into bed. Kid came in shortly after and stripped down to only his long john bottoms. He climbed into the bed and layed on his back. His left hand over his forehead. His right hand went to rest on his wife's hip.

"Lou. Louise. I'm sorry. I will never do that again and I will never ask for forgiveness. I just want you to know that I'm sorry." Kid said into the night. Lou rolled over to her other side and faced him. She put her hand on his chest. It was a start. And that was all she could give him right then. Kid accepted the gesture and knew that it was her way of telling him things would be okay.

The next day Buck returned with a glorious turkey already dressed and ready to cook. Rachel, Lou and Emily spent day the cooking. Thanksgiving dawned the next day. Around 2 o'clock, everyone at the Bar PXF Ranch gathered in the main house for dinner. Turkey, stuffing, green beans, potato salad, yams, succotash, and rolls were on the menu. For dessert, there was Rachel's famous chocolate cake, Lou had made an apple and a pumpkin pie and Emily had made a blackberry cobbler. After Teaspoon blessed the food, everyone ate and enjoyed their time together. After lunch, the men went and took a ride. Lou and the girls sat back and propped their feet up. The ladies enjoyed a cool glass of lemonade and gossiped. They all laughed and reveled in a day off. Life at the Bar PXF Ranch was getting back to normal.

Jimmy and Amanda had Thanksgiving with Celinda, Nathan, and Little Billy. Celinda and Amanda genuinely enjoyed each other's company. Celinda was happy Jimmy had found someone to love. . .and that loved him just as strong. Jimmy let Celinda know they would be returning to Rock Creek for Christmas but would like to stay with her until then. Celinda was thrilled.


	5. Holiday Celebrate?

**A/N: The same stuff. Don't own. Wishing I could own Buck Cross. For the Ranch Logo, Please see the Cover Image for the fanfiction. The graphic just didn't come across. **

**WARNING: Explicit Content and Subject Matter**

"You can turn this world around, And bring back all of those happy days, Put your troubles down, it's time to celebrate" Madonna

Chapter 4

Holiday . . . Celebrate?

Rock Creek, Nebraska

December 1861

Ike and Emily traveled to Denver for a honeymoon that Friday after Thanksgiving. They stayed a week and enjoyed theater and fine dining and great sex. Noah and Cassie had left the Monday after their wedding. They said they would write as soon as they got to California and got settled. Amanda had sent a letter stating that they had returned to Abilene without incident and had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Celinda, Nathan, and Little Billy. She sent a separate letter to Louise offering support and comfort if she needed any. She also enclosed that she and Jimmy were doing well and very happy and that they would be joining everyone for the Christmas holidays. Arriving on December 20 and staying until after the New Year.

Life at the Bar PXF Ranch was better than ever. Kid and Lou had moved into what was now called the 'Big House'. Teresa had been excited about decorating her own room. Jeremiah still refused to live anywhere but the bunkhouse. Louise had taken care to decorate the house to perfection. She wanted to live a simple life but that didn't mean she couldn't have a nice home. Kid had come around and was almost back to his old self. He and Lou had never spoken again of that night.

Jeremiah and Buck were as close as they could be considering their age difference. Buck considered Jeremiah a brother and had begun teaching him to track and hunt. Buck also had a great fondness for Teresa. He had taught her to make beads and jewelry and to sew hides and pelts to make things. Buck and Kid had both took time to teach the kids how to properly care for their mounts. Teresa wasn't allowed to ride without Lou, Kid, or Buck present. Jeremiah could ride borrowing a saddle. Louise always took time to do something special with each one each week. She and Teresa usually went on a picnic or since the weather was colder, they would have tea and sew or bake a cake together. Teresa had discovered Buck's sweet tooth and Kid's appetite for snacking. Teresa always made sure that there was a sweet or snack available while she was at school. Jeremiah and Lou always went for rides and had target practice. Lou would let Jeremiah use her gun since he didn't have his own yet. She planned on getting him one for his birthday in a couple of days. She had already picked it out and was waiting for the custom handle to be made with his initials on it: JCM; Jeremiah Christopher McCloud.

The day of Jeremiah's birthday arrived and work went on as usual. Louise went into town with Kid and Buck to pick up supplies. She picked out some new fabrics and asked for them to be placed with the rest of their order. She let Kid know she was going to get Jeremiah's present and the boys smiled. Lou came back a few minutes later carrying a package and had tears in her eyes. Buck saw her first and tapped Kid on the arm.

"Lou, is everything alright?" Buck asked as Kid came around him and pulled Lou into a hug. She nodded yes and hugged Kid and then Buck.

"Yes, it's just. I can't believe he's old enough for his own gun. Now he's going to strap it on and I don't want him to get into any trouble." Louise sniffed and took a breath. She knew that all of them had been about the same age or younger then Jeremiah when they strapped on their guns, but they had to. They didn't have a choice. Jeremiah did.

"I know Lou. But Jeremiah is a good kid. He's got a good head on his shoulders. Besides, he's never out usually without one of us." Kid tried to reassure Lou. She knew he spoke the truth. Buck smiled agreeing with Kid.

Once back at the ranch and after school, Louise and Teresa started cooking Jeremiah's favorite foods for dinner while Rachel worked on her famous chocolate cake. Buck and Kid kept Jeremiah busy for the afternoon. When Teaspoon arrived, they started putting up the tack and the stock. Soon the dinner bell rang out and they started heading for the big house.

The family sat down to a table full of heavenly smells. Roast chickens, mashed potatoes, honey carrots, green beans, fresh biscuits and lemonade. Everyone enjoyed the food and the cake, lemonade and coffee or milk. The family laughed and talked just like there wasn't a care in the world.

Once it time for presents, Jeremiah went from being a 16 year old man to a little boy in seconds. Teaspoon gave him a new hat. Rachel gave him a copy of "_The Last of the Mohicans_" which was one of Jeremiah's favorite novels. Buck gave him his own bow and a quiver full of arrows. Jeremiah couldn't wait to go with Buck to hunt for the main course for Christmas dinner. Teresa gave him a buckskin vest that she had sewn herself. Jeremiah was so proud of her accomplishment.

Louise teared up at the affection between them. When it was time for her and Kid's present, she got up to speak. She had to draw several deep breaths to calm herself before she was able to speak.

"On December 9th, 1846, I waited for our mother to give you life. I never knew how much sisters love their brothers until I held you for the first time. You were so strong. Even when things got tough and we left, you were never any trouble. Strong and brave. You always looked after me and Teresa. Now, I think you are strong enough and smart enough to look after yourself. This here is from the Kid and me and I . . . I . . . I just . . .want you to know. . . how proud I am of you. I love you Jeremiah." Louise could hardly contain the emotion. She was so overcome that the tears just flowed out of her eyes. Kid handed Jeremiah the packages. Buck handed Louise a handkerchief. Jeremiah opened the first package and pulled out a gun belt. He smiled and immediately put it on. He looked up at Kid and Louise and the smile on his face nearly reached his ears. He opened the second package and pulled out a Navy Colt .36 with a carved pearl handle that read 'JCM'. Jeremiah slowly ran his hands along the handle and the length of the barrel. He then quickly went over to Louise and pulled her into the tightest hug he had ever given her. He let his tears flow freely. He knew now that she respected him as a man, but more importantly, she trusted him. The sister and brother remained in their embrace for several minutes.

"I love you too Louise. I love you so much. I'm so sorry for the hurt I caused you when you didn't come back for us right away. I know now what all you have been through working for the express. The sacrifices you had to make to keep your promise for the three of us to be a family. Thank you. Thank you for everything." Jeremiah said as he hugged Louise. Lou continued to sob and after Jeremiah's touching words, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. When Jeremiah finally turned loose of Louise, he placed the gun in its holster. Jeremiah went around and hugged everyone and thanked them for giving him the best birthday he had ever had.

The next couple of weeks flew by. The work of a ranch doesn't stop for weekends or holidays. Kid and Buck went out and spent a few days on the prairie collecting more stock. They were able to get 2 more studs and 4 mares. All of them were fairly young so they could be trained and bred. They decided to start breeding around March.

"So, Kid. You seem to be back to your old self. I mean you don't seem so preoccupied with your thoughts. Everything okay?" Buck asked one evening after they had eaten and settled around the fire. Buck didn't want to pry but he was genuinely concerned about his brother. He figured he take this opportunity to talk with him since no one was around and they were on the trail.

"I guess so. Maybe. Hell, I don't know Buck." Kid said as he hung his head. He knew he needed to talk to someone. He couldn't make heads or tails of his thoughts, especially since that night. "I thought I knew what I wanted. You know out of life. I thought I had it all figured out. But now, I'm just not so sure. I thought I could live here and marry Lou. Build a future with the ranch and all of you. Now though . . ."

"What makes you think you can't. I mean, you already got the girl. You have a beautiful wife. A wonderful home. Family surrounding you to help with anything. What else do you need?" Buck asked. He truly could not understand. Lou was an amazing woman. She was beautiful and he didn't know for himself but he was pretty sure she knew how to keep Kid happy and warm at night. She had learned to cook and had assumed most of the responsibilities of being a 'real' lady. He had Jeremiah and Teresa who were great kids. They loved everyone and only asked to be loved. The ranch was doing well. His home was finished and was a fine ranch house. But most importantly, they were all a family. They were closer than any family could possibly be. What more could any man ask for.

"Buck, what I am about tell you, nobody knows. Not Teaspoon. Not Jimmy. Not even Lou." Kid ran his hand thru his hair. He didn't realize just how much he had been bothered. Until now. "You're right Buck. I do have a great life. It's just. . .I can't help but feel like I let my family down. Not you all. My family in Virginia. My grandfather owned land in Virginia. He had a nice home spread, no plantation or anything. We didn't have slaves or anything. Our neighbors did. They had fine plantations and farms. It's in my blood. Virginia is in my blood. When Lou and I got married, I thought I could forget about the war and just shut that door on my past. But . . . now . . . it's . . . I've been thinking about goin'. Goin' to Virginia and fighting. That's why I wanted Lou. . . you know if Lou was pregnant, I would have a reason to stay." Kid looked from Buck to the fire. When he looked back up at Buck, He was surprised by the look on Bucks face.

Buck couldn't hide the anger. How could Kid be serious. How could he think of leaving Lou to go and fight in a war that was hundreds of miles away. He understood fighting for your home, but this was Kid's home now. Here with Lou and them.

"Buck, it has nothing to do with slavery and all that. You know I don't hold to that. I just believe everyone has a right to be heard. And it's not fair for the north states to vote and have more say just because they have more people. The southern states should have just as much say." Kid rushed out. Buck now knew that Kid had given this a lot of thought. But what did Lou having a baby have anything to do with it. Why didn't he want to stay for Lou. Why was loving her not enough; not enough reason to stay.

"Kid, I understand fightin' for your home. I understand fightin' for what's right. What I can't understand is how your wife and family aren't reason enough to stay. Even if Lou isn't pregnant. But what if she is. Do think you wouldn't resent that child. A baby that in your eyes was only created to keep you here. How would you ever explain to that child that he or she was only created to keep you at home. And how do you think Lou would feel; knowing that she wasn't enough for you. Answer me Kid!" Buck was shouting now. He didn't care. He wanted to know how Kid could ever think about this. Buck knew what it was like to be resented and not cared for because of something you had no control over.

Kid never thought about any of that. All he had been consumed with was rather or not he should go. What if Lou was pregnant? She had been acting strange lately. More tired than normal, over emotional. Could he get over the fact that he wasn't really ready to be a father either and that one night that he didn't even remember could have resulted in a new life. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. Now if Lou was carrying his child, he couldn't leave. He would have to stay. He would have to make sure his child was taken care of. Now he realized that the choice may have been made for him and that he wasn't sure he liked it.

"Buck, you're. . .you're right. I didn't think about any of that. I've been selfish. If Lou is. . . pregnant. . . it would be from the night after the saloon. I did something horrible that night. I don't even remember it. Things have gotten better between us though. Buck, I promise. If Lou is pregnant, that baby will never know. Never know that they were any thing other than loved and wanted. I promise." Kid said to Buck. Buck was taken aback. What did Kid mean 'I did something horrible'? Also, Buck now realized that he knew what Kid had meant that night when he said something about a reason to stay.

"What did you do Kid?" Buck asked. He had a tone to his voice that said he wasn't playing. Kid looked at Buck. He didn't want to talk about it. Hell, he couldn't even remember it. All he knew was what Lou told him.

"I would rather not talk about it. Lou and I are moving past it so I would rather put it behind us." Kid said to Buck. Kid hoped that Buck would drop it. Buck just took a deep breath and went towards his bedroll. "Thanks Buck. For everything." Kid went to his bedroll and layed down. Sleep was elusive for them both: Kid was thinking about all that had been said between him and Buck; Buck wondering what had happened between Lou and Kid. The day after the night in question had been when Lou had run out.

Kid and Buck had been gone for three days. Louise had cleaned the entire house from top to bottom. She had rearranged the navy blue settee and light blue accent chairs twice. Not to mention the side tables. The pictures on the mantle of her and Kid's wedding day, Teresa, Jeremiah, a copy of the drawing Ike did of the riders before the dance, a picture of Lou's mother, and a copy of picture Ike had drawn of the Sweetwater station had been dusted and re-organized. . . three times. The navy blue curtains with white lace trim had been dusted and pulled back. The dining room table had a white lace runner and a bowl of fruit in the middle. The fire place had been cleaned and all the lanterns filled. Lou had even soaped the hardwood floors. Upstairs, she helped Teresa put up the pale pink curtains with white lace trim. They had made several pillows to go on the window seat. Rachel had made her a pale pink, white and yellow bedspread. She had a beautiful vanity that Kid had built and Buck had carved flowers and horses into the drawers and sides of the mirror. Teresa had arranged her brush and comb on the vanity. Her closet was full of the latest fashions and some everyday work wear. She had a chest of drawers that matched the vanity made and carved by two of the men she admired most. The chest was full of frilly camisoles, pantalettes, and nightgowns. Teresa even had her own wash stand with a matching pitcher and basin. Louise made sure that Teresa could be a girl.

Lou had even scrubbed down the master bedroom. The lavender curtains had been dusted and re-hung. The wedding ring quilt that Emma had made for Kid and Lou for their wedding was folded neatly on the quilt stand in the corner. Their old express trunks sat at the foot of their bed. A beautiful lavender quilt with blue and yellow flowers laid atop their bed. Kid had built the bed and had carved the horses into the woodwork himself. The matching vanity and two chest of drawers, wardrobe, and wash stand rounded out the room. The closet housed Lou's fancy dresses and Kids' suits. Kids shaving kit and combs sat atop his chest of drawers which housed his work shirts, work pants, and long johns. An ornate jewelry box that Buck had made for her sat atop hers which housed her camisoles, pantalettes, night gowns, and work shirts and pants. Lou's brush, comb, and make up set atop the vanity.

Louise made sure the guest rooms were spotless as well. The house had three other bedrooms. A smaller room that could be used as a nursery. That room was still empty. The other two bedrooms were decorated similarly. They both had nice large beds that had navy and light blue quilts respectively. They both had curtains that matched the quilts. Each room had a vanity, wardrobe, and a chest of drawers. Each room had an old express trunk at the end of the bed. One belonged to Jimmy. The other belonged to Cody.

Downstairs the kitchen was cleaned everyday so she didn't worry about it too much. Louise did make sure the navy blue with light green threading were dusted and pulled back. There were two large oak desks in the room and the walls were lined with books on bookshelves. There was a large safe that was hidden in the wall behind a painting over the fireplace. The painting was of the Bar PXF property. The only ones who knew the combination to the safe were Buck and Kid.

Kid and Buck came back on the fifth day. Kid was shocked by all the work that Louise had done. He and Buck took care of the new horses and showed off their hard work with pride. Louise announced at dinner that Jimmy and Amanda would be there in a couple of days. Jeremiah gave a rundown of all the happenings at the ranch since Kid and Buck had been gone. Ike and Jeremiah had held down the fort and kept things up to par. Once retired to the bunkhouse for the night, Buck knew something was wrong with Jeremiah.

"Jeremiah, everything okay. Are you alright?" Buck asked as they got ready for bed. Buck noticed that the young man was unusually quiet.

"Yea, I'm okay. I just wish I knew what was wrong with Louise." Jeremiah said as he climbed under the covers of his bunk. "She's just not been herself lately."

"Oh I'm sure everything is fine. You'll see." Buck said with a smile. He wasn't sure who he was trying to tell that to; himself or Jeremiah. Buck climbed under the covers of his bunk and grabbed his medicine pouch around his neck. He silently prayed to the Great Spirit for all to be right.

Sure enough Jimmy and Amanda arrived two days later. Hugs were all around. This time, however, Jimmy and Amanda shared one of the guest rooms at the Big House. The next day, Jimmy and Kid went out and gathered a tree. Louise and Amanda made popcorn. Rachel had brought over some berries the day before to lay out and dry. The following day, Buck let everyone know at breakfast that he and Jeremiah were headed out to hunt for Christmas dinner. He said they would be back by supper the next day at the latest. Jeremiah couldn't believe that he was getting to go hunting . . . with his new bow and arrows . . . with Buck. Louise held onto Jeremiah a little tighter and longer than he liked. She also held onto Buck. She made him promise to be careful and for both of them to come home safely. She handed them both package of food and kissed them on the cheek. Buck felt fire on his cheek. Her lips burned against his skin; he liked it. They had kissed each other many times on the cheek, he had even kissed her hand as a gentleman, and they had hugged but the fire that was there had never happened before.

The ladies got started on the bread and pie shells. The men looked after the stock and then all headed to the jail to keep Teaspoon company. Louise managed to finish sewing the last of the gifts she was making. The ladies decided since they would be cooking the next couple of days that they would go eat at the hotel restaurant. They got dressed and headed towards the hotel.

"Well, would you look at that." Teaspoon said to the boys.

"What." Jimmy replied as they all looked up. Coming down the street in their beautiful dresses were Rachel, Amanda, Louise, Emily, and Teresa. They were arm in arm and laughing like school girls. The boys all picked up their mouths and filed out the door. Each one smiled as they looked at their leading lady. Jimmy and Kid started whistling at them. The boys all filed out into the street to intercept the girls.

"Why Ms. Dunne, Just where are you going with these fine ladies on this lovely evening?" Teaspoon asked as he tipped his hat.

"Why Marshall Hunter, we were just working our fingers to the bone and decided dinner in town sounded mighty fine. Too bad we don't have any handsome men that could accompany us and provide some . . . uh . . . shall we say sweet thoughts." Rachel replied very coyly at Teaspoon.

"Well, ladies, you've come to the right place. We are the owners and proprietors of the Bar PXF Ranch here in Rock Creek and would love to accompany such beauty to a nice dinner." Teaspoon said. He then reached in and took Rachel's arm and looped it thru his. Kid took off his hat and bowed to Louise who giggled and reached out her hand. He gently kissed the second knuckle and looped her arm thru his. Ike took of his hat and reached for Emily's hand. He pulled her close and gently brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. He leaned down and kissed her gently. Emily blushed and touched her lips softly. Then, he looped her arm thru his. Jimmy stood in front of Amanda. He took her hand and twirled her around. He then pulled her to him and they swayed to the music that only they could hear. After just a few moments, Jimmy kissed her hands and looped her arm thru his. Teresa stood off to the side. She had a sad frown on her face. She had enjoyed all the men making a fuss over their women, but she was just a girl. No one to fuss over her.

"Who get's to be my date?" Teresa asked. All the adults suddenly realized that she was still there. Jimmy rebounded first and reached over to grab her hand.

"Why, Miss, I do believe that I should have to pleasure of your company since I am the most famous of the group." Jimmy said as he kissed her hand. He looked up at Teresa and winked. Teresa giggled.

"I think you meant notorious Jimmy. Besides, she's my girl. Just like her sister." Kid said reaching over and taking her hand from Jimmy. Jimmy tried his best to look hurt. Kid also kissed the back of her hand. Teresa was tickled again. Ike thumped his chest 3 times to get their attention.

"I do believe it would be my honor to escort the two most beautiful ladies in town to dinner." Ike signed. He took Teresa's hand and kissed it as well. Jimmy and Kid acted shocked and appalled by what Ike had said.

"Actually, boys, this dinner date belongs to the grandparents. Teresa. Rachel." Teaspoon took Teresa's arm in his other and they were off to the hotel. They left the three other couples standing there amused and shocked. Jimmy looked over at Ike and Kid.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" Jimmy asked group. They all looked at each other. Could it be?

"Uhm, I think so. Looks like Rachel and Teaspoon have gone a courtin'." Kid said. The group laughed and headed over to the restaurant. They spent the evening laughing and enjoyed a great meal. After dinner and dessert, Teaspoon said he would escort Teresa and Rachel home. The three couples bid each other goodnight and went off their separate ways. Each group walked under the stars before heading home. Kid and Lou sat on their porch in the swing for a little bit. Lou had her head resting in Kid's lap. They had bid Teaspoon and Rachel goodnight when they arrived at the Big House. Teaspoon and Rachel had then headed for the Main House . . . their night together.

Kid realized that Louise was asleep in his lap. He gently picked her up and carried her to their bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and then stepped back out. He made his way downstairs and realized that Jimmy and Amanda had made their way back to the house and were sitting in the swing. Kid turned down the lanterns and headed back upstairs. He stopped and looked in on Teresa who was sound asleep in bed. He returned to the master bedroom and shut the door behind him. He walked into the room and then realized that Lou was not in bed. Before he could turn around he heard the lock click and their bedroom door. A slow smile crept across his face. They had only been intimate a couple of time since that fateful night and it was very uncomfortable. This time, Lou stepped up behind him and reached around and started unbuttoning his shirt. Her fingers making slow work of the buttons while she pressed herself into his back. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, she pulled his shirt off and then pulled his long john top over his head. She slowly ran her fingertips down his strong chiseled pecks and abdomen. When she reached the front of his pants, she heard a sharp intake of breath. She reached for the buckle on his belt and loosened it. Then, she undid the button closure and slid her hand down into his pants. She pressed herself against his back again and he realized this time that she was already naked. His right hand reached around and rubbed her hip. She took hold of his rock hard member and stroked it a few times. She kept her hand wrapped around it as she slowly slid across him to face him. She reached up and pulled his mouth to hers. The kiss was slow at first; passionate. Then the passion turned to lust and the kisses became aggressive. Kid picked her up and wrapped her legs around him. He carried her over to the bed and slowly lowered her down. She was sitting on their bed with her legs spread and Kid standing in the middle. As he kicked free of his boots, Lou pushed his pants down. Kid pulled them the rest of the way off and as he stood all the way back up, Louise plunged her mouth down on his maleness. Kid had to fight hard to stay hard and not blow his load right then. Kid put his hands on Lou's head and encouraged her further. Lou licked and sucked and bobbed her head causing him to slide in and out of her mouth. She started to roll his balls in her hand while she took him deep in her throat. Lou knew he was getting close by the bucking of his hips. With a strangled moan, Kid released in Lou's mouth and she took it all and swallowed with a contented "Mmmmmm".

Kid dropped to his knees; his legs weak from the orgasm. He lifted Lou's feet draped them over his shoulders. He feverishly kissed her inner thighs and slipped two fingers into her wetness. He heard her moan and gasp. Kid then slowly licked her outer lips and while rotating his fingers inside her and then pulling the tips toward him. Lou was breathing heavily; her head thrashing back and forth. He began licking and sucking at her pleasure, slowly at first. Single licks. Then he starting flicking his tongue with need, hunger. Louise stifled a scream as she climaxed with such force she thought she might black out. As she got her breathing under control, Kid took her legs off his shoulders and stood up. He grabbed her by the hips and flipped her over. She scooted over on the bed as he climbed up and stood on his knees. He lifted her onto her knees and pushed her upper back down to the mattress. Without warning he slammed his raging hardness into her wet core. Louise was face down on the bed gripping the side of the mattress; moaning and gasping into the mattress. The angle caused supreme feelings into her already overly sensitive g-spot. As Kid pumped faster and harder, Louise came again. And again. Finally Kid came with such force he was exhausted. As he slowed his breathing he pulled her to him and they moved to lay on the bed the right way and fell into a contented sleep.

Meanwhile, down the hall, Jimmy and Amanda were slowly kissing their way down the hall. As they passed Kid and Lou's room, they heard muffled groans and Jimmy smiled to himself. He was glad Kid had worked through whatever had been bothering him. They reached their room, closed and locked the door. Jimmy couldn't get his clothes off fast enough. Amanda was also frantically pulling her dress off. Finally she was down to her pantalettes, corset and camisole. Jimmy approached her and kissed her aggressively. He backed her up to the wall and reached down to relieve her of her pantalettes. As he stood up, he picked her up and wrapped her legs around him. He slid her down on his extremely engorged member as she hissed in pleasure. He didn't even bother with her corset or camisole. He began thrusting into her in a frenzied pace. Faster. Harder. Amanda had her arms wrapped around Jimmy's neck as she moaned into his ear. This only drove him wild. Amanda climaxed in a spectacular orgasm followed very soon by Jimmy. Jimmy carried her over to the bed and they laid down together. Soon they were both sleeping, more than satisfied.

Over at the Main House, Teaspoon had accompanied Rachel into the house. Teaspoon leaned in to kiss Rachel softly on the lips. Rachel pulled him in and passionately returned the kiss. When they came up for air, Rachel turned and headed up the stairs. Half way up, she turned and looked at Teaspoon. Giving him a wink, she continued up the stairs to her room. Teaspoon ran his thumbs up and down under his suspenders and locked up the house. He headed up the stairs and down the hall to Rachel's room where the door was open. He went in and shut the door behind him, looking at the angel before him in a pale pink nightgown. He crossed the room and took her into his arms. That night was not the first time for either of them, but it was the first time for the two of them. The two laughed and loved all night and woke up the next morning feeling better than they had in years. Knowing that after last night, neither would be alone again.

Buck and Jeremiah returned the next afternoon, Christmas Eve. They returned with a fourteen point buck and eight large pheasants. All were field dressed and ready to be brined. Jeremiah couldn't stop smiling and gave the whole story over an early dinner of fried chicken, green beans, corn and biscuits. Teresa had made a batch of snickerdoodles, Buck's personal favorite, and brought them in after letting them warm up on the stove. She also made the adults coffee and poured her and Jeremiah a glass of milk. She carried it all in on a tray and served her dessert with pride. Buck let out a long, loud "MMMMMMMM" after tasting the cookies. He complimented the chef and enjoyed the rest of Jeremiah's story about their hunting trip. Buck had taught Jeremiah to track the deer and properly shoot and clean it. After that they happened upon the pheasants.

Lou started making popcorn while Emily got out the needle and thread. Rachel brought over the dried berries and her and Teresa settled in on the settee to begin stringing the popcorn and berries. Louise excused herself to finish wrapping a few gifts. Kid, Buck, Ike, and Jimmy went to bunkhouse for a few games of cards. To Jeremiah's surprise they invited him, which he quickly accepted and headed out the door with them. Once the strings were finished, they called the boys back to the Big House. Buck and Jeremiah noted that Teaspoon's stuff had been moved out of the bunkhouse and got the scoop from Ike, Jimmy and the Kid about Teaspoon and Rachel. Everyone gathered around while Teresa and Lou decorated the tree with the popcorn and berry stings. Lou then brought out the wrapped gifts and put them under the tree. Emily told them all about decorating her first Christmas tree with Ike. Everyone gathered around while Rachel served hot cocoa and listened to Teaspoon tell the story of the nativity. After, everyone retired to their respective houses agreeing to meet back together about one o'clock for a Christmas lunch, presents, and then the big dinner.

After everyone went to bed that night, Kid put two new saddles under the tree. One was a deep brown for Jeremiah and the other was a chestnut brown a swirled design around the edges for Teresa. Even though Louise knew the "kids" were too old for Santa, she wanted them to have the experience. Kid and Lou sat for little while on the settee enjoying the last of the dying fire. This was their first Christmas. Kid realized Louise was asleep and carried her upstairs to their bedroom. Kid heard a muffled moan and smiled knowing that Jimmy and Amanda were enjoying each other's company. He also thought back to the other night between him and Louise. It was like old times.

The next morning, Kid awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs and coffee. Smiling he figured Lou was up and had started for the day. He moved to get up and realized that an arm was draped around his waist. He looked down to see that his wife was still snuggled up against him, fast asleep. He wondered who was up. He slowly moved from underneath Lou's arm and pulled on his pants and a shirt. He made his way downstairs and peered around the corner to see Amanda cooking breakfast.

"Mornin'." Kid said as he rounded the corner.

"Good mornin' Kid. Sleep well?" Amanda asked as she poured him a cup of coffee and handed it to him. He gladly accepted the steaming cup and sat down at the table.

"Mornin' Kid." Jimmy said as come around the corner into the dining room. He crossed into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Amanda's waist. "A very good morning to you babe."

Amanda giggled and handed Jimmy a steaming cup of coffee. Jimmy took the cup in one hand and tilted her chin up to meet his lips with the other. He turned and went to sit down with Kid. They slowly drank their coffee while Amanda fixed them a plate.

"Lou not up yet. She used to beat all of us awake and out to the barn." Jimmy asked Kid. Kid and Jimmy started eating.

"Nope. She was still fast asleep when I got up and got dressed. Teresa too. Or else you would have heard her scream over the gift that Santa brought her." Kid replied. Jimmy chuckled and exchanged a smile with Amanda. Both of them knew of the saddles and he seen them on their way down the stairs.

"Mornin'." Lou said sleepily. She walked into the dining room and saw the breakfast and coffee. Her eyes went wide and tears could be seen threatening to spill out. "Amanda, I'm so . . . I'm so sorry I overslept. I . . . can't believe this. Thank you for making breakfast. I . . . I'm so ashamed." With that she high tailed it back up the stairs.

"Lou, Louise! Oh, Kid, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset her. I just knew she had been working so hard and needed some rest." Amanda said as Kid rose out of his chair. Jimmy motioned for her to come over to him, so she did and sat down next to Jimmy.

"Amanda it's fine. You didn't do anything. Thank you for breakfast. It was delicious." Kid said. He turned and walked up the stairs. He entered their bedroom to find Lou laying down on the bed, the covers up over her head. Kid pulled up the chair and slowly pulled back the covers to reveal his wife's face with tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Lou, what's going on? You've never acted like that before. Amanda just wanted you to get some rest. And I agree with her. You've been working yourself sick." Kid said softly. He took her hand in his and gently kissed it.

"I'm sorry Kid. I'm alright. Stop fussin' over me." Lou sat up and went over to the wash basin. She washed her face and felt hands come to rest on her shoulders. Kid whispered into her ear that he loved her and they went back downstairs. They found Amanda cleaning up the kitchen and placing the extra food on the stove top to keep warm. Kid kissed the top of his wife's head and headed out the door to help with morning chores.

"Amanda, I'm so sorry about earlier. I just didn't want you to have to worry about anything since you and Jimmy are our guests. Thank you for thinking of us all this morning." Louise said as she came to hug Amanda. Amanda embraced her as well.

"Oh Louise! We are so thankful for you and Kid letting us stay with you all. But, we are not guests. We are family. We have to help each other if this ranch is going to work." Amanda replied smiling. Lou smiled back.

"So, I take it you and Jimmy are _that _serious?" Louise asked slyly.

"Uhm . . . yes. Actually. I am hoping for a ring soon." Amanda was giddy with hope and excitement.

"So you would be willing to move from Abilene to here and live on the ranch? Or is Jimmy going to sell his share and move to Abilene permanently?" Lou asked. The worry was growing in her. She suddenly felt panicked. "I know you have the saloon and Jimmy's sister is there. I would miss you all terribly if you weren't here."

"Well, honestly Louise, this ranch is Jimmy's dream. He has told Celinda that this is his home and as much as he is excited that they are getting close again, this is where he wants to be. We haven't really talked about the details, but I am listening for offers to buy the saloon. I can always give the Wild Horse a run for it's money here in Rock Creek." Amanda said winking and smiling. Louise rushed into Amanda's arms and hugged her again.

"Oh! I can't wait!" Louise squealed. Just as they were pulling apart, the back door opened and in filed the boys. Kid, Jimmy, Buck, and Jeremiah all filed in. They had stopped at the wash bucket and cleaned up their hands and faces. Buck and Jeremiah sat down with a plate of breakfast and the rest sat down with coffee. They were all enjoying the company when a scream startled them. The men all jumped up and ran towards the living room with the ladies close on their heels. They stopped in the foyer when they saw Teresa jumping up and down and she screamed again. All the boys grimaced at the high pitch. Once the girls realized that Teresa had found her gift from Santa, and that was the cause of the scream, they all burst into laughter.

"Look! Look! Look Jeremiah! Santa came and brought us saddles. Now we can ride with our own gear. Look!" Teresa ran over and grabbed her saddle and pulled it into her lap. She traced the swirly design. Jeremiah walked around the settee and looked down at the other saddle. He sat down and pulled the saddle into his lap. He ran his fingers over the shiny leather slowly. He looked up at Lou and then to Kid. Kid had come up behind Lou and held her around the waist. Jimmy had Amanda the same way. Buck had his arm propped on the doorway, smiling. All the adults were smiling. Lou nodded at Jeremiah acknowledging the saddle was his. Tears slipped from behind Jeremiah's eyes. Louise couldn't have asked for a better Christmas morning. The family spent a little while in the living room. Jeremiah and Teresa still couldn't believe that this was real. They were a family. A real family. They had just had their first ever real Christmas morning that either could remember.

Louise and Amanda got up and left the boys with Teresa in the living room. They began to prepare their Christmas lunch. They had venison steaks with roasted potatoes, honey carrots, and corn. Louise had made a pitcher of tea. Around twelve thirty, everyone started to arrive at the Big House. Ike and Emily came in with Ike bringing in the gifts. Emily had baked a blackberry cobbler and some spotted pup pudding for some dessert. She had also made some potato salad for that evening and some cornbread for lunch. Kid took the potato salad out to the cellar to keep it cool.

Teaspoon and Rachel came in baring gifts and food as well. Rachel brought in an apple cake and a chocolate cake. She also brought in the stuffing for the dinner and Buck took it down to the cellar until time to put it in the oven, along with the cranberry relish. Teaspoon went into the family room with Ike to sit the presents down. Teresa and Jeremiah quickly took Ike and Teaspoon over to see their new saddles. Once everyone was in the house and settled, Louise called everyone to the table to eat lunch.

Lunch was enjoyed by everyone and once the dishes were cleared, Louise pulled her rhubarb pie out of the oven and sat it in the pie safe with the cobbler and cakes to rest until after supper. Everyone enjoyed Emily's spotted pup pudding which, as it turns out, was like a rice pudding. They had even gotten into Rachel's apple cake as well.

Everyone settled into the family room and the presents began. All the ladies received rabbit fur muffs from Buck. Buck gave Jeremiah a special rack to keep his bow and arrows and any guns he may acquire. He gave Teresa several beaded braid wraps for her hair. Ike and Emily gave all the ladies, including Teresa, their favorite bath water. Teaspoon and Rachel gave all the ladies, including Teresa, and Jeremiah a new novel to read. Buck, Ike, Emily, Kid, Lou, Jimmy, and Amanda had gone it together to get Teaspoon a new gold pocket watch that had the Bar PXF Ranch Trademark on the front:

PX  
F

** Bar PXF Ranch Est. 1861**

and was engraved with

"Aloysius "Teaspoon" Hunter

Father, Mentor, Friend

With Love and Admiration,

The Boys and Girl, 1861"

Teaspoon was moved to tears and soon there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Jimmy and Amanda gave all the ladies, including Teresa, new riding gloves. Unbeknownst to Lou, Kid, Jimmy and Amanda, Ike and Emily, and Teaspoon and Rachel had gone in together and gave Jeremiah a rifle with a custom stock. The stock had the Bar PXF Ranch Trademark and his initials, JCM, carved into both sides. Jeremiah couldn't believe it. Louise understood and knew that they all realized what a fine young man Jeremiah was becoming. Buck had told them all how well Jeremiah had handled himself hunting and that was the inspiration for the rifle. Kid and Lou gave Amanda, Rachel, and Emily pink lace shawls.

Louise then instructed Jeremiah to hand out the large wrapped packages. There was one for Kid, Jeremiah, Buck, Jimmy, Ike, and Teaspoon. Louise instructed them to open them all at the same time. The boys were intrigued as Jeremiah handed each package to its rightful owner. Once they were all settled each man opened his gift. A collective gasp went thru the living room as they gazed upon the gift. Each man had been given a new saddle blanket that was a creamed coffee color with a blue stripe going around it. What got their attention was the stitch work. Each blanket had the Bar PXF Ranch Trademark in upper left and lower right corners. The other corners, however, had been personalized. Kid's blanket had the initials, ARK V with the name 'Kid' under it, on the upper right corner and a horse on the lower left corner. Buck's blanket had his initials, RBC (Running Buck Cross), on the upper right corner and a picture of a running buck on the lower left corner. Jimmy's blanket had his initials, JBH, on the upper right corner and a matched pair of pistols on the lower left. Ike's blanket had his initials, IMM, on the upper right corner and a horse on the lower left corner. Jeremiah's blanket had his initials, JCM, on the upper right corner and a horse on the lower left corner. Teaspoon's blanket had his initials, ATH, on the upper right corner and marshal's star with cross handled teaspoons underneath the star. All the men were speechless. The ladies were amazed at the thoughtfulness.

"Lou. . .uh, . . . uhm. . .Louise. No one has ever given me anything so beautiful before. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you." Buck said as he choked back tears. He stood up and grabbed Lou into the biggest hug he had ever given her. Jeremiah was next to hug her. Then, Teaspoon, Ike, and Jimmy. They all hugged her a little longer than necessary. They all now knew what each other meant to the others. They had known before. This was different. They didn't have to be a family, but they were.

Kid was the last to stand up. He held the blanket to himself as reached for Lou. When he finally had her in his arms, he put the blanket down. He looked at her. He couldn't believe that this woman loved him. Loved him as much as she did. After everything. Before Kid had a chance to embrace his wife, Louise spoke.

"Kid, I have one more present for you as well." Louise said. Kid looked her in the eyes and couldn't believe there was more. "I'm pregnant. We're gonna have a little one in about 7 months."

Kid couldn't believe what he had just heard. He was going to be a father. Louise was having his baby. A piece of him and her was growing inside of Lou right then. Now it all made sense. The fatigue, the emotions, it all made sense now. Kid let a smile slowly take over his face. All the ladies gasp and giggled. The men all had smiles on their faces.

"Lou, I'm so happy right now. I couldn't ask for anything better than this moment. I love you so much." Kid said as he pulled her into his embrace. Once again there wasn't a dry eye in the living room. As they all settled back down, Louise told of her excursion to Doc Miller the other day to discover the good news. Buck and Kid briefly exchanged a glance and smiled at each other.

Teresa and Jeremiah both fell asleep curled up on the floor. The men went out and sat on the porch while the ladies gossiped and fawned over the mommy-to-be. At supper time, the family gathered around the table. The feast before them included the eight roasted pheasants, mashed potatoes, potato salad, fresh green beans, fresh peas, stuffing, cranberry relish and tea. Teaspoon stood and offered the blessing.

"Our dear Lord, we come together today to celebrate the birth of your son Christ Jesus. We come together to celebrate family. This year you have blessed the people at this table with so much more than is deserved. The family gathered here are the most important people in my life and to each other. We ask that you watch over those of our family who are not here to share this day with us. We continue to praise you and ask for this food to bless us with nourishment for our bodies so that we may serve you. In the name of Jesus, Amen." Teaspoon spoke. The family dug into their meal. The air was light, the food delicious, the conversation was enjoyable, and the company was family. After dessert, the ladies cleaned away the dishes and everyone got ready to go to their respective houses.

The rest of the week passed quickly. Jeremiah and Teresa both tried out their new saddles. The men all took extra care with their new saddle blankets. Their mounts looking majestic with the matching logos and colors. Amanda shared with the girls that she was disappointed that she didn't get a ring but was still hopeful. Emily revealed that she and Ike had discussed children and decided to wait a while. They were taking measures to prevent children right now. Amanda said the same, especially since they were not married. Louise said that she had not wanted a baby so soon, but now that it had happened, she was excited. Louise also revealed that she was working on a surprise for the ladies as well. The ladies remained busy the rest of the week and the group rang in the New Year, 1862, at the ranch with cards and whiskey. Jimmy and Amanda left to return to Abilene a few days later.

Rachel and Teresa went back to school as teacher and student, respectively. Jeremiah had mounted his new shelf above his bunk and placed his rifle in the hooks, his bow in its place, his quiver and arrows hung on the other side, and boxes of ammunition and powder in the drawers at the bottom of the rack. His gun belt hung on the pegs by the door with his coat and hat; just like Buck's.

Kid went into town and commissioned the blacksmith to make the new ranch trademark into a branding iron, an entrance sign, and a hanger to go on each house, the barn, and the bunkhouse. While in town he picked up the mail. In the mail there was a letter for a horse trade show and a letter from Amanda saying they had made it back safely and how much they enjoyed the holiday. Kid walked over to the marshal's office to invite Teaspoon to lunch. While the pair walked to the little café down the street, Teaspoon asked Kid about the baby.

"So, Kid, you're about to be a father. How do you feel about all that." Teaspoon asked while they sat down.

"I think it's great Teaspoon. I mean, I know Lou really didn't want to have a baby right now, but I think it's great." Kid replied. He tried to be genuine. He truly was happy about the baby; he just couldn't shake the feeling of being selfish. After all, he had selfishly taken his wife that night after coming home blind drunk. Hell, he couldn't even remember that. He had selfishly told her this is what he wanted so he would have a reason to fight the pull of Virginia. He had selfishly wanted to answer that pull and go back to Virginia. He was selfish that he would turn his back on the woman he loved, the family he had, the life they had built to fight in a war that was justified politically in that all states deserved equal representation, but socially was unjust and cruel; the fact that people of any color would own and enslave other people of any color was horribly wrong and should be illegal. Those were his beliefs. Virginia was in his blood. He still knew people there.

The decision to stay in Rock Creek however had been made, whether he liked it or not. He was going to be a father and he would never, never put his child through what he had gone thru. That was a promise. The conversation he had with Buck had replayed through his mind like a broken record. So, from now on, he would be happy. Happy here in Rock Creek. Happy with Louise and the kids and now his baby. Happy with the family that was around him.

"Are you trying to convince me of that? Or you?" Teaspoon asked while they started eating. Teaspoon had noticed that Kid had had a lot on his mind, even before the announcement of the pregnancy. Kid looked up but remained silent.

"Kid, things are going to change now. And there's nothin' you can do to stop them. So, either be happy and accepting. Or be miserable. Just be careful which one you choose. It's not always you that is affected by your choice." Teaspoon said. He then changed the subject.


	6. My Best Friend's Wedding

**A/N: The usual disclaimers. WARNING: Explicit Content and Subject Matter. A very special Thank You to Pilarcita and MsSilentHorse for their support and encouragement. Thank you to everyone who has read and/or reviewed. I greatly appreciate it. I sincerely hope you are enjoying the read.**

". . . if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud." Michael O'Neil, My Best Friend's Wedding

Chapter 5

My Best Friend's Wedding

Abilene, Kansas

March 1862

The last few months had been going well at the Bar PXF. The blacksmith had finished the logos. The Main House, The Big House, The Manor (Ike and Emily's house), The Bunkhouse, and The Barn all had their logo mounted to the front of the house. The main entrance gate to the ranch had a large logo mounted on the front. The branding irons were small since only the horses they intended to keep would be branded. The horses would be branded on the hindquarters. Kid, Buck and Ike had all gone to the auction in Seneca in February. They took twenty head and came back with three new mares, two studs, and enough money in the bank that meant their stock sold for almost quadruple the bid prices due to the quality of the horse. They had even met a few ranchers that were interested in doing private business with the Bar PXF. They boys were thrilled and stopped by Abilene and surprised Jimmy and Amanda. The boys walked into the The Silver Spoon the evening they rode in and approached the bar asking for whiskey. Amanda had turned around and squealed at the smiling faces of her friends. After she hugged them she poured them all a drink. Buck caught sight of a ring on Amanda's left hand. He reached out and took her hand and admired the gold band with a diamond on top. Buck cracked his trademark lopsided grin and told Amanda that Jimmy had done good. The group all hugged again and Amanda revealed that Jimmy had asked her on Valentine's Day after a romantic dinner and walk under the stars. Amanda let the boys know that Jimmy should be coming in any minute. They decided to sit and play a couple of games of cards amongst themselves to wait for Jimmy. Sure enough about twenty minutes later Jimmy came strolling through the door. He went to the bar and kissed his fiancé. They spoke for minute until Amanda revealed that she had some unsavory characters playing cards at table six and asked him to assess the situation. Jimmy downed a shot of whiskey and headed over to the table. Amanda grinned to herself.

"Mind if I sit in?" Jimmy asked and pulled out a chair. He hadn't even looked at the men at the table. He didn't care. No one was going to make trouble if he was there. No one.

"Sure. Games five card draw. Nothing wild." Kid said with a grin. Jimmy jerked his head up and laughed. He was looking at the faces of his brothers. Amanda had got him good. The boys filled Jimmy in on the auction and how things were at the ranch. They decided to stay the night and took rooms at the hotel. Jimmy had already moved in with Amanda. They decided to meet for breakfast the next morning at eight o'clock in the hotel restaurant.

The next morning at breakfast, Jimmy and Amanda filled in the boys on the wedding. It was to be March 30 there in Abilene. Jimmy wanted his sister's to be there. He had written Lydia with Celinda's help and she had agreed to come. Amanda gave Kid a letter for Lou and Ike a letter for Emily. Amanda also disclosed that she had put out feelers for a buyer for the saloon. She and Jimmy would be moving to Rock Creek following the wedding and the sale of the saloon. Kid filled in Jimmy and Amanda on Lou's pregnancy. About an hour or so later the boys were headed back to Rock Creek.

Everyone was excited about the news of the upcoming wedding. Louise and Emily both had letters asking to be Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid respectively. The girls were tickled. Life settled back down at the ranch. Lou's pregnancy was progressing nicely. Kid still had not come to terms with his decision being taken out of his hands but he accepted the terms and tried to be as happy as possible.

The week before the wedding the ranch shut down to travel for the wedding. Buck had hired a couple of local men to stay and take care of the stock while they were gone. Jimmy had booked the two suites at the hotel. The suites were 2 rooms and could have additional bunks brought in. Teaspoon, Rachel, Buck and Jeremiah took one suite. Jimmy had arranged for that suite to have two single beds in the second room. The other suite housed Ike and Emily in one room and Louise and Kid in the other. They were about to arrange for another bed for Teresa when Celinda spoke up and asked if Teresa would like to stay with them. Over lunch that day, Teresa and Little Billy had bonded and Celinda let Louise know that Teresa would be a tremendous help to her keeping Billy out from under foot. Louise said it fine with her if Celinda was sure it was no trouble. Teresa was so excited. Lydia arrived mid afternoon the next day with Ms. Fletcher. Jimmy looked at his youngest sister as she stepped off the stage and couldn't believe it. She was beautiful. At 15, she was a young woman. Jimmy was afraid that he may get into trouble if some boy thought he wanted to be slick. She looked just like Jimmy. Her dirty blonde hair swept up in the latest fashion. Her navy blue traveling dress was fitted with lace cuffs and trim. Her matching parasol hid her face momentarily. When she lifted the parasol and spotted Jimmy and Celinda, she squealed and broke out into a run to meet them on the sidewalk. Jimmy ran out and caught her half way. He embraced her like her hadn't seen her in years. Six years to be exact. He looked at her and the tears welled up in his eyes. Her gray eyes looking back at him also with emotion.

"Lydia. I'm so glad you're here. I love you. I love you so much. And now, we can be a real family. Me, you and Celinda. A real family. I'll tell you all about the ranch and everything." Jimmy said as he kept hugging her.

"Jimmy. Jimmy, let the girl catch her breath." Celinda said as Jimmy finally let go. "Lydia, you look stunning. I'm so glad you are here. Let me show you to your room at the hotel so you and Ms. Fletcher can freshen up."

Jimmy went to Ms. Fletcher and hugged her as well. He thanked her for taking such good care of his sisters. Ms. Fletcher smiled and let Jimmy know that it was her pleasure and she was proud that he had found a good girl and was happy. She was looking forward to meeting Amanda and hearing about the ranch. Jimmy got the luggage and walked with the ladies over to the hotel. Celinda said that she wanted Lydia and Ms. Fletcher to join at her house for supper. Jimmy and Amanda would be there as well. They all agreed.

Emily and Lou spent the day having their dresses fitted and altered. The boys made sure they had their suites cleaned and neat. They all went and bought new white shirts for the occasion. That evening the Rock Creek group all had dinner at the hotel and retired to their rooms.

Supper at Celinda's house was a joyous and wonderful affair. They all got to know each other. Teresa and Lydia hit off immediately and became fast friends. Jimmy told Lydia all about riding for the Express and the ranch that he was now part owner of. Lydia told them all about her life with Ms. Fletcher. She wanted for nothing and was about to graduate from a girls preparatory school in June. She was going to stay on another year under her current professors to obtain a teaching certificate. Jimmy and Celinda beamed. They were so proud for her. After dessert, Jimmy told Lydia and Ms. Fletcher that he and Amanda would escort them to the hotel on their way home.

Celinda informed Jimmy that he would be sleeping there at her house the following evening since it was the night before the wedding. Jimmy chuckled and said "Yes ma'am" as he closed the door. Jimmy saw the ladies to their room and then he and Amanda headed home. Jimmy was elated. He and his sisters were a family again. He was marrying the woman of his dreams. He was part owner of a very successful horse ranch. He prayed and thanked God for all he had.

Lydia tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. She quickly tossed on a pair of pants and a shirt and went downstairs to sit on the boardwalk and enjoy some fresh air. She had been sitting there for about thirty minutes when a couple of drunks came stumbling up the boardwalk. Lydia noticed them and tried to stand up and go back into the hotel lobby. The men however had other thoughts. They quickly began to cat call and had her pinned against the wall. They took a position on each side of her and roughly picked her up to carry her into the alley. No one noticed the open windows above them. Lydia began to struggle and yell out before being gagged. Upstairs, Jeremiah was awakened by the sounds of a struggle and a yell. He went and peered out the window and saw two men about to have their way with a young girl. He ran over to Buck and shook him telling him to get Teaspoon, Kid and Ike. There was trouble in the alley. He grabbed his gun and ran out hearing Buck shout to wait for help. Jeremiah was in the alley before he blinked. He noticed that her shirt was ripped open and she was gagged. One of the men raised his hand to strike her when Jeremiah lifted his gun, aimed at the man's chest, and pulled the hammer back.

"I wouldn't if I were you." Jeremiah said as he inched closer. "Let her go and you can walk to jail. Don't and you can be carried."

Lydia looked at her rescuer and saw that he was about the same age as she. His confidence though was amazing. He was steady and sure and spoke strong. He meant what he said. The men turned and looked at Jeremiah.

"Now boy, just go on back inside to your ma and leave the man's work to us." The men chuckled. They made no effort to turn Lydia lose.

"I said let her go. This is your final warning." Jeremiah stared the men down. At that moment they both went for their guns. Jeremiah fired and then slammed his hand down on the hammer and fired again. Both shots hitting their mark and both men falling to the ground. Jeremiah rushed to catch the girl before she fainted. At that moment Buck and Teaspoon came around the front and Kid and Ike came up from the back. They saw Jeremiah with a girl in his arms.

"Miss. Miss, are you alright? Are you hurt?" Jeremiah asked trying to look for a wound and pulling her shirt together. The boys walked up behind him and Buck and Kid put their hands on his shoulders.

"Thank you. You saved me." Lydia looked into Jeremiah's eyes. She saw concern and warmth. "Please. Please get my brother."

"I will. I promise I will send someone to find your brother. I'm going to take you to the doctor, okay. Who is your brother? What is your name Miss?" Jeremiah gently brushed a stray lock of hair from her face as he held her.

"Hickok. My name is Lydia Hickok. My brother is Jimmy Hi. . ." Lydia fainted into Jeremiah's arms. He gently picked her up and headed out of the alley. Louise, Emily and Rachel were on the boardwalk. They saw Jeremiah walk out carrying a young girl and Buck leading him to the doctor's office. Kid and Ike stayed with the bodies. Teaspoon walked onto the boardwalk and before he could say a word Louise fainted into Emily's arms. Teaspoon hollered for Kid. Kid and Ike rounded the corner and Kid scooped up Lou and headed for the doctor's office. Ike kissed Emily and asked her to follow Kid. Rachel took Emily's hand and they followed Kid. Ike went back to the alley. Teaspoon went to the marshal's office.

Buck banged on the door to the doctor's office. The doctor opened the door and Jeremiah brought in Lydia. Buck let them know he was going for Jimmy. Jeremiah gently laid Lydia down and answered the doctors questions about what happened. He refused to leave the room. He sat out of the way quietly, holding her hand.

As Buck was leaving, in walked Kid with an unconscious Louise. Buck became frightened. Kid told him Louise had fainted when she saw Jeremiah. He wasn't sure but he figured that Louise may have thought Jeremiah had been hurt. Buck told Kid he was going for Jimmy and would be back soon. Kid lay Lou down in the other room and went to the hallway to look for the doctor. Kid found the doctor coming out of the other room where Lydia was.

"Excuse me, Doc. My wife is pregnant and she fainted. I think she believes her brother was hurt. That's her brother in there with the young lady." Kid informed the doctor. The doctor led Kid back to the exam room where Louise was.

"What's her name?" The doctor asked. He moved to wash his hands and dry them.

"Louise. Louise Kendrick. She's about 5 months pregnant." Kid replied.

"Allright. Let's take a look." The doctor did a quick exam and determined that the baby and Louise were fine. He grabbed a small damp cloth and waved it under Lou's nose. After a few seconds, Louise came around. She looked around and started crying when she saw the Kid. Kid rushed to her side and held her.

"Is he alright? Please. Please God. Please let him be alright. Oh God, Kid." Louise sobbed. She just knew that the gun shots she heard had killed her brother. He was just a boy. Trying to help someone.

"Now Mrs. Kendrick, please calm down. I believe you and the baby are fine. However, being too emotional can be taxing on the babe." The doctor said. "Besides, your brother is in the next room. He's just fine."

Meanwhile, Buck had left to go to The Silver Spoon and find Jimmy. He walked into the saloon and up to the bar. He asked the bartender how to get to Amanda's place, that he had an emergency for Jimmy. Tim, the bartender, led him around back and told him to go up the stairs. Buck took the stairs two at a time and started banging on the door.

"Jimmy! It's Buck! Jimmy! Jimmy, open up! JIMMY!" Buck yelled. He heard footsteps and Jimmy yelled back that this better be important. The door was snatched open and Jimmy glared at Buck, with Amanda behind him. Jimmy's face changed from anger to concern when he saw Buck.

"Buck! Buck, what the hell?" Jimmy asked. Amanda pushed Jimmy aside and told Buck to come in. Buck entered the apartment and sat down. Amanda moved into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee.

"Buck, what's happened." Jimmy asked. Amanda handed each man a cup of coffee and took one for herself.

"Well, a struggle in the alley by the hotel woke Jeremiah. He saw trouble and grabbed his gun. He woke me and told me to get Teaspoon, Ike and Kid. He ran downstairs. I got Teaspoon and the boys. I told Kid and Ike to go around back and Teaspoon and I went around front. By the time we got around to the alley, gunfire was heard. I came around the corner and saw Jeremiah grab the young girl before she hit the ground. She said he saved her life and asked for him to get her brother. She said her name was Lydia Hickok." Buck finished his story. Jimmy couldn't believe it. Something had happened to Lydia.

"Where is she? Buck, is she okay? Is she. . . is she. . . is . . ." Jimmy felt his voice crack. Amanda came around and put her arms around Jimmy.

"Jimmy, she's fine. She's shaken up but she's fine. Jeremiah took her to the doctor's. He was there with her when I left. The doctor said she appeared okay. Kid brought Lou in as I was leaving. She fainted." Buck assured Jimmy. Buck was anxious to get back. He wanted to check on Lou.

"Oh thank God. Is Lou alright?" Jimmy asked. Buck shrugged his shoulders indicating he didn't know. The group put down their cups. Buck told Jimmy to go on the doctor's office and he would wait for Amanda and walk her over. Amanda agreed and Jimmy took off headed for the doctor's office. Amanda quickly threw on a work dress and she and Buck were close behind Jimmy.

Back at the doctor's office, Ike came in after making sure the undertaker had the bodies. The marshal questioned Teaspoon and Ike and then asked to speak to Kid and Buck. Kid came out and gave his statement. At that moment Jimmy burst thru the door. Kid led him to the office where Lydia was. Kid knocked on the door and pushed it open gently. He and Jimmy found Jeremiah in a chair, bent over asleep with his head resting next to Lydia's hand, which was holding Jeremiah's hand. Kid walked over and gently shook Jeremiah awake. Jeremiah sat up and rubbed his eyes. At the loss of his hand, Lydia stirred. Reaching out for the lost object, Jeremiah gently rubbed her hand and whispered "shhhhhh". Once she had settled, Jeremiah stood up and noticed Jimmy, who had taken in the whole scene.

"Jeremiah, The marshal needs your statement and Ike brought you some pants." Kid said to Jeremiah quietly. "Also, I need you to come with me. Louise fainted and she believes you are hurt or dead. She needs to see that you are okay. Let's let Jimmy have some time with his sister." Kid said Jeremiah. Jeremiah realized that in all the excitement he was still only in his long john bottoms. Jeremiah blushed and put on his pants. He stopped when Jimmy grabbed his arm. He looked up expecting Jimmy to be mad, but what he saw startled him. He saw fear and compassion. Jimmy pulled him into an embrace and held him there for a minute.

"Thank you. Thank you Jeremiah. For looking after my sister. I can't thank you enough." Jimmy's voice was thick with emotion. He had just rekindled a relationship with Lydia. His relationship with Celinda was better than he had imagined. He had prayed a lot in the few months, and he wasn't going to stop now.

"I only did what I thought was right; what I thought you or Kid or Buck or Ike would have done. I'm just glad they didn't hurt her." Jeremiah broke away from Jimmy. He meant what he said. She was beautiful. He was glad to know he had gotten there before they could do anything. Jeremiah then realized what the Kid had said. "Kid, did you say Louise was hurt? Where is she?"

"Come on this way Jeremiah." Kid led him out into the hallway. The marshal looked up and asked Jeremiah to come over there to him. Kid looked at the marshal and then at Teaspoon. Teaspoon nodded and waved his hand at Kid. Teaspoon then turned and told the marshal to let the boy look in on his sister and then he would be happy to speak with them. As Kid and Jeremiah went down the other hall, the front door opened. A crying Celinda came thru the door assisted by Amanda and Buck. Teaspoon let them know that everything was fine and that Jimmy was in with Lydia. Buck showed them to the room and gently shut the door behind them. The marshal asked for Buck to come over and give his statement. Everyone listened as Buck gave the same story as everyone else.

Kid opened the door to the room that Louise was resting in. Jeremiah went over to the side of the bed and grabbed her hand. He let a tear slip down his cheek as he held her hand for a few moments.

"Louise. Louise, it's me, Jeremiah. Wake up. . . please. I'm okay. Please wake up." Jeremiah said softly. He squeezed her hand. Louise stirred and slowly opened her eyes. She looked into Jeremiah's face and reached up to cup his cheek. She began to cry.

"I'm alright. I promise Louise. I'm okay." Jeremiah said as she sat up to hug him. They embraced for a few minutes. Kid stood on the other side of the bed. The events of the night played into his head. He realized that he had come so close to losing. Losing Jeremiah. Losing Jimmy if Lydia had been hurt or killed. Losing the baby he had not even seen yet; that had not even taken a breath. Losing Louise.

After a few minutes, Jeremiah realized that Lou had fallen asleep in his embrace. He laid her back down on the bed while Kid covered her up. He led Jeremiah out into the lobby. The marshal asked for Jeremiah's statement. Jeremiah sat and laid out the whole story. The marshal was concerned since none of the others had actually been in the alley. He escorted Jeremiah over to the jail and locked him up; despite the extremely loud protesting of all of the family, including Jimmy Hickok. The marshal made it clear that he was only doing this until he could talk to Lydia the following day. If her story matched Jeremiah's, he would be free to go.

Kid let Louise sleep and reclined back in the chair in the room. Celinda stayed with Lydia. Everyone else went back to their rooms. The next morning, Amanda and Jimmy brought Celinda, Lydia, Kid, and Louise some breakfast. Teaspoon, Rachel, Ike, and Emily went to the jail and brought Jeremiah some breakfast. Buck headed to the doctor's office. They had come to found out that Doctor "Doc" Stevens was a fair and honest man that cared for his patients.

Lydia was sitting up in bed enjoying her toast, jam, potatoes, and eggs while talking with the others. Jimmy let Celinda and Lydia know that Jeremiah was in jail until the marshal could get Lydia's statement. Louise was madder than a wet hen when she found out her little brother was in jail. Doc Stevens assured that Lydia was shaken up but just fine and was free to go. Jimmy paid the doctor for his services. Jimmy, Amanda, and Celinda escorted Lydia back to her room at the hotel. Lydia asked to see the marshal. She was anxious to clear up this mess with Jeremiah. He had saved her life. She shuddered to think what could have happened to her if he had not have showed up. Jimmy went to get the marshal and found Teaspoon, Kid and Lou at the jail. The marshal greeted Jimmy and asked to interview Lydia away from Jeremiah to make sure everything was on the up and up. The marshal followed Jimmy to the hotel.

Lydia recalled the story for the marshal. Jimmy and Celinda listened. Jimmy thought to himself how lucky Lydia was. She could have been raped, beaten and killed in that alley. After Lydia was finished, Jimmy and the marshal walked back to the jail. Kid and Teaspoon were still at the jail. Kid had made Lou go and lay down. The rehearsal was that night and he didn't want her any more stressed than she needed to be. The marshal opened the cell and gave Jeremiah back his gun telling him he was free to go. Everyone's stories matched perfectly so it was self defense and a fair fight; the men had drawn on and engaged Jeremiah.

The group left the jail and headed for the hotel. Jeremiah wanted to get cleaned up. It was decided that everyone would meet at the church at five o'clock for the rehearsal with dinner to follow at the restaurant. After getting a bath and getting cleaned up Jeremiah went to the general store just down the street. He went in and found what he looking for. He purchased the item and asked for it to be wrapped. He strolled back to the hotel and stopped in front of Lydia's room. He knocked and waited. The door was opened by Ms. Fletcher. She smiled and bid Jeremiah welcome. She asked him to please have a seat and she would go and get Lydia. Jeremiah took a seat on the settee that was over by the window. A few minutes passed and Lydia appeared in a simple maroon dress. Jeremiah looked at Lydia. This was the first time he had really looked at her. She was beautiful; her dirty blond hair down neatly in a French braid.

Lydia crossed to the settee. Jeremiah took her hand and kissed her knuckle. Lydia giggled and then sat down. She patted the seat next to her and bid Jeremiah to sit down.

"We didn't get a chance to be formally introduced. My name is Jeremiah McCloud. I just wanted to make sure you were alright." Jeremiah said. He was trying his best to stay calm. He was sitting next to the most beautiful girl in the world; who also happened to be Jimmy's sister. "I also wanted to thank you for helping to get the charges dropped. I know telling the story wasn't easy, at least it wasn't for me."

"Oh, no. I should be thanking you. If you had not come down, I don't even want to imagine what could have happened. You saved my life." Lydia couldn't believe it. He really didn't know that he was a hero. Her hero. She had so many butterflies in her stomach she thought she might fly away. "I'm Lydia Hickok. Jimmy is my brother and Celinda is my sister. I am the youngest. How do you know Jimmy?"

"Well, my sister and her husband rode for the Pony Express with Jimmy. Once the Express ended, several of the riders went in together and bought the old way station in Rock Creek and the land around it and started the Bar PXF Ranch. My older sister Louise is married to the Kid. They along with Buck, Jimmy, Ike and his wife Emily, Rachel, and Teaspoon all own the Ranch. Louise and Kid came and picked my little sister, Teresa and I up from the orphanage. We live there with them. I work on the ranch and live in the bunkhouse with Buck. Jimmy's a good man." Jeremiah found that talking with Lydia was so natural. He felt like he could tell her anything and it would be like breathing. "I don't know how he did it all those times. Faced down all those gunmen. He's such a good guy. I know they all want a piece of "Wild Bill" but that's not who he is. That was the first time I had pulled my gun on anything other than a can or a bottle; much less actually fired it. I was so scared. Scared I would miss. Scared I would hit you. Scared that they would kill me and then who would help you. All I could think in that moment was I had to help you."

Lydia smiled and took Jeremiah's hand in hers. The electricity that passed between them was unmistakable. They both looked up and their eyes locked. Jeremiah swore he could see heaven in those gray eyes. Lydia felt like those hazel brown eyes staring back at her were like tiger's eyes. They gazed into each other's eyes for a few minutes.

"Well, uhm, thank you again for saving my life. Jimmy left when I was only 8. I don't really remember him or any memories with him. He was always getting in trouble with our father. Even though he didn't do anything. A year later our mother died, our father had took off with Vigilance Committee, so Celinda and I went to live with Ms. Fletcher. When Celinda married Nathan, I chose to remain living with Ms. Fletcher. I will finish school this year and then stay on another year to get my teaching certificate." Lydia was amazed at how comfortable yet anxious she was. This wasn't the first time she had had a suitor come to call, but this was the first time she had actually wanted this particular suitor to come and call. "You mentioned that you and your sister were in an orphanage. Do you mind if ask what happened?

"Oh sure. Our father was a gun runner. Louise doesn't know that I know. He used to beat on my mother and Louise. One day, not long after Teresa was born, our mother had had enough. She packed us up and we left. I was four. We moved around a lot trying to avoid my father. Our mother even changed our name back to her maiden name, McCloud. Ma took sick and we stayed in St. Joe. She died when I was 6 and we ended up in the orphanage. Louise left the orphanage one night promising to return for us. A few years passed and then our father found us at the orphanage. He took us away and I have to admit I was taken in by all the guns and secrecy and all. One day though, Louise and the boys came and rescued us. I found out later that was the day the boys found out she was Louise and not Lou. Kid shot and killed our father before he could kill them or us. They took us back to the orphanage and again Louise promised to return for us. A couple of years later, She and Kid came to pick us up and here we are. I finished school at the orphanage right before they came." Jeremiah had never actually told anyone his story. He sincerely hoped that Lydia would still want to see him after all this news. Lydia smiled. Jeremiah suddenly remembered the gift he had brought.

"I almost forgot. I brought you something to show my appreciation." Jeremiah said as he handed the gift to Lydia. Lydia's face lit up and she excitedly unwrapped the gift. Inside was a beautiful cream colored lace shawl. Lydia gasp and held up the gift. She had never received such a thoughtful gift. She had received many a bottle of perfume and bath water, but never something like this. "I just thought a beautiful lady like yourself could use a beautiful wrap. Maybe, if its alright with you and Ms. Fletcher, I could escort you to the rehearsal and dinner tonight?" Jeremiah asked hoping she couldn't hear his heart beating through his chest.

"Why, I would love for you to escort me. As a matter of fact, we should be getting ready. Look at the time." Lydia said. Right then, Ms. Fletcher came in the room to remind Lydia of the time and smiled when she heard Lydia had realized the hour. Jeremiah stood up and offered his hand to Lydia to assist her up. Lydia gladly accepted his hand and stood.

"Ms. Fletcher, I would like to ask permission to escort Lydia to the rehearsal and dinner tonight. I will see that she gets back here to her room as well." Jeremiah asked after turning to face the older lady. Ms. Fletcher smiled and granted permission. Lydia then escorted Jeremiah to the door and he told her would be back about 4:45 to pick her up.

Everyone busied about getting ready for the rehearsal. As promised, Jeremiah knocked on the door to Lydia's room at 4:45. She opened the door to find him dressed in a pair of brown trousers with a grey button down shirt. He had on a brown leather vest and his hair was neatly combed. He held out a small bouquet of flowers which Lydia giggled and happily accepted. He offered her his left arm and the beauty gladly hooked her arm with his. Jeremiah thought she was beautiful in her hunter green dress with a sweetheart neckline. She had even accessorized with her brand new cream shawl. Her dirty blonde hair was swept up into a fancy French twist and she had dangling emerald green earrings. The young couple made their way over to the church. Jeremiah opened the door for her and they stepped in. The crowd stopped and looked at the young couple. The ladies smiled. The men grinned. The young couple blushed.

After the rehearsal, the couples and wedding party walked over to the restaurant. The friends and families ate and drank and had a grand time. Louise, Amanda, and Emily danced with all the boys including Jeremiah. Louise stressed to Jeremiah the importance of being a gentleman. Jeremiah danced with Lydia numerous times. Towards the end of the night, Jimmy asked to speak to Jeremiah in private. The two walked out of the restaurant and stood on the boardwalk.

"So, you escorted Lydia tonight. I noticed that you two sat together and danced several times. I won't beat around the bush, Jeremiah. I love you like a brother, but I need to know. What are your intentions with Lydia?" Jimmy asked Jeremiah, looking him in the eye.

"Jimmy, I love you like a brother too. It means the world to me that you would think of me that way. I promise you. I have nothing but honorable intentions towards Lydia. I plan on talking to her after the wedding about writing to her while she finishes school and gets her teaching degree. She needs to finish school and finish her goals. I have a job, but I need to start saving and talking about a future with the ranch and all. She deserves that. She deserves to have every opportunity. I would like to get to know her and see what happens." Jeremiah explained. He had already given this thought while getting ready for the rehearsal. He didn't want to rush anything.

"That sounds like a fine plan Jeremiah." Jimmy said as he shook Jeremiahs hand. The pair went back to the party. After a while, Lydia said she was tired and would like to retire for the evening. Louise said the same thing, so Kid and Jeremiah went to get the ladies their wraps. The ladies bid farewell to everyone and the men shook hands. Jeremiah offered Lydia his arm while Kid did the same for Louise. The couples made small talk while walking back to the hotel. Jeremiah dropped Lydia off at the door. She opened the door and turned to look at Jeremiah.

"I had a lovely evening tonight Jeremiah. Thank you for the company." Lydia said to Jeremiah. Jeremiah reached over and took her hand. He gazed into her eyes. He brought her hand up and gently, slowly kissed the knuckles. Lydia blushed and reached up to tuck a lock of hair back into place.

"I will pick you up tomorrow about noon for the ceremony." Jeremiah said to Lydia. She nodded and smiled. "I wish you goodnight and sweet dreams." Jeremiah waited until Lydia closed the door before heading to the room he, Buck, Teaspoon and Rachel shared. He climbed into bed with only his long john bottoms on. His was thinking of Lydia when Buck came in. Buck got undressed to his long john bottoms and crawled into his bed. He thought of Lou and how glad he was that everything was okay after her fainting. Both men drifted to sleep with vision of lovely women on their brains.

The next day dawned without a cloud in the sky. Jeremiah, like all the men, dressed in his best suit. He promptly knocked on the door to Lydia's room at noon. The wedding was to begin at two o'clock. Jeremiah offered his arm to both Lydia and Ms. Fletcher. The ladies both giggled and took his arms. The trio headed to the church. Once there, they settled in with the rest of the 'family'. Emma and Sam had come from Omaha with their two children; one year old twins Little Sam and Benjamin. Kid and Louise, Ike and Emily, Rachel and Teaspoon, Nathan and Celinda, and Buck were there waiting as well. All the ladies had gone to help Amanda get ready, while the men were trying to calm Jimmy's nerves.

A little before two o'clock, a few of the local families that had come to know the couple filed in including Tim and his wife Amy who helped with the saloon. Jeremiah sat with Lydia on Jimmy's side. Right at two o'clock, the preacher emerged from the left hand side of the church followed by Jimmy, Kid, Buck, and Ike. Once they were in position, the doors at the back of the church opened. Celinda walked down the aisle in a soft cream colored dress trimmed in pink lace. Once, Celinda got to the front of the church, Emily walked down the aisle wearing the same dress. Emily took her place on Celinda's left. Louise walked down the aisle next with a soft pink dress trimmed in creamy lace. Louise took her place as matron of honor. Jimmy beamed as his sister and his 'sisters' walked down the aisle to stand up at his wedding.

He turned and faced the men, no his brothers, that were standing with him. Standing up for him. They had been through hell and fire, faced death and joy, grief and laughter together. Kid, Buck, and Ike all smiled at Jimmy and nodded. They shared an understanding. Jimmy turned in time to see his bride walk into the church.

Amanda stepped into the church escorted by Teaspoon. Jimmy held his breath, she was beautiful. She had on an elegant slim fitting modern gown that was white with cream and pink lace trim. She had her trademark silver combs in her hair.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God and this company to join together this man and this woman in the bonds of Holy Matrimony. Who gives this woman to be joined to this man?" The preacher asked.

"Her family and I do." Teaspoon said. He hugged Amanda and kissed her on the cheek. A tear fell from his eye as he shook Jimmy's hand and pulled him into a hug. Teaspoon placed Amanda's hand in Jimmy's and then went to sit with Rachel. Teaspoon took Rachel's hand in his and held it there. Rachel smiled.

After the vows and the kiss, the preacher introduced Mr. and Mrs. James Butler Hickok. The church was filled with cheers and applause as Jimmy and Amanda walked back up the aisle. Kid went over and escorted Louise out of the church, Buck escorted Emily out of the church, and Ike escorted Celinda. The group all gathered at the saloon for the reception. There was dancing, food and alcohol. The party was one to remember.

Jeremiah asked Lydia to accompany him on a walk before going back to the hotel. Lydia accepted and the two headed off down the boardwalk. Jeremiah took Lydia's hand in his as they walked. They walked back towards the saloon after their walk. Most of the adults were indulging in the drink and weren't paying attention to the young couple. Jeremiah led Lydia back to a table where they could talk over the all the noise.

"Lydia, I wanted you to know that I have really enjoyed our time together." Jeremiah said while holding Lydia's hand across the table.

"So have I Jeremiah. I will be very sad to go home. I'm going to miss you." Lydia spoke softly. Her voice strained with genuine emotion.

"Me too. I would really like to continue to get to know you. I know you need to finish school and get your teaching degree. I have my job back at the ranch. Maybe you could come and visit during the summer? Can I write to you and keep in touch with you?" Jeremiah asked. Lydia smiled.

"I'd like that very much." Lydia said to Jeremiah. The young couple began to chat away. The two got along like they had known each other their whole lives. The party went on around them although they only half noticed. Eventually, Jeremiah escorted Lydia back to her room and once again gently, slowly kissed her knuckles and said good night.

The next morning, Jeremiah picked up Lydia and the pair had breakfast together in the hotel café. Kid and Lou were with Ike and Emily and Buck across the room. The adults all enjoyed their morning with a leisurely breakfast. Lydia and Ms. Fletcher were leaving on the noon stage. Jimmy and Amanda had left for their honeymoon that morning. Celinda and her family joined the guests at the hotel to await the noon stage. Teresa came in with Celinda and happily chatted about her stay. Celinda declared that Teresa would be greatly missed and she was a natural with the baby. Rachel and Teaspoon decided to sleep in.

When the stage got there, Jeremiah helped Lydia into the cabin. Kid loaded her luggage for her. Jeremiah held her hand for a long moment, promising to write her soon. The driver called the time to leave and Jeremiah shut the door to the cabin. The driver clicked the horses into motion and the stage was off. Jeremiah choked back emotion as he waved the stage out of sight. Kid and Buck came over and put their hands on his shoulders. They understood how it felt to watch someone you care about leave.

The afternoon stage came shortly after. Louise, Kid, Emily, Ike, Teresa, and Rachel all climbed aboard. The luggage was loaded. Teaspoon, Buck and Jeremiah all saddled up to ride alongside, however they would be stopping to water and rest the horses. The family arrived back in Rock Creek. The ranch had been well tended. The family settled back in. All went to normal.

Jimmy and Amanda enjoyed their honeymoon. When they returned, Amanda spoke with a man about buying the saloon. The man only wanted to be a silent partner as he had other businesses as well. Amanda worked out a deal to sell the saloon for top dollar, however Tim and his wife Amy would run it and be partners with the man. All the parties agreed and the deal was done. Within a month, Jimmy and Amanda were on their way to Rock Creek to settle down with the rest of the family. Celinda didn't want Jimmy to leave, but understood all the same.


	7. Without You

**A/N: The usual disclaimer junk. WARNING: Explicit Content and Mature Subject Matter. Also, This chapter contains trigger warning. There is a significant loss in this chapter. For all the Kid Fans, Sorry. **

" It seems unreal to me that the life you promised was a lie . . .

I guess you got what you wanted, what about me . . ." Dixie Chicks

Chapter 6

Without You

Rock Creek, Nebraska

June 1862

A few months had passed since Jimmy and Amanda married. They had moved to Rock Creek and now had a fine four bedroom home, The Cottage, built on the ranch as well. Amanda had used the money she made when she sold the saloon and opened The Silver Spoon in Rock Creek. Jimmy was as content as a bedbug to work the ranch and then come home to his wife.

Buck was happy and content with working on the ranch. He had even been to see his brother, Red Bear, and had spent time with him in the village. They had made amends from when Red Bear told him to leave and never look back. Red Bear now realized that Buck had proven himself a true Kiowa Warrior and deserved to be treated as one; even if he didn't live in the village. Buck participated in a hunt and also helped in a war party against a renegade bunch of Arapaho. Buck had done so well in the war party that he was now in a Warrior Society. Buck spent a month with the tribe and promised to visit more often. He also told Red Bear that he would be welcome at the ranch anytime. Buck had also taught Jeremiah, Teresa, Emily, and Lou how to speak Kiowa and Lakota. They all already knew Indian sign because of Ike. He felt very proud that they wanted to learn and they might be safer if they could communicate while out on the trail.

Teaspoon and Rachel had become even closer and even got married themselves about two weeks ago. Teaspoon was happy as a clam now that most of his 'children' were home. He and Rachel made quite the pair.

Teresa was content with her school work and enjoyed her daily rides on Firefly. Louise had finished all the ladies a saddle blanket as well. All of theirs were the same shade of brown as the boys, however the ladies were trimmed in a soft pink. They all had the Bar PXF Brand on the upper left and lower right sides. Teresa's blanket had a pair of books on the lower left corner and her monograms, TME (Teresa Elizabeth McCloud), on the upper right corner. Rachel's blanket had a deck of cards with criss-crossed pencils underneath on the lower left corner and her initials, RHD (Rachel Dunne Hunter), on the upper right corner. Emily's blanket had a horse on the lower left corner and her initials, EMM (Emily Metcalfe McSwain), on the upper right corner. Amanda's blanket had a deck of cards with a set of pistols criss-crossed underneath on the lower left corner and her initials, AHO (Amanda O'Connell Hickok), on the right upper corner. Louise had even made herself one. Hers had a horse on the lower left corner and her initials, LKM (Louise McCloud Kendrick), on the right upper corner. The horses on Kid, Louise, and Jeremiah's blankets all matched. The horses on Ike and Emily's blankets matched. The pistols on Jimmy and Amanda's matched. The blankets were a prized possession. Buck, Jeremiah and Jimmy went to an auction last month and their personal saddle blankets and horses were the envy of the auction.

Jeremiah had been writing to Lydia weekly since returning to Rock Creek. He had spoken with Jimmy about whether or not it would be okay for her to come for a visit and stay with them. Jimmy then told Jeremiah that she had already asked and was coming in a few days. Jeremiah was so excited that he hugged Jimmy. Jimmy saw that Jeremiah was serious about his job and duties at the ranch. He was also serious about doing things right by Lydia.

Ike and Emily were just as happy as they had ever been. Emily and Louise and Amanda had become very close friends and dared to call themselves sisters. They often had dinner had someone's home or everyone came to their house. The only meal Emily insisted be just them was breakfast; either in bed or not. Ike was happy to comply with her simple request.

Kid and Lou had gone back to their routine. As the days crept closer to Lou's due date, Kid was getting more excited to meet his baby. He still however had doubt. Doubt about whether he was ready to be a father. Doubt about staying and not going to war. The internal struggle was too much sometimes. Lou was getting more excited by the day. She wasn't sure about having a baby right now, but the closer it came to time the happier she felt. She had started getting the blankets and diapers and all the necessary baby things. Soon.

On a particularly hot day, the boys were taking a break in the shade. Kid and Ike decided to go ride the south fence and replace a couple of boards. Jimmy was in town helping Teaspoon sort through a few things at the jail. Buck and Jeremiah were exercising the horses. Teresa had made lunch and brought it out to Buck and Jeremiah. She walked a basket over to the jail for Teaspoon and Jimmy. She waved to the boys as she walked back across the ranch and up into the house. Teresa opened and shut the door and walked into the kitchen to grab her apron. She had decided on her way back to the ranch to bake up a batch of snickerdoodles for Buck. She walked around the corner of the dining room and froze. Nothing could have prepared her for the sight she came upon. Louise was unconscious on the kitchen floor. A puddle of blood soaked her skirt and floor. Lou was pale and looked lifeless.

"Oh my God! Help! HELP! Somebody HELP! Louise, oh please Louise, be okay. Oh my God!" Teresa's screams become louder and louder.

Buck and Jeremiah were walking in a set of horses when they heard the screams. Terrified screams rang out across the main yard of the ranch. Buck and Jeremiah took off for the Big House towards the screams. They both drew their guns not knowing what was happening. They crashed through the door and saw Teresa huddled by Lou's head trying to comfort her and screaming alternately. She didn't even hear them come in. Jeremiah and Buck were both stunned.

"Teresa. Teresa! It's okay. We're here. What happened?" Buck soothed to the frightened girl.

"I don't know. I just come in to get my apron and I saw her like this." Teresa wailed as she looked at Buck. Jeremiah went and picked her up from behind to comfort her. Buck rolled Lou slightly and didn't see any wounds. Then, it hit him. She had lost the baby.

"Teresa put on a pot of water to boil. Jeremiah I need you go outside and fire two shots in the air and then ride hell for leather for the doctor. Go. Now." Buck instructed as he picked up Louise and carried her to the master bedroom. He heard Jeremiah fire two shots which he knew would get Kid and Ike's attention as well as Rachel, Emily, and Amanda's. Jeremiah jumped onto Herc bareback and rode the short distance to the doctor's office. In a few minutes, the doctor was on his way to the ranch. Jeremiah stopped in front on the marshal's office and hollered at Jimmy and Teaspoon to get to the ranch. The men took off after Jeremiah. Emily, Rachel, and Amanda had made it to the house. Buck had left Lou long enough for Rachel and Emily to change her into a nightdress. He then came back in and held her hand, tears falling down his cheeks. He knew she would be heartbroken. His heart was broken for her. Amanda helped Teresa put on coffee and boil some water for the doctor.

Kid and Ike came up fast. They had been replacing a board in the fence line when they heard two shots fired. The pair looked at each other and jumped on their horses and rode like the devil towards the main houses. Both men jumped from their horses and noticed Doc Miller coming up. They came thru the door and Amanda sent Kid up to the master bedroom. The doctor walked in behind him. When Kid opened the door to the room he shared with Lou, the doctor was behind him. He saw Buck sitting in a chair by the bed, holding Lou's hand close to his lips. Buck was crying silently. He looked up when Kid said his name and walked over to where Kid and the Doc Miller stood. He explained that they heard Teresa screaming and had come in to find Lou in a pool of blood. Buck said she was already unconscious when they got there but he didn't see any injury. He left Kid and Doc Miller with Emily and Rachel.

Jimmy, Teaspoon, Jeremiah, Amanda, Buck, and Teresa all waited downstairs. Buck and Jeremiah had relayed the story. Teresa sat curled up in a ball in Buck's lap. He silently cried and sang softly in Teresa's ear in Kiowa. After what seemed like an eternity, Doc Miller came out with Rachel and Emily. The ladies had been crying and their husbands immediately went to them to comfort them. Rachel gave everyone the news that Louise had indeed lost the baby. It had been a boy. Doc Miller said without someone seeing an injury, there wasn't any real cause other than sometimes these things happen. There wasn't a dry eye in the room as Doc Miller left.

Later that evening, Amanda made some supper for everyone although nobody really ate. Kid still had not come down from the bedroom. Rachel would go up and check on them every once in a while and bring fresh water for cool clothes. Both the Hickok's and the McSwain's offered for Teresa to spend the night at their place. Rachel insisted she was staying to help Kid, so she and Teaspoon took one of the spare rooms upstairs. Teresa became very upset and refused to go anywhere with anyone other than Buck. Buck told her she could stay in the bunkhouse with him and Jeremiah. She calmed down after that. Buck knew it wasn't ideal but he didn't care. Teresa was his little sister in his eyes and she needed all the comfort she could get. After Teresa left with Buck and Jeremiah, the Hickok's and McSwain's went to their homes promising to be back first thing in the morning. Rachel went in one last time for the night to let Kid know about Teresa and the she and Teaspoon were right across the hall. Kid nodded. He never took his eyes off Lou. His Lou. His Louise. She could have died and he hadn't even been there. His heart was broken but only because he knew how much she wanted that baby. He felt relieved and he was angry about that. How could he feel that way. He didn't want his baby to die; he just wanted to be able to make his own choice.

The next morning, Kid awoke to the sounds of Lou moaning in pain. He quickly went to make the laudanum that Doc Miller left. He brought the water to her lips and helped her drink. She soon drifted back to sleep. Kid went over and washed his face and changed his clothes. Rachel knocked and slowly opened the door. She found Lou still looked pale and she was sleeping. Kid and Rachel made sure the bleeding was not too much when they changed her nightdress. Rachel then made her way downstairs and found Emily and Teresa busily making breakfast for everyone. Emily asked about Lou and told Rachel that Ike was out helping the boys with the chores. Rachel fixed Kid a plate and took it upstairs. Outside, the chores were done without a lot of talk. Buck's mind was only on Louise. His heart ached for her. She was going to be devastated when she woke up. Kid had not emerged from the bedroom yet. Buck couldn't imagine what Kid was going through. The boys headed inside for breakfast.

Kid remained by Lou's side all day. Lou finally woke up that afternoon. Kid was there and held her. She was still weak and pale. Kid wasn't sure how he was going to tell her about the baby. Their baby. Doc Miller had said it was a boy. His son. Her son. Their son.

That evening, the same sleeping arrangements were made. Lou woke up and asked what had happened and why she was so sore. Kid went to the door and asked Rachel to come in the room with him. Kid sat down in the chair next to the bed and took Louise's hand in his.

"Kid, what happened?" Louise asked with a pleading look in her eyes. Her memory was a bit foggy from the medicine and she wasn't quite sure what was going on.

"Lou. . . well. . . uh. . . yesterday, Teresa came in from taking lunch to Teaspoon and Jimmy. She . . . uh. . . found you . . . in the kitchen, on the floor. . . bleeding. She screamed and Buck and Jeremiah came in. Buck got you upstairs here and Jeremiah got me and the doctor. Uhm . . . honey, I . . . uh. Well . . . the baby. . ." Kid became overcome with emotion. He had been crying during the entire story but now he almost couldn't bear to say the words. "Lou, the baby is gone. You lost the baby. It was a little boy according to Doc Miller."

Lou's face went white. Suddenly a primal scream erupted from deep within her. The sobbing was racking her body. She pushed away Kid as he tried his best to hold her and comfort her. She pushed away Rachel as well. Kid tried again to hold her and Louise slapped him. She put her hands on her face and sobbed. She then moved her hands to cover her now empty stomach; still swollen from being pregnant. She let out more screams. Screams of fear. Screams of anger. Screams of pain. Screams. All Kid and Rachel could do was sit there and cry. Louise wouldn't let them near her.

Louise's screams had caused Teaspoon to come running across the hall. He opened the door and took in the scene. He was instantly aware that Louise now knew what had happened. He shut the door back and turned to find Buck and Jeremiah coming up the stairs. Teaspoon pointed downstairs and the trio went to the kitchen. Buck put on some coffee and Jeremiah went back to the bunkhouse once Teaspoon assured him everything was as fine as it could be. Teresa was also frightened by the screams and Jeremiah assured them he would take care of her. He ran into Jimmy on his way out the door. Jimmy went in and sat down across from Teaspoon.

Jimmy explained he had heard the screams as well. Teaspoon let the boys know that Kid and Rachel had told Louise about the baby. That was what caused the screams. The boys all took a deep breath and tried to hold their emotions. The three men sat and drank their coffee. A few minutes later Kid came around the corner. He saw his family there and sat down next to Jimmy. Buck handed him a cup of coffee. Kid just sat and stared. After a few minutes, he finished his coffee, bid the others goodnight, and went back upstairs. Jimmy also bid them goodnight and headed home. Buck, after numerous assurances from Teaspoon, finally left to go back to the bunkhouse. He thought about taking a ride but knew he couldn't in the dark. He went into the bunkhouse and blew out the lantern. Jeremiah had calmed Teresa and they were both back to sleep.

After a couple of hours, Rachel came out and went to bed with her husband. She cried while Teaspoon held her. Her heart was broken for her friends. Her children. Between Rachel and Kid they had managed to get Louise to calm down. She eventually passed out from sheer exhaustion. Kid couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand to be in that room at that moment. He got up and went downstairs. He eventually settled on the sofa. His thoughts were racing. He eventually fell asleep.

During the next month Lou recovered physically and was just now starting to recover mentally. Lou had finally remembered that after Teresa had left to take a lunch to the boys and Jimmy and Teaspoon, she was washing the dishes when she started to feel pressure and then sharp pains. She remembered trying to get to a chair and then nothing. The best they could figure is she passed out from the pain and blood loss.

Kid tried to be the supportive husband, however he was finding it hard to control his own thoughts and emotions. How could he help her when he couldn't help himself. He was sad because his son had died before he had lived. He was angry for the same reason. He was angry because he hadn't been there. He was angry that Lou hadn't been more careful, even though the details were still unsure. He was bitter that he hadn't left before she got pregnant, then they wouldn't be in this mess. He was so unsure of anything. He knew he loved Louise but, maybe Buck was right. Why wasn't the enduring love he had for her enough. Why couldn't he just be happy. He had everything after all. Everything he ever said he wanted with the one exception of children, which had now been cruelly taken from him. Maybe this was a sign. A sign that maybe he should go to war. A sign that maybe his love for Lou wasn't enough. A sign . . . of . . .

August was now upon them. Lydia had arrived a few days after Lou's miscarriage and was leaving in a few days. She had spent almost two months at the ranch and had fallen in love with everything about it. She had written to Celinda and told her all about what a beautiful ranch and life Jimmy had with his friends that were now family. She told her of all the lovely walks and picnics, dinners and rides she and Jeremiah had shared. She knew she wanted to be with Jeremiah for the rest of her life, but he was insistent that she return and get her teaching degree. Jimmy was proud of them. Both of them. Jeremiah was taking this seriously and was making sure to do right by Lydia. When they went on a picnic, he asked Teresa to go to show that had the most honorable of intentions. Teresa and Lydia had become best friends.

Kid and Lou were barely there. Neither talked to the other much unless needed. Kid was even sleeping in the spare room. Kid barely talked to anyone. Lou, however, was mostly back to her old self with everyone; everyone except Kid. The tension was palpable.

One day, Louise saddled up Lightning and took off. She rode like she used to ride for the express. After a while she stopped by a small creek and realized it was the same creek she had come to that day after Kid had forced himself on her. She laughed at the irony of the situation. Her son had been created that night and now that he was gone, here she was again. She sat there by the creek just watching the flowing water. Lightning was roaming but not far. After a few hours, Louise went and sat up against a tree. She had been thinking about the last few months. The heartache and pain that she had endured. She knew that she had pushed Kid away. She didn't want his sympathy. She didn't want his pity. She had loved him so much, but now, the world was different. She was different. Things had gone back to normal after she announced that she was pregnant. But then, once the baby was gone, she felt like she was being judged. . . and blamed. She still ran thru that day in her mind every single day. Could she have done anything different. Could she have prevented the death of her unborn baby. A son. Her son. Could the whole thing have been avoided?

At the ranch Kid was just riding up from the south pasture when he saw Lou take off on Lightning. He shook his head. What had become of their love and their relationship? They were more like two strangers than a married couple. They didn't even share a bed anymore. Hadn't in about a month. He wasn't sure he wanted to anyway. Louise was cold enough to him without being a freezer if he layed next to her. The bad part was he knew why she was being so cold to him. . . he was blaming her. More than once he had said to her and their friends, usually with heated consequences, that if she had been acting like a proper lady than the miscarriage wouldn't have happened. Everyone always argued back that her being or not being a proper lady had nothing to do with it. This argument had driven a wedge between him and all of his friends/family. He had made his decision that day: He was going to Virginia.

Buck, Jeremiah, and Ike were trying to break one of the new mares. She was spirited thing and reminded Buck of Lou. She had managed to fully recover and had gone back to her old self and her old ways. He was so very relieved to have the old Lou back. He knew that the marriage between Kid and Louise was now just a shell; a farce. He saw her saddle up Lightning and ride out. He then turned and saw Kid riding up from the south pasture. He watched Kid shake his head and head for the barn. Buck headed for the barn to talk to his old friend.

"Kid. Everything okay. The south pasture." Buck asked in an even tone. He didn't want to start anything with Kid; he just wanted to talk. Try to help Kid come back from the ledge he was standing on.

"Fine. It's fine Buck. Why?" Kid replied standoffish. His tone accusing. He turned and narrowed his eyes toward Buck. Buck didn't back down. He continued to look at Kid.

"Just asking Kid. Wanted to make sure everything was okay. I didn't mean anything by it. How are you doing?" Buck replied calmly. He felt like yelling at the man in front of him. This wasn't the Kid he knew. The Kid he knew would be fighting tooth and nail for Louise and their marriage. He damn sure wouldn't be staring at Buck with narrowed eyes.

"I'm fine Buck. I'm just fine." Kid walked towards Buck and past him headed for the house. Buck just stood there. He closed his eyes slowly once Kid had passed him. He had a strange feeling that there was something going on, he just couldn't figure out what.

Ike had watched the exchange from just inside the door. He walked towards Buck and tapped his chest three times to get Buck's attention. Buck looked over at Ike.

"What's his problem today?" Ike signed to Buck.

"I guess the same as every other day. And if you managed to figure it out, let the rest of us know." Buck replied. "I know that things are pretty much over between him and Lou, but the rest, I'm not sure about."

Ike nodded both his agreement and understanding. Emily had been more upset than most of the others knew about. Ike had held her crying form every night for almost a month after Lou's miscarriage. Emily was so shaken by what had happened to her best friend and sister that she wasn't sure now that she even wanted children if they could be taken away so cruelly before you even got to see them. Ike had understood her logic. He felt helpless. He couldn't help his brother and sister and now, he couldn't help his wife.

"Something bothering you Ike?" Buck asked when he noticed his blood brother hanging his head. Buck admitted that he had noticed Ike being "quieter" than usual. Even though Ike "spoke" with his hands there was many a time that you couldn't get him to shut up. The last few months however Ike had been very introverted and reserved. Buck now was inwardly admonishing himself for not having checked up on his friend sooner. Ike just shook his head without looking up. "Ike, what's wrong? You are not usually so quiet. Is something wrong?"

"I just can't believe everything that has happened with Kid and Lou. The miscarriage, the heartache, the heartbreak. They were so good together and it seems like Lou is back to being Lou, but Kid. Kid is not the same man. I don't know who he is. I never, ever thought that a stranger would look so much like my friend." Ike signed. Buck just looked at Ike. Buck hadn't even realized how much of a weight this was on Ike. "Emily took the miscarriage really hard. She thought she had lost Lou too. She cried every night for a month. Then, she was angry. Angry that that little baby never had a chance to live. She said she didn't want to have children if they could be taken away like that. At first I could understand. But now. Now, we fight all the time. The same fight over and over." Ike hung his head again. He didn't want to burden Buck with his problems. However, Ike now felt that if he didn't talk to someone he would explode. Buck came to lean against the stall while Ike sat on few bales of hay. Buck had no idea that his brother was going through so much.

"The fight isn't even about whether or not to have children anymore. Emily won't let me touch her. She won't let me hold her. She won't let me do anything other than kiss her and even that is without passion. I'm not angry about the sex. I'm angry because I miss my wife and she doesn't want to listen to me. I don't know what to do." Ike exhaled deeply. Buck took in all this information. He hadn't noticed that his brother was troubled and he felt terrible for that.

"I'm sorry Ike. I'm sorry that I have been neglecting you and our friendship. I'm sorry that you are so sad and angry. I'm sorry that Emily is having a hard time. I'm so very sorry." Buck said as he walked over and put a hand on his friends shoulder. Ike shook his head. He looked up at Buck to acknowledge his friend. Buck could see the tears fall. He squeezed his friends shoulder to give him any comfort and support he could.

"I best be getting home. See you in the morning." Ike signed to Buck. Ike stood up and headed for the door of the barn. He silently closed the door behind him as he headed for home. Ike thought about everything he said to Buck. He felt better now that he had told someone. The fighting between him and Emily was beginning to take its toll. He loved Emily more than anything. He adored her. He wasn't sure what to do and it was about to eat him alive.

Buck was settling the barn when he noticed Lightning was missing. It was getting late and he was concerned. Lou was out and apparently no one was concerned. No one that knew anyways. He walked over to the Main House. He knocked on the door and was bid welcome. He opened the door to Rachel fixing a basket to take over to the jail for her and Teaspoon to have supper together. She stopped and looked over at him with a concerned smile.

"Hello Buck. What brings you by?" Rachel asked. She could see concern on his face.

"Hey Rachel. Uh, Lightning is not in the barn, so Lou must be out. Kid saw her leave but is apparently not concerned. Could I make a few sandwiches and grab some fruit. I need to go and find Lou. Also, Could you check on Teresa and make sure she is okay and has supper. Kid was acting strange earlier and I want to make sure she is okay." Buck asked. He was genuinely concerned for the young girl. Kid was so preoccupied lately Buck wasn't sure if he even paid any attention to her anymore. The more Buck thought about it, the angrier he got.

"Sure. Go saddle up. I'll bring you a package in a few minutes." Rachel said with a smile. Buck hugged her and turned to head back to the barn. He saddled his stallion, Warrior, and led him out of the barn. Rachel came down to the barn and handed Buck a care package and two canteens. She let him know that Teresa was staying at her friend Susanna's house for the night and was having supper with them.

"Thanks Rachel. I let Jeremiah know that I was leaving and that I may not be back tonight. I didn't tell him I was going after Louise." Buck explained to Rachel. Rachel bid him a safe ride and to bring Louise home. She headed for the jail and Buck rode out.

Kid was in the Big House. His house. The house he had built to spend his life loving his wife. Now, it was just a house. He had loved in the house and now, there was loss. He packed a bag and sat down at the table. He knew Lou was out somewhere with Lightning. Jeremiah and Buck were probably in the bunkhouse. Ike at home with his beautiful wife. Rachel was off to visit with Teaspoon at the jail and have supper. Jimmy and Amanda were visiting Celinda and Nathan for a few days. No one would know, until he was gone.

He wrote out a letter and headed upstairs. He sat the letter on Louise's pillow and walked out of his bedroom for the last time. He looked around. He would always love this place. The memories. He turned and walked out the door, knowing he would not return.

He went into the barn and realized that both Lightning and Warrior were missing from their stalls. He took his saddle and tacked up one of the mares. He led her to the side of the barn. He walked back in and doted on Katie. He couldn't stand the idea of leaving her behind but he couldn't let her go to Virginia and possibly get hurt. He would send for her later. He mounted up and took one last look at the Bar PXF Ranch. He took a deep breath and kicked the mare into a run.

Kid rode all night since the moon was full and he had plenty of light. He rode into Blue Creek and bought a train ticket for Richmond. He boarded the horse in the stock car and went to get a bite to eat. By now someone had found his letter. He paid for his meal and went back to the train station. He boarded and waited for the train to pull out. He was going home.

Virginia would always be in his blood. He couldn't deny that now. He had to stand by her. He would never agree with slavery of any kind or the mistreatment of people for any reason. But, he knew that standing up for what was right was what he had to do. Virginia needed to be heard in Washington just like New York. No, deserved. The south deserved to be treated the same as the north with regard to representation in Washington. Besides, nobody was talking about the slaves or "servants" of the north. Equal rights and representation was exactly what he was fighting for.

Kid suddenly realized the train was moving. He was headed home. Where ladies were proper ladies and stayed in their place by their husband. He was headed back to the land of cotton. Look away. Where old times were not forgotten. Look away. To the land where he was born. Look away. Where he would take his stand. Away. Where he would live and die. In Dixie. Away, away, away, down south in Dixie.


	8. Back to Good

**A/N: The same old same old. WARNING: Explicit Content and Mature Subject Matter. Also, please do not send a rabid pack of baby foxes after me. Thank you all for reading and/or reviewing. Your encouragement is so very special to me. Enjoy!**

"Shades of shame, yeah but looking inside we're the same, We're the same and we're all grown now . . ." Matchbox 20

Chapter 7

Back to Good

Rock Creek, Nebraska

September 1862

Ike walked onto his porch and sat down in one of the rocking chairs there. He rocked and thought about Emily. About how much he loved her. He just didn't know what else to do. Ike was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear Emily come out onto the porch. Emily walked over and put her hand on Ike's shoulder. Ike stood up and looked at his wife. He didn't want to fight tonight. He just wanted to . . .

"Ike, are you alright? You look . . . you look like you're upset. Or were. Is everything alright? Is everyone alright?" Emily asked with a sad and concerned tone to her voice.

"Yes honey. Everything is fine. Well, as fine is it can be. Kid was in a mood earlier. Lou rode out and wasn't back yet. I'm sure Buck went out after her. He doesn't like when one of us is not home." Ike signed to Emily. "Kid actually glared at Buck. I know he and Lou are pretty much over but that's not any of our faults. I just wish he would get himself together." Ike moved to close the distance between himself and Emily. Emily stood and let Ike put his arms around her.

"You're right." Emily hugged Ike and moved out of his arms.

"I love you Emily." Ike signed as he turned to go into the house. There was no fighting. That was a start.

"I love you too, Ike." Emily said, almost in a whisper.

Buck easily found Louise's tracks. He smiled wearily when he figured out where she had gone. He wasn't sure that spot was a good thing or not. He came up and hobbled his horse near Lightning, the two old friends greeting each other with a whinny. Buck chuckled at their antics. He walked over and leaned against a tree. There she was. There by the tree. Lying against the tree; dozing. He didn't have the heart to wake her. He just stood there for several long minutes gazing at her. Finally he walked off and gathered wood for a fire. Once he had enough wood, he decided to wake her. He sat next to her and gently brushed the stray hair out of her face.

"Louise. Louise, honey, wake up." Buck spoke soft and gently. He ran his hand down her arm and gently shook her. Lou smiled and opened her eyes. She was looking directly into Buck's eyes. They stared at each other. After a few minutes, Buck moved to start a fire.

"How did I know you would be the one to find me." Louise jokingly said to Buck with a smile. Buck chuckled.

"Just lucky I guess. Besides, you know I don't like it when one of us is not at home when they should be. I saw you ride out and when you hadn't come home at dinner, I couldn't just leave you out here. I got Rachel to make us some sandwich's. Teresa had dinner and is staying at Susanna's. Jeremiah ate at Rachel's and was in the bunkhouse reading when I let him know I was riding out after you." Buck layed down, propped up on his left elbow as he spoke. Louise sat up straighter and criss-crossed her legs. Lou realized that Buck had checked on her entire family before coming to find her. She loved that about Buck. He was always thinking of everyone else.

"Did he come back to the house yet?" Louise asked. Buck knew who she meant. Everyone knew the marriage was over, including them. However, no one was making any moves to do anything about it.

"Yea. He came riding up about the time you rode out. I went in the barn to ask him how everything was. He cut his eyes at me and said everything was fine. He glared at me when I told him that I was just asking and meant no harm. He walked into the house after that." Buck replied. Louise nodded. She knew there was something else that Buck wasn't saying.

Buck got up and grabbed the canteens with the lemonade and the food package from Rachel. They enjoyed the sandwich's, pickles, and cheese. They saved the fruit for later. The pair spoke back and forth about the ranch and the business. Their ranch had become known at most of the auctions for the best horses in the territory. Teaspoon and Jimmy were even in negotiations with a couple of private buyers.

The talked about Teresa and her schooling. They also spoke about Jeremiah. Buck expressed how proud he was of the man Jeremiah had become. He was proving to be very responsible and reliable with the ranch and business. He was serious with his relationship with Lydia and showed just how much he respected her by wanting her to finish her education. Louise agreed with him and cried a little at just how much he had grown up.

"Buck, I just want to thank you." Louise said suddenly.

"Thank me? For what?" Buck asked. He was genuinely curious as to what someone would thank him for.

"Thank you. For looking out for us. For checking up on me. For checking on the kids. Loving them. Helping to build this ranch into what it has become. Being the wonderful, sensitive man that you are. Thank you." Louise said as she looked into his eyes. Louise thought she saw tears forming in his eyes. The pair sat in a comfortable silence for a little while.

"Lou, uh Louise. I really appreciate the compliments but, I'm not worthy of such words. I'm just a man. You are right about one thing. I do love all of you. The boys, you, Emily, Amanda, the kids. We are a family. I can't imagine my life without any of you in it. Everyday. All I ever wanted is here. I have my dream job owning part of the ranch. I have all of you. The only thing that makes me happy is all of you being happy." Buck sat and stared at the fire. He was trying to choose his next words carefully. "My only wish right now is that. . .The only thing that would make me happier is . . .is . . .is if you were completely happy."

Louise felt a tear fall down her cheek. She lowered her head and took a deep breath. Buck was right. She wasn't completely happy. Granted there was only one part of her life that made her unhappy. Everything else about her life was exactly the way she wanted and hoped for. Her marriage however, was over.

"That's sweet Buck. I'm sorry that our problems are affecting everyone else. I don't even know what went wrong between us. We were so happy. And then, he was so distant. Distracted. Then, that night happened. I got pregnant that night. Things seemed to go back to normal. We had so much fun at Jimmy and Amanda's wedding. And then. Then . . ." Lou stopped speaking. She was choked with emotion. Buck slid over and pulled her into his chest. She cried for a few minutes. Buck just held her. When Lou had stopped, she sat up slightly. She kept her head leaning on Buck's shoulder.

"Lou, you said something about 'that night happened' and you got pregnant that night. What happened? I know something happened." Buck asked, trying to keep his voice calm. Louise looked up at him. She looked into his eyes and saw worry and concern.

"How do you know something happened Buck?" Louise asked. She was afraid that Buck would think badly of her. Even though he already knew the fact that she was raped, she didn't want him to be mad that it had basically happened again. Although it wasn't brutal or violent, she still had not wanted it. Not like that.

"You remember when Kid and I went out to collect some stock. I asked him how everything was going. He had been so out of sorts and not himself. He told me a few things. But he also said that he had done something horrible that night. He wouldn't say what. He said you all were moving past it and that's all he would say. I never got an answer." Buck began stroking his hand on the side of her face. Slowly pulling the hair back out of her eyes. Louise took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Buck, I don't want you to think badly of me. Or him. Things may be over between us but what happened that night is not the reason." Lou just stared into the fire. Buck just sat and listened. He was sure he wasn't going to like this.

"Lou, I can't promise that I won't be mad or upset. But I will promise you that nothing will change the way I feel about you. Kid, I can't promise anything just because of the way he's been treating everyone including you. I want to be there for you." Buck pulled her closer into a side hug. He couldn't believe how strong this woman was. She was amazing.

"Well, Buck. Uhm. That night, the night after we had a fight. I know you boys went to the saloon. I went up to our room and got ready for bed. I cried myself to sleep I guess. I laid down and the next thing I remember is . . . is. . .kissing. Kid was on top of me, kissing me, roughly. He was . . . he completely ignored me and what I wanted. He just . . . got what he wanted. Took what he wanted. He just pulled my nightgown up around my waist and took it. Took me." Louise continued to stare ahead. She was afraid to look to look at Buck. Afraid to see the look in his eyes. "When he was finished, he rolled over off of me and fell asleep. I just curled up and cried. That's why I rode out the next day. It wasn't rape but I sure wasn't a willing party. I forgave him and we slowly moved past it, but it did happen."

Buck was angry. He was furious. How could Kid have done that. Kid knew what Louise had endured at the hands of that madman Wicks. He knew what had happened to Buck's mother and that Buck had been the result of that incident. Buck couldn't understand what would make a man want to force himself on a woman. Now it made sense why Louise had asked him all those questions about marriage and the Kiowa. She was telling herself that letting Kid have his way with her was what she was supposed to do as his wife. Buck now understood. He couldn't take his anger out on Louise; she was a victim in all of this. He was amazed that Lou had been able to move past it at all, much less forgive him. Buck realized that his right hand was balled into a fist. He continued to hug Louise. He felt her tears dampening the area of his shirt on his shoulder. He took some slow deep breaths and fought the tears that formed in his eyes. He had to be strong for her right now.

"I'm so, so sorry. I am so sorry that you had to endure that again. Especially at the hands of your husband. You don't deserve..." Buck was saying as Louise interrupted him.

"I'm his wife Buck. That's what is expected of me. The wife is to submit to her husband . . ." Louise was cut off.

"OH horse shit Lou! He RAPED YOU!" Buck realized he was yelling. He stood up and took some deep breaths. He paced back and forth trying to control his anger and his emotion. "You may be his wife. He may be the head of the house and all that. But that is not submission. Taking something from someone is not that person submitting." Buck paused. He was trying to keep himself under control. He stopped and knelt down in front of her. "Lou. Louise. You have somehow managed to convince yourself that what happened is a part of marriage. And that may be how it is for some marriages. But not all of them. That's not how it should be. You know that. Tell me Louise, why haven't things gone back to normal? Why have you and Kid grown apart. It's not all because you lost the baby. You know he blames you for not being a proper lady and you are scared that it will happen again. The Louise I know . . . the Louise I know wouldn't give up or give in like that."

Louise took a few minutes. She processed everything that Buck had said. She knew he was right. That night had stolen so much from her. She needed to let her grief go. Needed to let her anger and darkness go.

"You're right Buck. I am scared. Scared that it will happen again. Scared that I won't be able to have a baby. Scared that this hell will happen again. Scared of everything. I loved him so much. Why isn't that enough? I thought we would conquer the world together. But now. . . Now I don't even want to look his way. All I see is contempt and judgment." Louise spoke barely above a whisper. She raised her head and looked into Buck's eyes with unshed tears.

"I don't have an answer Louise. I'm sorry this happened. All of it. That night. The loss of the baby. Everything with the Kid. I'm sorry about all of it. I'm sorry for yelling at you. It's not your fault. I lo. . . I care about you very much." Buck spoke softly to Louise. He couldn't believe he had almost told her the truth. His true feelings for her.

Louise smiled slightly. Buck patted her knee. He then stood and went to get their bed rolls and laid them out by the fire. He made sure the horses were okay and then came back to where Louise was still sitting by the fire. He saw her internal struggle. He knew her like he knew himself. He busied himself making sure the fire was okay and took out the fruit from his saddlebag. He sat out the fruit on his blanket and then got up to go pee. He walked a little ways away and took care of business. He came back a few minutes later and found Louise gone. He stopped in his tracks and looked around. He took a few steps towards the camp to see if he could find anything. He was just about to call out to her when he saw a shadow move on his right. He turned to face the shadow and realized that Louise was standing there. He stood there. Looking at her. Louise walked up to Buck and put her arms around him. Buck returned the hug. The held each other close for a few minutes. Buck inhaled her scent. He just held her close. Louise pulled away and stood up on her tip toes. She brushed her lips against his. Softly. Tenderly. Lovingly. Buck felt the fire and electricity in that moment. He slightly puckered his lips and gently kissed her back. Louise pulled back slightly and flattened her feet. Buck opened his mouth to say something and Louise placed her fingers on his lips. Her touch sent warmth and fire through his body. He closed his eyes and tried to remain composed. He couldn't believe that Louise had just kissed him. Not just a friendly kiss on the cheek. A soft, gentle kiss. A kiss that sent electricity through him.

"Thank you Buck. For everything." Louise said barely above a whisper. She went over and laid down on her bedroll. Buck took a moment to steady himself. He then took a deep breath and went to his bedroll. He laid down and put his hands behind his head. He heard Louise's even breathing and knew she was asleep. He thought about the events and conversation of the evening. He knew that he had to bury his feelings for Louise. She was a married woman, even if everyone knew the marriage was over. He couldn't betray his friend like that. His friends. Louise was one of his best friends. They were all closer than family. He wouldn't be blamed for the failure of her marriage. No. He would have to forget how he felt about her.

The next morning dawned bright and clear. Buck awoke to the smell of coffee. He rolled over and saw Louise pouring two cups of coffee.

"Mornin'." Louise said as she handed Buck a cup. Buck sat up and took the steaming cup. "I meant what I said last night Buck. Thank you. For everything. I know now what I need to do. I need to be myself again. I'm so glad that I have a best friend like you to help knock some sense into me."

"You're welcome Lou. Anytime." Buck replied. He smiled as he thought about how nice it was to realize everything was just fine. There was no weirdness between them. No awkward anything. Things were exactly as they had always been. After they finished their coffee they both mounted up and rode home.

Jeremiah came into the barn as Lou and Buck were cooling down their horses. He started his daily chores and smiled at the pair. The group made small talk and soon Ike and Jimmy had walked into the barn. They decided that Ike and Buck would ride the north fence line while Jeremiah and Jimmy went to check the south pasture and the stock there. As the boys mounted up and headed out, Louise headed for her house. She went in and looked around. She didn't hear anything and nothing looked out of place so she figured Kid must have already left for the day. She headed upstairs and into her room. She realized that the bed had not been slept in. There was an envelope on her pillow. She stood staring at it for a few minutes. Eventually she moved toward the bed and picked up the envelope with her name on it. She sat down on the bed and opened the letter. She took a deep breath and began to read.

_Louise,_

_By the time you read this I will be long gone on my way back to Virginia. I have decided that I can no longer deny the call on my heart to go and fight. _

_I loved you so much. You are full of fire and spirit. You are strong and independent. You were so different from everything I have ever known. I loved you the moment I found out that you were a woman. I believed in our future. I believed in us. _

_When the war started, I thought I could stay here and just be happy. Then the war dragged on, and my loyalty to my family and the land where I was born and raised called to me. I thought about whether or not to fight for a long time. That night that happened between us was me trying to forget. Trying to fight the pull. I thought that by you getting pregnant, I would have a reason to stay. Once you told me you were pregnant, I realized the baby had been conceived that night. Maybe something good would come out of that horrible act. After time though, I realized that I really wasn't ready to be a father and that the decision to fight was taken out of my hands. I didn't want our baby to die, but I was relieved. I was relieved to know that we were able to continue on with our lives before being tied down. I was angry for feeling relieved. I was sad for the loss of the baby. I couldn't help you because I didn't know how to help you. _

_You are a lady and I want you to act like a lady. I want you to wear dresses and underpinnings. I want you to keep house and join the ladies social. I want you to be a real lady. If you had been keeping house and not trying to do everything, our baby would still be alive. I may be wrong but ladies need to be ladies and support their husbands from their place in the house. You tried to be yourself, to work beside us, to be an equal with me and the boys. Look where it got you. We lost our baby and each other. I realize that you will never be one of those ladies. It's just not who you are._

_I will always care for you and love you in a very special way. However, I am not coming back. After the war, I plan on staying home in Virginia. I will send for Katie once the war is over and I get settled. I know now that Virginia will always be my home and I can't deny that any longer. _

_I wish you and the boys the best of luck with the ranch and all the happiness that you all deserve. I will always remember all of you very fondly. _

_Sincerely,_

_Kid_

Louise folded the letter back up and put it in the envelope. Tears slid down her cheeks as she continued to sit there. She just stared and let the tears roll down her cheeks. It was over.

Jimmy, Buck, Ike, and Jeremiah headed over to The Manor for lunch. They enjoyed chicken pot pie that Emily had made and some lemonade. The conversation was easy and light. Jeremiah commented on not seeing Kid's tack in the tack room earlier. No one had seen Kid that day and they were beginning to wonder if something was wrong. When Louise didn't show up before they finished lunch, concern etched into their faces. It was decided that Jeremiah would exercise the stock in the main corral while Buck and Ike finished the north fence line. Jimmy was going to check on Kid and Louise. He wanted to make sure everything was okay. Jimmy noticed that Bucks jaw was tight from worry.

Everyone thanked Emily for the great lunch. Ike went over and kissed his wife. Jeremiah headed for the corral. Buck and Ike mounted up and headed for the north fence. Jimmy headed for the Big House. He saw Rachel driving up in the wagon with a chatting Teresa at her side. He stopped and waited for them to stop the wagon. He helped them down and hugged them both. Jimmy quickly explained to Rachel that Lou hadn't come to The Manor for lunch and that no one had seen Kid that day. Jimmy reassured them that he was going over to make sure everything was okay. Rachel smiled and asked Teresa if she would stay and give her a hand with some mending and sewing. Teresa nodded in agreement.

Jimmy walked into The Big House. He could see nothing out of place. In fact, nothing was disturbed. As if no one was there. Jimmy walked slowly through the house. When he didn't see anything, he headed up the stairs. He stopped outside their bedroom. He didn't hear anything so he knocked lightly on the door as he pushed it open. He saw Louise sitting on the bed. He could tell she was crying. He walked up and crouched in front of her.

"Louise. Lou are you all right?" Jimmy asked her. He put his hands on her knees. He noticed she didn't flinch or waver.

"He's gone." Louise said, barely above a whisper.

"Who's gone? What's happened Lou?" Jimmy spoke softy to her.

"Kid. He's gone. He left to go to war and he's not coming back." Louise again spoke barely above a whisper. Tears continued to wet her cheeks. "He left that letter on my pillow."

Jimmy reached over and picked up the letter off the nightstand. He stood up and moved to sit in the chair facing Lou. He took the letter from the envelope and unfolded it. He read the letter and tried to keep calm. Jimmy folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. He placed the letter back on the nightstand and again crouched in front of Louise. He took her hands in his and kissed each one.

"Louise, I'm so sorry." Jimmy said tenderly. He paused, knowing that anything he said next would sound insincere. "You know we are here for you. For anything and everything." Jimmy stood up and put his hands on Lou's shoulders. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. Louise still had not moved. She had not flinched. Jimmy slowly walked out of the room and down the stairs. He walked out of the house and down into the barn.

Ike and Buck came riding up and took their horses into the barn to cool them down. They saw Jimmy sitting on a bale of hay. They called a greeting and realized something was wrong when Jimmy didn't return the greeting. They both put down their brushes and went over to Jimmy. They saw the look on his face. A mixture of anger, fear, sadness, and relief.

"He's gone." Jimmy muttered. He looked up at his friends. "Kids gone. He left. He left to fight in the war. Left Lou a letter on their bed."

The color drained out of both Ike's and Buck's faces. They couldn't believe what was happening. Kid had just left. Abandoned all of them and especially Lou. What was going on?

"Jimmy. Are you sure? Are you sure that he's gone?" Buck asked as calmly as he could. Jimmy looked at Buck and immediately knew that reason why that particular question was asked. Buck was in love with Lou.

"I read the letter myself. He wrote some pretty hateful things. Bottom line is he's gone and he's not coming back." Jimmy stood up as he spoke the last part. He had a suspicion that Buck had more than just friendly feelings for Lou, but he had never been sure. Now he knew beyond a doubt. The look of both love and concern shone through Buck's eyes. "He wrote in the letter that he plans to stay in Virginia after the war. He also said he would send for Katie when he got settled."

Ike hung and shook his head. He then headed out of the barn. He heard Buck and Jimmy calling him, but he didn't stop. He wasn't even sure where he was going, he just knew that he needed to be alone. Buck and Jimmy stood there and watched Ike leave. Neither said anything for a few minutes. Then, Jeremiah came through the doors pulling on his gloves. He stopped suddenly when he saw Jimmy and Buck standing there looking his way.

"What? What did I do?" Jeremiah said nervously. He looked at one and then the other and back again. He was trying to quickly think about whether or not he could be in trouble.

"Nothing Jeremiah. You haven't done anything." Buck said to the young man. He saw relief go across Jeremiah's face. Buck knew they needed to tell Jeremiah about Kid. He wasn't sure how Lou was and didn't want to blindside either one of them to blindside the other with an off the cuff remark. "Jeremiah, come over here. We need to talk to you. What we have to say is serious and we need your attention."

Jeremiah walked over to the men and gave them his attention. He was starting to get concerned and worried something had happened. He saw Jimmy rub his hand across the back of his neck the way he did when he was nervous. He saw Buck looking at Jimmy, nodding when Jimmy looked at him seeking reassurance.

"Uh, Jeremiah. There's no easy way to say this." Jimmy took a deep breath and let it out. "Kid left. He's gone."

"What do you mean? Was there an auction or something?" Jeremiah asked. He didn't understand what the big deal was. If he just went to an auction or something, what was the problem? He would be gone a few days and then come home.

"Uhm, no. There is no auction. He, uh, left your sister. He's gone to fight in the war. He went to Virginia and said he wasn't coming back." Jimmy spoke softly to the boy. Even though he was 16 years old and had proven himself to be a man of honor and integrity, he was still a boy in many ways. Jimmy saw the shock on Jeremiah's face turn into tears filling his eyes. "He left a letter for Louise. I'm sorry Jeremiah. I know how much he meant to you."

Jeremiah sat down on the bale of hay. He wiped the tears from his eyes. He knew that Kid and Louise were having problems and that their marriage wasn't good, but he never imagined that Kid would leave. He thought about Teresa and of Louise. How would they be a family now?

"How is Louise?" Buck asked, breaking the silence. He knew that this was going to take time. As much as he wanted to run into that house and take Louise into his arms and tell her everything was going to be alright while passionately kissing her, he knew now was not the time.

"She seems to be in shock. She was just sitting there silently crying." Jimmy replied. He also felt the need to get out of there and think. "I'll see you guys later." Jimmy turned and walked out of the barn, heading for Teaspoon's office.

Buck put his hand on Jeremiah's shoulder. He took several deep breaths. He knew he needed to go and tell Rachel and Teresa. Buck wanted Louise to take as long as she needed to. He wanted her to sort out her feelings and deal with things in a supportive environment. He wanted to be a part of that support system in any way he could.

Buck turned and walked out of the barn heading toward the Main House. He knew Teresa was there with Rachel. Buck and both Jeremiah and Teresa had become very close over the last year. He was proud to call them family. He climbed the steps of the porch and knocked on the door. He heard Rachel call to come in so he opened the door and stepped inside. He took off his hat and hung it on the rack just inside the door. He walked into the kitchen and smelled the sweet smells of cookies.

Buck rounded the corner inhaling a deep breath. The smell was mouth watering. He saw the pair laughing and finishing up their goodies. Rachel looked up and saw Buck standing there. She noticed the look on his face and knew something was wrong.

"Hey Buck. What's going on? What's wrong?" Rachel asked. Buck looked at Rachel and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew this was going to be hard. Teresa was still young and she adored Kid. Lately Kid had not been spending as much with Teresa. She hadn't said anything but Buck could see the hurt in her eyes. Teresa had started to spend even more time with Jimmy, Ike, Jeremiah, and even Teaspoon. But mostly Buck.

"Rachel, uhm, can you and Teresa come and sit down in here. Please. I need to talk to both of you." Buck said as calmly as possible. He turned and walked into the parlor. Rachel and Teresa followed after. Buck sat down in the chair. Teresa and Rachel sat down on the couch facing Buck. Both ladies were starting to get nervous.

"Uhm, Rachel, Teresa. There's something I have to tell you both and it's not easy. Jimmy told Ike and myself earlier. Jimmy and I told Jeremiah. Uh. Uhm." Buck looked at the floor and wrung his hands. He took a deep breath. "Kid left. He wrote Louise a letter and left to go to Virginia to fight in the war. He wrote that he was not coming back and wished us all the best."

Buck watched as the blood drained out of Rachel's face and Teresa started to sob. Teresa buried her face in her hands and cried. Buck got up and went to Teresa. He lifted her up and into his lap. She buried her face into the crook of his neck and continued to cry. Rachel just sat there, stunned. Buck reached out and held Rachel's hand. After a little while, Teresa mumbled something. Buck asked her to repeat herself and listened closely.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault." Teresa said between heaving breaths.

"What's your fault honey?" Rachel asked. Rachel was now coming back to herself from being in shock. She knew this was coming but she figured the two of them would at least part ways amicably.

"Everything! It's all my fault. If I hadn't have left Louise to go and take lunch to the jail, I would have been there. She wouldn't have lost the baby. Then, Kid wouldn't have left. It's all MY FAULT!" Teresa wailed. Rachel started crying at the girls words. She hadn't realized that Teresa even carried guilt.

"Syân já̱ (Little Star). None of this is your fault. Do you hear me. There is nothing any of us could have done to stop what happened to the baby. It's no one's fault. I mean it." Buck spoke calmly and plainly. Teresa raised her head to face him. She knew that Buck would only speak the truth. "As far as Kid and Louise, that's between them. Their problems have nothing to do with any of us. It's just something Kid had to do. He felt like the war was important. All you need to worry about is going to school, baking me cookies, riding your horse, baking me a cake, and being the best Teresa you can be."

Teresa smiled at his light hearted joke. She knew that he loved her baking. She felt a tremendous weight lift off of her. Buck would never lie to her. She was sure of that.

"Are we all still a family?" Teresa asked while calming herself and wiping away the tears.

"Of course we are. All of us are a family. Everyone that lives on this ranch plus Cody and Noah and Cassie. We are all a family. That will never change. I promise." Buck replied. He leaned in and tapped her nose. Then he gave her a quick hug. "I think I should let you ladies go back to that baking. You feeling better now?" Buck stood up and walked with Rachel and Teresa back to the kitchen. He grabbed a cookie while Teresa nodded and smiled slightly.

Louise sat there for what seemed like eternity. She let the tears flow unbridled down her cheeks. She took the letter off the nightstand and read it again. She folded it once again and put it back in the envelope. She knew her marriage was over. She had known for more than a month now. She loved Kid but was not in love with him anymore. She didn't even like him anymore. The way he passed judgment on her. The way he sulked around with a chip on his shoulder. That chip had never been there before the war. His damned sense of honor and pride that she never could understand. She understood fighting for your home. Hell, she'd fight tooth and nail for that ranch if need be. But wasn't this ranch his home now? Wasn't she his family now? And he had just left at the first sign of hardship. She knew that she had been a mess and basket case after the miscarriage, but he hadn't tried to help her. He'd even told anyone that would listen that it had been her fault because she wasn't keeping house like he wanted her to. He was gone. She realized that she wasn't sad. She wasn't sad that her marriage was over. She wasn't sad that Kid had left. She realized that her tears were not from sadness; they were from relief. She was relieved that she now was free. Free to be herself without judgment. Free to live. Free of fear of him ever recreating that night. She was free.

Louise stood up and went to the wash stand. She washed her face and then went and looked out the window. She didn't see anyone. She knew Jimmy had probably told everyone by now. She knew that it would take a while for everything to go back to normal, but she was going to try and get through it the best she knew how. And that was going back to doing things the way she had always done them. She made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. She started making a hearty chili and put on an apple pie. While the pie was in the oven, she headed for the barn.

Louise found Jeremiah brushing down Herc. She could hear him softly talking to Herc. She walked over to Katie's stall and rubbed her nose. She leaned her head down and touched Katie with her forehead. Then she walked over to Herc's stall.

"Jeremiah." Louise spoke softly to not startle him too badly. Jeremiah stopped what he was doing and turned to face her. He dropped the brush and ran to her. He grabbed her and pulled her into a crushing embrace. "I'm okay. I'm alright Jeremiah. I promise."

"Louise, I'm so sorry." Jeremiah said to her. Even though she had just told him she was alright, he wanted to be sure. The only way he knew for sure was to watch her reaction. "Jimmy told me and Buck."

"It's okay Jeremiah. I knew this day was coming. I just didn't think it would be today. But I promise we are still a family and nothing is going to change that." Louise held him by the shoulders as she spoke so that he could see in her eyes that she was serious. "Now, I've got supper cooking. Make sure you're washed up and get Teresa too. Oh, and make sure you bring Buck too."


	9. A Friend To Me

**A/N: The usual blah blah blah. Thanks to everyone who is still reading the story and/or reviewing. I sincerely appreciate it. WARNING: Explicit Content and Subject Matter.**

Well you and I, we're buddies : And we've been since we first met : Me and you, well we've sure been through : Our share of laughter and regret

Lord knows we've had our bad days : And more than once we've disagreed : But you've always been a friend to me

~ Garth Brooks

Chapter 8

A Friend To Me

Rock Creek, Nebraska

November 1862

"Hey Jimmy, Ike. I was thinking. Maybe we should keep a couple of those studs. If we take too many then we may get in a bind come season. What do you guys think?" Buck asked as he came in with the last of the stock. Jimmy and Ike looked up from where they were putting away tack.

"I thought about that too. I think we should keep a couple. I mean, even if we weren't going to this auction, we are still ahead on the ranch. Business is great. So, let's be able to double the profit next year by having more stock to sell." Ike signed. The three men conversed in the barn. Jimmy leaned against a stall door. Ike and Buck leaned against middle support beams.

"Agreed. We leave in a couple of days for the auction. Who is going this time?" Jimmy asked. The group tended to rotate on going to auctions. That way all the work wasn't put on one person. Sometimes only two of them would go but the larger auctions required three.

"Uhm, I think it's you, Ike and Jeremiah this time. Me and Jeremiah went last time." Buck stated. He was looking forward to not going this time. The guys would be gone at least a week. Ike nodded indicating that Buck was right. "I think it's about supper time guys. Let's get washed up before the girls come and get us."

"You're right Buck. Amanda said she had a special dinner for us tonight. She wanted it to be just the two of us. I guess since tomorrow night I'm at the jail and leaving the next for the auction. See you boys in the morning." Jimmy said. He stood up and walked out of the barn headed towards his house. He went into his house and hung his hat and gun belts on the rack beside the door. He went into the mud room and washed his hands and face. He heard Amanda inside the kitchen humming. He smiled as he thought about how his life had turned out. He never believed he would have anything close to what he had right now.

Jimmy and Amanda shared a great dinner. They drank a bottle of wine. They laughed and talked about the future. They loved each other all through the night. Both knowing that they deserved each other and all the happiness that they had, even though they never thought they would have it.

"So, Ike. . . How are things? You know at home. With Emily?" Buck asked his brother. Ike had been much more open the last month. Ike had shared with Buck that Emily had taken Lou's miscarriage much harder than originally thought. They had been fighting so much that Ike didn't know which end was up.

"They're okay, I guess." Ike signed in reply to his friend. Buck went over and sat down on a bale of hay. "I mean, we aren't fighting like we were. She seems to be a little more loving. We haven't had sex in a while, but we aren't fighting to the point I am sleeping in another room. So, it's a start."

Buck sighed. He was glad that Ike and Emily were working things out and moving forward. It had been five months since Louise had lost the baby. Two months since Kid had left. The girls were as close as ever. The boys were too. They were all much closer than any blood family could ever be. The ranch was one of the largest in the territory with the best reputation. All of the former riders were doing very well to be only 21 years old.

"Our anniversary is in a couple of weeks. Would you guys be okay if Emily and I went to St. Joe for a couple of days? Maybe if we get away, we can start over?" Ike signed. Buck could see the hope in Ike's eyes.

"You know we can. It's no problem. I think you guys going away would be great." Buck said to his friend.

"So, how are things with Lou?" Ike signed his question to Buck.

"What do you mean?" Buck asked in surprise.

"You know. You and Lou. How are things going?" Ike signed with a sly grin.

"There is no me and Lou." Buck said in reply.

"Uhm, okay. So, you haven't been having dinner at her house or with her every night for the last two months?" Ike signed. He knew the answer. He knew Buck was in love with Lou. He had known for years. He also knew Buck's honor wouldn't let him sleep with his friends wife. So, he watched Buck suffer in silence. Until Kid left. Now Buck was more relaxed. He had dinner with the Lou and kids every night, and if dinner was at someone else's house, they were sitting next to each other. It was so obvious to everyone but them.

"Yes, I have been having dinner with her and the kids. But so what. That doesn't mean anything." Buck said defensively. He knew Ike knew how he felt. He saw the look on Ike's face that said 'don't lie to me'. "You're right Ike. I love her. But it can't be anything else."

"Why not? She loves you too. Everyone can see that." Ike signed. He grinned knowing Buck had no clue. Buck had absolutely no clue how Lou felt about him.

"Well, for starters, she is a married woman. Second, how can I expect any self respecting white woman to even look my way like that. Don't you remember what happened with Kathleen? With Jenny? I mean, any white woman that has paid attention to me has been a disaster." Buck's speech got softer as he spoke.

"Kid's gone. He told her he wasn't coming back. She's no more married than you are. At least to her." Ike signed.

"Ike, she's still married legally. Even if she wanted me like that, which she doesn't, but even if she did, I won't ruin her standing in the community or the ranch's reputation like that. I can live with being her friend. I can live with being her shoulder to cry on. I can live with all that as long as I can see her. I just want to be near her." Buck said with some emotion in his voice. He hung his head. He was trying to keep a hold on his emotions when it came to Louise. He couldn't let his feelings and emotions get out of hand.

"Well, I hope you figure it out soon Buck. She loves you as much as you love her. Everyone knows that. But you. I understand what you are saying. But the sooner you figure it out, the happier the both of you will be." Ike signed to his brother. He went over to Buck and put his hand on his shoulder. He squeezed slightly letting his friend know that it would all work out in the end. "I'm going home. I'll see you in the morning."

"Have a good night Ike. See you in the morning." Buck said as his brother walked out of the barn. Buck sat there thinking for a few minutes. How was he going to live everyday next to her. How was he going to look at her every day and not want to kiss her, hold her, touch her. . . He heard Louise call for him. He smiled knowing that she wanted him to come in for dinner. They had fallen into a routine. He stood up and headed to the house.

Talk around the dinner table was light. Louise asked Buck about Emily and Ike. Shortly after Kid left, Buck told Louise about how hard Emily had taken the miscarriage and it was affecting the marriage. Louise went to Emily and they had a good long talk and cry. Buck told Lou that they were doing much better and that Ike had asked about taking an anniversary trip to St. Joe. Soon, the dishes were being cleared and Teresa went to her room to study. Jeremiah hugged Louise good night and headed for the bunkhouse. Louise met Buck in the parlor with cups of coffee. They discussed Teresa's upcoming thirteenth birthday. They were planning a surprise party for her with all the family and a few of her friends from school. Louise sat next to Buck and as they talked, she put her head on his shoulder. They sat there making plans: Rachel would make her famous chocolate cake, Buck would take her on a ride while Louise and Emily got everything set up. Louise was picking up Teresa's gift tomorrow from Thompkin's. Buck and Louise had gone in together and gotten Teresa a beautiful pink and cream cameo with matching pink and cream ribbons. To go with the cameo, they bought her a pair of silver hair combs and a new silver vanity set. Teresa's monogram would be engraved on the back of the mirror and brush. Since she was turning thirteen, Louise wanted to make a big deal.

Buck put his arm around Lou's shoulders and she snuggled up next him. The sat and watched the fire together. Buck realized Lou was drifting off to sleep. He gently picked her up and carried her upstairs to her room. He laid her down on the bed and pulled the blanket up to cover her. Lou reached up and caressed his cheek with her hand. Buck stopped for a moment and leaned into the touch.

"Goodnight Lou." Buck said softly as he pulled away. He walked out of the room and made sure the fire was out and blew out the lamps. He secured the house before heading to the bunkhouse.

The day of the party arrived a couple of weeks later. Buck asked Teresa to go for a ride to gather some herbs after lunch. Teresa squealed with delight at the thought. The small family finished up breakfast. The boys headed out to do the chores. The girls worked on some mending. Teresa made some sandwiches and fried up some potatoes for lunch. Jeremiah and Buck came in and they had a light lunch. Buck and Teresa headed out to the barn to saddle Firefly and Warrior for their ride. Louise went to work cooking up supper for the party. Emily arrived shortly after and helped put up some flowers and the fancy tablecloth and napkins. Amanda came in a little while later and helped set the table. Lou was finishing the chicken and dumplings and green beans. Rachel and Teaspoon arrived with the cake. Teresa's friends Susanna and Beth arrived. Jimmy, Jeremiah, and Ike came in after putting up their horses. Now, everyone waited for the birthday girl.

Buck and Teresa stopped and gathered multiple herbs and plants for Buck's stock. They talked about school and the ranch. Buck smiled and watched Teresa gather some wild daisy's. She was so curious and thoughtful. So innocent. The pair spoke in Kiowa during their ride. Suddenly, Buck's instincts took over and he knew they were being watched. He told Teresa to come back over to him. He pulled his gun and rested it in his hand. He scanned the surroundings for any movement. Teresa just stood next Buck, knowing that he meant business. After a few minutes, two young Indian braves came out from the tree line. Buck holstered his gun. The two boys approached Buck and Teresa.

"Hello. My name is Gray Wolf. This is my brother Red Hawk. We heard talking and wanted to see who it was. You and the white girl speak Kiowa. How?" Gray Wolf spoke to Buck in Kiowa. Buck visibly relaxed as he realized they were boys being curious. They couldn't have been more than thirteen or fourteen themselves.

"My name is Running Buck Cross. This is my friend who is like a sister to me. Her name is Teresa. I call her Syân já̱ (Little Star) since she has been a beautiful light in our lives. I taught her and the rest of our family to speak Kiowa so that they could help anyone if they need it. My brother is War Chief Red Bear." Buck spoke to the boys in Kiowa. He smiled as the boys eyes got big when he mentioned Red Bear. "I am a member of the Tdien-Pei-Gah."

"Then you know our father, Standing Elk. We have just finished the first and second trials." Red Hawk spoke to Buck. Buck smiled at the name. He and Standing Elk had become friends while Buck had been visiting.

"Yes I know your father. He's a good man." Buck said to the boys.

"Today is my birthday. Would you like to come to our ranch and have supper with us?" Teresa spoke up and asked in Kiowa. The boys turned to look at her. She smiled shyly at the two handsome boys.

Gray Wolf was just shorter than Buck. He had a slender build and shoulder length black hair and dark brown eyes. He wore buckskin pants and shirt. Red Hawk was about the same height as Buck. His had a stocky build and already had well defined musculature. His blue black hair was longer then his brothers and he had half pulled back with a hawk's feather attached since he was the older of the two. He also wore a buckskin pants and shirt. His light hazel colored eyes were brilliant.

"We must get back to the village but thank you for the invitation. We wish you a happy day and hope to see you again." Red Hawk spoke while smiling at Teresa. Teresa blushed and turned her head into her shoulder. Buck raised an eye brow at the exchange between the two young people.

"Our ranch is about 10 miles to the east. It's the Bar PXF. You are welcome anytime. Be careful going home. Tell Red Bear and Standing Elk I said hello and I wish them well." Buck said to the boys.

"Thank you for your kindness. We hope to visit someday. We hope that you can come to the village and bring your family with you. I will tell my father and Chief Red Bear that we spoke and that you wish them well." Red Hawk shook Buck's hand. He turned to Teresa and smiled. "I hope you have a good day today Syân já̱ (Little Star)."

The boys turned and headed back towards their horses hidden in the trees. Buck and Teresa continued their adventure but soon headed home. They quickly took care of their mounts and washed up before heading towards the house. Halfway to the house, Buck tried to contain his smile as he asked Teresa to grab the bag he had left in the barn. She turned and skipped back to the barn. Buck quickly made his way to the house and took his place hiding behind the settee with Lou. As he crouched down Lou reached her hand out and took his hand into hers. He felt the jolt of electricity run thru his hand and up his arm. He squeezed her hand and smiled at her.

"Louise! Buck! I left the bag on the . . ." Teresa was cut off as she walked thru the front door.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone yelled as they jumped up or out of their hiding places. Teresa squealed with delight! Her whole family was there to help her celebrate her birthday. After everyone hugged Teresa, the family and friends sat down to dinner of Teresa's favorites: chicken and dumplings, green beans, honey carrots, and biscuits. Lemonade and sweet tea to drink. Chocolate cake for dessert. As Rachel was cutting the cake, Lou brought out coffee for the adults and milk for the kids.

After cake everyone gathered around for Teresa to open her gifts. Beth gave her lilac water. Susanna gave her rose water. Rachel and Teaspoon gave her a copy of "_Treasure Island"._ Jeremiah gave her a journal with a fancy pen and ink well. Ike and Emily gave her a fancy new dress to wear to the Winter social in a few weeks. It was a wine color with cream lace trim. The bodice was fitted and had a Victorian bustle to the back. All the ladies were fawning over the dress and the girls were giggling. Amanda and Jimmy gave her a new pair of fancy black dress boots, cream wrist length gloves and a wine colored hand bag to go with the dress. The boots even had a one inch heel on them. Buck groaned inwardly at the thought of the boys looking at Teresa. He and Teresa were very close and he considered her his sister in every sense. However, in the last few weeks, he had started seeing her in a more fatherly way. Just like today when he realized that Red Hawk and Teresa were looking very. . . interested in each other. Buck looked over and realized Jeremiah must have the same thoughts since he looked nervous for Teresa to wear the dress.

Louise stood up and asked for everyone's attention. She was tearing up at the thought of Teresa growing up. Jeremiah was turning seventeen next month. Teresa was turning thirteen. She was of age now to start having boys call on her. At fifteen, she could be courted. This was all going so fast.

"On November 17, 1849, I kept Jeremiah company while we waited to hear if we had a baby brother or baby sister. The doctor came out and said that we had a little sister. I went in and held you while our momma got cleaned up. You were so beautiful. Now, you are a young lady. We are a family. No matter what." Louise let the tears flow down her cheeks. Buck handed her a handkerchief. Louise picked up the first package and handed it to Teresa. "This is from me and Buck."

Teresa opened that package with tears forming in her eyes. She pulled out the beautiful silver comb, brush and mirror. She ran her finger along the elegant scroll work and the perfect engraving on the back of the mirror and brush. The tears in her eyes spilled over. Buck picked up the other package and handed it to Teresa.

"This is also from your sister and I. This is just what a beautiful young lady needs." Buck spoke softly. He had tears in his eyes as well.

Teresa took the second package and again unwrapped it gently. She pulled out the delicate cameo. The cream colored silhouette set in a pale pink background trimmed in silver. The ribbons attached were pale pink and cream to interchange as needed. Teresa again ran her fingers along the delicate piece of jewelry. She gasped at the feeling of having her first ever real lady dress, shoes, gloves, vanity set and now a cameo. She realized just how much everyone loved her and she was very overwhelmed. The last few months had been hard for her to deal with. She struggled with wondering how they could be a family without Kid. She loved Buck and saw how much Louise and Buck loved each other. Ike and Emily, Jimmy and Amanda, Rachel and Teaspoon. They all had each other. Shoot, even Jeremiah had Lydia. Who did she have? She often wondered when and if Buck and Louise finally got together, what would happen to her. Now she realized that she would always have each person in that room. They would always have each other.

"Louise, I love you so much. I love you all so much. Thank you for making us a family and for . . . just . . . loving. . . me." Teresa said as she hugged everyone. Pulling Louise into a strong hug, she cried until there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Shortly after Buck and Jimmy escorted Susanna and Beth to their respective houses. The pair stopped at the jail on their way home to make sure everything was okay. Once they were satisfied that the town of Rock Creek was locked up tight, they headed home. Once through the main gate, Jimmy bid goodnight to Buck and headed to The Cottage. Buck headed towards The Big House since he still saw a light on. He walked in and found Louise sitting on the settee with a cup of coffee. He saw another cup sitting on the side table. He smiled and walked over to pick it up. He sat down and reached to put his arm around Lou's shoulders as she snuggled up to him like she did every night. They sat there for a while and enjoyed the unspoken conversation between them.

"Oh. I almost forgot to tell you about the adventure that Teresa and I had today." Buck said after taking the last sip of his coffee. Louise turned her face up to look at him.

"Oh really. What kind of adventure was that?" Louise asked with a playfulness in her voice.

"We were out gathering some herbs and Teresa was picking flowers. Suddenly I felt like we were being watched." Buck noticed Lou tense up. "I called for Teresa to come back over to where I was. I pulled my gun. Teresa and I had been speaking in Kiowa. Just then, two Kiowa braves emerged from the tree line. They came over and said they had heard us talking and were curious who it was. I think Gray Wolf was about thirteen and Red Hawk about fourteen. They are from Red Bear's tribe. Their father is Standing Elk, a friend of mine from the Warrior Society I am a part of."

"Sounds like you two had a nice afternoon." Lou said as she snuggled back into Buck. She thought for a moment how much she enjoyed her evening talks with Buck.

"We did. Teresa even invited the boys to have supper with us. She and Red Hawk kinda hit it off. They sure were smiling a lot at each other." Buck said to Louise. Louise lifted her head and looked at Buck.

"I'm not ready for that Buck." Louise said to him sadly.

"Ready for what?" Buck asked Louise.

"Ready for her to have boys calling on her. Her talking about boys and all that. I'm not ready for that." Louise said as a tear slide down her face.

"Lou, I think you still have plenty of time. She is growing up but she has something you didn't at this age. She has all of us. We will make sure nothing happens to her." Buck wiped the tear from cheek.

"You're right Buck. I think I'll go on up to bed. You comin'?" Louise asked with a smile.

"Yep." Buck got up and walked her upstairs to her room. He made sure she was snug in bed. "Goodnight Louise."

"Goodnight Buck." Louise whispered as she reached out for his hand. She held his hand for a few minutes. Buck placed her hand back on her side and slipped out of the room.

The following week Ike and Emily headed to St. Joe. Ike dropped off Emily at the hotel and went to the livery to see about the horses. When he returned, he found Emily in their room. She was only in her camisole and pantalettes, looking out the window. Ike closed the door and stood there. He stared at is wife. She was so beautiful. He loved her so much.

He sat down on the chair and removed his boots. He walked up behind her and ran his hands down her arms and then back up. He repeated this motion slowly several times. After a few minutes, Emily turned and looked at Ike. They gazed into each other's eyes for several minutes.

"Do you want to go out for supper? I was . . . thinking maybe we could order the food and have it sent up. Maybe we could . . .talk?" Emily said softly. She smiled slightly and was very unsure of what to do. She was ready to go back to her life. Louise losing the baby had really bothered her a great deal. More than she wanted to admit. It was time Ike knew why.

"I think that would be nice. I'll go take of it." Ike signed to Emily. He smiled and rubbed his thumb across her cheek. Emily smiled again and leaned into his touch. Ike stepped away and put his boots back on. He quickly went downstairs and ordered two steak dinners with mashed potatoes and green beans with a plate of biscuits. He ordered a bottle of champagne and apple pie for dessert. He paid the check and asked for it to be brought to their room. The hostess said it would be up shortly. Ike headed back upstairs and slipped back into their room. He found Emily behind a privacy screen in the tub. He took off his boots and went to look out the window.

"Ike, you wanna get cleaned up?" Emily asked from the tub. Ike started to remove his clothes and got down to only his long john bottoms. He then realized that Emily was still in the tub. He slowly walked to the screen. He took a deep breath and then stepped around it. Emily was laying in the tub, relaxing.

"Would you help me wash my hair real quick please?" Emily asked. She dunked her head under the water after Ike nodded. Ike stepped up behind Emily's head and gently started to scrub her hair. Emily let out a low moan at the massage Ike was giving her. Ike ran his soapy hands down to her shoulders and gently massaged them. After a few minutes he washed his hands off and Emily again dunked her head to get the soap out. She stood up and Ike handed her a towel. She stepped out of the tub and began to dry off. Ike stepped out of his long john bottoms and got into the tub. He quickly washed off and was about to get out when he felt hands massaging his shoulders. Ike closed his eyes and lowered his head in bliss. After a little bit, Emily slid her hands off Ike's shoulders. Ike stood up and reached for a towel. He wrapped it around his waist and went to get dressed in a fresh pair of long john bottoms. He looked up and saw Emily wearing her robe. There was a knock at the door. Ike pulled on his pants and went to the door. Their dinner was delivered on a tray. Emily called out a thank you and Ike brought the tray in. Emily went to work setting up their dinner at the small table in the room. Ike popped the champagne and poured two glasses.

The couple enjoyed their dinner and finished off a glass each of champagne. They talked about the ranch and made more conversation then they had in months. They were smiling and laughing. They enjoyed their pie. Ike poured two more glasses of champagne.

"Ike. I need to talk to you about something. Something important." Emily took a big sip of the champagne. "I know things between us haven't been good. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I know you were upset about Louise and what happened. I . . . I just missed you. I missed you so much. I love you and it broke my heart that we were so distant." Ike signed to Emily. Emily nodded.

"Well, I . . . missed you too. I . . . well, uhm . . . there is a reason why I was so upset. Louise means the world to me. She was my first real friend in a long time. She's become so much more than that to me. A sister. When she lost the baby, I almost lost more than my nephew. I almost lost my sister." Emily said softly. She drank the rest of her champagne. Ike took a drink of his glass as well. Emily's tears started to fall. "See Ike, that was so hard on me because . . . because . . . I had already lost a sister."

Ike looked up at Emily. She was crying freely now. He never even knew that she had had a sister. He kept silent waiting for her to finish her story. He reached out and placed his hands on the sides of her knees. He wanted to give her all the comfort and strength he could.

"I was 8 years old. My momma got pregnant. I found out later the doctor had told her not to get pregnant again since she had a hard time carrying and delivering me. She stayed in bed a lot because the doctor said to. She got up one day to go to the outhouse. When she came back in, she was bleedin'. I held her hand while daddy went to get the doctor. The doctor pushed us both out. It seemed like hours. The doctor finally came out and told us that momma had had the baby early and that they had both died. My momma and my sister had both died that day. We buried them together. Daddy was never the same. Started drinking and gambling. You already know the rest." Emily had some what dried her tears. She reached down and put her hands on Ike's. She still had head dropped. Ike pulled his hands out from under hers. He reached up and tilted her head up. He wiped her tears away.

"I'm so so sorry baby. Why didn't you tell me. I wanted to be there for you. To help you. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me for not being there more." Ike signed to Emily. Emily looked deep into Ike eyes.

"No. No baby. You couldn't possibly have known. I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you before now. You have always been so good to me." Emily sat on the edge of her chair to get closer to Ike. "Louise came to me and we had a long talk. She made me realize that I couldn't keep reliving that over and over. She has been so strong. I know if she can do it, I can do it. I have to keep moving. Keep living. Keep loving."

Emily reached out and put her hands on Ike's cheeks. She leaned in a brushed her lips against Ike's. Ike put his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap. Emily place her hands on Ike's bare chest. Ike kissed her softly; passionately. Emily responded by gently biting his lower lip. Ike kissed her again and licked her lips. Emily opened her mouth and their tongues danced. They kissed deeply for several long minutes. Emily pulled away from Ike and stood up. She took a couple of steps and stood in front of Ike. Ike reclined back in the chair; his knees apart from where Emily had just been standing. He looked at his wife. Her eyes were full of love and . . . lust. He smiled seductively at her. Emily looked at her husband. His eyes were filled love and want, need and lust. Emily kept her eyes trained on his. She reached down and untied her robe. She shrugged the robe off her shoulders. As the robe fell to the floor, Ike looked Emily up and down. Her naked form before him. She sassily grinned at him before putting her hands on her hips and poking out one hip. Ike reached his arms out as he sat up. He pulled her to him and starting kissing her stomach. Emily ran her hands down Ike's bald head. She moaned with anticipation.

Ike stood up and wrapped his arms around Emily's waist. He guided her to the bed while kissing her deeply. His passion; his want; his need for her so obvious and yet he was still so unsure. They hadn't had sex in almost six months. He didn't want to do anything to cause her to stop. Emily was giving back just as good. She didn't even realize just how much she missed him. His touch; his kiss; his . . . everything. Once they reached the bed Emily pulled Ike down with her. Her hands went down and pushed Ike's long john bottoms off him and down his legs. Ike reached down and helped her get them off the rest of the way. He reached back up and lifted her onto the pillows. He then moved his mouth down along her neck as she threw her head back against the pillow. His tongue drew a moist line between breasts. Ike began to suckle her breasts. The right and then the left. His right hand massaging its way down her abdomen. He reached and parted her lips, gently stroking her clit. She was so warm; so wet. Ike almost lost it just touching her. Emily began moaning and panting, bucking her hip up to meet Ike. Ike moved and settled between her legs. Just as Emily crashed over the edge of a spectacular orgasm Ike thrust into her. Emily called out his name with every thrust of Ike's painfully hard member. Emily kept riding that wave of bliss as Ike got faster and more purposeful. Soon, Ike thrust one final time and waves of release over took him. Emily held tight to Ike, whispering "I love you" in his ear as he laid on top of her. Then, it happened. Something that nobody saw coming. Something that Ike believed would never happen again. Something that startled Emily and Ike. Ike rolled off of Emily and pulled her into his chest. As he did and wrapped his arm around her, it happened: Ike let out a moan. An audible moan.

Emily gasped and sat up. Ike's eyes were wide. Ike had not spoken a word or made an audible sound since he was nine years old. The doctors had always said there was no reason for him to be mute. Ike had tried many times in the past to speak. From watching his friends in trouble to being the key witness in a trial to telling the woman of his dreams that he loved her.

"Ike! Ike! Oh my God!" Emily exclaimed. Ike attempted to moan again. Nothing. He tried again. Nothing. Emily kissed her husband. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. She leaned in and kissed him again, slipping her tongue into his mouth. Emily moaned as Ike ran a finger down and across her bare chest. She rose and shifted herself. Emily began to trail kisses down his bare chest and stomach. She reached his maleness and licked from the bottom to the top and swirled around the head. She then plunged her mouth down and took all of his solid member into her mouth. She sucked and licked until she was done playing. She then sat up and straddled Ike. She took her hand and guided her toy into her wetness. Hissing in pleasure as she lowered herself down. She began to move and ride Ike just like the stallion he was. Ike grabbed her thighs and rubbed them smoothly. Emily cried out as she climaxed with such force it took her breath. As her breathing started to calm, she slid down to his side and put her arm across his chest. Ike put his hand over hers and they feel asleep, content in their lovers sleep.

The rest of their week long anniversary trip was amazing. They saw a play, went to a fair, and attended a poetry reading. Ike took Emily shopping and she bought new dresses and things for their house. The made love, had sex, and downright screwed every night. They went back to Rock Creek full of the knowledge that they had found their way back to the love they had for each other.

Thanksgiving came and went. Jeremiah turned 17 with a fantastic family dinner. The families were looking forward to Christmas. Lydia would be coming to stay with Jimmy and Amanda for the holiday. The ranch was still prospering and had a sound reputation. Buck and Lou had the same old routine. Buck had dinner with Lou and the kids every night. He stayed and tucked her into bed every night. He walked back into the bunk house and slept. In the mornings, he joined them for breakfast. They had fallen into a comfortable rhythm.

One Saturday afternoon, Teresa packed up a lunch in a basket. She packed up some sandwich's, pickles, and fruit. She packed up some cookies and filled several canteens with lemonade. She headed out to the barn. Ike and Buck were in the barn. They smiled at her as she walked over to where they were getting stalls ready to rotate the stock. Teresa prepared each of them a plate while they washed up. After eating, Teresa asked Buck to saddle Firefly for her. She was going to ride out to the west fence line to give Jeremiah some lunch. Buck saddled her horse and reminded her not to go beyond the fence line. Teresa promised she wouldn't and mounted up.

Teresa was more than halfway down the fence line when she spotted Jeremiah. He was busy trying to watch the stock and survey them. He heard a rider and turned to see Teresa. Teresa rode up astride him and told him that she had brought lunch. They went and set up a picnic. While they were eating, the pair heard a horse approaching. Jeremiah told Teresa to stand behind him. They saw the lone rider approaching. Teresa peeked out from behind her brother. She smiled at the approaching rider.

"Red Hawk!" Teresa called out. She ran over to the fence and waited for him to dismount. Jeremiah walked over to stand beside his sister. Red Hawk dismounted and walked over to the fence. He smiled at Teresa.

"Hello Little Star. It is good to see you. I came to see how you were doing?" Red Hawk spoke in Kiowa. The two teens hadn't taken their eyes off each other.

"It is good to see you too. I am glad you came. This is my brother, Jeremiah. Running Buck named him Strong Horse." Teresa replied in Kiowa. Jeremiah stuck out his hand and Red Hawk shook it.

"Would you care to join us for lunch Red Hawk?" Jeremiah asked in Kiowa. Red Hawk was surprised and happily accepted the invitation. "There is a gate about 30 feet up that way. I'll meet you there."

Jeremiah and Red Hawk returned. Teresa sat out an extra plate and poured some lemonade in a cup for Red Hawk. The teens enjoyed their lunch and the boys looked over the stock while Teresa happily watched. As the afternoon wore on, Red Hawk helped Jeremiah herd about half the stock over into the east pasture. Teresa rode along side. The trio headed back towards the main barn. They found Buck and Ike putting away stock for the evening.

"Red Hawk. It's good to see you. What brings you by?" Buck asked in Kiowa. Red Hawk shook his hand.

"I came to see Little Star and pay her a visit. Also, Chief Red Bear sends word that he is to be a father again and would like you and your family to come to the village for the naming ceremony. The baby should be born in 3 moons." Red Hawk spoke. Buck smiled at the thought of being an uncle again. Red bear already had two girls, Red Flower and Yellow Rabbit.

"Red Hawk, would you like to stay for dinner? I'm cooking roast and potatoes." Teresa asked. Red Hawk looked at her and smiled. Jeremiah, Ike and Buck all shared a look.

"Thank you. I would be happy to eat with you and your family. I told my family and Chief Red Bear that I would return tomorrow." Red Hawk replied. They two still had not taken their eyes off each other.

"I'll go and finish up." Teresa smiled. She skipped out of the barn and headed for the Big House. Red Hawk smiled as he watched her leave the barn.

"Hello. I'm Ike McSwain. I own part of the ranch here. It's nice to meet you." Ike signed to Red Hawk. Red Hawk smiled.

"It is nice to meet you also." Red Hawk signed back. "Running Buck said he had taught everyone Kiowa and sign. I am thankful that I may talk freely with all of you."

The group of men stood and talked for a few minutes. They finished up the rest of the chores. Red Hawk working right along side them. A couple of hours later found Emily calling for Ike. A few minutes later, Louise was calling for the rest of them. Teresa had told Louise all about Red Hawk. The boys filed into the house after washing up. Teresa had fixed the roast and mashed potatoes. Louise had cooked some squash and made biscuits. Teresa had even made a charley pudding for dessert.

The small family enjoyed a great meal with their new friend. Red Hawk and Teresa talked quite a bit to each other. Over dessert, Red Hawk asked if he could speak with Buck alone. Buck swallowed hard and looked at Lou. Lou had a panicked look in her eyes. Buck agreed and went to help Lou take the dishes into the kitchen. Buck assured Lou that he would take care of everything. Lou hugged him tightly and whispered that she knew he would. That she trusted him.

Buck came back in and told Red Hawk that he would be sleeping in the bunk house with him and Jeremiah. Red Hawk smiled and thanked them. Buck then told Red Hawk that they could have that talk now. The two went out to the barn.

"Running Buck, I would like to talk to you about some things. If you don't mind" Red Hawk spoke. For the first time the young man seemed nervous. Buck smiled and sat down on a bale of hay.

"Red Hawk, you can ask or talk to me about anything." Buck replied.

"I would like to learn about the white world. I have seen how well you have done outside the village. I love my Kiowa blood and heritage, but I feel a call. A call to serve them outside of the village. Maybe as a guide or interpreter. To do that, I need to learn about the white world. So that I may understand both sides." Red Hawk explained to Buck.

Buck raised his eyebrow. He hadn't expected this. He was shocked. He thought for a moment and realized that Red Hawk may have an idea. If you knew both worlds, how better to explain things to each other. Ideas would be much easier to understand. The tribes would be treated fairly.

"You would like us to teach you about the white world?" Buck asked to be sure.

"Yes. I feel safe here. I feel that I would be understood and taken seriously." Red Hawk explained.

"You're right. You are safe here. I think it's a great idea." Buck said. "What else is on you mind?"

"Is it that clear? I know if we were in the village, Little Star could marry soon. I feel that she would be a good wife. She is beautiful. She has a great heart and is so loving. She can cook. All the things that we look for in a wife. I know the white world is different. I do want to spend more time with her if I may? If that's okay?" Red Hawk asked Buck. Buck understood what Red Hawk was saying. Red Hawk was right that if they were in the village, he and Teresa could be wed within the year. However, here in the white world, that wasn't acceptable. She could not even begin courting until she turned 15. He and Louise had talked about Teresa going to college. Getting an education. He also realized that Teresa had an eye for Red Hawk as well.

"Well, Red Hawk, in our village, Little Star would make a great wife. In the white world, Teresa will make a great wife. They are the same person. In this world, here in town, outside the village, Teresa needs to finish school. She could have you come and see her with someone else there. When she finishes school at 15 summers, then she can be courted. Courting means you ask her to accompany you places. During the day, you can go without someone being with you. After dark though, someone has to be with you. Louise and I would like for Teresa to go to college and finish her education. That means she would not be able to marry until 17, 18 or even 20 summers." Buck explained to Red Hawk. Red Hawk listened closely. He was prepared to wait however long he had to for Little Star.

"I understand Running Buck. Thank you for listening to me. Will you be coming to the naming ceremony?" Red Hawk asked. "I will return to the village tomorrow. I will discuss my plans with my father and Chief Red Bear. When you come to the ceremony, I will have a plan. I will wait for Little Star as long as she wants."

"Thank you Red Hawk for coming to let me know of my brother's upcoming child. I promise that no matter what happens with Little Star, you are welcome here." Buck said to Red Hawk. Buck stood up and extended his hand. Red Hawk shook his hand and the pair walked to the bunk house.

The next morning, Teresa was finishing up the fried potatoes as Louise called the boys in for breakfast. The boys came in after washing up. They small family enjoyed their breakfast. Red Hawk sitting next to Teresa. Red Hawk told the family that he would be leaving after lunch. Buck asked Lou to go for a ride with him. Teresa asked Red Hawk to sit on the porch swing with her. The pair sat on the swing and talked all morning. Jeremiah not far away in the corral.

Buck saddled up Warrior and Lightning. Louise came out and joined him as he was leading the horses out. She was wearing pants that snugged her hips. Her shirt was snug also through the chest. Since the Express had ended, Louise had filled out a little in some places and a lot in others. Now that she no longer bound her chest, her breasts were fuller. Buck looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time.

They mounted their horses and took off for the spot that had now become a favorite place for them. They tethered their horses. Buck went and sat down against their favorite tree. Louise came and settled in between Buck's legs, resting against his chest. Buck had his right leg bent up at the knee, his arm resting atop his knee. Louise put her arm through the space and rested her hand against the back of his thigh. His left leg was stretched out in front of him, Louise's hand on his thigh, Buck curved his other arm around her waist. The pair sat together talking, just as natural and carefree as the breeze blowing.

"So Buck, are you going to tell me what Red Hawk wanted to talk to you about last night?" Louise asked. She was curious. She was nosey.

"Well, Louise, Red Hawk would like to learn the ways of the white man and this world. He hopes to try and further the tribe by learning the ways of the whites. That way, hopefully, the tribe won't be taken advantage of. He said he felt safe at the ranch and that he would be understood. I told him that was a great idea and that he would be welcome anytime." Buck explained to Louise. Louise was rubbing her hand up and down the back of his leg. Each stroke was a torturous thrill for Buck. "Lou, He also would like to spend more time with Teresa."

"NO WAY! She's only thirteen years old. She's too young for all that." Louise exclaimed. She had abruptly sat up and spun around to face him. "I can't believe you! You know how I feel about this. I can't believe you would agree to . . ."

"I never agreed to anything Louise." Buck interrupted her. He was slightly hurt that she would think that he would agree to allow her thirteen year old sister to marry at all much less without talking to her about it first. "I explained that I understood that at this age in the village they could be married within the year. However, that is not how it worked in the white world. They could spend time together with a chaperone right now. At fifteen, they could spend time together during the day without a chaperone and with one at night. I also told him that we wanted her to finish school. To get her education. He said he understood and was willing to wait and do whatever he needed to." Buck explained to Louise. He saw Louise visibly relax.

"I . . . I'm sorry Buck. I should have known you would have told him all that. You love her just like your own sister. She loves you. I know you only want the best for her." Louise leaned in and hugged Buck. They lingered in that hug longer than friends would. Neither seemed bothered by that fact either.

"Also, Louise, Red Bear is having another child and has invited all of us to come for the naming ceremony in about three months. I was hoping we could all go. You, me, Teresa. Would you come with me to the village?" Buck asked. He couldn't believe how nervous he was. He felt like a kid asking for his first date.

"Of course Buck. I would love to come with you." Louise said. The two sat for a little while longer talking and laughing. After a while they saddled up and headed home. Buck was thrilled that Louise had agreed to come to the village. When they returned the found that Red Hawk was getting ready to leave. Teresa brought out a package of food. Red Hawk told Buck that the village was about half a days ride to the west along the river. Buck asked Red Hawk to let Red Bear know that he and his family were coming for the naming ceremony. Ike and Jimmy looked at each other in surprise at the words. Jeremiah, Louise, Ike, Jimmy, and Buck all shook Red Hawk's hand. Teresa walked up and the two young people embraced. The adults all walked a little ways away to give them a minute. Teresa started to cry and whispered that she would miss him terribly. Red Hawk took his finger and lifted her chin up. He looked into her eyes and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"One day, we will never be apart. You will never have to miss me. One day, once we are both ready. Until then . . ." Red Hawk whispered. He brushed his lips lightly across her cheek. "I will see you soon, Little Star." Red Hawk mounted his horse and waved goodbye as he rode off. Louise walked up and put her arm around Teresa. She understood heartache.

The next day Buck asked Jimmy and Ike if they could cover the ranch while he and Lou went to the village. Buck expected to be gone about a month. Jeremiah said he would stay and help with the ranch. Jimmy and Ike agreed that it would be no problem. Ike and Jimmy were hoping things were moving in the right direction for their friends.

Lydia arrived a few days before Christmas. The family was preparing for their second Christmas together. They agreed that they would do just like last year. They would have an early dinner on Christmas Eve and decorate the tree. On Christmas Day, they would meet for a light lunch followed by presents. The feast would be at supper time. Buck noticed that Louise had begun to be very anxious. Almost distracted. Buck and Jeremiah agreed to leave for their hunting trip the next day and come home in two days, Christmas Eve. Buck asked Ike and Jimmy to keep an eye on Lou while he was gone. Amanda and Emily both got her to agree to dinner at their houses while Buck was gone. Everyone but Louise and Buck knew about the feelings between the pair.

True to their word, Buck and Jeremiah returned two days later with a twelve point buck and several quail. They were already field dressed and ready. Louise ran and hugged Buck as soon as the dismounted their horses. She almost knocked him over with the force. She threw her arms around Buck and pulled him as close to her as she could. Buck was stunned momentarily but quickly put his arms around her waist. He inhaled her scent. She smelled like roses. Lou inhaled the all too familiar scent that was Buck: Sage, horse, leather, and prairie. Both realized how much they had missed the other. Jeremiah broke the spell by mock whining about Louise not missing him. The two friends broke apart and Lou ran over to her brother and hugged him also.

Later that evening, after they had their venison steaks, roasted potatoes, cabbage, and cornbread, the families began decorating the tree. Emily, Rachel, Teresa, Amanda, Lydia and Louise all started stringing popcorn and dried berries. The men had retreated to the bunk house for cards. After the tree was finished, Emily went to the bunk house to gather the boys. She stepped up on the porch and was about to open the door when the conversation drew her attention.

"Oh come on Buck. It's so obvious to everyone that you love Lou." Jimmy said.

Silence followed. She figured Ike must be signing something. Her thought was confirmed when Jimmy spoke again.

"Yep. I agree Ike. He does love her, but he's IN love with her too. Just admit it Buck. Stop torturing yourself and tell her how you feel." Jimmy said.

"You know, I thought Louise wouldn't love anyone but Kid. But after the things he said to her and about her, I was glad he left. I mean he told her that it was her fault she lost the baby. That she wasn't a real lady. That if she had been acting like a real lady and all, the baby would be here. I was sad at first that he left and I hurt for Louise. But when she went on with her life without blinking an eye, I knew she had already done her getting over him. Now I see her with you Buck and she's so different. She loves you differently then she loved Kid. Deeper. More with her soul or something. You feel the same way. The whole time we were gone hunting, you talked of only her. What would she be cooking. What she would be doing. Was she lonely. Did she eat supper. I love you Buck. And I wish you would tell her how you feel." Jeremiah said while sorting his cards. Everyone looked at Jeremiah. None of them had expected what came out of his mouth. Emily stood at the door still listening. Tears falling down her cheeks. She had no idea that Louise had endured that from Kid. She knew he felt that way, but had no idea that he would be cruel enough to say that to her.

"Wow. Jeremiah, I had no idea that you felt that way. I do love your sister. And yes, Jimmy, Ike, I am IN love with Lou. Have been for years. I can't be with her though. She doesn't deserve the life she would have with me. The half breeds whore. I can't let that happen. I am just fine being here with her just like we are." Buck spoke. Emily decided to make her presence known before this conversation got any deeper. She pushed the door open and announced that the tree was finished and it was time for dessert. The boys all smiled and looked at other before getting up to head to the Big House.

Teresa and Lydia were setting up desserts when the boys and Emily walked in. Teresa brought in the tray with the plate of cookies and slices and Rachel's applesauce cake and Emily's carrot cake. Lydia brought in the cups of coffee and glasses of milk. Teaspoon recited the story of the nativity. When he finished the story, the families retired to their homes. Jeremiah walked Lydia to the Cottage and sat with her on the porch for a few minutes. Jeremiah stood up and took Lydia's hand. He stood in front of her and held her hands for a moment, looking into her eyes. He pulled out a small wrapped package and handed it to Lydia. Lydia squealed and took the package. She tore open the wrappings and opened the box. She gasped. She pulled out a beautiful jeweled brooch. The silver was swirled and entwined. There were five turquoise stones. The largest stone was in the middle and two smaller turquoise stones on each side. There was also a set of earrings to match. Jeremiah explained that the turquoise was his birthstone and he wanted her to have him close to her heart while she was away. Lydia smiled and thanked Jeremiah for the gift. She told him to wait a minute while she went inside. Lydia returned a few minutes later with a wrapped package. She handed Jeremiah the package and that he quickly unwrapped. Jeremiah pulled out a brown leather belt. Attached to the belt was a silver buckle. Engraved in the middle of the buckle was the Bar PXF logo. On each side of the logo were a set on initials; His on the right and hers, LMH, on the left. Jeremiah ran his fingers over the engraving. Lydia explained that the best looking cowboy on the ranch needed the best buckle. And to have her near him as well. Jeremiah leaned into her. He whispered a "thank you" and an "it's perfect" into her ear. Lydia could barely concentrate. Jeremiah brushed his lips against her cheek. Lydia was having trouble breathing. Jeremiah was still so close that Lydia could feel his breath on her face. He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against hers. He then pressed his lips to hers, gently, tenderly. Lydia kissed him back and felt like she was going to melt from the fire inside her. After a minute or so, Jeremiah pulled back. He wanted to run screaming around the yard that he was in love with her. He smiled at her and wished her good night. This was amazing: Their first kiss.

Back at the house, Buck helped Louise sit out the new leather saddlebags for Jeremiah and Teresa. Jeremiah's was a dark brown with the Bar PXF logo burned into both sides along with his initials, JCM. Teresa's was a tan color with pretty swirled lines along the bottom. Her saddlebag also had the Bar PXF logo on each side with her monogram TME. Jeremiah also had a new hat. Teresa had a new bonnet. Once the gifts were spread out, Buck went to sit on the settee with Lou. Lou snuggled up to him like she always did. Buck began to rub his fingers up and down her arm. He noticed that she was not herself. She was radiating feelings of guilt, sadness, and something Buck couldn't put his finger on.

"Louise, are you alright?" Buck finally asked. He wasn't sure what was bothering the beauty; he just wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Just thinkin' is all." Louise said after a few moments. "I'm headed up to bed. Good night Buck."

Lou got up and headed up the stairs. Buck stood up and went to follow her. As he got to the top of the stairs, Louise shut her door. Buck was stunned. For months now, every night, Buck tucked her before heading to the bunkhouse. Tonight, she had shut him out. Buck turned and went back down the stairs. He locked up the house and then went to lie in his own bed, wondering what he had done wrong.

The next morning, Louise was in the kitchen long before the sun was up. Breakfast casserole in the oven, Louise sat down with a cup of coffee. About a half hour later, everyone started to file in. Teresa ran in and grabbed Jeremiah's hand. She pulled him into the living room and squealed with delight at what Santa had brought them. Louise went and brought in the rest of the gifts.

"Where's Buck?" Ike signed to Jeremiah.

"Don't know. He came in late last night. I heard the door but fell back to sleep. He was gone when I woke up this morning." Jeremiah replied. Ike looked at Emily and then to Lou. Jimmy looked at Amanda and then at Ike. Jimmy looked over to Louise. Louise was looking out the window. The boys went into the living room. Emily, Amanda, and Rachel got to work on lunch. Louise continued to look out the window.

After lunch was ready, the families sat down. Louise still had not spoken much. She helped with lunch and after the family finished they all headed into the living room for presents. Buck still had not shown up. After the gifts were exchanged, the boys went to tend to the horses. The ladies sat around and chatted. Louise picked up her vigil looking outside the window.

"Do you think Buck is okay?" Teresa asked Lou. Teresa was afraid something had happened to him . . . or between him and Louise. "Is everything okay with you and him?"

"I'm sure he's fine. I hope he's fine." Louise said. The last part was more of a whisper. Suddenly it registered what Teresa had said. "There is no me and him. We are friends, family, but that's it." Louise couldn't believe that Teresa would think about such things. She heard Teresa mutter a "whatever you say" as she trotted off. Louise was starting to worry. Hell, She was already worried. She knew what she needed to do.

"Oh hell with it." Louise said as she headed upstairs. The other ladies were startled. After a few minutes Lou came down the stairs in her burgundy riding skirt with the same white blouse on. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a basket. She filled it with a couple of steak sandwich's, potato salad, 2 pieces of cake, some fruit, and a canteen of tea. She walked past the ladies, not even noticing the smiles on their faces or hearing the "ride safe" from Rachel. In the barn, she asked Ike to saddle Lightning. She went and got her bedroll and saddle bag. In a flash she had mounted up and was out of the barn in a gallop. She didn't see to smiles on the boy's faces either.

Louise rode to their spot. Sure enough there was Warrior tethered to a line so he could graze but not go far. Lou tied Lightning next to Warrior. The old friends nickered at each other. Lou reached in the basket and pulled out an apple. She cut the apple in two and gave each one a half. They greedily accepted their treat and nuzzled Lou for a moment.

After making sure the pair was properly loved on, Louise turned and headed to the creek. To their spot. To their tree. Just as she thought, there was Buck, stretched out under the tree. He appeared to be lost in thought. Louise knew better. She stood there a moment, gazing at him. He had always been a good looking boy. But now, he was a very attractive man. He had filled out with musculature since working on the ranch. Her cooking wasn't helping his waistline, but he worked off all those calories anyway. She had to admit that she had never really looked at him that way before. Like a man. Like an attractive man. Like a . . .

"I know you are there Lou." Buck said without moving. Louise moved to come and sit next to him. She noticed that Buck tensed when she sat down. She tried to hide the hurt. The two sat in silence for what seemed like an hour, in reality it was only a few minutes.

"Everyone missed you this morning. I brought you some lunch. Teresa was so worried. Jeremiah said you came in late last night and left out early this morning. I was hoping you would be home for lunch. When you weren't, I knew I couldn't keep looking out the window waiting for you to ride up. I knew I had to come and see about you." Louise blurted out. She spoke the words faster than she wanted. She found that she was . . . nervous. "Why are you out here Buck? What happened? Are you okay?"

Buck took a deep breath. He wasn't quite sure how to talk to her about what he was feeling. He was hurt that she had shut him out. But why did it hurt so bad? Because he loved her. He loved her with everything in him. He didn't want her to get mad.

"Louise. . . Lou, I . . .huh, it's nothing." Buck looked down. He couldn't face her. Not yet.

"I'm not buying it. What is wrong? Why won't you tell me. I thought we were closer than that." Louise said. She reached out to take his hand but he moved it away. Louise was again hurt by this simple action. "I thought we told each other everything"

"Lou, please don't get mad or upset. I just needed time to think. What happened last night really hurt. I just wasn't ready to talk about it yet." Buck replied. He looked up into Louise's eyes. He saw that she was desperately trying to figure out what had hurt him. "You shut me out."

Louise's face lit up as realization hit her. She now knew exactly what was wrong. He had been tucking her in every night for the last few months. Last night, she had shut the door before he even got up the stairs.

"Oh, Buck. Buck, I'm sorry. I . . .I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just that. . .just." Louise wasn't sure how to explain how she felt. She wasn't sure why she didn't talk about it last night with him. "This time last year I was pregnant. I was telling everyone about the baby. Things were settling down. Life was going back to normal. Now, life is back to normal. It's better than ever. But, I don't have my baby. I have everything else . . . except my baby. I am afraid that I may not be able to get pregnant again. If I do, what if I lose that baby too. I just had a lot of emotions the last few days and I wasn't sure how to deal with them. I'm sorry I shut you out last night."

Buck looked over at Lou. He reached over and wiped the tears from her cheeks. He had thought that may be the reason, but why did she feel like she couldn't talk to him. He understood.

"Louise, you said it yourself. I thought we told each other everything. You could've talked to me about anything. Yelled, cried, screamed, or just . . . just sat there and let me. . . let me be there for you. You shut me out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you felt like you couldn't talk to me." Buck couldn't put his feelings in order. "I will back off if you need me to. I will eat with Ike and Emily or Teaspoon and Rachel. I can go back to the bunkhouse after supper. I'm sorry I crowded you. I didn't mean to."

Buck continued to caress her cheek. Louise leaned into the touch. This was her best friend. She reached up and took his hand in hers. She gently kissed it. Louise stood up and went towards the horses. Buck lowered his head, thinking that he had made her mad or upset. A few minutes later Louise returned and spread out a blanket. Buck watched as she sat down with the basket. Louise pulled out a plate and dished up some potato salad and the two steak sandwich's. She handed the plate to Buck who took the offering.

"Buck, none of that is necessary. You are not crowding me. You're my best friend. I want us to go back to being us. I need my best friend." Louise said as Buck ate the food on the plate he had been given. He gave her a slight smile. Only time would tell if things would be back to normal. After Buck and Lou finished the pieces of cake, Louise packed up the picnic. Buck stood up and extended his hand to her. She accepted with a smile and pulled herself up. As she stood, Louise lost her balance and tumbled forward into Buck. Buck put his arms around her instinctively. She looked up into his eyes. Louise stood up on her tip toes and reached up to put her hands into his hair. She pulled his head down to hers and gently kissed his lips. The electricity pulsated. Buck pulled away but only just. He then lowered his head back to hers and passionately kissed her. He pulled her tighter into his chest. They continued to kiss until they had to come up for air. He pressed his forehead to hers. He took her hand and they walked back to the horses together. They mounted their horses and rode to the ranch together.

The rest of the year went off without a hitch. Everything went back to normal. 1863 started out with the family celebrating a new contract to supply horses for the territorial governor and his cabinet for the next year.

In February Louise received a letter postmarked Virginia. She opened the envelope and read the contents. The letter was brief and to the point.

_Dear Louise,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I joined the 4__th__ Virginia Calvary when I got back home. The years with the Express have helped me prove myself. Please know that when the war is over, I will see a lawyer to sort out all the matters concerning the ranch and our divorce. _

_Wishing you the best,_

_Sgt. A. Kendrick V_

_4__th__ Virginia Calvary_

_Army of Northern Virgina_

_Confederate States of America_


	10. Ready To Run

**A/N: Once again, the same old same old. I don't own anything and blah blah blah. WARNING: Explicit Contect and Mature Subject Matter. Please do not send a rabib pack of baby spider monkeys after me. I promise it will all work out. **

"What's all this talk about love . . .

You see it feels like I'm starting to care, And I'm going to be ready this time" Dixie Chicks

Chapter 9

Ready to Run

Kiowa Village, Nebraska Territory

March 1863

March found Buck, Louise, and Teresa headed towards the Kiowa village. The three rode their horses across the prairie. Things between Buck and Lou had gone back to normal. Buck ate with them and after dinner they would sit by the fire in the living room and have coffee. He would tuck her in and then lock up. Teresa had been looking forward to going to the village to see Red Hawk. She had even parted her hair in the middle and wrapped her braids in the hair wraps Buck had made her for Christmas the year before. Buck had chuckled when she came down the stairs that morning. She giggled and jumped into Buck's lap. He tickled her and they enjoyed a good laugh. She then asked dozens of questions about the village and whether or not she would be liked. Buck answered all of her questions and assured her that she would be liked. Buck let her know that since he was a member of the Tdien-Pei-Gah Warrior Society, he and his family had a certain status in the village.

Buck arranged with Ike, Jimmy, and Jeremiah to be gone about a month. The boys had all teased him about Louise. Whether or not the dwelling would be shared by them both. Some very lewd and raunchy jokes and statements had been made. They all laughed and continued to laugh as Buck proclaimed that there was no him and Lou.

Buck came to a small clearing and pulled his horse to a stop. Louise and Teresa did the same. Buck got down from Warrior and walked over to Louise. He patted her leg and looked up at her with a smile.

"We are almost there. The sentry's are posted on the edge of the tree line just across the way." Buck said to Louise and Teresa. Buck turned to go back to Warrior. He pulled off his vest and took off his shirt. He folded them and put them in his saddle bag. He remounted Warrior and turned to let Louise and Teresa know they could continue their journey. He realized that Louise was staring at him. He lowered his head and smiled. The three started towards the tree line. The small family was almost to the tree line when a sentry came forward. Buck called to the man. Buck rode ahead and the two men shook hands and spoke while waiting for Louise and Teresa to catch up.

"Louise, this is Sleeping Dog. Sleeping Dog, this is my friend Louise and her sister Teresa." Buck spoke in Kiowa. Louise and Teresa greeted Sleeping Dog in Kiowa as well. Sleeping Dog was impressed and didn't expect the white woman and girl to know his native tongue. "Teresa, Sleeping Dog is Red Hawk's uncle."

"So you are the girl my nephew has spoken so often of." Sleeping Dog spoke to Teresa with a smile. Teresa's face had lit up at the mention of Red Hawk. "He has been awaiting your arrival."

The group rode on into the village. Red Bear greeted them warmly upon their arrival. He showed them to the dwelling that he had had set up next his own. The small family settled in. Soon after, Red Bear came over and invited them to meet his son. Buck, Louise and Teresa all headed over to Red Bear's dwelling. As they entered through the flap, they saw Red Bear's wife holding the baby. He was bronze skinned like his parents with just a wisp of blue black hair.

"Congratulations Dancing Spirit. He is beautiful." Buck spoke to Red Bear's wife. Buck, Louise, and Teresa all sat down as Red Bear tied the flap open on the dwelling. "This is my friend Louise or White Fire and her sister Teresa or Little Star."

Teresa and Louise both said hello in Kiowa. Red Bear and Dancing Spirit were pleased with this. Buck explained that he had taught them all to speak Kiowa, Lakota, and sign so that they may be able to communicate on the prairie. Dancing Spirit asked Louise if she would like to hold the baby. Louise gladly accepted and took the baby. She cooed and lightly bounced the beautiful boy in her arms. Buck leaned over and softly kissed the boys head. Louise looked up into Buck's eyes. They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment.

"Father! Father! Is Uncle here?" Red Flower was heard running up to the dwelling. She came inside followed by her younger sister, Yellow Rabbit. Buck stood up. Both girls squealed and ran into his outstretched arms. He hugged them both and gave them each a kiss on the cheek. Red Bear smiled at the happy sight.

"Girls, this is my friend Louise or White Fire and her sister Teresa or Little Star. Lou, Teresa, these are my nieces Red Flower and Yellow Rabbit. Red Flower is 13 and Yellow Rabbit is 10. Red Flower, Teresa is also 13." Buck said.

Teresa and Louise both greeted the girls in Kiowa. Red Flower looked over at her brother. She lightly touched his hand and then looked at Teresa. She asked Teresa if she would like to go and help them with their chores so they could play sooner. Teresa's face lit up and she looked over at Louise and Buck. Both Louise and Buck nodded in consent.

Yellow Rabbit sat down in Buck's lap. Buck gave her another hug. Louise asked if Buck wanted to hold the baby. He said yes and Yellow Rabbit got up with a huff and left the dwelling. Buck looked at Red Bear and then Dancing Spirit. He then looked at Lou who handed him the baby. Buck held the little baby close. He smiled down at the infant who was looking up at his uncle. Buck spoke softly to the tiny bundle in Kiowa.

Louise and Dancing Spirit had been speaking to each other for a little bit. Red Bear explained that Yellow Rabbit had been silent and distant since the birth of the baby two weeks ago. She would not speak to anyone and wouldn't acknowledge the baby. Louise said that maybe Yellow Rabbit was afraid she was being replaced. That she wasn't the baby anymore. Buck spoke up and said that it was a thought. Louise stood up and said she was going to check on Teresa. She exited the dwelling and walked a little ways around. She found all the girls working on some animal skins. They were laughing and talking like they had been friends forever. Except for Yellow Rabbit. Yellow Rabbit was just working on the chore and keeping to herself. While Louise watched, she heard a group of horses heading in. She looked over to see a group of about ten young braves riding in. As the braves came into the village, the young girls of the village looked over at them. Louise spotted Red Hawk leading the group. Red Hawk spotted Louise and went to put his horse away quickly. Red Hawk jogged over to Louise and the two embraced. Teresa looked up and called his name in excitement. Red Hawk turned and grabbed Teresa in a tight embrace. Teresa spent the rest of the day helping Red Flower. She even had dinner with Red Hawk and his family. The rest of the visit to the village found Teresa and Red Hawk spending all their free time together.

Louise and Teresa helped to prepare the meals with the ladies of the village. They also helped to do anything they could to help the ladies of the village. Buck went with hunting part including Red Hawk and his father to hunt for game for the feast to be had after the naming ceremony.

"So Running Buck, when did you and your woman marry?" Red Bear asked his brother. Buck almost choked on the drink of water he was getting. Red Bear, Standing Elk, and Sleeping Dog all chuckled.

"Uhm, we are not married. She is married to someone who I thought of as a friend, a brother. He left her and her siblings and our ranch to fight in the war in the east." Buck explained to the men.

"Yet you share a dwelling. You love her. That can be seen by anyone. She loves you as well. She is a good woman. She will make you a good wife." Red Bear said to Running Buck.

"I know that Red Hawk wants to make Little Star his wife. He says you told him he must wait until she is older and has finished school. Red Hawk also says that you agreed to help teach him the ways of the white man. I had a vision that he would help our people with the white man. Tell me Running Buck, will you help my son?" Standing Elk asked Buck.

"Yes. Standing Elk, I would be happy to teach Red Hawk anything he would like to learn. He and the rest of your family, or anyone in the village are welcome at any time to the ranch. Everyone on the ranch speaks Kiowa as well as sign." Buck said to the men. "And as far as Little Star and Red Hawk, yes. I told him how courting a girl in the white world works. Courting is how you make it known you would like to maybe marry that person. Little Star will make a fine wife, but she needs an education first. Especially if Red Hawk is to make a difference with the white man in the white world. White Fire and I have no problem with Red Hawk and Little Star marrying when the time is right."

"Thank you Running Buck. For looking after my son. And for honoring your Kiowa heritage. Your mother and father would be proud of you." Standing Elk said to Buck while shaking his hand. Buck knew that Standing Elk was referring to Red Bear's father, even though Buck had not been conceived when he died. Buck had often wished and even imagined that he and Red Bear had the same father. Red Bear beamed with pride.

"Thank you Standing Elk." Buck said to the man. That night the small hunting party camped out on the plains. They already had a fair amount of deer and pheasant. They hoped to come upon some more tomorrow on their way back to the village.

"White Fire loves you you know. Tell me how it is that she is married yet she is here with you." Red Bear asked his brother. Buck settled in around the fire.

"Like I said earlier, her husband left her and her siblings to go fight in the war back east. He had been growing apart from her. He raped her one night and she got pregnant. When she was about six moons, she lost the baby. He blamed her for losing the baby. Said she wasn't a real lady." Buck stopped telling the story momentarily to get his anger under control. "They stopped speaking and one night he left. He wrote her a letter saying he was leaving and wasn't coming back. Louise was upset for a moment but I think she had already accepted the loss of her marriage. She and I have always been close friends. We have meals together. We talk. You are right, I love her very much. But I will not disgrace her by having an affair with a married woman. Even if their marriage is over in their eyes, it is still binding to the law. I love her more than that. I love her more than the townspeople calling her names and thinking I am the reason their marriage failed."

"I understand Running Buck. When the time is right, you and White Fire will be one. You will go through a great struggle. There will be a time when you will try to push it all away. You will leave and try to forget everything and everyone. But you will return. White Fire will stand by you. The loss of the baby was for the best. The Great Spirit knows best. Your friend was wrong. White Fire is a great lady." Red Bear said to Buck. Buck looked at Red Bear confused. He didn't understand. What did Red Bear mean?

"Red Bear, what do you mean? I could never leave them." Buck asked his brother.

"All will be shown to you in good time. Let us rest. We shall return to the village tomorrow." Red Bear said as the group bedded down for the night. The next day the group headed back for the village and stumbled upon a group of elk. They had quite the bounty and stopped to give thanks to the Great Spirit for providing for them.

Upon returning to the village, the hunters were welcomed back by their women. Louise ran to Buck and hugged him fiercely. So fiercely that Buck was worried something had happened while he was gone. He asked Louise if anything was wrong with her or Teresa or if something had happened or been said. Louise laughed and told him that everything was fine. She and Teresa had learned so much about life in the village and their way of life. She explained that she missed him a great deal. Neither realized that they were still holding each other and could easily kiss each other right then. Teresa and Red Hawk also embraced strongly. That night, after Teresa went to bed, Lou and Buck went for a walk. Louise explained all that she and Teresa had learned in the village. Buck was beaming with pride that she wanted to learn so much about his people. They sat together by the river. A comfortable silence between them. After a while they walked back to the dwelling that they shared.

During the night, Louise awoke to a noise. She listened for a moment and realized that it was some dog's rough housing. The noise had frightened her all the same and she really didn't know why. She heard Buck's soft snoring from across the dwelling. Without hesitation Louise got up and picked up her blanket. She walked around the fire pit and laid her blanket down next to where Buck was sleeping. She pulled up his blanket and snuggled herself underneath. She took a deep breath and exhaled as she began to drift back to sleep.

Buck felt a presence next to him. He opened his eyes and looked right at Louise's. She was asleep. He smiled and snaked his arm around her waist. Louise turned over in her sleep. Buck pulled her gently towards him and snuggled up against her. He fell back asleep with a smile on his face.

The next morning Louise woke up with an arm around her waist and her leg wedged in between two other legs. She opened her eyes and saw Buck's bronze skin. She smiled. She took her fingers and lightly traced his cheek bone and nose. She then inched closer and lightly brushed her lips against his. She touched her lips to his again and felt him kiss her back. She felt his grip tightened around her waist as he inched closer to her. Louise ran her tongue along his bottom lip which he happily welcomed into his mouth. The two passionately kissed for several minutes. Louise felt his hand reach under her long john top and rub the bare skin of her back. She moaned into Buck's mouth as she reached up and rubbed her hands under his long john top on his bare chest.

"Louise! Buck! Are you up yet?" Louise and Buck pulled apart suddenly at Teresa's words. Louise stood up and pulled down her shirt. Teresa went inside and hugged Louise. "It's time to start breakfast. And we have to start the meat for tonight."

"I'll be right out." Louise called after Teresa as she left the dwelling. Louise looked at Buck. He had his hands on his face. As he slid his hands down his face he looked over at Louise.

"Buck, I . . .I'm . . ." Louise started to say.

"No, Lou. I'm sorry. I should have had more control." Buck interrupted her.

"No, Buck. I started this. I wanted this." Louise said to Buck as she started to get dressed. "It's okay. You comin' out?"

"In a few minutes. I really don't think I should get up right now." Buck said to Louise. Louise understood that Buck was probably still hard from their foreplay. Louise stepped out of the dwelling and went to help the other ladies. Buck waited a few minutes. He couldn't believe how close they had come. He wanted her so much. It would be so easy to make her his. Hell, even she wanted it. He couldn't though. She was still married. He couldn't cross that line.

Buck got up and dressed. Louise and Teresa had both taken to wearing buckskin dresses while they were there in the village. They both still wore their camisoles and, at night, their pantalettes or long johns. Buck wore his buckskin pants and no shirt. He stepped out into the village. He went over to where Red Bear was speaking with Sleeping Dog. Red Bear turned and joined Buck into the conversation. The sentries had spotted some Arapaho activity suspiciously close to the Kiowa land and village. Buck hoped there would be no trouble while they were there.

That evening close to sunset, a large fire was built. Louise and Teresa went to their dwelling. Buck came out wearing ceremonial buckskins. His chest was bare and had his family markings painted across his chest. His hair was long and had a braid down the left side with an eagle feather tied into it. He stood straight to his full 5 foot 10 inch height. Louise gasped quietly at the site of him. God he was gorgeous.

"What? What is it?" Buck asked as Louise stared at him.

"Nothing. You look so . . . so . . . handsome. I've just never seen you like this. Dressed as a warrior. Proudly displaying your family and your bloodline." Louise said to Buck. She slowly walked towards him until she was right in front of him. She reached out and took his hand. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand. Buck looked over Louise's shoulder and saw Red Hawk approaching. He smiled. Louise turned in time to see Red Hawk hug Teresa. Red Hawk took Teresa's hand and they walked toward the ceremonial fire together. Buck squeezed Louise's hand again and they walked over to the ceremonial fire.

Several babies and children were honored during the naming ceremony. Red Bear finally revealed the name of his son, Gray Fox. Buck stood with Red Bear, Dancing Spirit, and the girls as a family. Red Bear spoke of how proud he was to have all of his family there for this event. After the ceremony, the women all went and made plates for the men. Louise brought Buck and Red Bear a plate, while Teresa served Red Hawk. The ladies then went to fix their own plates. Louise brought Dancing Spirit a plate, since she was honored as the mother of Grey Fox. Teresa brought Red Flower and Yellow Rabbit both a plate. Then, Louise and Teresa fixed themselves a plate. Teresa went to sit with Red Hawk and his family. Louise went to sit with Buck. The feast was enjoyed by all. Except Yellow Rabbit. After she finished eating, Yellow Rabbit got up and walked off. Louise gave her a few minutes and then excused herself. She walked off in the same direction that Yellow Rabbit went.

"I know how you feel Yellow Rabbit. I felt the same way when my brother was born. Ma spent all her time with my brother. Pa did too. It was like I wasn't even there." Louise spoke to Yellow Rabbit softly. After a few minutes Yellow Rabbit turned and looked at Louise.

"Did it ever change? Did they love you again?" Yellow Rabbit asked softly. She had tears in her eyes.

"They never stopped loving me. I just thought they had. Yellow Rabbit, your mother and father love all of you very much. Babies just take more time and attention than older kids. It's okay to feel this way, just remember that your little brother didn't do anything. And if you need to spend time with any one, just ask. In fact, if you want to come and spend some time at the ranch with us, you can." Louise said to Yellow Rabbit. Yellow Rabbit smiled.

"I understand White Fire. I would like to come and spend time with Uncle and your family. Maybe, mother and father will allow me to." Yellow Rabbit said. She stood up and offered Louise her hand to help her up. Yellow Rabbit hugged Louise. Suddenly Louise felt uneasy. Like they were being watched. She scanned the horizon and saw nothing. Louise told Yellow Rabbit that needed to hurry and get back. Louise and Yellow Rabbit raced back to the fire. Once back, Louise asked Buck to come and speak with her.

"What is it Lou?" Buck asked. He noticed the serious look on her face.

"Yellow Rabbit and I talked. When we finished and went to come back I felt like we were being watched. I was very uneasy." Louise said to Buck. Buck rubbed her arms and took her hand. They walked back over to the fire. He told Louise to stay there and wait for him to return. A few minutes later, Buck returned with Red Bear, Standing Elk, Sleeping Dog, and a few others from the Tdien-Pei-Gah Warrior Society. Buck asked Louise to tell the others what she had told him. After she finished the story, Buck replied that the sentries had reported some Arapaho a little too close to the village. Red Bear instructed the members to keep watch and be on the ready. All the warriors including Buck went back to their dwellings and retrieved their weapons.

Once the fire was out, all the families returned to their dwellings. Buck went inside with Louise. He made sure that Teresa was sleeping soundly. He turned and saw Louise had changed into her long johns and was settling down in his bed space. He went over and sat down next to her. He handed her her gun and told her to keep alert. If needed, run for the river and the tree line. Buck laid down next to her and waited until she fell asleep. He slipped out and went to take watch. Just as the sun came up on the horizon, they attacked.

Louise was awoken by the sound of a war cry. She went to Teresa and woke her up. Teresa slipped on her dress and followed Louise. Louise went for Red Bears dwelling. Dancing Spirit was putting Grey Fox in his cradle board. Yellow Rabbit and Red Flower were crying. There were loud shouts and war cries all around them. Louise told Teresa to get the girls and follow them towards the river. Louise took Dancing Spirits hand and they exited the dwelling. They took off at a run for the river. Louise could tell the Arapaho had black markings on their faces and horses. As they ran Louise spotted Buck shooting down multiple Arapaho with his arrows. He went and retrieved them to start shooting again. He saw Lou off to the side with his family. As Louise was almost to the river she heard two different war cries from in front of her. She looked closer and saw Red Bear being cornered. Louise told Dancing Spirit to go and take the children. Louise ran over and fired one shot, killing the Arapaho instantly. Red Bear holding his arm looked at her and nodded. She nodded back. She turned to head towards the tree line when she heard a woman scream. Louise headed towards the sounds and found Sleeping Dog's wife under an Arapaho warrior being struck repeatedly. Louise leveled her gun and fired another shot, killing the warrior instantly. She pushed him off Sleeping Dog's wife and pulled her up to her feet. She told her to run for the tree line; Dancing Spirit was there. She nodded and Louise turned back around to join the fight. She killed three more warriors before the Kiowa declared victory and all the Arapaho were dead. Louise saw Red Bear coming into the village. She went to him and started looking at his arm. She told him it was just a flesh wound. Red Bear asked about his family and Louise told him they were safe. She would get them as soon as everything was safe again.

Buck had been frantically looking for Red Bear. He finally saw him and was shocked to see Lou was with him. Buck ran over to the them and grabbed Lou. He hugged her so tight she thought she would suffocate.

"Lou, are you hurt? Are you alright? What are you doing here? I told you to get to the tree line." Buck's voice was getting louder. He was so scared that she was hurt.

"Buck, I'm fine. Really. Honest. I was leading Dancing Spirit and the girls when I saw a warrior attacking Red Bear. I told them to go on to the tree line. I couldn't leave Red Bear there. After I shot that warrior I heard a woman scream. I ran and found Sleeping Dog's wife being beaten. So I killed that warrior. I helped her to her feet and told her to head for the tree line. I turned around and killed three more before I heard the victory cry." Louise told Buck and Red Bear, Sleeping Dog and Red Hawk joined them a few minutes later and heard the end of the story. Louise excused herself and headed for the tree line. She headed into the trees by the river. She called out to Dancing Spirit. After a few yards, Louise spotted the group. Dancing Spirit was tending to Sleeping Dog's wife. Red Flower held Gray Fox. Teresa held Yellow Rabbit. Louise hugged them all. She then told them that it was safe and to follow her.

Louise led them out of the tree line and back to the village. The men had already gathered up the dead Arapaho and burned the bodies. After all the families were reunited, everyone had something to eat and began to go on about their day. Louise took some of their things to the river to wash. Teresa had run off with the girls, Red Hawk and Gray Wolf. Buck returned to the dwelling and saw that Louise was not there. He grabbed another pair of pants and headed for the river. He came up on the river and stopped suddenly. He heard crying. He looked around and saw Louise sitting at the tree line. He walked towards her. As he drew closer he realized that she had been washing their clothes. They were hanging on the nearby tree branches. He stopped when he realized that she was sitting on a rock half into the water, naked.

"I know you're there Buck." Louise said without turning to face him.

"Sorry Lou. I'll just be down here." Buck said as he turned to go back down the river a ways.

"Don't be silly Buck. Get over here and get cleaned up." Louise said to Buck. Lou got up and went to put on her dress. Buck watched in awe as Louise moved naked to where her dress was and put it on. Buck went to sit his stuff down and stripped down. He got into the water and began to wash the paint, blood, sweat, and dust from himself. Louise went back to her perch on the rocks.

"What's on your mind Lou?" Buck asked as he washed his hair.

"Just thinkin'." Louise answered.

"About?" Buck replied. He dunked his head under the water to wash the soap out.

"The raid. How people could attack innocent people like your village. The Kiowa haven't been making trouble for anyone. I guess there is hate and injustice everywhere." Louise said.

"You're right Lou. It happens all the time. I'm just glad we were here to help. The warriors have all told Red Bear how much respect they have for you." Buck told Louise. Buck looked around. He wanted to make sure they were alone.

"Buck, you can get out whenever. It's not like I don't know what a man looks like. Besides, didn't you say your people have no shame when looking at one another." Lou said. "Besides, you saw me naked. I just hope you liked what you saw."

"All right Louise." Buck said. He looked her dead in the eye as he emerged from the water. He had no shame in his body. He made his way over to Louise and bent down over her. "I know I liked what I saw. I hope you like what you see."

"I see a lot to like Buck Cross." Louise leaned up and kissed him. Buck kissed her back. As Lou moaned into his mouth he pulled away.

"We can't Lou." Buck said as he went to his clothes. He pulled his pants on and tried to get himself under control. Louise came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Why not Buck? I . . . I want to. Don't you want me?" Louise said barely above a whisper.

"It's not that Lou. You have no idea how much I want you. But. . . we can't. You're still married. I won't have the people in town thinking badly of you and saying I broke up your marriage. I lo. . . I care about you too much for that to happen." Buck said. He knew Louise wouldn't understand, but he had to try.

"Kid and I aren't married anymore. At least not to me. But I understand Buck. Just please . . . please don't stop being my friend." Louise asked. She had tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I would never stop being your friend." Buck said as he turned to face her. He wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed her again.

Louise gathered their laundry and they returned to the village. Louise and Buck slept next to each for the rest of their trip. Yellow Rabbit began acting like her old self and even started loving on her brother. Louise and Teresa were sad to be leaving but promised to visit again. Buck hugged his brother and promised to return soon. Red Bear reminded him to have patience. The small family left the village to head home. Their month long trip had been so exciting.

April turned into to May and May into June at the Ranch. The business continued to grow. Emily and Ike had mended their relationship and were back to being like newlyweds. Jimmy and Amanda took Jeremiah with them to see Lydia graduate with her teaching certificate. While they were there for the graduation, Lydia asked Jimmy and Amanda if she could come and live with them for a little while. They agreed. Lydia told them she had written to the Rock Creek Town Council and asked if they had a teaching position available. She was happy to hear that there was. The current teacher, who took Rachel's place the year before, would be leaving to go to California with her husband and would be leaving at the end of the term. Lydia wrote them back and included a transcript with her grades and told them she would be graduating. She was offered an interview in June. Lydia packed up her things and let Ms. Fletcher know she had arranged for all of her things to be sent to Rock Creek. Ms. Fletcher was sad to see Lydia go but understood. Jimmy, Amanda, Jeremiah, and Lydia headed back to Rock Creek.

Lydia had her interview with the Town Council and even brought two letters of recommendation from her school. She was offered the job on the spot, which she gladly accepted. The job even came with housing, which Jimmy promptly told her she would be expected for meals and no overnight company. As a deputy of Rock Creek, he would know.

Teaspoon and Rachel had become quite the pair. They seemed made for each other. They also acted as grandparents for Teresa. Teresa spent just as much time at their house as she did her own. Teaspoon continued on as marshal. Rachel kept house and made sure everything was in order with the ranch. She was in charge of supply ordering for the ranch. Everyone gave her their orders and she placed them with Thompkins. Rachel would square up the bills at the end of the month.

Buck and Lou had gone back to being Buck and Lou. They continued to share meals, their evenings, picnics, swims, and he even continued to tuck her in at night before going to the bunkhouse. Buck, Louise, and Ike even went to an auction together for a week. They would steal kisses every once in awhile. They were finding it harder and harder to keep things friendly between them. Things were going well at the Bar PXF Ranch. Perhaps, a little to well.

The end of July came. Jeremiah and Lydia had officially been courting for about a month. Jimmy was pleased to find that Jeremiah was true to his word and was a complete gentleman. Jeremiah had even sat down with Lydia, Jimmy, Amanda, Louise, and Buck and let them know that he wanted to marry Lydia. However, he wanted to wait until he could build them a house and provide for her the way she deserved. He made it clear that he while he wanted to marry her, he would not be asking for at least a couple of years. This relieved the adults and excited Lydia to know that he loved her so much. Louise and Jimmy both agreed to the plan.

August came and found Louise again acting strangely. This time though she talked to Buck. She didn't push him away. She told him how this time last year she had recovered from the loss of the baby and Kid had been gone almost a year. She was sad to have to remember the miscarriage but wasn't sad at all that Kid left. She didn't miss him actually.

The town of Rock Creek hosted a Sadie Hawkins dance that month. Louise promptly asked Buck if he would be her date. He happily accepted and was told to wear a light blue tie. The night of the dance came. Teresa went over with Rachel and Teaspoon. Jeremiah went to pick up Lydia. Jimmy escorted Amanda. Ike escorted Emily.

Buck went up to the house and knocked on the door. He opened the door and called to Louise. She told him to take a seat and she would be down in a moment. Buck sat down on the settee. About ten minutes later, Buck stood up when he heard Louise on the steps. His mouth fell open at the sight of her. Louise was wearing a light blue slim bodice dress with a Victorian skirt that gathered in the back and draped in the front. The off the shoulder puff sleeves and around the neck were trimmed with a white lace. She had her hair pulled up in a French twist with ringlet curls. She had on white elbow length gloves. Blue stone earrings and necklace set off the outfit. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked at Buck.

Buck was wearing a new navy blue suit. A crisp white shirt complete with a light blue string tie. His long hair was pulled back with a piece of leather. He had even dusted and polished his boots. Buck walked over and offered his hand. Louise put her hand in his and he gently kissed the second knuckle. He took her hand and wrapped it in his. He escorted her to the dance. The two danced all night. They even danced with the rest of their family members. As the evening came to an end, Buck and Louise walked under the stars. Teresa asked to spend the night with Susanna and Louise agreed. When Louise and Buck made it back to the house he escorted her inside. Louise went upstairs to change while Buck made the pair coffee. Buck was waiting for her on the settee with a cup of coffee for them both. He had removed his tie and white shirt and was sitting in his suit pants and long john top. Louise came and sat beside him in her nightgown and robe. The two talked about the dance and how much fun they had. Once they finished their coffee, Louise said she was tired and ready for bed. Buck stood up and pulled Louise to her feet. They stood there for a moment. Their eyes met.

Buck leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. Louise took hold of his hand and led him up the stairs. In front of her door she turned around and pulled Buck to her. She locked his lips in a seductive, smoldering kiss. Buck put his hands on her waist and continued to kiss her. Louise backed Buck into her room and didn't bother to close the door. She reached out and pulled his long john top over his head, tossing it to the floor. She continued to back him up until he sat down on the bed. She climbed up and straddled his lap. As Louise finally broke their kiss, she reached down to remove her robe.

"Louise, wait." Buck broke the stillness of the moment. Louise looked at him. She had hurt and anger in her eyes. "Lou, we've talked about this. It's not that I don't want to have sex with you. I can't let my feelings interfere. You are worth more than that. And after tonight, seeing us at the dance, I'm sure the townspeople will have us married by morning."

"You're so full of shit Buck Cross! I told you I don't give a damn about what anyone outside of this fence line thinks. My marriage is over and has been for more than a year. You can't kiss someone the way you kiss me and not have feelings for that person." Louise was getting angrier by the minute. "You're my best friend. Hell, you and I might as well be married the way we act. The only thing different is we aren't sharing a bed."

"Wait a minute Lou. I have told you how I feel about things. Just because you say your marriage is over doesn't mean the law says it's over. Damn it Lou, I could be hung for being with you. Why? Because you're a married woman. A married white woman who's husband is just not here. I am a half breed bastard that would be blamed for breaking up your marriage." Buck fired back at her. He wasn't going to made a fool. He loved her but she needed to understand that more than love was on the line.

"That's such horse shit Buck! I am so tired of everyone telling me what to do and how to feel. I am a woman. A woman who wants a man. A woman who wants what you have. I want you Buck! Why can't you see that!" Louise screamed back at him. She felt so betrayed. How could he lead her on like that. It never dawned on her that he could be right.

"Lou, I want you too. You have no idea how much I want you. . . but. . ." Buck was about to try and get his point across, again.

"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Louise hollered at him. She turned her back on him and tried to take some deep breaths to calm down. She heard Buck get up and leave the room. A few moments later she heard the front door close. Louise broke down into sobs. She realized how much she loved that man and wasn't sure how much longer she could go on without him. She pulled off her robe and laid down in bed. She thought about what he had said and realized that he was right. As bad as she didn't want to admit it.

Buck left the house and headed for the barn. He went in and started brushing down Warrior. His tears were slowly escaping his eyes. After he had finished brushing down Warrior, Buck put away all the brushes. He went back and laid his head against Warrior's neck. He stayed there. He wasn't even sure how long. He heard someone come in through the door.

"Buck. Buck, I'm sorry." Louise said softly. "I just . . . I want to be with you. I love you so much and I just want to be with you. I understand now what you are saying and your reasons. I was just hurt and felt like you didn't want me."

Buck turned around. He looked into her eyes. He didn't know what to do. This woman was standing before him. The woman he loved. She was asking him to love her. She was giving him her love. Buck closed the gap between them. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him. He plunged his mouth on hers and kissed her deeply.

"I have always wanted you." Buck said to her breathlessly as he pulled his lips from hers. "And now, I'm going to show you just how much."

Buck pulled her closer and crushed his mouth on hers. Lou responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and running her hands through his black hair. Buck reached down and grabbed her backside and lifted her. Lou wrapped her legs around his body as he led her over to one of the clean stalls with fresh hay. He sat her down on a bale of hay and untied her robe. He pushed her robe off her shoulders. He kissed her along her jaw and down her neck. Lou was frantically kissing him back. She reached down and undid his belt and fasteners on his pants. As she stood up from the bale of hay, she bent down and pulled his pants and long johns down. Buck stepped out of his pants and pulled Lou back up to face him.

Buck grabbed her night gown and pulled it up over her head. He pulled her back into his body as if she were tonic for a dying man. He lowered her down onto the fresh hay, continuously kissing her. Running his tongue along her lips, she happily enjoyed his kissing. She moaned into his mouth as he reached down and ran his thumb over her hard nipple. He kissed and nipped his way down her neck and across her collarbone. Then, he lowered his head and licked her left nipple. Then, the right. He took her left breast in his mouth and began to suck. He then took her right breast in his mouth and gave it more attention sucking and flicking his tongue along the delicate pale skin. The fingers on his left hand lightly glided down the smoothness of her abdomen. Once he found his treasure, he parted her lips and rubbed his finger along her clit. Lou jumped from pleasure. Buck began kissing his way down her abdomen. As he did he pulled her legs up and settled in the middle. He took his hands and parted her lips again. He gently, slowly licked the left lip and then the right. He licked the middle up. Down. Slow. Steady. Then faster. Twisting his tongue in circles. He shifted his hands and held her lips with his right hand as his fingers on his left hand gently circled her now wet core. As he began to suck on her sensitive clit he slid two fingers inside her. Lou arched her back and moaned loudly. The touch was almost too much. She started to move her hips in a rhythm and suddenly Buck stopped sucking and began flicking his tongue again. Lou had an exquisite orgasm moaning Buck's name. Just as soon she moaned his name Buck sat up and pulled Lou into his lap with her back still laying on the hay. He leaned forward slightly and shoved his painfully engorged manhood inside her wetness. Lou called out at the surprise but Buck didn't stop. He held her thighs as he thrust in and out in a fast, steady rhythm. Lou was soon calling out as he began to play with her clit again. Buck could feel the tightness in his balls. He was about to explode. He looked down at the woman in his lap. The woman he was screwing; God she was beautiful. He threw his head back and closed his eyes as she cried out his name again and again. He moaned her name and he came inside her. After he was finished, he pulled out and settled down next to her. He pulled her onto his chest and laid there with her. He had screwed the only woman he had ever really loved. He had crossed the line. What were they going to do?

Buck felt himself drifting off to sleep. He went to wake up Lou so they could go to the house when he realized she wasn't there. He bolted upright and called out. He realized that he was in the barn, alone. He still had on his pants. He was laying in the clean stall. He must have fallen asleep and dreamed the whole thing. But it was so real. He could still feel her. Still feel the warmth of her. Sweat rolled down his face. He made a decision in that moment. He got up and went to the bunkhouse. He quietly packed up his things.

It was before dawn. The stillness in the air brought about pain. Pain of knowing that this was what he had to do; leaving was for the best. The decision to leave was not made hastily. He had weighed his options and had no other choice. Stay and possibly ruin everything including the lives of all of those he held dear. Leave and be miserable with himself, however everything and everyone would be fine. He always thought that he could stay and accept things the way they were. Just being close was enough. He knew better now.

He had always loved her. First as a friend, then as a sister. At least that's what he thought. Over the last year, they had become much closer than ever. Even much more playful with each other. He now knew that he was _in_ love with her. He wanted to make her his own and live a long happy life hand in hand with her. But that was not possible. Not with the wife of a man who was considered a brother, best friend, and business partner.

Buck walked into the barn quickly and quietly. He moved with precision and swiftness. He saddled his stallion, Warrior. He secured his saddlebags and double checked the cinches. He took a slow deep breath and exhaled, a tear escaping down his cheek. Buck walked Warrior out of the barn and mounted. With a quick click, Warrior began to trot out of the yard and into the dark.


	11. The Storm

**A/N: Thank you for not sending a rabid pack of baby spider monkeys after me. Things will start getting interesting now. Thanks to everyone who has read/reviewed. I sincerely appreciate it. Same WARNINGS apply. **

"She's finding out the answers don't change nothing at all., It's time that she stopped searching for who's to blame or what went wrong., The only thing for certain is he's gone,

Someday days just roll on by without a gray cloud in the sky., She keeps telling herself, "I will make it on my own"., And her friends they've all gone back to their lives,, Thinking she will be alright,, As she races through the night to make it home. The door it slams like thunder and the tears they fall like rain.

Oh, she's drowning in emotions and she cannot reach the shore.  
She's alive but can she survive the storm." ~ Garth Brooks

Chapter 10

The Storm

Rock Creek, Nebraska

August 1863

Louise woke the next morning feeling guilty. She wanted to be with Buck more than anything, but he was right. In the eyes of the law, she was a married white woman whose husband was not there. If she took a lover, especially a half-breed Indian, reputations would be ruined. Hers. The ranch. Buck's. Everyone who owned a stake in the ranch. Buck would be hung. He was her best friend and the best way to show her his love and friendship was to respect the boundaries. She knew that things just needed to stay the way they are until her divorce was final. Louise got up and dressed. She made her way downstairs and started breakfast.

Jeremiah came in a little while later after washing up. The siblings greeted each other and Louise fixed them both a plate. She made another plate for Buck and sat it on the stove to stay warm. She pulled out two starter doughs and sat them out to bake bread later. She sat down with Jeremiah and took a sip of her coffee.

"Buck coming in a few minutes?" Louise asked Jeremiah as they started eating. Jeremiah looked up at her with a confused look.

"Uhm, I thought he was here. With you. He didn't come back to the bunkhouse that I know of. His bed hasn't been slept in. I'm sorry Lou. I just assumed he spent the night here with you." Jeremiah said to his sister, blushing. Louise took in what Jeremiah had said.

"No, he left and I thought he went to the bunkhouse. What do you mean he didn't sleep in his bed. Is he in the barn?" Louise asked, panic starting to rise in her. Jeremiah shook his head no. Louise got up and went out the front door. She ran down to the barn with Jeremiah on her heels. She saw that Warrior was missing. His tack was gone. His saddle blanket was gone. She ran to the bunkhouse and threw open the door. She saw that his gun, gun belt, hat, saddlebag, and clothes were gone. His bed was still neatly made. His suit from the night before was pooled at the foot of the bed.

She stood there a minute. Tears streaming down her face. Jeremiah put his arm around Louise and hugged her. Louise shrugged him off and ran back to her house. She ran up the front steps and stopped at the door. She leaned her head against the door and took some deep breaths. Her tears falling down her cheeks; she refused to wipe them. There had to be an explanation. He wouldn't just leave. He couldn't. He wouldn't do that. Not to her. Please God.

She went to open the door and her head looked towards the swing. She noticed something on the swing. She walked over slowly. She picked up the folded piece of paper that bore her name. She recognized his neat script on the front. She swallowed hard and opened the piece of paper.

_Louise, _

_I have always loved you. I have always wanted you. _

_I will always love you. I'm sorry._

_ Buck_

Louise swallowed hard again. She let the tears roll down her cheeks unabashedly. She ran across the yard to Rachel's. She flung the door open yelling for Teaspoon and Rachel. The pair came running around the corner from their kitchen.

"Is Buck here? Please. Tell me you've seen him." Louise said through her tears. She was panting and felt the tightness on her chest.

"Buck's not here Lou. We haven't seen him since last night. What's going on?" Teaspoon said trying to get Louise to sit down. Lou shook out of his hold saying 'Jimmy'. She took off in the direction of Jimmy and Amanda's house. Teaspoon looked at Rachel who had tears of concern and fright in her eyes. Louise flung the door of Jimmy and Amanda's house open.

"Jimmy! JIMMY! Amanda!" Louise began looking through the downstairs of their house. Just then Jimmy came down the stairs in nothing but his long john bottoms. He looked at Lou and knew something was wrong. She was crying and panting and clutching her chest. Jimmy went to hold her but she shoved him away.

"Where's Buck? He's here isn't he. Tell me you know where he is?" Louise gasped as she spoke. Amanda came down the stairs with her robe on.

"What's going on Lou? The last time we saw Buck he was walking you home." Jimmy tried to hold her again as he spoke. He looked at Amanda when Lou again pushed him away. Amanda was shocked. Louise whispered 'Ike' as she ran from The Cottage. She ran all the way Ike and Emily's house. Ike was coming out the door and saw Lou running towards him. He caught her on the porch.

"Buck. He's here right. He had breakfast with you and Emily. He's inside right. Please tell me he's inside. Let me in so I can see him." Lou panted out at a scream. Ike shook his head no. Emily opened the door after hearing all the screaming.

"Buck's not here Lou. The last time we saw him was at the dance." Emily said to Louise. Louise screamed 'NO! NO! Not again. Not BUCK! Please!' as she collapsed into Ike's arms. Ike lifted her up and took her inside and laid her on their couch. Jimmy, Amanda, Teaspoon, Rachel, and Jeremiah ran up after hearing the screams.

"What's going on here!?" Jimmy exclaimed as he ran up. Emily explained what had happened. Rachel arrived with a cool cloth and began wiping Lou's forehead. Teaspoon pulled the letter from Lou's hand.

"What's this?" Teaspoon said as he opened the letter. He read the letter and took a deep breath. "Lordy, Lord."

"What is it Teaspoon?" Jimmy asked. Louise was still out cold. They were all getting nervous.

"Buck's gone." Teaspoon said to the group. Jimmy grabbed the letter from Teaspoon and read it. He took a deep breath and ran a shaky hand down his face. Ike grabbed the letter from Jimmy with tears escaping his eyes. Ike read the letter and what happened next, no one expected. Ike was so overcome. He didn't know what to do. His brother was gone. He had left him and Louise.

"No. . . No . . .NO!" Ike got louder with every syllable. His voice was just barely audible, but everyone gasped. The family looked at him. They couldn't believe that Ike had just spoke. For the first time in almost fifteen years, he spoke. His tears were flowing freely. He turned and walked out the door. He strode purposefully towards the barn. He saddled his horse and took off out of the barn at a gallop. The family was left staring at each other.

Teaspoon told Jimmy to pick up Louise and take her to her house and put her in her bed. Jeremiah and Amanda followed behind him. Teaspoon stayed and put his hand on Emily's shoulder. Rachel pulled her into a hug.

"He. Spoke. My Ike can talk." Emily said as tears escaped down her cheeks. She couldn't believe it. "What happened with Buck? What was in the letter Teaspoon?"

"He just said that he had always loved and wanted Louise and that he always would. He said he was sorry and signed his name. Knowing Buck, he won't be found unless he wants to be found. Louise is taking this pretty bad. We all know how those two feel about each other. There's more to this story I think." Teaspoon said. Rachel and Emily nodded in agreement. Emily knew Ike would come home when he got ready. Emily told Teaspoon and Rachel she was fine and to go and check on Louise. She would be by later.

Jimmy put Louise in her bed. Amanda pulled out a nightdress and waited for Rachel to help change Louise. Jeremiah went out to check the stock not knowing what else to do. Lydia met Jeremiah in the barn and found him staring into space. She went up to him and put her arms around his waist. He inhaled deeply and put his hand over hers. Lydia instantly knew something was wrong. When Jeremiah turned around, He told Lydia about the letter and Louise collapsing. Lydia gasp in disbelief. She kissed Jeremiah briefly on the lips and told him she was going to see if she could help Amanda. Lydia went up to the house and found Jimmy and Amanda in the living room. She explained that Jeremiah told her what had happened and she wanted to know if Amanda needed any help with anything. Amanda asked her to help her change Louise into a nightdress. The ladies went upstairs and changed Louise.

Teaspoon and Rachel came into the house as Lydia and Amanda came back downstairs. Rachel decided that she and Teaspoon would be staying at the house until Louise was better. Teresa would need to be looked after as well. Jimmy went out to help Jeremiah. Teaspoon went on to the jail. A couple of hours later, Emily came by and the ladies all had lunch together. No one could figure out what had happened to cause Buck to leave like that. Without a goodbye. Just gone.

Ike had his horse at full express speed. He was hurt. He was angry. He was sad. He was excited. Buck was gone. What had happened? He had spoken. He thought he would never speak again. After a few miles he pulled his horse to a canter and let him have his head. Once he found a stream, he stopped and unsaddled his horse. He hobbled the horse and sat down by the fast flowing stream. He knew he would never find Buck unless Buck wanted to be found. He had a days lead on them anyway. Ike stayed there until he saw the sun settings. He tacked his horse back up and set out for home.

Ike got back to the barn as night set in. He put his horse up and headed for his home. He saw the light was still on so Emily was still up. He stepped onto the porch and took a deep breath. He opened the door and walked in. Emily stood up and walked over to him and hugged him. Ike broke down again and cried into her shoulder. Emily just held him. After a few minutes, Ike pulled away and looked into her eyes. He put a finger under her chin and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you Emily McSwain." Ike said, barely above a whisper. Emily smiled and kissed him again.

"I love you Ike McSwain." Emily whispered into his ear. Ike picked Emily up and carried her to their bedroom. He spent all night proving that love to her. He called her name as many times as he could just to hear the sound. Their night was amazing and Ike forgot all his troubles for a few beautiful hours.

Rachel made supper at Louise's house. Rachel told Teresa about what had happened that day and she ran to her room and hadn't come out since. Rachel checked on Louise every so often but there was still no change. She had Jimmy take Teaspoon some supper at the jail. Teaspoon came to the house a few hours later stating that he had gotten one of the other deputies to take the night shift. He and Rachel settled into one of the guest bedrooms for the night. Teaspoon wanted to know what exactly had led to this turn of events.

Buck had ridden most of the night. The moon was full so he had plenty of light. He stopped and rested his horse and himself only a few hours before he was back on the trail. He didn't know where he was headed but he needed to get there. He rode all the next day stopping only to water his horse and rest for small spells. That night he stopped and rested most of the night. He was sure now that no one was following him. He didn't expect them too, but if they were he would need to change his route. He knew what he was doing was best but that didn't make it any easier. He cried that night missing her. Knowing that she was probably blaming herself. He had never meant to cause her pain or grief, but he would not ruin everything they had worked so hard to build.

The next morning he tacked up his horse again and continued west. He rode all day again stopping only when necessary. He stopped for the night and knew he was close to the Wyoming border. He decided he was probably far enough away to start over. He rode over the border the next day and stopped in Cheyenne. He went into the general store and bought some provisions. He heard a ranch hand talking to the store owner about needing some more help. Buck went outside and waited for the hand to come out of the store. A little while later the hand walked out and headed for the wagon that was loaded down with supplies.

"Excuse me sir. I couldn't help over hearing that you need some help on a ranch. I have plenty of experience and would like offer my services." Buck said as he extended his hand. The ranch hand shook his hand.

"Well, how many years and what kind of experience?" The ranch hand asked.

"Well, I'm half Kiowa so I was raised around horses. When I was seventeen I joined the Pony Express. After the express shut down, I went to work on a ranch in Rock Creek, The Bar PXF. I've got experience doing just about anything concerning a horse." Buck replied to the ranch hand. The ranch hand smiled.

"I'm Travis Burch. I work on The Burch Corral Ranch. My father owns the ranch. We'd be glad to have a former Pony Express rider and worker from the Bar PXF. They have the best of Nebraska." Thomas said to Buck. Buck couldn't help but smile. He was proud their reputation was that well known.

"Can I ask you something Mr. Burch? Is my half-breed status going to be a problem? I don't want to cause any trouble. I'm just an honest man looking for honest work." Buck said to Travis. Travis smiled.

"It's just Travis. Mr. Burch is my father. And it's not a problem as far as anyone on our property is concerned. Everyone else has too much respect for my father to say anything. So, no. It won't be a problem at all." Travis said to Buck. Buck smiled and went to mount his horse. He followed the wagon back to the ranch. Buck knew immediately the ranch was a reputable place. Travis introduced Buck and showed him around. Buck settled into the bunkhouse and put his horse in the barn that held personal mounts. He knew he would fit in easily. Everyone was friendly and helpful. He had no bad feelings or omens.

Over the next couple of weeks, Buck proved himself to be a valuable and hard working employee. He enjoyed the company of his coworkers however it wasn't the same. They would never be family. Friends absolutely, but never family.

The next morning Rachel went in to check on Louise. There had been no change as far as she could see. She went and knocked on Teresa's door and pushed it open. Teresa was still asleep. She still had on her dress from the day before. Rachel figured she had just laid on the bed and cried herself to sleep. Rachel shut the door back and went downstairs. She cooked up breakfast and soon Teaspoon came in the house followed by Jeremiah. Rachel handed each of them a cup of coffee. She shook her head no at Teaspoon's questioning look. She sat their plates of breakfast down in front of them. As they started eating, Teresa came around the corner. Rachel stood up and embraced her. Teresa went and climbed into Teaspoons lap as Rachel made her a plate. Teaspoon hugged the girl and Jeremiah took her hand in his. Rachel sat the plate of food down and Teresa went to her chair. She picked at the food. Once everyone was finished, Rachel cleaned up the kitchen. Teresa went out onto the porch and sat in the swing. Jeremiah went back to work. Teaspoon went to the jail.

Rachel went upstairs and looked in on Louise and was surprised to see that she had rolled over on her side. Rachel walked around and saw that Louise had her eyes open. Louise was just laying there. Rachel sat down on the bed and pushed the hair out of Louise's face.

"He's really gone isn't he?" Louise asked Rachel.

"I'm afraid so honey." Rachel answered.

"I can't believe he left me. He said he would never hurt me." Louise said as she started to cry.

"Louise, did something happen. Between the two of you. Why would Buck have left?" Rachel asked Louise.

"I wanted him Rachel. I wanted to love him, to make love to him. He told me that we couldn't. I was still a married woman in the eyes of the law. I know he is right but last night. . . last night we were kissing and things were getting pretty heated. He said we needed to stop and I got mad. I told him to get out." Louise told Rachel. Rachel nodded her head in understanding. These two were finally getting somewhere and Buck was playing by the rules.

"Louise, that wasn't last night. After you found the note from Buck, you came to my house. Then, to Jimmy's. Then, to Ike's. You collapsed into Ike's arms. You've been unconscious ever since. The dance was night before last." Rachel told Louise. Louise just stared forward. Rachel got up and went downstairs. She fixed Lou a plate and took it back upstairs. She put the plate down on the bedside table and told Lou to eat. Teresa sat on the porch swing all day. She came in to eat a few bites of a sandwich and then went back out. Rachel took Lou a sandwich and saw that she hadn't touched her breakfast. She left the sandwich and took the breakfast plate back downstairs.

Things stayed like this for about two weeks. Louise wouldn't get out of bed. She barely ate. She barely slept. Teresa moped around and either spent her days riding Firefly, by the creek, or on the porch swing. Louise eventually started getting out of bed but she wouldn't leave the house.

September came and with it came the start of the school year. Lydia started out the year with her class and things were going great. Over the course of the month, Louise started eating again. She started sleeping again. She dreamed of that night every night. Sometimes they made love, soft and tender. Sometimes, she yelled at him to get out. Louise prayed every night that he was safe and that he would come home.

October found the ranch back to normal. Everyone had gone back to the usual except for Louise. She hardly spoke. She went through the motions every day. One day, She was sitting in the swing on the front porch. Ike was in the corral and looked up at her. The two hadn't spoken since that fateful day in August. Ike tried to not be around Louise fearing that she would be too sad. Today, however, he decided maybe they should talk.

"Hey, Jeremiah, I'm going to talk to Louise. I'll be back in a little while." Ike said. Jeremiah nodded. Ike headed out of the corral and up to the porch. He climbed the steps and approached the swing. Louise appeared to not realize he was even there.

"Mind if I sit down?" Ike asked Louise.

"Not at all." Louise answered as she slid over to give him room to sit. The pair sat for a couple of minutes just swinging in silence.

"Where do you think he is?" Louise asked. "Do you think he went to his village? Maybe he rejoined the tribe."

"I doubt that Lou. And you know Buck as well as I do. If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be. There is absolutely no telling where he went. He could be anywhere." Ike answered softly. Louise put her head on his shoulder. She took a deep breath and exhaled, knowing he was right. "I do know he is okay. I feel that. I feel that he is healthy and fine."

"Me too Ike. I feel that too." Louise replied. Suddenly she realized something. Something that had escaped her attention until now. Ike was . . . "Ike. . . you can . . . TALK!"

"Yes. Ever since that day he left." Ike replied. Louise hugged him and tears fell from her eyes. "The doctor said that trauma caused me to stop speaking and trauma caused me to start again. We just haven't had a chance to talk since that day. I was afraid."

"Of what Ike?" Louise asked.

"That you wouldn't speak to me. That because of me being so close to him, that you would be angry with me." Ike replied. He smiled slightly at Louise.

"No Ike. I'm angry at myself. I should have never told to him to get out." Louise told Ike. Ike looked at her in confusion. He thought everything was going well between the two of them. "That night he walked me home from the dance. We had our usual cup of coffee by the fire in the living room. He walked me up to my room. I . . . kissed him. Passionately. We had been enjoying each other's kisses for a while but we had never done anything else. I . . . tried to . . . I wanted him Ike. I still do. I wanted him in my bed. He eventually pushed me away. He said that I was still a married woman and that it wasn't right. I know he was right. But I got angry. I yelled and told him to get out. The next morning I found the note. It's all my fault."

"No Lou. It's nobody's fault. If he left, he had his reasons. It took me this long to come to terms with that. He'll come home. Eventually." Ike said as he hugged Louise. He got up and headed back towards the corral. Louise got up and went to the barn. She hugged Lightning and gave him a treat. Lightning ate his treat and looked over at Warrior's stall that was empty. This was even hard on the animals: Lightning missed Warrior.

Teresa had gone back to normal, at least as best she could. Her birthday was fast approaching and after that was thanksgiving. November was a busy month at the ranch. Ike and Emily celebrated their wedding anniversary. There had been no word from Kid or Buck. Louise was adjusting to life again. She had started riding again. She still wasn't smiling much. She wasn't sleeping well. It seemed as if a part of her was missing. Emily, Rachel, and Amanda did their best to keep her occupied and happy. They would have her over for dinner, go into town and shop, go for picnics. However, try as they might, Louise stayed sad.

The day before Teresa's birthday, Teaspoon and Jimmy were at the jail. A local boy came over carrying a package. He handed the package to Teaspoon and Teaspoon gave him a nickel. The boy smiled as he run off. Teaspoon looked at the package and saw the familiar handwriting and drew in a deep breath. He handed the package over to Jimmy. Jimmy also recognized the script. After handing the package back to Teaspoon, Teaspoon stood up and told Jimmy to keep an eye on things. Teaspoon headed for the ranch. He found Teresa talking to Louise on the front porch of the Big House.

"Uh, Teresa. This package came for you today." Teaspoon said as he handed the package over to her. Teresa looked over the package. Louise gasp as she recognized Buck's handwriting. Louise searched for a return address and there was none. Louise sat and watched Teresa open the package. Inside was a rabbit skin muff. Teresa burst into tears and ran off the porch. She didn't stop until she reached the west fence line. She threw her arms over the fence and sobbed.

A short time later, Teresa heard a horse approaching. She looked around and realized that she was alone in the pasture. She started to panic and back away from the fence. She backed up into a tree and snuck behind it to take cover. She looked around the tree and smiled when she recognized the rider. She ran to the fence and threw her arms around the rider with only the fence separating them.

"Red Hawk! I'm so glad to see you!" Teresa spoke to him in Kiowa. Red Hawk leaned down and kissed her softly on the cheek. Teresa giggled and blushed. "What brings you to the ranch?"

"I have come to ask if I may stay through the winter. I have completed my trials and am now a warrior. I would like to learn the ways of the white world. Running Buck said I would be welcome here and everyone could help teach me the ways of this world. I was hoping I could stay through the winter to learn." Red Hawk replied. Teresa began to cry. Red Hawk jumped the fence and pulled her into his embrace. He smoothed her hair and let her cry. Once she pulled away, Red Hawk wiped the tears from her face and held her hands. "What is wrong Little Star?"

"Running Buck . . . he. . . he left. He left us about three moons ago. We don't know where he went or where he is. My birthday is tomorrow and he sent me a gift. There was no return address on the package. You are more than welcome to stay." Teresa said to Red Hawk.

"I did not know Running Buck had left. I wanted to come for your birthday. I was hoping I had not missed it. Please allow me to speak with Strong Horse and White Fire as well as the rest of your family." Red Hawk replied.

"Come on to the house. You can speak with everyone there." Teresa replied as she walked with Red Hawk to the gate. Red Hawk guided his horse inside the fence and walked hand in hand with Teresa back to the house. Together they put away his horse. Just as they were finishing up, Jeremiah and Ike came into the barn. They stopped when they saw Red Hawk.

"Greetings Red Hawk. How have you been?" Jeremiah came over and shook Red Hawks hand.

"Nice to see you again Red Hawk." Ike signed to Red Hawk. Ike shook Red Hawks hand as well. "What brings you to the ranch? Is everything okay in the village?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I wish to speak with you Strong Horse and with White Fire. I would also like to speak with the rest of your family here at the ranch is possible." Red Hawk spoke as well as signed.

"I'll let Louise know that we will have a family dinner tonight. Ike, would you ask Emily to see what Louise will need help with. Teresa, would you go and ask Amanda to come and help also." Jeremiah said to everyone. Ike and Teresa nodded went to their respective assignments. "Come on Red Hawk. Let's put your stuff in the bunkhouse."

"Thank you Strong Horse." Red Hawk replied. He went with Jeremiah to the bunkhouse and put away his things. He then followed Jeremiah over to the Big House. Louise was putting some bread in the oven when the two men walked inside.

"Red Hawk! How nice to see you!" Louise smiled and went to hug the young man.

"It is nice to see you White Fire." Red Hawk replied.

"Louise, Red Hawk would like to speak to all of us as a family tonight. We need to have a big family dinner. I asked Ike to send Emily over and Teresa to get Amanda." Jeremiah explained. Louise nodded and said that everything would be ready. The young men went back out to the barn to finish the day's work.

That evening, the entire family gathered at the Big House. Louise had fixed some chicken stew and cornbread. Emily had made a bowl of fresh cabbage and a bowl of fresh green beans. Amanda had made plenty of tea. Rachel and Teresa made an apple crisp for dessert. The family ate and enjoyed each other's company. Jimmy finally spoke up and asked Red Hawk what he would like to speak with them about.

"I was not aware that Running Buck had left. He had agreed to help teach me the ways of the white man. To learn the language and customs. He said I would be safe here while learning. I am sorry that I came without him being here." Red Hawk spoke. Teresa translated for Teaspoon and Ike. Everyone looked around at the other.

"Red Hawk, Running Buck left on his own. We are unsure why he left and where he went. I am fully aware of his promise to you. You are welcome and safe here. You will be protected here. We will teach you anything you would like to learn." Louise spoke. Red Hawk smiled knowing that he was still welcome and could achieve his goal. He wanted to help his people. "There are some rules though you should know about. First, we are a family here, but we all respect each other. Second, Teresa will be fourteen tomorrow and while I don't mind you two spending time together, I would like for you to have a chaperone with you. Third, make yourself at home."

"Thank you White Fire. I am humbled that you and your family are welcoming. I will honor not only you and your wishes, but that of all of you." Red Hawk said with a smile. He held Teresa's hand under the table.

Over the next few months, Teresa taught Red Hawk to read, write, and speak English. Jeremiah and Ike taught him the business side of the ranch. Jimmy and Teaspoon taught him all about the law. Everyone helped to teach the social customs and society expectations and rules. Red Hawk was learning a great deal and he was very thankful for this opportunity.

Red Hawk and Teresa were also able to spend time together. True to his word, Lydia or Jeremiah or both always accompanied them on their outings. Every Saturday, they would have a picnic. When it became too cold, they had their picnic in the living room. Sometimes they would go for ride after school. Apart from Louise being sad, life at the ranch had gone back to normal.

Buck had settled in nicely at the Burch Corral Ranch. Everyone was impressed with his knowledge and skill. Buck also learned a lot about the cattle business. Buck enjoyed working hard to try and forget. Forget the guilt. Forget the sadness.

Every Saturday the hands got the evening off. Most went to the saloon. Buck usually stayed at the ranch and read a book or went for a ride. Sometimes he would stay out on the prairie for the night. When the weather turned colder, he started going with the men to the saloon. He would find a good card game to either watch or sit in on.

One day in December, the men came in for supplies. Buck went to the post office to mail a package. Enclosed was a knife in a sheath that he had made. He wrapped it in brown parcel paper and wrote 'Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas Jeremiah' on the card. He also enclosed a set of soft pink riding gloves. The gloves were also wrapped in brown parcel paper and wrote 'Merry Christmas Teresa'. The last enclosure was a small fabric pouch containing a pair of silver hair clips that had a filigree design with small opals inset inside a small box. On the card he wrote 'Louise, Merry Christmas All my love always, Buck'. He addressed the package to Marshall Teaspoon Hunter, Rock Creek, Nebraska.

That Saturday, Buck joined the men at the saloon. He was watching a good game and actually laughing while drinking his sarsaparilla. Everyone knew Buck didn't drink. When he ordered a refill, the barmaid caught his eye. She had long brown hair and was petite. She had soft brown eyes and a beautiful smile. She reminded him of her.

Buck left his perch watching the game and approached the barmaid. She was walking around the room getting drink orders and refills.

"Hello." Buck said to her. The barmaid turned around and smiled. "Do you just serve the drinks or can we go upstairs?"

"I can do as I please actually. For a sexy man like you, we can go upstairs." The barmaid said as she smiled again. Buck couldn't believe he had been so bold. The woman put down her tray and grabbed Buck's hand. They headed up the stairs to the second door on the right. Her room had a double bed and some feminine knick knacks. She had a dressing table with a mirror. She also had a balcony.

Buck went in and sat down on the small bench that sat in front of the dressing table. The woman turned around and looked at Buck.

"I just . . .really needed . . . you." Buck said to her. She looked so much like her. He stood up and closed the distance between them easily. He pulled her to him roughly, crushing her mouth with his. She put her arms around his neck. She moaned into his kiss. Buck reached down and undid the stays from her corset. He tossed it to the side. He grabbed her camisole and yanked it over her head. He quickly shed his shirt and long john top. He pulled her back to him and continued his assault of her mouth. He held her breasts in his hands and he kissed her. Soon his hands went lower and pushed her skirt and pantalettes off her hips. Buck picked her up and carried her to the bed. He laid her down and stood up. He made short work of his pants and long john bottoms. He climbed on top of her and to her surprise, Buck continued to caress her breasts. He even suckled them. He reached his hand down between them and messaged her pleasure. She couldn't believe someone was paying attention to her. Buck sent her crashing over the edge and then thrust inside her. He rapidly thrust inside her sending her back over that edge and sending himself there as well. Buck spent the next few hours with her. Caressing her, feeling her, needing her, taking her. Louise was all he could think of. When Buck was exhausted, he got up and told her thank you for a wonderful evening. She leaned up on her elbow and smiled at him. He paid for her time and included extra for the amount of time. He got dressed and told her she would see him again. She smiled at the thought.

When Buck got back downstairs, he went up to the bar keep. He asked how much to make sure the woman he was just with only served drinks and him. The bar keep told him for fifty dollars a month, he would be able to keep her. She was still required to earn the rest thru the bar. Buck agreed and pulled out fifty dollars. He tipped his hat to the bar keep and left. When the woman came down a little while later, the bar keep informed her of her new position.

Over the next few months, Buck visited the saloon every Saturday. Every Saturday, he saw her. After their first night together, Buck was very reserved. Usually the two just talked or had dinner. The barmaid thanked her lucky stars for meeting this man. He was a gently and generous lover, but also a great friend. He talked often of a Louise and how much he loved her. How much she reminded him of her. He spoke of his adventures with the Pony Express. Every Saturday she looked forward to spending time him. She would enjoy every moment.

"So, What brought you to Cheyenne" The barmaid asked him one night.

"I was running. Running from her." Buck answered honestly. "I love her so much and I want to be with her, but it's not the right time. So, instead of ruining our friendship, I ran. What's your story?"

"I moved here when my parents died. I got this job and that's that." The barmaid replied. "I'm lucky to have met you."

"Why's that?" Buck asked.

"Because, I only serve the drinks now. I don't have to worry about someone not liking that I'm not going upstairs." The barmaid replied. Buck nodded. He wanted to keep her safe just as he wanted to keep Lou safe.

Buck knew that his behavior was out of his character. He normally would never take a working girl upstairs much less pay to have her all to himself. She was different though. Her contract stated that she was a barmaid and had the option to take men upstairs. She told Buck that she had never taken a man upstairs until him. She was so much like Lou. She was the best substitute he could find. Of course he could always go back home. No. That was out of the question. He couldn't risk hurting her like that. Being with him would cost her more than being without him. This was for the best. He hoped.

February arrived in Rock Creek and with it came some of the coldest weather in years. The ranch was still the best in Nebraska and doing quite well. Louise was still sad although not as much now. She seemed to be accepting her fate of loneliness. Teresa and Red Hawk were as close as two teenagers could be. They were both very respectful and always had a chaperone. Red Hawk announced that he would be leaving in a couple of months to return to the village. Teresa had developed a love of nursing and taking care of the sick. Ike and Emily were still very much in love as were Teaspoon and Rachel and Jimmy and Amanda. Life was going great. Until. . .

One day, towards the end of the month, another package arrived for Teaspoon. This time it was a crate marked with Confederate States of America insignia's. Teaspoon held his breath as he knew what was in the crate. He pried the lid open and inside was a duty saber, hat, a pair of riding gloves, and several medals. There was also a journal. On top of the stuff was a letter. Teaspoon opened the letter and began to read:

_Dearest Marshall Hunter,_

_With a heavy heart and great sadness I must send the news of the passing of your son, Capt. Alton T. Kendrick V, in December 1863 during the Battle of Mine Run. He was a fine officer and a hell of a good rider. He will be greatly missed. _

_He was a personal friend of mine. I managed to get a few of his things to return to you. He asked that if he should die for his home, to bury him at home. I personally oversaw the burial in Virginia. He spoke of you and of his family often and with fond memories. I wish you peace and comfort during this painful time. _

_ Sincerely,_

_ Major John Mitchell_

_ 4__th__ Virginia Calvary_

_ Army of Northern Virginia_

_ Confederate States of America_

Teaspoon closed the letter and put it back in the box. He replaced the lid and told his deputy that he would be back later. He picked up the box and headed for his house. Once he arrived, he sat the box down on the porch and went to sit in the swing. Tears were now rolling down his face. What the letter said was true. Kid was his son in every way but blood. His son was dead. And he had chosen his destiny. After sitting for a little while, Teaspoon headed over to the Big House to see Lou.

Teaspoon came in to the Big House and found Lou putting in a roast. He grabbed a glass of water and sat down at the table. Lou came to join him a few minutes later.

"Hey Teaspoon. What brings ya by?" Louise asked as she sat down across from him.

"Well, Lou. I came to bring you some news." Teaspoon said. Louise started to panic.

"It's Buck. Is he alright?" Louise said in a hurried breath. Teaspoon shook his head no.

"It's not about Buck darlin'. It's about Kid." Teaspoon said. Louise was visibly relieved however she was afraid of what Teaspoon had to say.

"What about him. Did he send a letter or anything?" Louise asked.

"No sweetheart. I received a crate today. Inside was a letter with his personal affects. The letter said that Kid was killed in December in battle. He was buried in Virginia but his commanding officer sent me a few things. I wanted to tell you first." Teaspoon said to Louise. Tears started running down her face.

"Oh my God. I never wanted him to die. I . . . I never would have dreamed that this would happen to him. He and I were over but I didn't hate him. I still loved him as my friend." Louise said. She felt tears fall down her cheeks. Teaspoon knew that she spoke the truth. "May I see the crate?"

Teaspoon went and got the crate from his house. Louise opened the crate and pulled out the items one by one. She didn't notice that Teaspoon had slipped out of the house to give her some privacy. She carefully touched every item and held them for a few minutes. She pulled out his journal and read a few of the entries. She read about some of the battles and horrors he had seen. She also read about how much he still loved her. He had realized just as she had that their love had changed. They still loved each other but they were not in love with each other. He wrote about wishing them the best of luck with the ranch. She realized that while Kid had been a jerk before he left, he had come to terms with his feelings and forgiven himself.

A couple of hours had passed and Teaspoon made his way back to Louise's house. He walked in and saw the crate had been repacked. Louise was checking her roast. She was also making a blackberry cobbler.

"Lou, I would like you to be with me when I tell the boys. I have told everyone to meet at the Main House after supper." Teaspoon said to Louise. She nodded and told him that she agreed with him. Shortly after Teaspoon left, Jeremiah, Teresa and Red Hawk came in for supper. Louise was quiet but didn't let on that anything was wrong. After Teresa helped Lou finish the dishes, the family walked over to the Main House. Lou had pulled Red Hawk aside and asked him to be there for Teresa's sake. He had agreed although he didn't understand.

Everyone gathered in the parlor. Jimmy and Amanda sat on the settee together. Ike stood behind the chair that Emily sat in. Louise sat in the other chair. Jeremiah and Red Hawk stood by the fireplace while Teresa sat in the floor nest to Louise's chair and in front of the fireplace. Teaspoon and Rachel came in and sat down in two of the dining room table chairs. Teaspoon sat the crate down next to his chair.

"Boys, Ladies. I know you are all wondering why I have asked you here. I received some news today that I need to share with you all." Teaspoon took a deep breath. Rachel reached out her hand and squeezed his in support.

"Well, what is it Teaspoon?" Jimmy asked. He was starting to get nervous.

" Well, I received this crate today. I opened the crate and read the letter inside. I came and spoke to Lou and have her support in telling you all this news. The letter was from a Major John Mitchell. He wrote to inform me. . . us . . . that uh. . ." Teaspoon had to pause for a moment as the reality of the situation hit him. His voice was thick with emotion and the tears had begun to spill over. Rachel continued to hold his hand and was trying her best to stifle a sob. "Kid was killed in battle in December."

The whole room was silent. Then, a sob escaped Teresa. Red Hawk went to her and knelt down to sit beside her. She ended up in his lap crying into his shoulder. Emily put her hand over her mouth as tears spilled down her face. Ike just stared ahead in shock. Amanda hung her head and began to cry softly. Jimmy sat there tried to feel something. Jeremiah hung his head. Louise was allowing the tears to fall but she felt that her grieve was already over. She had already released those demons.

"How Teaspoon? How did it happen?" Jimmy asked. He was trying to feel something. His mind couldn't decide between anger or sadness. He was angry that Kid had gone to fight in that stupid war to begin with. He was sad that he had lost one of his best friends. But he couldn't figure out which one was more important at the moment. He looked over at Lou and got his answer.

"Well, Jimmy, the particulars are still a mystery. He was killed in Virginia in the Battle of Mine Run. The Major says he was buried in Virginia." Teaspoon reached down and pulled out the crate. "These are his effects and the letter if you wish to see them."

"I want you all to know that I spent a couple of hours with that crate and it's contents this afternoon. I held his riding gloves. I hugged his hat to my chest. I read through his journal. He wrote about a lot of things; the terrible things he had seen and had to do. But he also wrote about how he had dealt with everything between me and him and had forgiven himself. I have forgiven him." Louise said to the group.

"Louise, I'm so sorry. He was one of my best friends outside of you and Amanda." Jimmy said to her. Amanda reached over and held his hand. Ike went over and hugged Louise. Amanda and Emily also got up to hug Louise. Jeremiah excused himself and left. Louise looked at him and Teaspoon told her to let him go. Jimmy got up and followed him.

"Excuse me, Ms. Louise. I believe Teresa has fallen asleep. May I take her home to her room or can she stay here?" Red Hawk asked. His English was very good now. Louise smiled at him. Rachel stood up and told him to follow her. Red Hawk stood with Ike's help and followed Rachel to the room that Teresa used when she stayed with her grandparents. He laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers up over her. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her cheek. He whisper goodnight in Kiowa into her ear.

Red Hawk and Rachel rejoined the group. Ike and Emily had excused themselves and left to go home. Amanda and Louise both said good night. Red Hawk agreed to escort them home. They group dropped off Amanda first and then Red Hawk saw Louise home. He headed for the bunkhouse and found Jeremiah had not come in yet. He decided to check on the horses for the night. He found Jeremiah brushing down Katie.

"Jeremiah, I am sorry to hear about your brother. I know I did not know him or anything that has happened here, but I still am sorry to hear of your loss of a loved one." Red Hawk said to him.

"Thank you Red Hawk. You know, a lot happened between him and my sister. But he was always good to us. He may not have spent as much time with us there at the end, but he taught me so much. He, Buck, Jimmy, Ike, Teaspoon. They all taught me to be the man I am. To be the person I am. The values, the education. I owe these men everything. And now he's gone. I will never have the chance to tell him." Jeremiah told Red Hawk. Jeremiah turned to face Red Hawk.

"My people believe that death releases your spirit. He surely heard your words just now and knows how you feel. Continuing to be a good man is how you can honor him and all of them. You are a good man Jeremiah and I am proud to call my friend." Red Hawk told Jeremiah. Jeremiah was touched deeply. He realized that Red Hawk had been exactly like him when he first came to the ranch. Knowing a little but needing a lot. Now, Jeremiah had paid it forward and taught Red Hawk the same lessons that he had been taught.

"Thank you Red Hawk. You are a true friend. I am proud to call you my brother. You and my sister will be married one day and will have a great life together. Thank you." Jeremiah said to Red Hawk. Jeremiah reached out and hugged Red Hawk. The men walked back to the bunkhouse in time to Jimmy coming back from the saloon. They waved and went on in to bed. Jimmy went in to see his wife.

Jimmy found Amanda laying in their bed. She sat up when he came into the room. He walked over to her and dropped to his knees. He put his head into her lap and began to sob. Amanda just pulled his hair out of his face and continued to rub his face until he was all cried out. She then stood up and helped him out of his clothes and boots and put him to bed. She climbed into bed with him and held him.

The next day dawned with cloudy skies. Jimmy met the others in the barn that morning. He asked Ike to get Emily and meet them at the Main House. He asked Jeremiah to get Louise and for Red Hawk to come as well. Soon the family had all piled back into the Main House as they had been last night.

"Now, Jimmy, I understand you asked for this meeting. What's on your mind son." Teaspoon asked.

"Well, I know we are all still coming to terms with Kid's death. It makes it worse that we can't even pay our last respects. I understand why he was buried in Virginia. But. . ." Jimmy paused and took a deep breath. "I think we should honor him here. A place where we can pay our respects. A place we can bury our friend and find closure."

"I think that's a great idea Jimmy." Teaspoon said. "We could have a service and erect a cross. Just because we don't have anything to bury doesn't mean anything."

"Bury the crate." Louise spoke softly. Everyone looked at her to make sure she had said something.

"Louise, sweetheart, did you say something?" Teaspoon asked.

"Bury the crate." Louise spoke a little louder this time. "The things in that crate belonged to Kid. You can still smell him on them. He had no children to pass on things like this too. I would like to keep the letter or for you to keep it Teaspoon. But the rest of the stuff I believe we should bury and be able to have that closure that you speak of Jimmy."

"I think that's a great idea Lou." Jimmy said. The group decided to have the service the following day. They also decided to map out a small cemetery on the north side of the property. That way they would all still remain together. Ike, Jimmy, and Teaspoon went out and mapped out the family cemetery. The planned a fence and the plots.

The following day was clear but cold. Jimmy had dug the hole himself. Teaspoon had arranged for the preacher to come out and speak. Many of the townsfolk came to pay their respects as well. They lowered the crate into the hole and the preacher spoke of the afterlife. Comforting words were offered. Teresa cried silently while Red Hawk held her hand. Rachel sobbed into Teaspoon. Ike and Jimmy both allowed their grief to show. Louise stood there with tears flowing down her face. She was numb. She had accepted the fact that he was gone. She loved him as her friend.

The couple of months that followed found the ranch getting back to normal. The heavy hearts were healing. The middle of April found news of a gang of bank robbers traveling towards Rock Creek. Teaspoon deputized Ike and Jeremiah to help out. He gave Red Hawk specific instructions on how to help by taking watch at the ranch. The boys were ready and managed to foil the robbery. The gang of five were all killed but one. He was arrested and hauled to the jail. Teaspoon wrote to the governor and received word to transfer the suspect to the town of the first robbery.

A couple of days later, Jimmy, Red Hawk, and another deputy, Josh Miller, were ready to escort the prisoner. Red Hawk would ride with them until time for him to turn towards the village. He had promised Teresa he would be back soon. Teresa was very sad however knew he spoke truth and kept his promises. The prisoner was secured in a barred wagon for transport that Josh would be driving. Jimmy said goodbye to his wife and told her he would see her in a little over a week. Life went on . . . and they set out for their destination.

On the next to last day in April, Buck walked into the saloon with his fellow ranch hands from the Burch Corral. He, Travis, and two other men settled into a poker game. Buck ordered from his favorite barmaid. She brought him his sarsaparilla and went off to finish her job. They boys were on their second game when someone walked through the door that got his attention. Buck folded his game and excused himself. He walked up to bar and couldn't believe it.

"Jimmy." Buck said to the back of the man in front of him. How had Jimmy found him? What was he doing here? The man turned around slowly. He broke into a wide smile as he pulled Buck into a hug.

"Buck! I can't believe it's you!" Jimmy said to his friend. The two men took a seat at a table not far away. The barmaid brought Buck another sarsaparilla. She brought Jimmy a whiskey. "What are you doing here Buck? What happened? Why did you leave?"

"What are you doing here? I left to save her. To save us." Buck replied.

"Me and another deputy transported a prisoner for Teaspoon. What the hell are you talking about Buck?" Jimmy asked as he sipped his drink.

"Jimmy, you know how I feel about Lou. Hell, everybody does. We want each other. We want to be together. But . . ." Buck was trying to explain.

"Then be together." Jimmy replied.

"It's not that easy Jimmy. Lou's is still a married woman. A married white woman. If she and I became involved, her reputation and that of the ranch would be ruined. I would be accused of adultery and hung. I can't do that to her. She just didn't understand that. She and I . . . we've gotten real close . . . to . . . crossing the line. Until she is divorced, I think its best I just stay away." Buck explained to Jimmy. Jimmy smiled at his friend. He was totally unaware of everything.

"Actually Buck, it is that easy. Since you have been gone, a lot has happened at home." Jimmy said. The barmaid brought them both another drink. She winked at Buck who didn't notice. Buck suddenly became concerned. What had happened? Was everyone alright? Lou. Was Louise alright?

"Jimmy. What do you mean? What's happened?" Buck asked with a slightly panicked tone.

"Buck, when you left, Lou was devastated. She ran to each of our houses with your letter in her hand looking for you. When she got to Ike and Emily's, she collapsed knowing that you were really gone. She didn't get out of the bed for two weeks. She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. She's better now but you can still the sadness she carries." Jimmy explained. Buck took in the news. He had never meant to cause Lou that kind of pain. "Teresa moped around for a while. Red Hawk cheered her up though. He came and stayed with us for a little while. There's some stuff about Ike but I think he should tell you."

Buck listened to the news. He hadn't really paid attention much after the news about Lou. And what had he said about Ike? Something was wrong with Ike. The men sipped their drinks. Buck need to know more.

"Why here Buck? What have you been doing here?" Jimmy asked.

"Well, I figured it was far enough away that you boys wouldn't come looking for me. I got hired on at a local ranch. The people here are nice and the ranch has a great reputation. They think I only worked at the Bar PXF. They know our reputation. It's kinda funny. When they don't realize you actually own a ranch as big." Buck answered. "Anything else happened at home?"

"Actually yes. The war is over. But, we received word in February that Kid had been killed in battle. So, there's nothing keeping you away anymore." Jimmy said to his friend. Buck felt the color drain from his face.

"Kid's dead." Buck asked. Jimmy nodded his head. "I can't believe it. I . . . never wished ill of him. He was a good man even if we didn't agree on things."

"You're right. A crate arrived addressed to Teaspoon that held his duty saber, his gloves, his hat, and a journal. A letter from his commanding officer told us he died in December. He was buried in Virginia. When Teaspoon told all of us, Louise said she read the journal and that he had come to terms with how he acted and had forgiven himself. We buried the crate to let him have a grave at home."

"Is Louise okay? I just need to know that she's alright." Buck asked Jimmy. Jimmy smiled. Buck still had it real bad.

"Lou is Lou. She hopes everyday that you will come home. She has quit saying it but we all know that's how she feels." Jimmy stated. "Buck, I'm going to stay for a couple of games of poker. I'm leaving first thing in the morning after breakfast. Now, I expect you to meet me for breakfast and then we'll be on our way home."

Jimmy stood up and shook Buck's hand. He moved over to another table and settled in to a chair with his back to the wall. He was dealt in the next hand. He stayed and played a few games and then went to the hotel. Buck walked over and asked Travis to have a word. The two men went outside. Buck explained to Travis that he was actually part owner of the Bar PXF and needed to return home. Travis told Buck the he would be greatly missed and was proud to have worked alongside him. The men both agreed to keep in touch and to help each other in any way possible. They walked back into the saloon and Buck looked around. He saw the barmaid and walked over to her. He whispered in her ear and then took her by the hand. They made their way upstairs to her room. Buck explained that he was leaving the next morning and would probably never return. He thanked her for everything she had done for him. The talks, the tears, the laughter, the . . .

Buck pulled her to him as she started to cry. He kissed her gently. They soon were on the bed, completely naked, and rolling around as if they would never see each other again. They loved gently and screwed hard for hours. When Buck realized she had fallen asleep, he got up and got dressed. He went back downstairs and paid the bar keep enough money for the barmaid to be kept for six months. Buck walked out of the saloon and went back to the ranch. He packed his things and headed back to town. He took a room at the hotel and settled in for the night.

The next morning dawned clear and beautiful. Buck met Jimmy in the restaurant for breakfast. They pair seemed to have picked up right where they left off. Once they paid their bill, they saddled up and headed towards Rock Creek. The barmaid looked out her window in time to see him ride off. Tears spilled from her eyes. She returned to bed until the start of her shift. When she started work that evening the bar keep let her know that Buck had paid for her for six months. She smiled at his thoughtfulness. He really was an amazing man. She hoped that whoever Louise was would be good to him.

35


	12. Unbreak My Heart

**A/N: The usual copyright junk. WARNING: Mature themes, subject matter and such. **

"Un-break my heart, Say you'll love me again  
Undo this hurt you caused, When you walked out the door  
And walked out of my life

Un-cry these tears, I cried so many nights  
Un-break my heart" ~ Toni Braxton

Chapter 11

Unbreak My Heart

Rock Creek, Nebraska

May 1864

Buck and Jimmy took about 4 days to get home. Along the way, Jimmy filled him on the details of Red Hawk's visit, the ranch and all it's going on's, and how Lou had handled his leaving. Buck was conflicted on going back.

"What's the matter Buck?" Jimmy asked on their second night on the trail. Jimmy could see his conflicting emotions. He just wasn't sure what he was conflicted about.

"I . . . I don't know Jimmy. On one hand I am so happy to be going back. Back to my family and the people I love. Including Lou. But, on the other hand . . . I am scared to death that she won't want me anymore. What if I'm too late?" Buck said to Jimmy. Buck wasn't sure what was going to happen when he stepped foot back on the ranch. He hadn't even thought about how people would react to him coming back.

"Buck, Lou is going to be excited to have you back. She has been dreaming of this day since you left. As far as everyone else, they will probably react the same way I did." Jimmy said with a smile. "We've all missed you."

"Thanks Jimmy." Buck reached over and shook Jimmy's hand. The two bed down and resumed the trail the next day. Buck thought about seeing Lou after all these months. He was still very much in love with her.

The pair found themselves riding into the ranch after dark. They took their horses to the barn. Buck offered to take care of the horses. Jimmy thanked him and shook his hand. Jimmy headed off to his home to find his wife and show her how much he missed her.

Buck took care of Sundancer and then Warrior. He led Warrior back to his old stall. He then went over to sit on a bale of hay after putting the tack up. He heard the barn door open and he looked up. He had no idea what he would find when he looked up.

There she was. She took his breath away. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. She had a sad expression on her face and he knew he was the cause. He watched her look over at Sundancer and smile slightly. She went over and scratched him behind the ears welcoming him home. She then went over to the ladder and started to climb into the hayloft. She was halfway up the ladder when she heard a horse off to her left. There wasn't supposed to be a horse over that far. She looked over to investigate and thought she was dreaming.

"Warrior. Is that you?" Louise said as she stared at the horse. Buck came out from the shadows. Louise was still unaware that he was there. As he came to the bottom of the ladder, Louise's foot slipped off the step she was on. She went falling backwards with a scream. She closed her eyes expecting to hit the hard floor of the barn. But the blow never came.

"If I had known coming home would cause you to fall head over heels into my arms, I would have come home sooner." Buck said to her as he held her cradled in his arms. He had caught her from the fall. Louise opened her eyes and stared into the dark brown eyes that she had been dreaming of. He was here. It was really him. This wasn't a dream.

"Buck." Louise said in a whisper.

"Louise." Buck answered in the same whisper. He leaned his head down and kissed her tenderly. When he pulled back, Louise put her hands around his neck and pulled his lips to her again. She kissed him like he was going to vanish right out from under her. They were kissing passionately when they heard the barn door open and Jeremiah holler.

"What the hell?! Damn." Jeremiah hollered as he holstered his gun. Buck sat Louise down on her feet but didn't pull his arm from around her waist. "BUCK!"

"Jeremiah! Watch your mouth! What was all that about?" Louise scolded Jeremiah. She wasn't sure if she was mad at the interruption or the use of the language. Jeremiah hurriedly came over and embraced Buck.

"I heard a scream. I was headed to the bunkhouse when I heard a scream so I ran in here to see what was going on." Jeremiah explained. "It's so great to have you back Buck. I've missed you."

"It's good to be back. I have missed you all. Louise fell off the ladder. That was the scream." Buck explained. Buck wrapped his arm back around Louise as soon as he finished embracing Jeremiah.

"Couldn't you guys have waited until you got back to the house?" Jeremiah said as he laughed. He turned and ran from the barn as Louise was yelling at him to mind his own business. Buck roared with laughter. Louise rounded on him and looked at him.

"Well, can we wait until we get back to the house Buck Cross?" Louise asked with a grin. Buck smiled a genuine full smile at the love in her eyes. Her love. Her love for him.

"I think we can manage" Buck said as he grabbed her hand and walked her towards the house. Buck and Louise walked up the front porch steps. Louise opened the door and pulled him into the house. She went into the kitchen and fixed them a cup of coffee and they sat together on the couch.

"Buck, where have you been? Why? Why did you leave? Why did you leave me? I'm sorry for what happened that night." Louise spoke softly. Buck reached over and put his arm around her. He gently pulled her to him and nuzzled his nose and lips into her hair. He gently kissed her next to her ear.

"Louise, I left because I love you. I left because I couldn't stand to hurt you by leading you on. Letting you think that there could be more between us than there was at the time. I know you don't care what anyone says but I couldn't hurt any of our family by being selfish and taking you for my own. I knew either way I was going to hurt everyone. I just chose the lesser of the two evils." Buck explained. He hoped that Louise would understand. If not, he was in for one hell of a fight. Louise moved and laid her head down on his shoulder. Buck moved to kiss her again. He kissed her against the top of her head.

"I understand Buck. I understood that night but all I wanted in that moment was you. You have been so loving and patient. You're my best friend. When Kid left, it hurt. It hurt because one of our family had left. I missed his friendship but not his love. When you left. It was like . . . like someone had ripped out my heart. Like . . . I was being tortured from the inside out. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't talk. I couldn't eat. I couldn't feel. It was like I was a walking shell. I missed you. More than anyone can understand. I love you." Louise said. Tears had started to fall down her cheeks. She was relieved that he was home. She was happy that he was here with her.

"Louise, if you'll have me, I promise to never leave you again. I love you Louise McCloud. I love you more than you will ever be able to understand. While I was gone, I had to make myself not think about you. It just hurt too badly to think of you. I sent you the Christmas gift because I wanted you to know that I would always care for you." Buck said to her. Lou looked into his eyes. She leaned in and kissed him softly. Buck brushed a tear off her cheek when they parted. He then put his hand behind her head and pulled her gently to him. He leaned in and kissed her with all the passion and love he had for her. He ran his tongue across her lips and she happily opened her mouth. They explored each other's kiss as if it were the first.

Louise stood up never breaking their kiss. She pulled Buck to his feet. They kissed again and almost let passion take over . . . almost. They gazed into each other's eyes. They were lost in the depths of each other's souls. They could see their futures staring back at them and that was the most amazing feeling ever.

"I'm going up to bed. You comin'?" Louise asked. Just like she had every night before he left. She gave him a sassy grin and winked. Buck smiled and nodded. Louise made her way upstairs. Buck locked up the house and blew out the lights. He then turned to the stairs. He smiled knowing that this was his home now. This was his forever. They loved each other and now, nothing could keep them apart.

Buck climbed up the stairs and went towards Louise's bedroom. He entered the room and closed the door behind him. He turned around and the sight took his breath away. There was Louise. In a knee length sleeveless white nightgown. She was standing in the middle of the room. The breeze from the slightly open windows blowing the curtains. The moonlight showering her in a soft glow. Buck swallowed and slowly made his way to her. He stood in front of her and reached for her hands. He brought them up and gently kissed the back of her hand. He then kissed each knuckle. He then reached over and pulled the pins holding her hair back and let her waist length light brown hair tumble around her shoulders.

Louise started to unbutton his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. Buck stood there and let her pull his long john top off and throw it to the floor. Louise ran her hands down his chiseled chest and abdomen. She drew invisible patterns across his chest. She traced her drawing down to his pants. She pulled and unbuckled his belt. She then unbuttoned his pants and reached inside to seek out her prize. Buck threw his head back as she stroked him. He was already hard and now Louise was stroking him into bliss. He had imagined and even dreamed of this moment. Never would he have thought that he would ever be able to be in this moment. Louise pushed his pants down and Buck stepped out of them. He put his hands around her waist and pulled her to him. He leaned in and kissed her passionately. He gave everything in that kiss. His love. His passion. His lust. His want. His need. Him.

Buck took his index finger on his left hand and pushed a stray wisp of hair behind her ear. He then drew his fingertip down her jaw line and tilted her chin up to gently kiss her again. Louise put her arms around his strong neck, enfolding her fingers in his brown black hair. Buck's hair was just slightly longer than his shoulders, and he usually kept it pulled back in a pony tail when he was riding or working. Louise pulled the piece of leather holding his hair back and let the hair fall free. She wound her hands tighter as if he would disappear if she didn't hold on to him.

His fingertips then ghosted down her neck as he kissed her along her jaw. He reached down and grabbed the waist of her night shift with his right hand. The fingers of his left hand ghosting across her chest and the tops of her breasts. He continued to kiss her jaw and down her neck. Louise moaned with pent up passion and desire. Buck smiled into the kiss of the skin on her neck. His left hand made it down and grabbed the other side of her night shift. He took the tip of his tongue and licked his way across her chest, up her neck to her lips. He pulled the night shift up and over her head and threw it across the room. He reached down and grabbed her ass and lifted her as she put her legs around his waist.

He turned around and walked toward the bed. He realized then that the mattress was higher as he sat her down. He leaned her back, slowly running his finger down her neck and across her chest. He rubbed her left breast while he sucked and nipped at the right. Louise moaned in pleasure holding his head against her breast. Buck smiled and then made his way over to the left breast. While enjoying her breast, he slipped his hand down and across her stomach. He leaned back up and deeply kissed her. While he kissed her he reached down and ran his fingertips along the seam of her lower lips. Louise gasp at the sensation. Louise had not been touched like this in a long time and never by Buck. Buck slid his finger inside and stroked her. Louise hissed and moaned at the sensations as Buck again sucked and nipped at her breasts. Just as Louise was about to climax Buck stopped stroking her. Louise cried out in frustration.

"Patience. We've got all night to pleasure each other. And the rest of lives to enjoy passion. I love you." Buck whispered in her ear. Buck looked into her eyes as they smiled at each other. The love they had for each other was obvious. Now, they had no reason to hide anything. Buck kissed his way down her body. He took her legs and spread them wide. He kissed her inner thighs. He hooked his arms up around her legs at the hip. He took his right hand and held her lips open as he ran his tongue along her folds. The fingers of his left hand skillfully slid into her warm wet center. He continued to lick, suck and thrust his fingers inside her. He would flick his tongue fast and then slowly up and down. Louise began to moan and arch her back. She had her eyes closed in pleasure and began fisting the sheets under her. The familiar yet almost forgotten sensation of burning pleasure began building. Louise faintly heard Buck saying to 'let go' and 'just feel'. As she was almost at the summit, she heard him say 'let me love you'. With that she let everything go and jumped off the side of the cliff. Her orgasm hitting her with such force she almost blacked out.

Louise hadn't been with a man since before Kid left. She had almost forgotten what physical love was. The act of pleasure and pleasuring. Feeling every emotion possible at the same time. Looking into the eyes of the one you love while they are making love to you. The beauty of being one with another person. Fulfilling needs, wants, desires. Louise had loved Kid, but she had never felt what she was feeling now. Louise loved Buck with her soul; with every fiber of her being.

Buck smiled. He couldn't believe he had just given Louise an orgasm. He never thought he would ever be here with her like this. Buck kissed his way back up her body being careful to kiss her every square inch. He wanted to fully claim her as his own. Tasting her in ways that only your soul mate would know.

Buck kissed her lips and Louise responded by moaning and slipping her tongue in his mouth. They kissed passionately. Buck moved slightly. He took his hand and lined his swollen maleness up with her wet feminine. Buck continued to kiss her, pouring his heart into every moment. He shifted up and they became one. He entered her with a soft confidence that Louise was now his. He continued to move inside her; slowly, deliciously, deliberately. Buck would pull almost all the way out and then push forward again. He shifted his position a few times to bring her back to that summit again. When he knew she was close, he reached down and began to stroke her; sending her over once more. Louise had been calling out 'Oh God' and a series of 'YES's'. Louise hit her climax and cried out his name; over and again.

Buck then shifted up and sat on knees. He pulled Louise with him and lowered her back down on his still rock hard member. Louise hissed pleasure. Buck put his hands on her hips and began to rock her back and forth. Louise began to ride him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Buck began to moan and tell Louise things like 'that's it baby' and 'oh yeah' as he encouraged her to speed up. Louise even began to shift her position to increase the speed of her motions. She could feel him getting close with the bucking of his hips. She was right there with him as they both called out each other's names. They stayed right there, wrapped in each other for several minutes before Buck lowered Louise back down to the bed. He reached for the sheet and threw it over them. Buck laid on his back as Louise put her head on his chest. This was right.

"I love you Buck. I have always loved you." Louise said to him. Now that there was nothing and no one to stop them, Louise was determined to never lose him again. "So, tell me. Where have you been all this time?"

"I love you Lou. I have always loved you. I was in a town in Wyoming. Cheyenne. I figured that was far enough away that none of you would come looking but close enough that I could come home. I was always going to come home, I just wasn't sure when." Buck explained.

"Cheyenne. What did you do there?" Louise asked.

"I found work on a ranch. The Burch Corral Ranch. They thought I had just worked for the Bar PXF. They know our reputation. It was pretty funny sometimes; Them thinking I only worked here. They are good people." Buck explained. He ran his fingertips up and down her back. The smoothness of her skin was thrilling.

"All you did was work the ranch. You didn't meet the rancher's daughter and fall in love with her?" Louise was teasing but slightly serious. Buck smiled.

"Well, I did meet the rancher's daughter. Her name was Valerie. She was beautiful, however, very happily married and expecting. She was very nice." Buck told Louise. Louise listened intently.

"So you didn't have another woman." Louise asked.

"Well, that's not exactly true." Buck said. He didn't really know how to tell her about the barmaid and their relationship. It's not like he was cheating or having an affair, but he knew she would take it badly.

"What do you mean Buck?" Louise spoke just barely above a whisper. She knew that he was an attractive man. Any woman could see that. They were not committed when he left but the thought of him being with someone else stung.

"Well, Lou . . . We would all go to the saloon in town on Saturday nights. I usually went to play cards or just watch. One Saturday evening though I saw a barmaid that looked just like you. She had long brown hair and big brown eyes. She was petite like you. All I could see in her was you. I thought if I couldn't have you, then this would be the next best thing." Buck explained.

"A whore. You were with a whore because she reminded you of me. You think I'm a whore!" Louise's voice was lifting with every syllable. Louise went to sit up but Buck grabbed her arm.

"No. She wasn't a whore. Her contract was for serving drinks only. I was the only man she ever took upstairs. I made sure of it." Buck explained. "You are not a whore Lou. And neither was she."

Louise calmed down. She knew Buck well enough to know that he would rather not say anything than to lie. If he said she wasn't a whore than she wasn't. But what did Buck mean he 'made sure of it'?

"I paid the bar keep to make sure she only served the drinks and me. I wanted to protect her. Just like I want to protect you. I know it's crazy and it sounds insane but that's the truth. I saw her every Saturday night starting in December until now. Sometimes we just had dinner and talked. Sometimes we had sex. The last time I was with her was the night Jimmy found me. We left the next morning. I told her I would never be back. I paid to have her taken care of for the next six months. Maybe she can get out before then." Buck told Lou. Buck laid back down and put his hands behind his head. Louise sat there for a moment. She took in all that had been said.

Louise moved and straddled Buck. He lifted his eyes and met hers. He wasn't sure what he was going to see there in her eyes. Hate? Love? Anger? Sadness? Louise looked down into his with all the passion she had for him. She understood what kind of man Buck was. The kind of man who was sincere and kind. She trusted him and knew that he would only tell her the truth. He could have kept all of this from her, but he didn't. He was honest with her and kept no secrets.

"Did you love her?" Louise asked almost afraid of the answer. She leaned down and started to kiss him along his jaw line. She made her way down the column of his neck and across his collarbone. Buck closed his eyes and moaned.

"No. I cared about her. But I did not love her." Buck spoke softly. Not wanting Louise to stop her search of the next patch of skin to rest her lips upon. Her lingering lips upon his chest were driving him slowly insane. Louise would lightly lick his nipple and then breathe a small amount of air across it. Buck gave a sharp intake of breath as she lightly grazed her teeth across the nipple. "Hell, I don't even know her name."

Buck was nearly breathless by this time. Louise moved down his stomach and licked the line of hair that led to his painfully hard erection. Once she got to the treasure she was hunting, Louise plunged her mouth down on him. She bobbed her head up and down, sucking and licking him while rolling his balls in her hand. Buck moaned and repeatedly called her name. When Lou was finished she sat up and swiftly climbed up his body. Before Buck could even realize what was happening, Louise slammed herself down onto Buck. Louise called out at the fullness she felt. She began rocking her hips, riding him like a horse. She leaned down and let Buck suck on her breast while she shifted positions and began grinding into him. All of sudden, Louise moaned an 'OH YEAH BUCK' while she climaxed. Buck was right there and climaxed with her with a 'YES BABY'. As Buck softened, he slid out of her and Louise slid over to his side. Their breathing almost back to normal, the pair snuggled up and were asleep before they knew it.

The next morning found the lovers tangled in each other. Louise awoke to the sun beaming in her eyes. She realized that someone was snoring softly and she was slightly laying on top of them. When she popped her eyes open she smiled at the sight of Buck: asleep in her bed. She slowly turned over and got up. She went to the window and drew the curtain more. As she climbed back into the bed, Buck reached out for her. He pulled her to him and kissed her long and deep. He wanted to wake up like this every morning.

"Now that's a good morning." Buck said as Louise laid back down and propped up on her elbow. Both of them were still completely nude and very comfortable with that fact. Buck laid on his back and put his right hand behind his head and the left on Lou's hip. Lou smiled at him as he closed his eyes and smiled. The sheet was barely covering Buck who had his right leg bent at the knee, the left leg straight out. Louise was laying on top of the sheet.

"You want some breakfast?" Louise asked. Buck thought for a minute. Then, he smiled.

"Breakfast sounds amazing." Buck said as he rolled over and pulled her close to him. He kissed her lustfully and rolled her on her stomach. Buck reached between her legs and grazed her seam with his fingers tips. Louise gasp at the sensation. He then reached up and pulled her up on all fours. He leaned down began licking her folds while thrusting his fingers inside her at a face pace. Louise gasp and growled at the pleasure. When she was almost at her climax Buck sat up and thrust himself inside her. Louise exploded in a fantastic orgasm. Buck filled her with every rapid thrust. Louise called out several 'OH GOD BUCK!' and 'YES! LIKE THAT! HARDER!'. Just as she was about to climax again, Buck took his still wet finger and slid it inside her back hole. Louise crashed over the edge having never had that done before. As Lou clenched around him, Buck thrust once more and exploded inside her. When he softened and slid out, Buck laid on her left side rubbing her back. Louise was still in a daze.

"Can we have that kind of breakfast every morning?" Louise finally panted out. Buck chuckled and kissed her shoulder. They stayed like that for while, just basking in the glory of each other. A little while later Louise got up and slipped on her robe.

"Where are you off too?" Buck asked with a smile. He sat up and rested his arms on his bent knees. He looked at her as she moved gracefully across the room. She was beautiful. Buck silently thanked the Spirits for this woman and allowing him this happiness.

"I was going to ask Jeremiah to let everyone know to come here for dinner tonight and to fix us something to eat. Aren't you hungry?" Louise looked at Buck as she spoke. The smile on her face lit up the room. Buck grinned back.

"I thought we just had breakfast." Buck replied with a sly grin.

"Well, lunch then. Besides, I have a dinner to cook." Louise replied. She went downstairs and walked out onto the porch. Jeremiah happened to see Louise emerge from the house. He jogged over and smiled at his sister. Because of Lydia he could understand how she felt right now.

"Hey sis. Didn't think we'd see you today!" Jeremiah teased. Jeremiah laughed as Lou's mouth dropped open in shock. Jeremiah laughed harder at the look on her face. "You do know that I know what love is and all that it entails."

"You'd better not know _ALL_ that it entails if you mean Jimmy Hickok's sister. He'll kill you where you stand." Louise said to her brother. She knew he was a man now but that didn't mean she had to acknowledge it . . . not yet anyway.

"Knowing and doing are two different things. Lydia and I are content just the way things are. We can wait." Jeremiah said with a smile. "I'll see you later Lou."

"Jeremiah, will you please tell everyone that we will be having a big supper here at the Big House tonight." Louise asked her brother.

"Sure. I'll be back by in a few to let you know what everyone is bringing." Jeremiah said as he turned to jog away. Lou watched him jog over to the Main House first. She turned and went back in the house. She went into the kitchen and made some sandwich's and grabbed a couple of pears. She cut them into pieces and began to put them on plates. She was pouring two glasses of lemonade as Buck rounded the corner into the kitchen. He was dressed and helped Lou carry the food to the table. They ate their lunch and talked about the ranch. Buck told Lou he was about to head over to Ike's house to see him. Jeremiah came in and announced that everything was set for dinner that night. He let Buck know that he had just come from Ike's and they were having lunch if he wanted to hurry over. Buck thanked Jeremiah and got up. He kissed Lou and headed out towards the Manor.

Buck walked across the ranch and admired how much had changed yet stayed the same. The ranch was prosperous. The stock was solid and healthy. He knew Jimmy and Amanda were doing well. Lou had told him all about Teresa and Jeremiah. He wanted to go and visit Kid's grave. He knew Kid wasn't there but just as Jimmy had said the grave was a place to pay his last respects to his friend and brother. Maybe tomorrow right now he needed to see his brother.

Buck stepped up on the porch of the Manor. He knocked on the door and heard some noise. The door opened and Emily looked at Buck. Her mouth dropped open and she dropped the plate she holding causing it to shatter. The sound of breaking glass caused Ike to come running in from the dining room. He pulled the door open wider and stopped.

"Buck." Ike said. Buck's mouth dropped open in shock. Ike had just said his name. He spoke. Ike began to smile widely. "Buck! I'm so glad you're home!"

The two men hugged and Buck remained speechless. Emily pulled Buck into a hug as well. Emily went to get the broom as the men grabbed the larger pieces of glass. After they had picked up the glass, they all headed back into the dining room. Emily got Buck a glass of tea and offered him some stew. Buck politely told Emily that he had just had lunch with Lou. Emily smiled and sat down with them.

"When did you get back Buck?" Ike asked. Ike started eating his lunch again. "Emily said Jeremiah came by and said we were having a big dinner at the Big House tonight. I guess I know why now."

"Ike. Ike . . . you can . . . TALK! When did this happen?!" Buck exclaimed. He couldn't stop smiling at his friend who was closer than a brother could ever be. Ike smiled back and Emily giggled.

"Well, it all started when Emily and I went on our anniversary trip. While we were in St. Jo, I moaned. Emily and I both were shocked. I tried again and again to recreate it or any sound for that matter. It never happened again. Until that day." Ike paused for a moment. He took a deep breath. "The day . . .you left."

"I had just come out the door when I saw Lou running towards me. I caught her around the waist. She was crying and screaming and clutching a note to her chest. She asked if you were here. If you had had breakfast with us? Em told her no, that we hadn't seen you. Lou collapsed into my arms and passed out. I picked her up and put her on the couch. Teaspoon found the note you left. Jimmy read the note after Teaspoon and then I grabbed it. I was so . . . heartbroken that you left. I just started to say no repeatedly and then realized that I had actually said the words out loud. I took off and was gone all day. When I came home that night, I told my wife that I loved her for the first time."

Buck took in all that was said to him. He had hurt Lou. Badly. He had also hurt Ike. He had never meant to cause any pain although he knew it was going to happen.

"Ike, I'm sorry. I was going to tell everyone tonight where I went and all. I never meant to hurt any of you." Buck spoke softly.

"I know. And I know why you left. Lou and I talked after you had been gone awhile. I was afraid she was mad at me. She told me about what happened that night. We all know how you two feel about each other. We all want you two together and happy. But we understand too. I told her I thought she might be mad with me and she quickly told me what she thought of that." Ike explained and smiled. "I've missed you. Missed you more than I can say. Because of that I have to ask you. . . Are you just visiting or are you staying?"

"Buck. . ." Emily spoke softly. Buck looked over at her and saw a single tear escape and slid down her cheek. Ike looked down at his hands that were folded atop the table. "We all understand. However, Louise is my sister. And I know what it did to her when you left. I love you dearly Buck. . .but if you are here just for a visit, I am asking you to please leave now. Leave now and never return. Louise will never survive another heartache and heartbreak like you caused. God knows I love you and I want you here more than anyone because you are my husband's brother and mine as well. I just want what is best. Please. Please say that you are staying . . . or leave now."

Ike and Buck looked at each other. Emily had never lifted her gaze from the glass of tea in front of her. Ike never knew she felt that way. Buck never dreamed of ever hearing those words. They spoke to him of just how much he meant to all of them . . . and just how much his leaving had hurt everyone. Not just himself and Lou, but all of the members of their little family. Emily let another tear escape. Buck stood up and walked around the table. He stood beside Emily and reached for her hand. He grasp her hand and gently pulled her up to stand in front of him. He took her other hand and held them in his own. He took a deep breath.

"Em. Emily, please look at me. Look me in the eye." Buck asked her. Emily slowly raised her gaze and looked at Buck. She looked him in the eye. Buck could see the sincerity and pleading in them. "I have missed you all so much. I don't know what hurt more; leaving or staying away. I want you to know that you are my sister, just as Ike is my brother. I promise both you and Ike that I will never run out like that again. I am here to stay as long as Louise wants me. If she'll have me. I love Louise more than anything. I want to marry her. I thank you for your honesty Em. Please know that I am here to stay."

Emily pulled out of Buck's hold and wrapped her arms around him. She pulled him into a tight embrace and cried. Buck embraced her as well. Ike smiled at the scene before him. He knew Buck better then Buck knew himself. If he said he was staying, he was staying.

Ike got up and pulled Emily into his own embrace. He kissed her passionately and then indicated to Buck to follow him out. Buck hugged Emily one last time and followed Ike out after both men grabbed their hats and gun belts. On the porch, both men fastened their belts and headed to the barn. The rest of the day went without incident.

That night at dinner, Buck enjoyed being in the company of his family. He sat in between Louise and Teresa. The roasted chicken biscuits Louise had made were wonderful. Emily had made some potato salad and Amanda had brought some fresh corn. Rachel brought the tea and some lemonade. Teresa had made an applesauce cake for dessert and a batch of snickerdoodles knowing they were Buck's favorite. Teresa couldn't believe he was really here. When they all retreated to the living room for coffee, Teresa climbed up in Buck's lap. She really didn't care if she was fourteen years old, Buck was her brother and she had missed him.

Buck told everyone where he had gone and what he had been doing. The family welcomed him back and Teaspoon gave him the same speech the Emily had given him earlier. Buck assured them all he was there to stay. Teresa fell asleep in Buck's lap and he gently carried her up to her bed. Louise tucked her in and they walked back downstairs. They found that Amanda and Emily were finishing up the dishes while Rachel and Lydia were drying and putting them away. The men had gone out to take care of the stock for the night. Buck headed out to help them while Lou helped the ladies. Soon, all the men filed back into the house. Jeremiah said he was going to escort Lydia home. He held out his arm and she gladly hooked her arm thru resting her hand on his bicep. The pair bid everyone good night. Slowly all the men lead their ladies home bidding good night and speaking their excitement of Buck's return.

That night found Buck and Lou sitting on the porch swing. After a little while, Louise got up and reached for Buck's hand. He took her hand and stood up, letting her lead him into the house. He locked up the house and headed up the stairs behind her. He stopped at Teresa's door and peeked in on her. She was sleeping soundly so Buck silently closed the door. He went across the hall to Louise's room. The room they now shared. He stopped before opening the door and again thanked every God and Spirit he knew for being able to freely love Louise. And for that love to be returned.

Buck opened the door and the sight before him took his breath away. Louise lay across the bed. She was completely nude and had her head resting on her outstretched arm. Buck swallowed hard and closed the door behind them. He clicked the lock into place and moved over to take off his boots. Louise watched as he began to take off his clothing. Lou enjoyed the show as Buck's eyes never left hers. Soon Buck was stalking his way to the bed. He leaned down and brought one knee up onto the bed. He climbed the rest of the way up onto the bed with Louise rolling to her back under him.

"You're so beautiful." Buck whispered in her ear. "I need you."

"I'm yours." Louise whispered back. "Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever."

Buck smiled and claimed her mouth with his own in a fiery kiss that had Lou melting underneath him. Buck placed his hands on either side of her head. Louise spread her legs further as he settled between them. Swiftly he plunged inside her and began a slow steady rhythm that had Lou moaning. Buck reached down and pulled one of her legs up around his waist. Louise felt the familiar burn in her belly and soon was crashing over the edge of ecstasy. Buck began to speed up his thrusts as his own feelings of pleasure were building. Buck could hear Louise calling out his name and moaning. As he thrust one last time and exploded in fireworks, he whispered 'I love you'.

Over the next few months, things settled down into a nice routine again for the families of the Bar PXF. Louise told Buck that she had gotten new furniture after he left. Buck thought her bed was higher than he remembered. The boys went to several auctions and came home wealthier than ever; their reputation exceeding even their own wildest imaginations.

Buck had even gone to visit the grave the family had put there for Kid. Buck sat there and prayed. He left a medicine pouch hanging from the marker that had been erected. He knew he would never forget the man that Kid was.

The fall was a beautiful one. All the families were a happy as ever. One clear night in October, Jeremiah was walking Lydia back to her small house. The pair had had dinner at the restaurant. They were celebrating that Jeremiah was now a full partner in the ranch and would be getting Kid's share. As they were walking, a drunken man came flying out of the saloon. He looked at the couple and tipped his hat.

"Well, look at what we have here. A sweet little thing." The man approached Lydia. Jeremiah stepped in front of her. The man leered a smile. "And what do we have here. Boy, go on home and let a real man take of the pretty lady."

"A real man is taking care of the pretty lady. Now, if you'll excuse us." Jeremiah said as they tried to pass. The drunk stranger went to take a swing at Jeremiah and fell over when Jeremiah stepped to the side to avoid the blow. Jeremiah looked down at the drunk with his gun drawn, "Now, if you know what's good for you, you'll ride out and never return."

The drunk threw up his hands and Jeremiah holstered his gun. Jeremiah took Lydia by the arm and led her away from the man and towards her small house. They were halfway down the boardwalk when the drunk hollered 'I'll be seeing you tonight missy.' Jeremiah never acknowledged the drunk, they just kept walking. Jeremiah opened the door and walked in behind Lydia. He locked the door and made sure all the windows were secure. Lydia went to her room and changed into her night dress and put on her robe. She made her way to the kitchen and made them both a cup of hot chocolate. Jeremiah took off his hat and gun belt. They sat together and talked about what had happened.

"What am I going to do when you leave to go to the bunkhouse? I'm not sure I want to be by myself." Lydia said quietly. She felt her eyes getting moist. She didn't want to admit her fear. Jeremiah sat down his mug and took her hand. He tilted her chin up and kissed her tenderly.

"I'm not going anywhere tonight." Jeremiah leaned in and kissed her again. When they broke apart, Lydia smiled slightly. "I'm going to stay here with you. I'll sleep right here on the couch and you can leave your bedroom door open so I can hear if you need me."

"What about Jimmy? And Lou? You know they have a duck if they find out you stayed here. Even if it is only on the couch." Lydia replied. She liked the idea of Jeremiah staying here. Even though they were technically engaged, nothing was official. Jimmy and Lou both had made it clear that they would not tolerate any inappropriate behavior.

"They will get over it. Especially when they find out about the man threatening you. It will be alright sweetheart. I promise." Jeremiah said. He leaned in and kissed her again. Passionately. He wanted to marry her. He knew that now it was only a matter of time. He had a partnership in the ranch. He could ask Louise and Jimmy and the others where he could build their house and start on it. Then he could buy her a ring and propose the right way.

Jeremiah inched his body over closer to hers and pulled her into his lap. He continued to kiss her as her hands wound themselves around his neck and into his hair. Jeremiah began to trail kisses across her cheek and down her jaw line. Lydia began kissing his cheek as well. Soon they were breathing hard and heavy. Jeremiah put his hands under her knees and around her shoulders and stood up. He kissed her again as he went down the small hallway into her bedroom. He sat her down on her bed and continued to kiss her. His right hand moved down and pulled aside the strap of her nightdress. He trailed kisses down her jaw line and across her shoulder. Lightly. Delicately. He then moved to the other side and did they same. Lydia was lightly gasping as his lips were both heating up her flesh and soothing the fire that had been ignited. He gently inched his fingertips down her chest. He ghosted them across the barely exposed top of her breasts. Lydia slowly threw her head and moaned at the sensation. Jeremiah smiled and leaned in to kiss her again.

Lydia returned the kiss with all the passion she had. She ran her hands up the front of his blue cotton shirt. She reached the collar and started unbuttoning. When she reached his pants, she pulled the shirt out and finished with the buttons. She stood up and pushed his shirt off his shoulders and tossed it to the floor taking his long john top with it. She ran her hands across his chiseled chest and abdomen as she kissed his neck and across his collarbone. Jeremiah sharply took in a breath. He put his hands on her waist and pulled the nightgown over her head and tossed it aside. He tilted her chin up and kissed her tenderly while leaning in to lay her on the bed. Lydia laid down and Jeremiah climbed up on the bed on hovered over her with his hands on the bed on either side of her. He had watched her lay down and gazed upon the beauty of her body. She had ample breasts and her skin was as smooth as porcelain. Lydia gazed upon Jeremiah. His chest was rock hard and tanned from all the work on the ranch. Jeremiah leaned down to kiss her tenderly.

"Lydia, I love you." Jeremiah said as he gazed in to her eyes. Lydia smiled.

"I love you Jeremiah." Lydia replied. She reached behind his head and drew him in for another kiss.

"I . . . I've never. . . I've never been with anyone. Not like this." Jeremiah spoke softly. Lydia smiled again.

"Neither have I. I have never wanted to . . . until now. Until you, I never even thought about marriage or love." Lydia replied softly. Jeremiah leaned down and kissed her again.

"I want to marry you. I want to be with you forever. My wife, my partner, my best friend, the mother of my children. I want you Lydia Hickok. Forever." Jeremiah leaned down and began to kiss her neck. He made his way slowly down the tender flesh of her chest. He took his left hand and cupped her left breast, rolling his thumb over the nipple. Lydia moaned in pleasure. Jeremiah smiled as he took her right breast into his mouth and began to suck lightly. Lydia gasp at the sensation. He took a minute to enjoy that breast and then made his way over to the left breast. Lydia was moaning in pleasure. Soon she felt the hardness of Jeremiah's need against her lower belly. She was both terrified and excited all at the same time. She reached down and ran her hand across the front of his pants. She could feel the long hardness begging to be released. Jeremiah took in another sharp breath and moaned.

"Lydia. Lydi. I think we should stop." Jeremiah let out in a hurried breath. Lydia stilled her motions and looked into his eyes. She saw need and want. Lust and desire.

"You're right Jeremiah." Lydia sighed. They both knew it was right to stop. Neither was ready for the next step. They both sat up. Jeremiah got down off the bed to retrieve her nightgown and his shirt. Lydia brought her arms up and around her to cover herself. Jeremiah picked up the garments and turned around. Lydia had herself covered with her arms and was looking down as if embarrassed. Jeremiah walked back over to her.

"Don't." Jeremiah said firmly. He reached out his hands. His left hand pulled her arms away from her chest. His right hand tilted her chin up. He saw her eyes were closed and a tear had slid out of each eye. "Lydi, look at me."

Lydia allowed Jeremiah to pull her arms away from her chest. She opened her green eyes and looked into his hazel ones. He gently caressed her cheek. Lydia leaned into the touch and thanked the Lord above for sending her this man. He was so gentle and loving; Nothing at all like she remembered her father being. Her father was a good man but never was capable of love.

"Never be afraid of me. I would never hurt you. You should not be ashamed at all by any expression of our love for each other. I only ever want to make you happy. Please don't cover yourself; you are amazingly beautiful." Jeremiah spoke softly to her. He meant every word that he said. "I love you."

"I love you Jeremiah McCloud. You are an amazing man. I don't know what I did in my life to deserve a wonderful man like you. I thank God every day for bringing us together." Lydia replied. She brushed her lips against his. Jeremiah pulled the nightgown up and slipped it back down over her head. Lydia thought of how personal and intimate that act was. Normally men didn't want you dressed right? Here was her man, putting her nightgown back on her and turning her bed down. She slid under the sheet and quilt. Jeremiah pulled the covers up and tucked her in.

"Goodnight my darling. Sweet dreams. I will be in the living room if you need me." Jeremiah leaned down to kiss her after telling her goodnight. He turned and walked back into the living room. He put his long john shirt back on and settled on the couch. Soon they were both fast asleep while dreaming of the other.

The next morning found the ranch waking up as usual. Buck and Ike met the two new hands they had hired in the barn. Ike and Brett were leading out the stock for exercising while Buck and Stephen started mucking stalls.

"Hey. Where's Jeremiah?" Buck asked. At that moment Jimmy walked around the corner. Everyone knew that Jeremiah and Lydia had had a date the night before. Jimmy stopped dead in his tracks. Stephen and Brett looked at each other nervously.

"He asked you boys a question." Jimmy said firmly. Buck propped the shovel up against the stall as Ike gave Brett the other set of reigns.

"Uh, Mr. Cross, Mr. McSwain, Mr. Hickok . . . uhm . . . Jeremiah never came back to the bunkhouse last night." Brett said as he slid behind one of the horses. Jimmy calmly turned around and walked out of the barn. Buck and Ike followed behind him. They headed for the small house that was the home for the school teacher.

Jimmy pounded on the door of the small house. Jeremiah fell off the couch with a thud from being startled. Lydia shot up out of the bed and grabbed her robe.

"Open the door Jeremiah! I already know you're in there. Lydia!" Jimmy yelled as he pounded on the door again. Jeremiah unlocked and pulled the door open. Jimmy pushed his way inside and grabbed Jeremiah by his long john shirt. Jimmy threw him against the wall with thud and an 'oommmph'. Lydia came running out of her bedroom.

"JIMMY! JIMMY STOP!" Lydia screamed at him. She grabbed Jimmy's arm and held on for dear life before he could punch Jeremiah. Jimmy stilled his motion for fear of hurting Lydia. "This is not what you think. I swear!"

"Oh yeah! Well, what the hell is it then? I told you Jeremiah to keep your hands to yourself!" Jimmy said through clenched teeth. Lydia starting sobbing from both fear and anger.

"I swear Jimmy! I SWEAR! I didn't touch her!" Jeremiah gasped out. Buck and Ike took a look around.

"Jimmy. JIMMY!" Buck said forcefully. "Put him down. We will never get the full story if he can't breathe."

Jimmy slowly lowered Jeremiah to the ground. He stepped back and never took his eyes off Jeremiah. Lydia bent down to help him up and over to the couch. She told them she was going to get everyone some water and would be right back. She glared at Jimmy through tear filled eyes.

"Alright. Now, Jeremiah. Care to explain why you spent the night here and didn't come back to the bunkhouse last night. And please . . . we want the truth but chose your words wisely." Buck said as he sat down in the chair across from Jeremiah. Jimmy remained standing as did Ike.

"Buck, I swear. Jimmy, you gotta believe me. I stayed to protect Lydia." Jeremiah said. He was so nervous he was shaking.

"Protect her from what Jeremiah?" Buck said as he put his hand up to silence Jimmy. Buck had already surveyed the surroundings. He knew that Jeremiah had slept on the couch and that nothing had happened between them. "Start from the beginning. You and Lydia went out to dinner right?"

"Yeah. We went to the restaurant in the hotel. We were celebrating my being made a partner in the ranch. We ate and had some dessert. Lydia loves their lemon cake. We left the restaurant and a drunk came tumbling out of the saloon. He approached Lydia and made a comment about her pretty looks. I stepped in front of her and he told me to let a real man handle the lady." Jeremiah paused and took a deep breath. "I told him that a real man was taking care of the lady. He swung at me and sidestepped him. I drew my gun and told him to get out of town. I put my gun away and Lydia and I started walking again. He hollered out that she would see him tonight. I walked her here and when we came inside I checked all the windows and doors. She was very scared and because of that I told her I would stay on the couch. She and I had a cup of hot chocolate and then she went to bed. I swear. I swear Jimmy. I would never lie to you. I hope you know that."

Lydia had come in and gave Jeremiah a glass of water and went and sat down in the kitchen. She had tears rolling down her face. She knew that Jeremiah was telling the truth. She knew Jimmy would never believe him.

"I want you outta here Jeremiah. I want you to stay away from Lydia. Do you hear me. Stay away from her." Jimmy coldly told Jeremiah as he inched closer to him. Lydia came running around the corner and threw her arms around Jeremiah. Jeremiah hugged her in return.

"Jimmy! You can't be serious!" Lydia screamed at him as Buck and Ike protested as well. Jimmy looked at her. He hated breaking her heart but he wouldn't let some punk kid make a fool out of her.

"Lydia. Stay outta this. This is for the best." Jimmy replied to her. Lydia wouldn't look at him.

"Lydia. . . Lydia . . . Lydi, I love you. Please, always remember that I love you." Jeremiah said as his voice began to crack from emotion. He felt the tears burning his eyes and then they spilled over. He kissed her tenderly one last time. He looked into her eyes and brushed a tear from her cheek. "Please. Please remember that I love you. But, I won't come in between you and your brother."

Jeremiah turned and grabbed his things and walked out of the house. He went back to the ranch and into the bunkhouse. He changed his clothes and headed for the barn. He saddled Herc and took off at a gallop towards the south pasture. He wanted to be alone for awhile.

At Lydia's house, Lydia collapsed on the floor as the man she loved more than anything walked out the door. After a few minutes, Lydia stood up. She slowly turned around and stared coldly at Jimmy.

"James. Butler. Hickok. How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!" Lydia spoke firmly at first but quickly started to yell. She was so angry. "I am a grown woman _Wild Bill_ and I can do as I please. He was telling the truth. All of it. But you . . . you just bust into MY house and ASSUME what happened without even asking. HOW DARE YOU! You cannot. . . I REPEAT CANNOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO! You can show yourselves out."

Lydia turned and went to her room and slammed the door. Her sobs could be heard through the entire house. Jimmy looked up at the ceiling and then down at the floor. He knew what Lydia had said was true. She had even called him 'Wild Bill', everyone knew how much he hated that name. He only used it when it gained him the upper hand. He had once again jumped to conclusions and assumed the worst.

"Jimmy, you know you really overreacted." Ike said. He spoke plain and fair.

"You know, they were telling the truth. It's obvious that he slept on the couch. If they had been together in that bed, there is no way he could've gotten dressed and come out here looking like he was that startled. You've been a lawman Jimmy. Think about the scene." Buck explained. "We're going back to the ranch."

Buck and Ike both left the house. They walked back to the ranch and started working again. Soon, Lou called Buck in for breakfast as did Emily. Teaspoon headed for the jail. He met Jimmy on his way and they walked together. Jimmy told Teaspoon the story.

"Jimmy, I have to agree with Buck and Ike on this one. Jeremiah is a good kid. He's never once given you pause to think otherwise has he?" Teaspoon said to him. They went inside the jail and relieved Josh, the other deputy.

"All was quiet Marshal except for this drunk. He's sleepin' it off." Josh told the pair.

"Would did he do to get locked up?" Teaspoon asked.

"Well, I was called to a ruckus at the saloon. Well, outside of it. Apparently, he threatened a young lady and her date as they walked by. They witnesses said it was the school teacher and her beau. He threatened to come after her last night. So, I brought him in to cool him off." Josh explained. He grabbed his hat and went out the door after Teaspoon thanked him and told him he would see him that night.

"Damn it!" Jimmy said out loud as he threw his gloves down. He sat down in the chair opposite Teaspoon and put his head in his hands. He heard Teaspoon take a seat in the other chair. "They were telling the truth. I don't know what come over me Teaspoon. The idea of Lydia . . . I am in a position now to protect my sisters. I have never been in that position before. I don't want her to grow up. Hell, at her age I was already labeled 'Wild Bill' and had had my fair share of ladies. I don't want to admit she is a lady and can get married, have children. It's so hard."

Teaspoon sat and listened to Jimmy. He understood exactly what Jimmy was saying. He smiled as he thought about how they all would react when Teresa was old enough. Jimmy raised his head and looked at the sleeping stranger in the cell. He knew that he had made a terrible mistake and would have to make it right. The drunk in the cell rolled off the cot and stood up. He walked to the bars.

"Hey! Hey Marshal. When can I go?" He asked. Jimmy stood up and approached the cell. He vaguely heard Teaspoon say 'Easy Jimmy' as he got closer.

"So, tell us what has you locked up in here?" Jimmy asked.

"I was drinking in the saloon and then I went outside. This pretty little thing walked by and I spoke to her. Some boy got in between us and I told him to go on back home to his ma and let me show her a good time. He refused so I tried to hit him but he got away. He pulled his gun on me and then he and the little whore walked off. I guess he must be keeping the little slut or something. Next thing I know I'm locked up in here." The drunk said. Jimmy reached through the bars and grabbed him by the collar. He pulled him roughly to the cell bars and drew his gun. He pointed it up under the man's chin and smiled.

"Be careful what you say and who you say it to. That so called whore is the school teacher and that boy is her beau. Now, here's the thing. That boy is a partner in the most prosperous ranch in this territory." Jimmy began to explain. The drunk dropped his mouth open. "Yep. That's right. Rock Creek's very own Bar PXF Ranch. And that, what did you call her, oh right, that whore or slut, well, she's my little sister. I don't take kindly to people talking about my family like that. And I am sure you know who I am."

The drunk now had his mouth hanging wide open. He shook his head 'no' and looked wide eyed at Jimmy. Jimmy smiled at him. The smile was cold and calculated. Hard and unnerving. The drunk tried to take a few steps back but couldn't because Jimmy still held him by the collar. Jimmy held up his trademark pearl handled colt and kissed the top of the barrel. The drunk whimpered in recognition of the gun.

"See, I'm also a partner in the Bar PXF, so he is my business partner. He's also going to marry my sister or the whore as you called her. He's the brother of a lady who is closer to me than a sister, so he's like my brother. Oh, and I'm a Deputy Marshal." Jimmy holstered his gun and went to leave the office.

"So, you're free to go if you like." Teaspoon said as he approached the cell with the keys.

"Uhm, no sir. I think I'm fine right here. Thank you though." The drunk answered laying back down on the cot. Teaspoon and Jimmy both chuckled.

"Oh, and the names Hickok. James Butler Hickok. Or as you may know me, Wild Bill Hickok." Jimmy said with a smile. He turned and walked out of the office and headed to Lydia's house. He knew he had to make this right. He walked up to her door and knocked. He waited a little while and knocked again. After a few minutes, he heard Lydia ask 'who is it'.

"Lydia, it's me Jimmy. Please, I need to talk to you." Jimmy said.

"Go away Jimmy. Haven't you said and done enough today?" Lydia answered with hatred and anger in her voice. Jimmy hung his head and knew then that this may be harder than he thought.

"Lydia. Please. Please let me come in and talk to you. I'm sorry. I'm begging you." Jimmy said. After a few minutes, Lydia unlocked the door and let him in. They walked in and sat down in the living room.

"What do you want now Jimmy? You sending back to Ms. Fletcher or to Celinda because now I'm soiled and used?" Lydia spat at him. The venom was obvious.

"I deserve that. I deserve more than that. I went to the jail and the drunk that you saw last night was there. He was locked up because of what happened with you and Jeremiah. The witnesses relayed the story. I asked him myself about it and he admitted it." Jimmy told her.

"Where is he now?" Lydia asked. She was nervous that he may come after her and now that Jeremiah was gone, what was she going to do.

"He's still in jail. He and I had a talk and once he realized and found out who I am he asked Teaspoon if he could stay for awhile longer. He didn't know he had threatened Wild Bill Hickok's sister and her beau, who as I explained to him is going to marry you one day." Jimmy said with a sly smile. He took a deep breath and softly said, "Lydia, I'm sorry. I just can't handle . . . I . . . don't like that fact that you are growing up. When I was your age I was riding for the express and had already been named 'Wild Bill'. I'd rather not talk about my love life with you. I was told Jeremiah didn't come home last night and when I found him here I just assumed the worst. I should have trusted you. I should have trusted him. He's never given me a reason not to trust him. He's like a brother to me. I will talk to him too. Please forgive me."

"I need some time Jimmy. I will forgive you, but right now I am too angry and I need time." Lydia said to him."You're my brother, and I understand what you are saying, but it hurt more that you didn't listen or trust us and most of all telling me how to live my life."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. I understand. You know where to find me." Jimmy spoke as he stood up. He left the house and headed back to the ranch. He headed for the barn and saw that Herc was missing. He headed to the Big House to talk to Buck and Lou.

Buck had explained the situation to Lou and had also told her he felt that Jeremiah and Lydia were telling the truth. Buck also knew that Jeremiah had ridden out when he got back. He would come home when he got ready. Lou was shocked at first thinking that Jeremiah had had sex with Lydia, but calmed when Buck explained the whole story and the evidence he saw. She didn't blame Jimmy but was furious that he didn't even want to hear Jeremiah or Lydia's side of things. And to make matters worse, He told them they couldn't see each other anymore like they were children. They may only be eighteen but they were old enough to marry tomorrow if they wanted. Buck also let her know that Ike agreed with them. She knew Jeremiah had ridden out in a hurry.

There was a knock at the front door. Buck and Lou looked at each other knowing that only strangers knocked. Family just came on in. Buck went to answer the door and was shocked to see Jimmy there. Lou came around the corner and saw Jimmy standing at the door.

"Jimmy. What are you doing knocking?" Lou asked. Buck stepped to the side so everyone could see each other.

"Well, Louise, after what happened this morning, I wasn't sure if I would welcome. So, I wanted to make sure." Jimmy spoke plainly. Lou nodded in understanding.

"Come on in and we'll talk about it Jimmy. Let me make some coffee." Louise said as she turned towards the kitchen. Buck and Jimmy sat down in the living room. In a few minutes Louise came around the corner with a tray. She had three cups of coffee and three orange marmalade muffins. She sat down after giving the men their coffee and muffin.

"Jimmy, Buck told me about this morning. I am proud that my brother stood up to protect the woman he loves. I am sorry if it brought problems. I don't agree that Jeremiah should stay with Lydia but last night was different." Louise spoke plainly. She now absolutely realized that Jeremiah was a good man with good values. Buck reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Louise, you are right. I overreacted and I took it out on both Lydia and Jeremiah. Buck, the drunk was locked up in the jail when Teaspoon and I got there. He admitted everything. He got a little scared when he realized who I was and that Lydia was my sister. You were right Buck. I should have looked at the evidence and that would have answered all my questions." Jimmy said. "I have already apologized to Lydia. She said to give her time. I will talk with Jeremiah when I see him again. Bottom line is . . . I can't come to terms with the fact that my baby sister isn't a baby anymore. She and Jeremiah will be married soon and have their own family."

"Jimmy, I get it. But you still have Teresa to look out for." Louise replied. The group chuckled and realized that she was right.

"Thanks Lou. Buck, I'll see you after while. I am pulling the evening shift at the jail." Jimmy said as he stood up. Buck nodded and stood to shake his hand. Louise stood up and hugged Jimmy. He walked out of the house and went into the barn to get Sundancer. He saw that Herc was still not back.

Later that night, after most of the ranch was asleep, Jeremiah rode back into the yard. He put up Herc and his tack and went up to the hayloft. He layed down and put his arms behind his head. He looked out at the stars through the small out door. Tears slowly made their way down his face as he thought of her. Lydia. His Lydia. As much as he loved her, he meant he would not come in between her and Jimmy. They had just rebuilt a relationship and he would not be the cause of its destruction. He missed her so much.

Jeremiah woke early from the chill in the air. He decided to go ahead and start working. He climbed down the ladder and started leading horses out for exercise. He grabbed the shovel and started mucking stalls. He had the first row almost complete when the barn door opened. He didn't stop to see who it was. He really didn't care. The person walked steady and stopped outside a stall near him.

"Jeremiah." Jimmy said.

"What do you want now Jimmy? Because I'm really not in the mood to talk right now." Jeremiah said as he continued to muck the stall.

"I deserve that. I deserve more than that." Jimmy said to Jeremiah.

"Well, now that we have established that. I have work to do." Jeremiah said as he put away the shovel and went to dump the wheel barrel. Jimmy stepped in front of him. Jeremiah stopped and sat the wheel barrel down. "What! What JIMMY! Are you going to fire me too?! You've already taken everything else from me, why not take my job too!"

"No, Jeremiah. I just want to talk to you. Please. Please just hear me out." Jimmy pleaded. When Jeremiah didn't move, Jimmy continued. "I don't want to admit that Lydia has grown up. She's a woman. When I was your age, I was riding for the Express, I was 'Wild Bill', l had had more than one roll in the hay. I don't want that kind of life for her. You're a good man Jeremiah. I have always trusted you. If I had trusted myself and thought with a level head, I would have seen all the evidence. You both were telling the truth. Especially since the drunk was locked up and he admitted to the whole thing." Jimmy paused and took a deep breath. "I am sorry Jeremiah. Please forgive me. I want nothing but the best for Lydia. And that's you."

Jeremiah looked down and then back up at Jimmy. He took several deep breaths. He tried desperately to keep hold of his emotions.

"I forgive you Jimmy. I love you like a brother. If I had been you I probably would have thought the same. I can't even think about Teresa being old enough even though I know she is going to marry Red Hawk." Jeremiah said to Jimmy. Jimmy chuckled. He understood. "I love Lydia Jimmy. I do. All I want is her happiness. I promise you that she and I have talked about things and we both agree that things between us are just fine the way they are. I respect her. Please, Jimmy. I need her."

"I know. I know exactly what that feels like Jeremiah." Jimmy sat down on a bale of hay. Jeremiah took a seat on the opposite bale. "I love Louise. At one point in time, Kid and I would tangle up at a moment's notice over her. She picked him. It took me a long time to realize why. She loved me and I loved her; what more was there? After a while I realized that I loved her company and her friendship. She was my sister and that's why I loved her. If we had been a couple, it would have ruined our friendship. Then, I had a relationship with a widow that was using me. When that ended, I had rekindled a friendship with Amanda. We became friends and then lovers. The most important thing is that I realized very early with Amanda that I wanted everything for her. Happiness. Love. Respect. A home. A family. I wanted her. If you feel anything for Lydia like I feel for Amanda, I know exactly how you feel. Take care of her Jeremiah."

Jimmy got up and shook Jeremiah's hand. Jeremiah stood up without letting go of Jimmy's hand. He pulled Jimmy into an embrace. Soon they were all headed in for breakfast and Jeremiah let Louise and Buck know that he was going to Lydia's this afternoon. Maybe everything was going to be okay after all. . .

40


	13. With Arms Wide Open

**A/N: The usual disclaimers and blah blah blah. This chapter is about the barmaid and what happens. I apologize if you feel the Buck was OOC with the barmaid. They were friends as well as being intimate. He wanted to protect her and keeping her is the only way to make sure she is protected. Enjoy!**

Well I just heard the news today, It seems my life is going to change  
I close my eyes, begin to pray, Then tears of joy stream down my face . . .

If I had just one wish, Only one demand, I hope he's not like me  
I hope he understands  
That he can take this life, And hold it by the hand, And he can greet the world  
With arms wide open ~ Creed

Chapter 12

With Arms Wide Open

Cheyenne, Wyoming

July 1864

"Girls, meet Mr. Johnson. He just bought this place and is now in control. So, if you are on for the early shift, go and get dressed. If not, go rest and get ready." The bartender said to the ladies. All the girls were now being measured up by the new owner.

"Girls, let's understand one thing. This is not just a saloon and bar anymore. All of you will be expected to work. If you have a problem with being a working girl, then there is the door." Mr. Johnson said while pointing to the door. A couple of the girls got up and left. "Now, that that is all cleared up. Get to work ladies."

Mr. Johnson walked up the stairs to his office. The barmaid approached the bartender. The barkeep felt bad for the girls. Most of them were good girls who just needed a roof, some food and a way to pay for it. Now, that was out of the question.

"Does this mean that the agreement Buck had with you is off?" The barmaid asked. Just then she felt a hand wrap around her waist.

"All previous contracts and arrangements are null and void. You now work for me. And me only." Mr. Johnson said. The barmaid felt all the blood drain from her face. The man turned her around to face him. "Now, you sure are a pretty little thing. Tell you what. If you don't want to be a whore, then you can be my personal girl. You will belong to me."

The barmaid stepped back and pulled away from the new owner. She quickly ran upstairs to her room. She slammed and locked the door. Her tears were falling fast and she went to lie down on her bed. She couldn't believe what was happening. Buck had left enough to make sure she wouldn't have to be a whore. She had been saving her pay and she would have been able to quit and go work in a dress shop or something without having to serve drinks. Now, that would never happen.

A knock at her door drew her out of her thoughts. She went and opened the door to find one of the other girls, Karen, looking at her scared. She opened her door and let the girl in.

"Karen, what is wrong?" The barmaid asked.

"I . . . uh. . . do you have any . . .uh. . .uh. . . extra cloth or . . ." Karen said absolutely petrified. The barmaid looked at her a moment. She was thoroughly confused. Then it dawned on her.

"Oh Karen, you have your cycle?" The barmaid asked. The girl shook her head yes and started to cry. "Don't worry. I have some extra cloth." The barmaid went over to her dresser and retrieved a couple of small pieces of cloth. She handed them to the girl. She told the girl to stay in her room and maybe the new owner wouldn't notice that she was missing from the floor. Karen thanked her and headed down the hall to her room. As the barmaid turned around she had a thought. She had not had a cycle that month. Or the month before.

The barmaid now remembered back to her last cycle. It was a couple of weeks before Buck left. They had had lovely dinner and talked since she wasn't able to have sex. She knew now that she certainly could not continue in this life. Her baby deserved better. Buck's baby deserved better. Buck had only ever been kind and generous to her. She owed him this life inside her. She wasn't sure if she would ever find Buck again, but she would not stay here.

The girl packed up her few belongings and grabbed the money that she had saved. She put some in her bag, some in her dress, and some in a small box that she hid in her purse. She snuck out the back stairs and out into the alley. She made her way in the shadows towards the Burch Corral Ranch.

She rested when she was out of the city limits. She found a nice hidden shaded area where she bed down. The next morning, she continued on foot towards the ranch. As she approached the gate, a man rode up. He looked down at her and realized that she was the girl that Buck had always been with.

"Miss? Can I help you?" Travis asked the girl. The girl looked at him and recognized him as one of Buck's friends.

"I . . .uh. . .I was hoping to talk to someone about Buck." The girl said to Travis. Travis smiled and offered her a hand up onto his horse.

"Come with me Miss. We will get a bite to eat and talk about Buck." Travis said to her. The girl mounted behind the man and they rode into the ranch. Travis dismounted and then helped the girl. They walked into the bunkhouse. The caretaker was there cleaning from breakfast.

"Mrs. Mary, this is, I'm sorry Miss. I don't know your name." Travis said as he looked at the girl. The girl gave him a strange look. She didn't give her name. If people knew your name, they could know you. They could hurt you. Buck didn't even know her name.

"Just . . .uhm. . .call me Cheyenne." The girl said to Travis and Mrs. Mary. The two looked at her. They knew there was more to this story.

"Well, Miss Cheyenne, have a seat and I will get you a plate." Mrs. Mary said to the girl. "Mr. Travis, would you like a plate also?"

"Yes ma'am. Thank you." Travis said. He then turned his attention to Cheyenne. "So Miss Cheyenne, what can we do for you?"

"Well, sir. . ." Cheyenne was interrupted by Travis.

"Travis. My name is Travis." Travis said with a smile.

"Well, Mr. Travis. I work or worked at the saloon. Buck and I used to keep company. He was my friend. We had dinner, talked, . . ." The girl said. Her voice got lower with each word. Her tears started to fall slowly. Her hand went unconsciously to her belly. Travis noticed the gesture but allowed her to collect herself to continue. "Buck paid the bar keep for me to only serve the drinks for six months when he left. He was the only man I have ever taken upstairs. I felt so special because I didn't have to do anything other than serve drinks. I could save my money and get out of there. Well, we were told yesterday that a Mr. Johnson had bought the saloon and that all of us were now expected to be working girls. That included me unless I wanted to be his own personal girl. Then I would belong to him.

"I can't stay there anymore. I don't want that life. I realized that . . . that I am carrying his baby. Buck is a good man. His baby doesn't deserve that. So, I left. I came here to ask if anyone here may know where he went. I would like to find him one day and at least let him know about his baby. I mean him no harm or ill will. He doesn't have to leave Louise and be with me. I just think he deserves to know." Cheyenne was still crying. Travis took in all she had to say. He sat up and took her hand in his.

"Well, Miss Cheyenne, I do know where Buck is. But more importantly I am thankful that you have that much respect for him. You are right, Buck is a good man. I have a business deal for you. I will tell you where Buck is and you work here for us. My sister Valerie had her baby and is in need of some help with my niece. My sister had a difficult delivery and just needs help with making sure her household is in order. From cooking and cleaning to keeping the baby. You would be paid and have room and board of course. You can leave whenever you like as long as you let us know first so that we know you are okay. Is that a deal?" Travis asked Cheyenne.

"You. . . you would give me a job?" The girl asked. She couldn't believe that there were nice people in the world. Travis nodded his head and held out his hand to seal the deal. "Yes. I would love to work here."

The girl shook his hand and the two smiled at each other. After they ate, The girl helped Mrs. Mary clean up the dishes. Travis then walked her over to his sister's house. His sister, Valerie, was happily married and her husband, Layton, was in business with her father and brother on the ranch. They had just had their first child, a little girl named Clara Rose. Valerie had a prolonged labor which left her extremely fatigued. Travis knocked on their door and Layton answered.

"Good morning Travis. Miss. Please come in." Layton stepped aside and allowed the two visitors to come in. Travis and the girl stepped inside and found Valerie in the sitting room holding baby Clara. Valerie looked up and smiled at her brother. Travis went over and kissed his sister on the cheek and then kissed his niece on her forehead.

"How are my favorite girls today?" Travis asked.

"Very tired but well. What brings you here Travis?" Valerie asked.

"I am here with a business deal for you and Layton. Miss Cheyenne here is a friend of Buck Cross's. She is carrying his child. She needs a job and a place to live. I have offered her to be your house lady and nanny. The deal is she will assist you with any household duties you need her to help with including Clara. She will live here and can leave as she wishes with the understanding she must tell us first. What do you think?" Travis explained.

"I think it's an excellent idea. Any friend of Buck's is a friend of ours. Valerie will need help with the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and the baby's needs. She likes to do things herself so you would have help. There is a room off the kitchen that is nice and cozy." Layton said. Valerie smiled.

"I would love some help! With two of us we would get done in half the time and I could spend more time with Clara Rose. Please, can you start today." Valerie exclaimed. The girl felt tears in her eyes as she smiled and shook her head yes. Valerie beamed.

"Then it's settled. Well, Travis, let's get to work." Layton said as he and Travis grabbed their hats and went out to work. Valerie stood up and walked over to the girl.

"Let me show you the house. Please, make yourself at home." Valerie said to the girl. Valerie had a sweet kind smile. They went thru the kitchen and into the side room. Valerie let the girl know that this would be her room. The room was spacious and had two large windows. A full sized bed, dresser and chest of drawers. The room was more than anything she could have asked for.

"This room is beautiful. Thank you so much. I promise to not let you down." The girl said. Valerie smiled. They continued through the house. Valerie showed the girl the upstairs which had the master bedroom, the baby's room, and another room. Valerie explained the daily routines and soon retired to feed the baby and take a nap. The girl went and settled into the room. About an hour later, the girl went into the kitchen and looked around. She decided to make some sandwiches and fresh fruit for lunch. She made Layton two sandwiches and put them on a plate. She cut up an apple and a pear and placed them on the plate with the sandwich. She covered up the plate with a clean towel and then went to fix some lemonade. After she finished the lemonade, she made herself and Valerie a sandwich and half an apple and half a pear each.

About that time, Layton came in for lunch. He greeted the girl while he took off his hat. She placed his plate on the table and fixed him a glass of lemonade. He sat down and thanked her. She excused herself just then as Clara began to cry. The girl walked upstairs and went into the nursery. She picked up baby Clara and went to change her diaper. The baby calmed as soon as she was dry and the pair headed to the master bedroom. The girl knocked on the door softly. Valerie called for them to come in.

"Mrs. Valerie, lunch is ready. And Miss Clara is awake and dry. Mr. Layton is downstairs eating now." The girl said. Valerie smiled.

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much. Will you take her on down and I will be right behind you. I just want to fix my hair. And Cheyenne, please call me Val. And it's just Layton. We are friends here." Valerie replied. The girl smiled and headed downstairs. She went in and got Valerie's plate and brought it to the table. She then went and poured her a glass of lemonade. Valerie came down and sat down next to her husband. A couple of minutes later, Valerie called for the girl.

"Aren't you going to eat with us? We are friends. Come and sit down with us." Valerie said. The girl brought her plate and cup to the table. She began to eat while holding Clara. Layton announced that Travis would be joining them for dinner. The girl nodded and after they finished she cleaned their plates. She began peeling apples for an apple crisp that she remembered her mother making. Valerie had taken the baby to feed her. After the apples were peeled and seasoned, the girl started peeling potatoes and assembling supper.

That evening, the girl set the table and then went into the kitchen to make sure everything was good. She had even been out to the field around the house and picked some flowers to put on the table. She checked on Valerie and the baby and found that Valerie was reading while Clara was napping. Soon the men came in. The girl fixed the men their plates and brought them to the table. She then fixed Valerie and herself a plate. She brought the cradle downstairs and placed the sleeping baby inside. She then brought their plates to the table. The men talked business and they made pleasant conversation after Valerie gave them a stern look.

"Cheyenne, I forgot to tell you where Buck is. He left that night with a friend of his. If you believe it, it was Wild Bill Hickok. Apparently, Buck and Hickok are part owners of The Bar PXF ranch in Rock Creek Nebraska. So, Buck is in Rock Creek, Nebraska." Travis told the family. Layton looked up.

"You don't say. The Bar PXF? They have the best horse flesh in Nebraska. I think you and I have talked about going to see them about some stock haven't we?" Layton said. Travis shook his head yes. The girl got up and picked up all the plates. She then went into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. She pulled the apple crisp from the oven and began to dish up bowls. She took the bowls into the dining room and served the men first. She then went back into the kitchen and poured up the coffee and served the coffee.

"So, Travis, is your eye on our new house guest?" Layton asked. Travis and Valerie laughed.

"Layton you know that I am seeing Luke. He and I are getting along very well." Travis said. Layton smiled. Travis and one of the ranch hands, Luke, had seeing each other for about six months. As long as no one let on they knew, no one cared. Luke basically lived with Travis in Travis's home. Mr. Burch still lived in the main house.

"Oh I know. I just thought I would ask." Layton said with a laugh. The family finished their dinner. The girl had been tending to Clara and was only half listening. She now knew where Buck was. She thought about writing to him to let him know about the baby.

The next couple of months went by quickly. The girl fell in love with the family and they became close friends. The girl was beginning to feel right at home. Her pregnancy was progressing nicely and she was now almost five months along.

In October, a visitor came to call on Travis. The man stopped at the main house and asked to speak with Mr. Burch. The house lady told him that all ranch business went through Mr. Travis. She directed him down to the stables. Upon entering the stable, the man asked one of the hands for Mr. Travis. Travis came around the corner when he heard his name being called.

"I'm Travis Burch. What can I do for you?" Travis said reaching out to shake the man's hand. The man shook hands and smiled. Travis had an immediate bad feeling about this man and his intentions.

"Yes sir. My name is Mr. Johnson and I am looking for one of my workers. I own the saloon and one of my girls is missing. Seems she ran out a couple of months ago and is under contract so she needs to return to work or pay me the buyout. I only know her as Cheyenne." Mr. Johnson said to Travis. A few of the hands were now paying attention. They all liked the girl. A few even knew about the arrangement Buck had for her.

"I see. Well, we did recently hire a new house lady but I am afraid she is not who you are looking for. The new lady is a friend of my sister's and she is expecting. But just out of curiosity, what would the buyout be on that contract?" Travis asked. Mr. Johnson got a gleam in his eye. This could be better than he originally thought.

"Oh the buyout would be five hundred dollars. She would be free of her contract at that time." Mr. Johnson said. Travis nodded. He asked Mr. Johnson to meet him at the bank the following day at noon. Mr. Johnson agreed, tipped his hat, and went on his way. Travis turned and looked at the men who worked for him.

"Listen up boys. That man is trouble. Do not, I repeat, Do NOT allow him on this property or within shouting distance of Cheyenne or my sister. I am going to give him his money and hopefully that will save her." Travis said as he turned to head over to his sister's house.

Travis knocked on the back door as he opened it. Layton called for him to come in. The adults were all in the living room relaxing. The girl and Valerie were both sewing while Layton played with his daughter. The girl immediately jumped up and got Travis some lemonade. She also brought everyone else a glass.

"What brings you by Travis?" Layton asked.

"Cheyenne, a Mr. Johnson was here. Now I know all about the situation but I don't trust him. I am going to buy out your contract with him so you will be free of him. I have instructed the hands to not allow him on this property of within shouting distance of you or Valerie. I don't trust him." Travis said to the group.

"Mr. Travis, I can't let you do that." The girl said. "I can leave. I will try to find Buck and get out of your way."

"No. It's okay. You are family now." Valerie said reaching out to hug the girl.

The next day, Travis met the man at the bank. He gave him two hundred fifty dollars with the understanding that the rest would be paid upon receipt of the voided contract. Mr. Johnson agreed and the men parted ways.

A few days later, Valerie and the girl were in town doing some shopping. The girl bought a few dresses since she was starting to show. They would last her awhile. As they were coming out of the dress shop, Mr. Johnson saw her. Valerie turned to go into the shop next door. Mr. Johnson stepped in front of the girl, grabbed her arm, and she froze at the sound of his voice.

"Well, if it isn't my missing working whore. Now, I am in need of your return to services. We can get rid of that bastard. I think you will be my personal girl since I can't trust you." Mr. Johnson hissed into her ear. Just then Valerie came out of the shop.

"You will unhand my friend Mister or I will call the marshal." Valerie spoke to him loudly and firmly.

"I will find you." Mr. Johnson hissed before letting her go. He turned and tipped his hat to Valerie who looked at him coldly. People had stopped when she had raised her voice. Her family was prominent and well liked in Cheyenne. Mr. Johnson walked off.

"Are you all right?" Valerie asked the girl. The girl just stood there and shook. She was visibly upset. She heard Valerie began to say something else and even shout but the words were muffled. She felt the ground coming closer and then darkness.

"Luke! Luke help!" Valerie shouted as she saw him come from the mercantile. A couple of the hands had come in for a few things. Luke ran across the road as the girl began to fall. He reached her just in time to keep her from hitting the boardwalk hard. He picked her up and carried her to the doctor. Valerie told the other hand to go back to the ranch and alert Layton and Travis.

Luke met Travis and Layton outside the doctor's office and filled him on what had happened. All three men went back into the doctor's office. Valerie came out and said that the girl had woken up and would be fine. The baby was fine and moving. Valerie asked Luke to go and fetch the wagon for them. He nodded and headed out to get the wagon. He brought it up and tied it outside the doctor's office. Travis and Layton helped the girl out to the wagon. They family all rode home together. That evening, after everyone had rested, the family met in the living room.

"I am leaving. Valerie and Layton, thank you so much for everything. Travis, thank you for bringing me here and allowing me to be a part of this family. I will never forget any of you." The girl said.

"Where are you going Cheyenne?" Travis asked. Valerie was trying to hold back her tears.

"I will travel as far as I can. I will hope to find a place to settle and have my baby. Maybe I will eventually find Buck. I do not want to disturb his happiness." The girl said. The family nodded in their understanding. Valerie stood up and walked around to the girl.

"I will miss you a great deal. Please write to me and let me know that you and the baby are okay. I love you like my sister. Thank you for everything you have done for us." Valerie said through her tears.

The next morning, the girl left her letter on the dining room table as she left. She had packed all of things and the money she had earned. She snuck out the door before anyone was up. She found one of the hands in the barn and asked him to saddle her a horse. She told him that they could pick up the horse in Fort Laramie. He told her no. He went and saddled a horse that she knew as Buttons. He was a gently gelding and was light brown in color. The hand let her know that Buttons was her horse by order of Mrs. Valerie. Mrs. Valerie knew how much she loved Buttons and had given her the horse.

The girl mounted the horse and rode off in the direction of Rock Creek. She stopped and stayed in a few of the towns along the way. She was moving slow with the pregnancy and she didn't want to take any chances. After about a month, she arrived in Fort Kearney. Fort Kearney was a well known Army outpost. The fort housed soldiers awaiting order and new recruits. The fort also served as a major trading post.

The girl knew she would have to stop here for a while. She was now almost seven months pregnant. She needed to get a job somewhere and settle before the birth. She also hoped that she would be far enough away that Mr. Johnson would not catch up to her.

She boarded her horse at the livery and went to the hotel. She took a room and rested the remainder of the day. The next day she went and explored the town a little. She acclimated herself to the area. That evening she returned to the hotel and wrote a letter to Valerie letting her know that she would be in Fort Kearney for a while and that she would keep in touch.

The next day, the girl went into the mercantile to get a few supplies. There was a lady in the store speaking to the clerk. The lady asked about some cloths. She explained that she needed to make new bandages. The girl thought that the lady may have an injured husband or child and could use help in her home. She followed the lady out of the store.

"Excuse me ma'am." The girl said to the lady as they walked down the boardwalk. The lady turned around and smiled.

"Yes. Can I help you?" The lady said.

"I am sorry but I overheard you asking about bandages. Do you have an ill or injured husband or child. I know it's not my business but I was inquiring because I was curious if you are in need of some help at home. I can provide a statement from my last employer." The girl said in a hurry. She need to find a job soon and hoped this lady would be of help.

"Actually no. I do not have an injured husband or child at home. My husband is one of the Army doctors stationed here. I need the cloth to make bandages for his office." The lady said to the girl. The lady was small and petite but of average height. She had light brown hair that was pulled back in a braid down her back. She wore a simple blue dress and looked to be about the same age as the girl. The lady had very kind eyes that looked intently at the girl in front of her.

"Oh. I see. I am sorry to have bothered you." The girl said softly. She had turned to walk away when the lady called her back.

"I do however need some help at home. I am a nurse and often help my husband or the local doctor. It would be nice to have someone there that can cook and clean and help out. We could pay you and you could stay in the little cabin behind our home. It's just a little one room cabin but it's cozy. How far along are you?" The lady asked.

"Seven months. That's why I am trying to get a job and get settled before the baby comes. I would love to come and help. Do you have a stable for my horse?" The girl asked. The lady smiled.

"Yes we do. We have a few horses and we have a hand that takes care of the stable. Please, let's get your things and your horse and go home." The lady said. Both women smiled at each other. "By the way, my name is Kelly. Kelly Betten."

"Thank you Mrs. Betten. My name is Cheyenne." The girl said. The ladies packed up the girl's few belongings and went the livery to get Buttons. Kelly drove the wagon back to her home and showed the girl around. She left her in the little cabin to get settled. She told her to come over in a little bit and they would start dinner. The girl agreed.

"Mrs. Betten." The girl called out as she entered the main house a couple of hours later. She looked around and began making a mental note of where everything was and how the lady liked her house.

"It's just Kelly. Let's start dinner." The ladies chatted while cooking. When the dinner was almost finished, the door opened. "That must be Mark."

"Cheyenne, I would like you to meet my husband Mark. Mark, this is Cheyenne. I hired her to help me out here in the house." Kelly explained to her husband. Mark smiled and shook the girl's hand. He was also of average height but slightly taller than the ladies. He was very attractive with black hair and dark eyes. The girl could see that the couple was very much in love.

"It's a pleasure meeting you Cheyenne. Where are you from?" Mark asked as they were sitting down to eat.

"Mr. Betten, I . . ." The girl started to say.

"It's just Mark. But if they Army is around it's Captain Mark Betten. Here at home, it's just Mark." Mark interrupted with a smile.

"Yes sir. Well, Mark. My parents were killed when I was sixteen. We were in Cheyenne at the time. I stayed and started working in one of the saloon's there. First I was a laundry girl. Then, after a couple of years, I became a bar maid. I had a contract that stated that I only served drinks. I did that for a couple of years. One night, a man walked in that I was so taken with. He approached me about going upstairs. I took him upstairs and he paid to keep me for himself. He was so nice and generous. We often had dinner and just talked. We were friends and only sometimes more. He left at the end of April and told me the night before that he would never be back. I got pregnant that night. The saloon was bought and the new owner changed everyone's contracts and we were all required to be working girls. I couldn't do it. And not with my baby. The father is a great man. I know where he is but I haven't told him yet." The girl explained slowly. Kelly and Mark both listened and waited for the girl to finish. "I know that he didn't nor does he love me. But my baby is not a mistake. I will have my baby and care for him or her. One day I will tell him, but not today. He has a good life and a great woman that he went home to. I won't come in between that."

"Is Cheyenne your real name?" Mark asked. He had a hunch and he wanted to make sure he had the facts.

"No sir." The girl said and put her head down. Mark nodded his head in agreement. He thought so.

"You are running from that new owner aren't you?" Mark asked. The girl nodded. "So, you said that the father of your baby has a wife?"

"Well, no. He came to Cheyenne because he was in love with her. She was married and her husband went to fight for the South. Their marriage was basically over. But he couldn't be her lover. He . . ." The girl stopped and took a deep breath.

"Cheyenne, don't worry. I am only asking because I want to protect you. I don't like the way this new saloon owner sounds." Mark said. Kelly reached over and put her hand over his. She smiled and nodded yes in agreement.

"The father is part Indian. They would surely hang him if they became lovers. The woman and the father of my baby are deeply in love but they have to wait until her marriage is over. Her husband was killed in the war so now they can be together." The girl finished her story. She knew it sounded crazy and made her out to be a common whore. She knew the truth in her heart. Buck knew the truth and that was all that mattered to her.

"Well, you and your baby are safe here. Kelly and I very private people and believe that your business is exactly that. So, don't worry about how we feel. You are welcome here and it sounds like you loved him very much. I think one day the two of you will be able to parent and be friends. You are our friend and I wouldn't dream of treating you as anything else." Mark explained to the girl.

"Well, let me tell you a little about Mark and I. I am Oregon originally. Mark is from Michigan. We met when I moved east to help with the war effort. I offered my skills as a nurse. Mark and I met in one of camps in Kansas. He was one of the doctors there and I was to assist him. We've been together ever since. We married right before the war ended. We were sent here to Fort Kearney and so here we are." Kelly explained. The friends continued their dinner. They continued to chat and after the ladies cleaned up from supper, the girl retired to her cabin. She began to tidy up and make the small cabin her own.

November came in and found that the friends had become very close. The girl would share more about her life as would the young couple. They enjoyed each other's company quite a bit. The girl's pregnancy was going well and she was looking forward to seeing her baby. She wondered if the baby would look like Buck. His bronzed skin and brown-black hair. His brown eyes. Or would the baby look like her. She also had brown eyes. She had brown hair. But she had a fair complexion. Would it be a boy, strong and proud like his father. Would it be a girl, sweet and fair like her mother.

December brought in cool weather. The girl was now eight months pregnant and starting to get very uncomfortable. She would spend time at night talking to her baby and reading to the baby. She would dream of Buck and of him holding the baby. The baby was very active and kicked like a champ.

The girl spent time getting things ready for the baby. He had diapers and night dresses. Blankets and bibs and burp cloths. She had extra padding for the birth. She was getting prepared. She wanted to stay right there in Fort Kearney with the Betten's. Maybe, she could work with them for a long while. She really enjoyed their company and they were good people.

Christmas Eve dawned early. The girl went over and helped with breakfast. Kelly noticed that the girl seemed very quiet and tired. As they were cleaning up the breakfast dishes, Mark asked about her.

"Cheyenne, are you okay? You seem a bit quiet this morning?" Mark asked. Kelly nodded.

"Yes. Did they baby keep you up last night?" Kelly asked. The girl stopped drying the dishes and shook her head.

"No. I am sorry. I just am not feeling well this morning. I feel so . . . heavy . . . and so tired. And sometimes my back will start to ache and then it will stop." The girl said. Kelly and Mark smiled at each other.

"Cheyenne, you are probably in labor. Why don't you go home and lay down. Or would you rather stay here?" Kelly asked while coming over to rub here back. The girl sighed.

"It's too early. The baby is too early." The girl said a little out of breath.

"It will be fine, you will see. Let's get you home and resting." Kelly said as she reached the girl. Kelly helped her out the back door and down to her cabin. After she helped the girl get changed into a night gown, Kelly made sure that the girl was comfortable. "This may take awhile. First babies usually take a while."

After a couple of hours, Kelly went and made some broth for the girl and helped her eat. Kelly then went and fixed Mark lunch and took it to him at his office at the Army post. When Kelly returned, the girl was trying to walk around her cabin.

"I can't lie down anymore. It hurts my back to much." The girl said. Kelly sat down at the small table and watched the girl walk in circles. "Kelly. . . please. Will you do something for me?"

"Of course I will. You know that." Kelly said. The girl had stopped walking and was leaning on the back of the chair trying to breathe slowly. She cried out and moaned. After a couple of minutes the girl was able to sit down in the chair.

"If something . . . if. . . if anything happens to me. Please. Please take my baby and give him or her to the father. He deserves to know. But if he doesn't want the baby, would . . . would you and Mark raise him or her. This baby deserves a loving family." The girl asked. She looked at Kelly with tears of pain and need in her eyes. She needed to know that her baby had a place if she didn't survive.

"We will be happy to take the baby to his or her father. And if the father won't step up, then Mark and I would be proud to be parents to your little miracle. But, that's not going to happen. Everything is going to be just fine. You'll see. Now let's get you back in bed so you can rest a little." Kelly said to the girl. Kelly led the girl over to her bed and helped her lie down.

The girl tried to rest in between contractions. Kelly would help wipe her brow with a cool cloth. A couple of hours later, Mark came knocking on the door. Kelly opened the door and told Mark that the girl's labor was progressing nicely. Mark had brought them home some dinner from the hotel restaurant. Mark went and checked on the girl and let her know she would be delivering soon. He and Kelly ate their dinner. Kelly went on to check on her again after eating.

"Kelly. Please we need . . . OOOHHHHH! OUCHHHHH!" The girl yelled. After the contraction was over, the girl settled back down. "I need to tell you about the baby's father."

"Okay. Tell me all about him." Kelly said. Kelly sat down in the chair next to the bed. She held the girl's hand and continued to encourage her.

"His name is Buck. Buck Cross. He owns part of The Bar PXF ranch in Rock Creek. He's half Kiowa and his brother is a chief. He used to ride with the Pony Express. His business partners are Ike McSwain, Teaspoon Hunter, Louise McCloud and Jimmy Hickok. Most people know him as 'Wild Bill' although Buck says Jimmy is nothing like that man. Ike is his best friend and blood brother. Teaspoon is like a father to them all. He is also the marshal of Rock Creek. Louise is the lady that he wants to marry. He's tall and has dark brown eyes. He has bronze skin and brown-black hair. He is amazingly kind." The girl said. She stopped speaking and tried to breathe through the contractions. She felt like she was going to split in two.

"Cheyenne, I promise. If anything happens, Mark and I will get the baby to their father. If he doesn't want the baby, then we will raise him or her." Kelly said as she smiled at the girl. The girl smiled back and let her tears fall. She was relieved to know that her baby would be taken care of if she wasn't able to take care of him or her. Mark came in to check and see how things were progressing.

"Do you feel any pressure Cheyenne? Or do you feel like you need to push?" Mark asked. The girl nodded yes.

"I feel pressure." The girl said. Mark washed his hands and went to check her progress. After checking her, He pulled her night dress back down and told her it would not be long and to let him know when she felt like pushing. The girl continued to labor and tried to be brave during the contractions.

"Kelly, I feel like I should push." The girl said to Kelly about an hour later. Kelly went and called for Mark. Both of them washed their hands and Mark rolled up his sleeves. Kelly continued to wipe the girl's brow and held her hand. Kelly gave her encouraging words. The girl yelled and cried out. Mark continued to tell her how good she was doing. Mark told her to push and after about an hour the most beautiful sound in the world was heard; The baby's first cry.

Mark handed the baby to Kelly. Kelly wrapped the baby up and went over to give the baby a wash off. Mark delivered the afterbirth and made sure that she was not bleeding too much. Mark went over and checked the baby while Kelly helped the girl clean up and change in to a clean nightgown. Once the girl was settled back into bed, Kelly went and took the baby from Mark. She brought the baby to the girl.

"I think somebody may be hungry. It's a boy!" Kelly said excitedly. Both ladies began to cry as Kelly helped the girl begin to breastfeed. The baby latched on right away. The baby had lightly bronzed skin. He had brown eyes and a straight nose. He had a head full of thick black hair. He was the exact copy of Buck. Kelly and Mark left the room to give her and the baby some privacy. A little while later, Mark went in to check on her before he walked over to the main house.

"Thank you Mark. I can never repay you and Kelly. Thank you so much for everything." The girl said. Mark leaned in and gave the girl a hug. Mark checked on the baby who was asleep in his bassinet.

"He's beautiful Cheyenne. You did good. Good night little man. Good night Cheyenne. I will see you both in the morning." Mark said as he went to leave. He stopped in the kitchen and kissed his wife good night.

"Please go home and stay with your husband. We will be fine." The girl said to Kelly. Kelly shook her head no.

"I will stay here on the couch in case you or the baby need anything." Kelly explained.

"Kelly, please I insist. We will be fine." The girl said. Kelly finally gave in and said she would be back to check on her in a little while. The girl nodded in assenting. The night went by peacefully. The girl slept while the baby slept and fed the baby when he cried. She kept his bassinet close so she could reach him. Kelly had placed some diapers on the bedside table so the girl could change the baby.

When Kelly came in the next morning, both the baby and the girl were asleep. Kelly checked on the baby in his bassinet. She then went and lit the fire in the stove. Once she heard the girl stirring, Kelly went into the bedroom with a plate of breakfast. The girl smiled at Kelly and thanked her. Kelly picked up the baby boy and cuddled with him.

"So, do you have a name picked out yet?" Kelly asked. The baby cooed at her while she gently rocked him.

"No. Actually I haven't even given his name any thought." The girl said. "Kelly, Thank you. Thank you for everything. You are Mark have been so good to me. . . to us. I will never be able to repay you."

"That's what friends are for." Kelly said as she smiled. She continued to snuggle on the baby and the girls talked off and on all day. Mark came in and checked on the girl and gave her a clean bill of health. He and Kelly ate breakfast in the little cabin before beginning their day.

The month flew by quickly. The girl still had not named her baby boy. She just referred to him as baby. Kelly was worried about the fact that she had not named the baby yet. However, Mark assured her everything was fine since she was a very loving and attentive mother. Kelly agreed. The girl took excellent care of the baby and continued to do her job as well.

One morning, Kelly asked the girl to go into town for supplies. Kelly saddled her horse and went to make rounds on a couple of patients who just needed dressing changes. The girl asked the hand to hitch the wagon. She traveled into town with her baby in his basket. She went into the mercantile and dropped off the order. She walked across the street to the dress shop. She browsed the selections while waiting for the order to be ready.

Once the order was ready, the girl went back across the street. She climbed into the wagon and settled the baby's basket in the wagon. She began to drive the wagon when she saw him. His back was to her at first but she recognized his voice. As he turned to the side to look around, she realized that she was right. Her worst fear had come true. He had found her. She flicked the reigns and tried to get out of town as quick as she could.

The girl had no idea that Ben Johnson was just passing through. He had been informed that the girl known only as Cheyenne was kept by a half breed that worked for the Burch Corral Ranch. He had also been told that the half breed had left town about three months before he bought the saloon. The half breed left with Wild Bill Hickok and was headed to Rock Creek. If he was there, the girl must be there.

The girl made it back to the Betten house. She quickly put up the supplies. She knew what she had to do. She went and packed what she could. She had the hand saddle Buttons for her. She secured her bags. She fashioned a sling for the baby and wrapped him up close to her.

The girl wrote a letter for Kelly and Mark and left it on their dining room table. She took a long look around and let tears escape from her eyes. She was sad. She loved Mark and Kelly. They had been her friends. Just like Valerie, Layton, and Travis. Because of her love for them she had to leave. She would not risk their lives.

_Dearest Mark and Kelly,_

_When you find this letter, I will be long gone. I couldn't bear to face you to say goodbye and I am truly sorry for that. _

_I am going to try and make a life for the baby. I hope one day I will be able to stop running. While in town today, I saw Mr. Johnson. He has found me. I will not risk your lives for me. Both of you are family and are too important for that. _

_I am going to try and find Buck. He deserves to know about his son. I hope to one day be able to come back and see you or stay awhile. _

_I will never forget you both. I wish you all the best and love. I will write once I get settled and let you know how things are. Thank you again for everything. _

_ Cheyenne_

She mounted Buttons and took off. She hoped that he was the honorable man she thought he was. She couldn't let anything happen to Kelly or Mark. She turned east headed for the only person that could possibly help her. The only one that could possibly save her. Rock Creek; Buck.

27


	14. I Do

**A/N: The usual copyright junk. Yada Yada Blah Blah. I do however wish I could own Buck Cross. Whew! Anywho! Continue to hang on! Same warnings and all apply. Thanks so much if you are still reading! You mean the world to me. Thanks to Laura, Susan, and Ms. Silenthorse (Vandy) for all your encouragement and support. I cherish our friendships!**

"I know the questions in your mind, But go ahead and ask me one more time  
You'll find the answer's still the same, It won't change from day to day, for worse or better

Will I promise to be your best friend, And am I here until the end  
Can I be sure I have been waiting for you, And did I say my love is true  
Baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do"

~ Paul Brandt

Chapter 13

I Do

Rock Creek, Nebraska

December 1864

The last few months had found the ranch settling down for the winter. The boys were rotating stock and making sure that they had enough provisions for the winter. Christmas was coming and it was decided that Jeremiah and Buck would go out and hunt for the turkey as they had in years past. Buck wanted to talk to Jeremiah alone anyway. Two days before Christmas the pair packed up and kissed their ladies goodbye. They rode out a ways and set up camp to try and hunt for whatever they could.

"Jeremiah, I was wondering if I could speak with you about something." Buck said as they finished up their small meal. Jeremiah looked over at Buck and suddenly wondered what he had done wrong. Since Jimmy, Lydia and he had talked and forgiven each other, everything had been fine.

"Sure Buck. What's on your mind?" Jeremiah said cautiously.

"I was, uh, . . . well, I . . ." Buck said. He took a deep breath. Why was this so difficult? "Jeremiah, I love Louise. I know that everyone knows that. You are her brother and I only feel that it be right if I ask you."

"Ask me what Buck?" Jeremiah said. Now he had an idea of what was going on. Buck wanted to marry Louise. Jeremiah wanted nothing more than for the two of them to marry. Kid had not asked his permission and Jeremiah didn't like that. Although he was young, he still wanted to be respected as the 'man'.

"I would like your permission. . . to . . . to ask Louise to marry me." Buck said nervously. "I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life making her happy and providing for her and our family. That includes you and Teresa."

"Buck, it would be an honor to be your brother. I know you love Louise deeply. She loves you just as much. I know that she loved Kid, but it was different. I see the way she looks at you, the way she acts with you. She is truly in love with you. I know that she doesn't need my permission and you don't either, but I greatly appreciate that you asked. Thank you for always treating me like a man." Jeremiah said with a genuine smile. He meant every word. "Do you already the ring?"

"Yeah, actually I do." Buck said. He went to his saddle bag and pulled out a black velvet pouch. He reached inside and pulled out a silver ring with a large beautiful opal stone in the middle. He also pulled out two silver bands. They were in the shape of belts with buckles and had an intricate pattern on the band. "I have her engagement ring and then our wedding bands. The Kiowa do not have bands but I want the world to know that Louise is my wife and I am proud to be her husband. The jeweler in St. Joe said the belt buckle is a symbol of eternal loyalty and love. That's what I have for Louise. Eternal loyalty and love."

Buck handed the rings to Jeremiah. Jeremiah looked them over and was impressed. Buck had thought a lot about marrying his sister. He handed the rings back to Buck who put them back in his saddlebag. The pair shared some more small talk before turning in.

Two days later, Buck and Jeremiah rode back in with a huge turkey and six deer. They put up the meat and Buck went to take care of the hides. The next day was Christmas Eve and the family had made plans. They would all meet for Christmas Eve lunch and then retire to their respective houses. On Christmas Day, everyone would meet for a late lunch and exchange gifts.

Christmas Eve was a joyous affair and the whole ranch turned out for lunch. The family took their time eating and the ladies enjoyed coffee and dessert by the fire. The men went and checked the stock and then retired to the bunk house for some poker. After a couple of hours, the families all went to their respective houses.

That evening was no different for Buck and Lou. They sat by the fire with their coffee. Lou had her legs draped over Buck's. He rubbed his hand up and down her legs while relaxing. He noticed Lou was quiet after the ladies left and wondered what was on her mind.

"What's on your mind honey?" Buck asked Lou. Lou sighed and looked at her cup of coffee. "Lou, we can't keep secrets from each other. It almost ripped us apart last time."

"I know Buck. I just get sad this time of year. I know that it was probably for the best but I still feel sad because I lost my baby. What if it was my fault that the baby died?" Louise said softly. Her tears slid down her cheeks.

"Lou. Louise, you will always love that baby. Nothing and no one will ever change that. I am sorry that you had to endure that. You know as well as I do that there was nothing you could have done differently. The baby dying is not your fault." Buck said as he held her hands. She looked at him and saw the love in his eyes.

"What if. . ." Lou stopped. She couldn't finish her question in that moment.

"What if what Lou?" Buck asked her softly.

"What if . . . What if I can't give you a baby? What if I can't have children. You deserve to have all the children you can. I don't want you to be tied down to someone who can't give you any babies." Lou said. She couldn't hide her emotions. She wanted to have Buck's children more than she ever wanted Kid's children. With Kid she wasn't even sure if she wanted children. When she got pregnant, she was elated and looked forward to the baby. Then, after losing the baby, she decided that trying to have children wasn't worth it. With Buck, she knew she wanted to give him a whole tribe if she was able.

"Louise Mary McCloud! Do you honestly think that I am here just for you to have my children? Is that the only reason you think I am here?" Buck said. He was half joking. He knew better but she needed to realize that he truly loved her whether they never had a baby or had twelve.

"No. But every man wants a son. And . . ." Louise began.

"But I am not every man. I am Buck. And you are Louise. And we are going to make the most out of life. Whether we have no babies or twelve babies, I will love you. I will always love you. I want to walk through this life with you by my side. I need a partner. I need you." Buck said. He leaned over and kissed Lou softly. He pulled out the velvet pouch from his shirt pocket. He pulled it open and held up the ring. "Louise Mary McCloud, Will you marry me? Will you be my partner, my best friend, my lover, my wife, my everything? Will you marry me?"

Lou looked at the ring. She gasp and realized that this was really happening. Buck wanted to marry her. He wanted to pledge his life to her. She couldn't believe it.

"Yes." Lou said softly.

"What was that?" Buck said. He wanted to make sure he had heard her correctly.

"Yes! Yes I will marry. I will marry you right now. I love you Buck Cross!" Lou said as she jumped into his lap. She kissed him passionately. They stayed like that for several minutes. Kissing and whispering love to each other. Louise stood up and pulled Buck up. They went to their bedroom and loved all night long.

The next morning, Louise woke up and untangled herself from Buck. She still couldn't believe that he was there. And that he wanted to marry her. She looked down at the ring on her finger. It wasn't a dream. She got up and put on her robe. She went downstairs and made them a light breakfast. A few minutes later, Buck came down the stairs. He joined Lou in the kitchen and they enjoyed a cup of coffee together. Buck then got another cup and went to the front door. He opened the door and stepped out on to the porch. He took a deep breath of the fresh air and smiled. This life was amazing.

As he took another deep breath Buck felt something. He felt it in his soul. He couldn't put his finger on it. He felt like a piece of him was missing yet he had discovered a part that he didn't know existed. He felt tears in his eyes yet had no idea what was happening. He heard Teresa come down the stairs and squeal with delight at the sight of her gifts. She had two new beautiful dresses. They were the same style; one was yellow and the other one a deep navy. She even had new underpinnings and heeled boots to match. Buck came in with a smile. Lou was already in the living room fussing over Teresa and her new dresses. Buck stopped and took in the scene. Louise had to be Lou for so long it was nice to see her being Louise all the time. She was now able to have and provide nice dresses and be a lady. Buck went over to the ladies and pulled a box from behind the tree.

"Merry Christmas Teresa. This is from me." Buck said as he gave Teresa a hug. Teresa's eyes lit up and she looked at Louise. Louise gave her a confused look and shrugged her shoulders. Teresa opened the box to find two doe skin dresses and a set of moccasins. There was also a beaded bracelet. Teresa delicately touched the items and felt the tears in her eyes. She went over and hugged Buck tightly around the waist. Buck hugged her back and then looked over at Lou. Lou was beaming with love. "I thought we would go and spend some time with Red Bear this spring. I figured you could use something to wear while we are there."

"Really! Please. Please can we go to the village? I would love to see Red Flower and Yellow Rabbit. And of course Red Hawk as well." Teresa said excitedly. Buck smiled and hugged her again. Teresa took out the bracelet and took a look at the intricate pattern. The pattern began with white beads outlining the inside pattern. The inside pattern included a yellow star in the middle. The yellow star was outlined with dark blue beads. To the sides of the star were Buck's family markings. Teresa looked up at Buck with tears in her eyes. Buck reached out and helped tie the bracelet on her wrist.

"Yes, Teresa. I would like for us to go visit the village in the spring. Also, you are my family. As such, you should wear my family markings. I love you Syân já̱." Buck said to her. Louise had tears in her eyes as well. "Since Jeremiah already knows, I would you to know as well before the rest of the family. I asked Louise to marry me and she said yes."

Teresa squealed with delight and ran to hug Louise. Louise smiled and embraced her sister. Louise pulled her close to see the bracelet. Teresa wanted to see the ring.

"Buck, what do you mean Jeremiah already knows?" Lou asked him. Buck chuckled.

"Because I had to ask his permission to marry you. He is the oldest male in your family." Buck said to Louise. Lou and Teresa both put their hands to the mouths in disbelief. "I told you. Jeremiah and Teresa are your siblings. That makes them my family. I love them just like my own siblings. That's what family is all about."

"You . . . you asked Jeremiah . . . for my hand?" Louise asked as tears fell down her checks. Buck brushed them away. He nodded his head yes. "That means so much to me. And I'm sure it meant the world to him. Thank you for being such a wonderful man."

Louise and Buck embraced. Buck leaned down and kissed her passionately. Teresa slipped into the kitchen while they were kissing. Teresa felt like her family was finally coming together. She was also excited about visiting the village in the spring.

"Louise, will you marry me?" Buck said to Lou. Lou smiled.

"I already said yes. I am wearing your ring." Louise smiled as she spoke.

"I mean will you marry me now. Today. Here. Teaspoon perform the ceremony and all our family watching. Marry me." Buck said. He leaned in and kissed her again.

"Yes. YES! I will marry you today. A thousand times yes!" Louise squealed. "Is that why you want to go to the village? To tell Red Bear we got married?"

"One of the reasons. I was wondering if you would marry me there also. A traditional Kiowa ceremony as well. That way we are married according to both of our traditions." Buck said as he smiled. Louise smiled back at him.

"I would love to Buck. I think that's a great idea. I would love to be your wife in every way and tradition possible." Lou said as she kissed him again. Buck smiled into her kiss. He loved this woman with all of himself.

Soon the family began arriving and they enjoyed lunch. They all retired to the living room for gifts. Once they were finished with gifts, Buck stood up and announced that he and Louise had one last gift for each other. He reached down and pulled her up by her hand. Louise beamed at Buck.

"I asked Louise to marry me last night. She said yes." Buck said. All the ladies squealed and ran to hug Louise. The men stood and shook Buck's hand. "There's more. Teaspoon, if you don't mind. Would you marry us? Would you perform the ceremony for us right now?"

The family looked up in shock. Buck and Louise smiled. Teaspoon walked over to the couple and hugged Louise and shook Buck's hand. Teaspoon knew this was right and that no two people were better suited except for the couples in that room.

"Who will stand up for you?" Teaspoon asked.

"I request Ike to stand by me. Jimmy, would you also stand for me as well?" Buck asked. The men stood up and shook his hand again. They went to take their places by his side. "Jeremiah, I love you as a brother, but I do not want you to stand up for me. Please, will you give your sister away?"

"I would be honored to give her in marriage to you my brother." Jeremiah said as he moved to the couple. He took Louise's hand and the siblings embraced. "I love you Louise."

"I love you too Jeremiah. Thank you so much." Lou said as she wiped the tears from his eyes. "I would like Teresa, Emily, and Amanda to stand up with me. Rachel and Lydia, would you be our witnesses?"

"Of course we will!" The ladies cried at the same time.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Since it's just us family, we will skip all the love talk. Everyone in this room knows the love between the two of you. Who gives this woman to this man?" Teaspoon said after clearing his throat.

"I do along with my sister and this, our entire family." Jeremiah said plainly. He put Louise's hand in Buck's and then stepped back to stand by Lydia.

"Do you, Running Buck Cross, take this woman to be you wedded wife? To have and to hold from this day forward? In sickness and in health? In poverty and in wealth? Do you promise to love, honor, and cherish her as long as you both shall live?" Teaspoon said.

"I do." Buck said as he kissed Louise's knuckle.

"Do you, Louise Mary McCloud, take this man to be your wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward? In sickness and in health? In poverty and in wealth? Do you promise to love, honor and obey, well uh, cherish him as long as you both shall live?" Teaspoon said with a chuckle.

"I do." Louise said with a wink to Buck. Everyone chuckled at the obey part.

"Do you have rings?" Teaspoon asked. Buck nodded and pulled out their rings from his pocket. Teaspoon took the rings from Buck. He handed Buck's ring to Lou and Lou's ring to Buck. "A circle. No beginning and no end. That's how love is."

"Buck, place the ring on Louise's left ring finger and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed." Teaspoon explained.

"With this ring, I thee wed. I pledge eternal love and loyalty to you. Everything I am and have is yours. Until death parts our path." Buck said as he slid the ring on her finger. He again kissed Louise's knuckle.

"Beautiful. Louise, place the ring on Buck's left ring finger and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed." Teaspoon explained again.

"With this ring, I thee wed. I pledge eternal love and loyalty to you. Everything I am and have is yours. I will love you until death parts our path." Louise said as she slid the ring on his finger.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. Please kiss your bride." Teaspoon said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. Buck reached out and took Louise's face in his hands. He pulled her to him and brushed his lips against hers. She pressed her lips into his and soon they found themselves in a passionate kiss. They forgot all about the others in the room. They were now married. No one could tear them apart. When they finally pulled away from each other, the others had gone into the dining room and were having coffee.

Later that evening, after everyone had gone back to their homes, Buck sat on the couch waiting for Louise to join him. He felt that feeling again. Like a piece of him was missing but not known. Louise came around the corner and the two enjoyed their coffee. Buck began to rub his hand up and down Lou's leg. He lingered for a few minutes on her upper thigh. He looked over at her and licked his lips. Louise looked over the rim of her coffee mug and winked. Buck sat his coffee mug down and reached under Lou. He picked her up and headed up the stairs. He carried her over the threshold of their bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and began to kiss her. Buck and Louise spent their first night as man and wife bringing each other pleasure, declaring their love in every way possible. The sweat, love, lust, passion, heat, desire all reaching a culmination in every act.

The next day, Jeremiah walked over to the jail. Jimmy was on duty and the day had been quiet. Jeremiah was so nervous. He now understood how Buck felt. Jimmy was sitting at the desk going over some wanted posters.

"Mornin' Jimmy. I was wondering if I could have a word with you?" Jeremiah asked. Jimmy turned and smiled.

"Of course Jeremiah. What's on your mind?" Jimmy asked. He already knew. He knew this day was coming and had been expecting it for some time.

"Well, uh. Jimmy, you see." Jeremiah stumbled over his words. Jimmy was having a hard time keeping a straight face. He knew what Jeremiah was going through.

"Aw, hell Jeremiah, just spit it out." Jimmy said in a mocking annoyed tone.

"Jimmy, you know . . . I love Lydia. I . . . I love her more than anything. She is amazing. She's smart, funny, talented, caring, loving. She makes me want to be a better man. To be the man that deserves a woman as wonderful as she is. I will never be good enough for her, but I would be honored to be her husband. Jimmy, may I have your blessing to marry Lydia?" Jeremiah said to Jimmy. Jimmy was touched by his words. He expected Jeremiah to ask for Lydia. He did not expect him to speak of Lydia the way he did. He didn't even mention her beauty which told Jimmy that Jeremiah loved her for more than her physical attributes. He knew that several of the young ladies in town were sweet on Jeremiah and he was absolutely oblivious to them. Jeremiah could easily do what he wanted with Lydia and then toss her aside. Jimmy knew that the two did not have a physical relationship, at least they were not having sex to his knowledge. Since he was a deputy he tended to know things.

"Do you have the ring?" Jimmy asked. Jeremiah nodded and reached into his shirt pocket. He pulled out a red velvet pouch.

"I got this in Denver. Nothing will ever be good enough or what she deserves. But I saved up and got her this ring." Jeremiah pulled out a silver band. The blue stone in the center had a Rose of Sharon on top. The ring was beautiful and more than Jimmy imagined. "I promise to make her happy. I promise to provide for her and any children we have. I promise to take care of her. As long as I live, I will love her and take care of her."

"I know you will Jeremiah. I am so very proud of the man you have grown up to be. You came here and took life by the reigns and made something of yourself. You have proven to be a good man. But most of all, you love my sister. You respect her." Jimmy had to stop talking to get control of his emotions. After several deep breaths, Jimmy spoke again. "I would be honored to have you marry my sister. When are you going to ask her?"

"New Years Eve. I want to meet with you and the others about where I can start building our home on the ranch. Thank you Jimmy." Jeremiah said. He got up and shook Jimmy's hand. He headed back to the ranch and went into the Big House. He found Lou cleaning up from breakfast.

"Hey Louise. Where's Buck?" Jeremiah said. He grabbed a muffin from the basket.

"Good morning Jeremiah. Where have you been this morning?" Louise asked. She sat down at the table with a cup of coffee and handed him one as well.

"I went to see Jimmy . . . at the jail." Jeremiah replied. He sipped the coffee. "Where's Buck?"

"Buck is in the barn I guess. He went out to start work like he always does. Why?" Louise asked.

"I need to talk to you and I would like Buck to be there. I'm going to get him." Jeremiah said as he jumped up. He ran down to the barn and found Ike and Buck about to rotate stock before lunch.

"Oh good. You are both here." Jeremiah said as he entered the barn.

"What's on your mind Jeremiah?" Ike asked.

"I need to talk to all the partners. I would prefer tonight if possible. Either before dinner or after. It's important." Jeremiah said to the men. Ike and Buck looked at each other.

"Is everything alright?" Buck asked.

"I hope so. I just need to talk to everyone. Please." Jeremiah said.

"Alright Jeremiah. We will all meet after supper tonight. In the Big House. Is that okay?" Buck spoke. Jeremiah nodded his head yes.

"Buck, I need to speak to you and Louise now if that's okay." Jeremiah said. Buck lifted his eyebrows in question. He nodded his head yes.

"Ike, would you let Teaspoon and Rachel know about tonight." Buck asked. Ike agreed and continued on with the rotation. Buck and Jeremiah headed back up to the Big House. Once Buck washed his hands, he came into the dining room. Louise handed him a cup of coffee and he leaned in to kiss her. He took a seat next to her and reached over to hold her hand.

"Alright Jeremiah. You asked to speak with me with Buck here. What's going on?" Louise asked. Jeremiah was sitting across from the couple. He pulled the ring out of his shirt pocket and held it in his hand.

"I went to speak with Jimmy this morning. I wanted to be respectful and . . . ask you Louise." Jeremiah said as he held the ring out to Louise. "I want to ask Lydia to marry me on New Years Eve. I would like your blessing to marry the only woman I will ever love."

Louise gasp and took the ring in her hand. She and Buck looked at the beautiful silver Rose of Sharon that laid on top in the blue stone. Buck smiled and Louise began to cry.

"Please don't cry Louise. I love Lydia more than anything. I promise to be good to her and make her happy." Jeremiah said. Louise wiped away her tears and took a deep breath.

"What did Jimmy say?" Louise asked.

"Jimmy gave me his blessing to marry Lydia. I was so happy I came right back over here to talk to you. I wanted Buck to be here to support you and because he's my brother too." Jeremiah said. Buck smiled and felt the lump of emotion in his throat.

"I would be honored to have Lydia as my sister. You did good Jeremiah. The ring is beautiful." Louise said as she stood up. She and Buck both walked around the table and hugged Jeremiah.

"Uhm, Louise, I requested to meet with all the partners tonight. Buck said we could all meet after supper here at the house. Is that alright?" Jeremiah asked.

"Of course. What's this about?" Louise asked with her eyes squinted. Buck shrugged his shoulders.

"You'll see." Jeremiah said as he went out to help with the stock.

"Buck Cross, what's going on?" Louise said rounding on her husband.

"I have no idea. He asked me and Ike in the barn before we came up here." Buck said. "If I had to guess, it's probably something to do with where they are going to live once they are married."

Louise nodded in understanding. She kissed Buck before he went back out to work. Louise busied herself with dinner preparations. Teresa made a couple of delicious buttermilk pies for dessert. After supper, the family waited for everyone to gather at the Big House. Ike and Emily were the first to arrive. Teaspoon and Rachel followed. Jimmy and Amanda were the last to show up. The families took their places around the table.

"All right. Jeremiah, you called us all here for a meeting. What's going on?" Teaspoon said. Jeremiah smiled as he stood up. Buck, Lou, and Jimmy all smiled at him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my partners, my family. All of you know that Lydia and I have been courting for quite a while now. This morning, I asked Jimmy for his blessing to marry Lydia and he agreed." Jeremiah paused as the family cheered and clapped. Jeremiah was so happy. "I also asked Louise and she agreed as well. I asked you all here tonight because I would like to ask your permission. I would like to build a house here on the property for Lydia and I to start our family. With you all's permission of course."

"Where were you thinking of putting the house?" Ike asked.

"I really haven't thought about where. I figured you all could help me with that." Jeremiah said.

"Well, I guess we should let the cat out of the bag. We put in a bid for the one hundred acres that borders the west side. I found out today that we won the bid. We still managed to get one hell of a deal on that land. Now, how about we ride out in a few days and start laying out the house. Me, you, Ike, and Buck. How does that sound?" Jimmy asked.

"We won the bid! That's wonderful. Now we can expand." Buck said excitedly.

"Yep. And we paid for it outright, in full. So, no loan to worry about. That's what saving from all those auctions will do for ya!" Jimmy said. The family all cheered and was so excited for the expansion.

"Jimmy, I would like that a lot. If you guys would ride with me and help me pick out a spot." Jeremiah said. The family agreed and decided that in a few days they would take a ride and take a look.

New Years Eve arrived and the family all got together at the Main House. Louise and Buck had filed their marriage certificate and were now legally married. They all celebrated and enjoyed dinner and a few drinks. Right at midnight, Jeremiah grabbed Lydia's hand.

"Lydia, you are such an amazing lady. I fell in love with your beautiful soul. I don't deserve you, but I promise to make you the happiest lady in the world. As the New Year comes upon us, would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?" Jeremiah said as he got down on one knee. He had the ring in his other hand. Lydia gasp and began crying.

"YES! YES! I will marry you! Oh my gosh! I can't believe it!" Lydia gushed. Jeremiah pulled out the ring. He put the ring on her ring finger of her left hand. He stood up and pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her passionately. Lydia put her arms around his neck and time stood still. The couple forgot where they were and who was with them. They kissed until several throats clearing brought them back to reality.

"Lydia, I am in no hurry. I want to finish our house first and take our time. We have the rest of our lives together." Jeremiah said to her softly.

"I would wait for you forever." Lydia replied. The families all finished the evening and headed for their houses. Lydia spent the night at Jimmy and Amanda's. Jeremiah escorted her over to the house.

The next few weeks went by in a blur. Buck took his morning coffee on the porch before going out to pray. He had made a commitment to go back to praying every morning. So, every morning he would have a cup of coffee and then go pray. When he returned usually Lou had breakfast ready.

The ranch continued to prosper. The boys had found a great site for Jeremiah's house and decided to wait until spring to start working on it. Everything was going very well for the families at The Bar PXF.

One morning in early February, Buck came downstairs. He got his usual morning coffee and went to go to the porch. He opened up the front door and took a deep breath. He took a long sip of his coffee. He went to take a step onto the porch when his foot ran into something. Buck looked down and saw a basket sitting in front of the door. He bent down and picked it up. He sat the basket on the table and went to move aside the blanket that was obviously covering something. He noticed an envelope on the side. He picked up the envelope and pulled out the letter.

_Dearest Buck,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I found out how to find you from Travis Burch. I hope you are happy and that Louise is treating you well. You deserve all the happiness in the world. You are a great, caring man. _

_A couple of months after you left, the saloon was bought out by a Mr. Ben Johnson. He told all of us that we now had to be working girls and any prior contracts or arrangements were null and void. That meant that the arrangement you had made was no longer valid. Because of you I had started saving to get out and move. Work in a dress shop maybe. That was just a dream though. I realized around the same time that I was pregnant. You have been the only man I have ever loved in any way, physically or emotionally. I knew that I could never raise your baby in that life. Your baby deserved better. _

_I left the saloon and Travis's sister, Valerie, and her husband, Layton, took me in and gave me a job helping Valerie. I went by the name of Cheyenne. I stayed with them for a few months. Mr. Johnson found me and tried to force me to come back. Travis paid him to stay away but he didn't. I left and headed this way to find you. _

_I had to stop in Fort Kearney. I worked for a lovely couple. Captain Mark Betten and his wife Kelly are amazing people. They took me in and never judged me. Mark and Kelly delivered the baby on Christmas Eve. A fine baby boy that looks just like his daddy. I have not named him as I wasn't sure until now what I needed to do. Mr. Johnson showed up in Fort Kearney looking for me. I couldn't risk the baby, Mark or Kelly. I packed up the baby and myself and we left._

_I came straight here and dropped off the baby. He will never be safe as long as Mr. Johnson is after me. Please take care of him as he is your son. He is a good baby who doesn't cry or fuss too much. Don't worry about me. I am forever thankful and grateful for all you did for me. _

_I hope you can forgive me someday for not telling you or coming to you sooner. I never meant to get pregnant but I know he is a blessing not a curse. I hope one day I can return and see him. I know that you and Louise will raise him well. If you have any questions or needs, or if you decide not to raise him, please take him to Fort Kearney to Mark and Kelly or to Cheyenne to Valerie and Layton. _

_ With Love and Affection,_

_ Hannah Tucker_

_P.S. If anything should happen to me, please know it was Mr. Ben Johnson that either did it or made it happen._

Buck stood there, stunned. He couldn't believe this was happening. A soft sneeze from under the blanket brought him back to reality. He unfolded the blanket and looked at the small replica of himself. The baby was a beautiful bronzed color with soft features. His head was full of black hair. Buck was in awe. It was like his soul was now put back together. He realized that this had been what he was feeling. This was his son and they were connected. Buck folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. Tears fell from his eyes as he ran his finger gently across the baby's cheek. He was so full of emotion he didn't hear Louise come down the stairs.

"What's this?" Louise said as she finished pulling her hair up in a ponytail. Buck looked over at her. She could see he was crying. She became concerned. As she walked over to him, "Hey. Hey, what's wrong?"

Buck wiped his eyes and looked at Louise. She was getting nervous. Buck wasn't sure how to tell her this information. How would she take it? What would happen to them? He loved Louise more than anything, but now he had a son. What would happen now?

"Uhm . . . Louise. I . . . uh . . . found this basket on the porch this morning. And uhm . . ." Buck was trying to say.

"Oh for goodness sakes Buck." Louise said as she pulled the blanket off. She stopped suddenly as the sight before both excited, confused, angered, and terrified her all at the same time. There was a baby. In the basket. Who's baby was it? Why was it here? Why was Buck crying? "Buck, that's a baby."

"Yes Lou. Uhm, the baby. . . is . . ." Buck stopped and took a deep breath. "The baby is mine."

Lou jerked her head up and looked at him. She knew Buck would only ever tell the truth. She took a step back and put her hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Had he cheated on her? How? How was this possible?

"Louise, please. Just listen." Buck said. He went to take a step towards her. She just looked at him. Just then Jeremiah came barreling through the door.

"Buck, come quick! One of the mares is trying to foal early and it doesn't look good." Jeremiah said breathlessly. He ran back out and went back to the barn.

"I'll be right back. Please let's just talk about this." Buck said as he headed out the door. Louise took a few minutes to collect herself. She then went around the table and into the kitchen to start breakfast. After about 20 minutes, Teresa made her way down the stairs. She stopped at the basket and looked inside. She squealed when she saw the baby. She saw the envelope and picked it up. Teresa read the letter. She couldn't believe it. This was Buck's baby. The baby whimpered and began to stir.

Teresa picked up the baby and began to soothe him. He quickly calmed in her arms as she spoke softly to him. She saw the resemblance between Buck and the baby. A few minutes went by and Louise came out into the dining room. She wondered why Teresa hadn't come and helped her with breakfast. She hoped that Teresa wasn't getting sick. Louise stopped suddenly when she saw Teresa speaking softly to the baby.

"What are you doing Teresa?" Louise asked. Teresa turned around. Louise could now see the baby and instantly knew that the baby was Buck's. The baby was gorgeous. Louise was so torn in that instant. A part of her want to take the baby and love on him. The other part wanted to be mad and not touch the baby. She was supposed to give Buck his first child; his first son. Now, that was taken from her.

"I'm holding the baby Louise." Teresa said. She noticed the wheels in Lou's head turning. "Louise, don't. Don't you take this out on this baby. Buck obviously didn't know about this baby or he would have told you. You know that. Buck has never been anything but honest to all of us. Besides, this letter says it all. Now, I am going to make this little man a bottle." Teresa grabbed the bottle from the side of the basket and went to put milk in it. She came back through a few minutes later and went into the parlor. She sat down and began feeding the baby and softly singing a Kiowa lullaby. Louise just stood there with her mouth agape. She reached for the letter and read it. Her anger and jealousy quickly turned to sadness. Buck had missed out on even knowing about this baby until know. And this girl, Hannah, had no support except from the kind people she mentioned.

Louise folded the letter again and put it back in the basket. She went into the kitchen and dished up the breakfast. Teresa came around the corner as she was finishing and poured herself a glass of milk. Louise went to her sister and hugged her.

"When did you become so wise?" Louise asked her. Teresa smiled.

"I get it from you." Teresa answered with a smile. "Where is everyone?"

"Jeremiah came in earlier and said one of the mares was trying to foal early. It didn't look good. So Buck followed him back out." Louise explained as she sat two plates on the stove and Teresa grabbed the other two. The girl went and sat down in the dining room and ate breakfast. The baby was sleeping soundly in his basket.

Teresa and Louise discussed working on some mending that day. Louise was still unsure about the baby but she wouldn't hold anything against the baby. She still needed to figure out what this meant between her husband and her.

About two hours later, Buck and Jeremiah both came in. Teresa ran upstairs to get them more clothes while Lou put some water on to heat up. Both men were covered with blood and dirt. Louise pulled out the small wash tub so they could at least bathe off. They men went into the mud room and bathed off and changed clothes. They came back out and went to the table where Teresa had put their plates and cups of coffee.

"Where's. . ." Buck began to ask. He then heard a cry. When he went to go to the baby, Teresa came around the corner holding him. She went into the kitchen and fixed him another bottle and come back out. She sat down at the table with the men and began feeding the baby. Louise sat down as well. Buck watched with admiration and love.

"So. . . what happened?" Louise asked. Jeremiah was still looking at his sister holding the baby. Buck looked over at Lou.

"We lost them both. It looks like the foal may not have developed right and that's what caused the miscarriage. We tried everything but there was nothing we could do." Buck said. He started eating his breakfast. Louise nodded her head in understanding.

"Okay, so is anyone going to tell me where the baby came from?" Jeremiah asked between forks of food.

"Well, Jeremiah, when a man and a woman love each other . . ." Teresa began. Buck spit out his coffee and Louise had to stifle a laugh.

"I KNOW THAT PART!" Jeremiah said. Louise now spit out her coffee and Buck just looked at him. "What. I know what happens behind closed doors."

"It better not be with Lydia Hickok if you want to live to see your wedding day." Louise said with a harsh tone.

"What Jimmy doesn't know won't hurt him." Jeremiah said. Louise, Buck and Teresa all got wide eyed. "I'M KIDDING! Gosh! I told you before Louise, knowing and doing are two different things. We are just fine with the way things are. We are waiting and that's that. I mean who's baby is this?"

"He's my baby." Buck said. Jeremiah looked at him and for a few moments the fire of anger flew through his eyes. Buck and Louise both noted the anger. "Jeremiah, your sister and I were not together when this baby was conceived. I would never hurt your sister like that."

Jeremiah softened. He knew that. The thought of Louise having to go through something else just bothered him so badly. She deserved happiness. Louise also softened at his words. Teresa burped the baby and then took him back into the parlor. She laid him down again in his basket and went back to help clean the dishes.

"Thank you Teresa for taking care of him. Louise, can we talk now." Buck asked. Jeremiah took his cue to leave and got up. He grabbed his hat and gun belt and headed out the door. Teresa finished up the dishes. Buck and Louise were still sitting at the table. Neither had spoken a word. Teresa told them she would take the baby upstairs and work on some mending. Buck thanked her again.

"Louise, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I can't imagine how you feel right now." Buck said slowly. Louise continued to look into her coffee cup. He reached over to take her hand. She allowed him to touch her hand but not hold it. "I told you about the girl I was with in Cheyenne. I told you that I didn't even know her name. I had no idea. . ."

"Did you love her?" Louise interrupted. Buck was shocked. Didn't she know that already.

"No. No, I did not love her. I have only loved you. She helped me to think things through. She was a great friend. We were intimate but not all the time and that wasn't the only thing between us. She and I became friends." Buck answered.

"Are you going to leave? Leave me and go be with her. Raise your son and have a happy life with her." Louise asked. The tears and anger and sadness not being held back anymore.

"No. I will not leave you. You are the one. My everything. I want to know my son and help raise him. I would like you to be by my side for that. I understand that this is a lot to take in. Hell, I don't know if I even understand it yet." Buck replied.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but someone is awake." Teresa said as she rounded the corner. She handed the baby to Buck who looked down into those hazel eyes. The only feature like mother. The baby cooed and awed at Buck. "I know this is between the two of you, but the way I see it is nothing has changed. No one has done anything wrong. And now, we have another member of the family. I love you little man."

Teresa walked off and went outside. Louise looked over at Buck. Buck was looking at her. She knew Teresa was right. She also knew it would take a little time to fully accept things. Louise got up and went on about her day. She fixed herself some lunch and Buck a light snack since he had breakfast late. Buck spent the day with his son. After dinner, Lou and Buck sat on the settee together. The baby in his basket at their feet. The pair had been silent most of the day. Buck not sure what to do to prove to Lou that he wasn't going to leave her; Louise not knowing if Buck was going to leave her.

They went to bed and Buck brought the basket with them. He knew he was going to have to make a crib and basinet. The baby couldn't live in the basket. They baby was good and only woke once during the night. Buck went and made the bottle and fed his son. After putting him back to bed, he crawled back into bed and snuggled up next to Lou.

The next morning, Buck was enjoying his coffee again. He had brought the baby with him downstairs. Louise and Teresa came down while Buck was feeding the baby. Suddenly, Jimmy came busting though the door.

"Buck, we need. . .what's this?" Jimmy said.

"It's my son. What's going on Jimmy. It was Jeremiah busting through the door yesterday and you today." Buck asked. Teresa came and took the baby from Buck.

"Well, we need you to help us. A woman was found dead just outside town." Jimmy said. Buck shook his head. He told Lou to be on alert. He went and got his gun belt and hat. The pair told Jeremiah and Ike as well. Teaspoon met them at the Marshal's office. They all rode out to where the girl was. They dismounted and tethered their horses. Teaspoon had driven the wagon out.

"She's not from around here. We don't know who she is." Teaspoon explained. The men came up on the body. The woman was beaten almost beyond recognition. Her arms were tied behind her. Her legs had been broken also. Her clothes were torn and tattered and she had obviously been raped and assaulted.

Buck began to survey the scene. He noted and relayed his findings of a strange shoe mark from a horse. It appeared to Buck to be three horses. She was just dumped there after they killed her. There was no blood to indicate she had died there.

They loaded her up onto the wagon. Once at the undertaker's office, Teaspoon let him know to call them when he got her cleaned up so they could see her face. The trio went back to the Marshal's office to write a report of the findings. They wrote out everything they had found. After a couple of hours, the undertaker came over and announced that he was finished and they could observe the body now. They walked back over to the undertakers office and went to the back. Buck gasp.

"Hannah. Oh my God!" Buck said. He went over to her side and picked up her hand. He couldn't believe this had happened. He wanted to talk with her one more time. To tell her thank you for bringing him his son. Thank you for her kindness, understanding and caring. Thank you for the hours of just listening to him talk and spill his heart out.

"Buck. Do you know this woman?" Teaspoon asked softly.

"Yes. She is from Cheyenne. I met her when I lived there. She was a barmaid in the saloon. We had . . . an arrangement. I didn't know her name until yesterday. She. . . her name is . . . Hannah. Hannah Tucker." Buck said.

29


	15. By Your Side

**A/N: The same warnings and copyright bull stuff apply. Thank you to everyone for hanging in there with me. I have started writing a few other things so hopefully you will see more! ENjoy!**

"You think I'd leave your side baby? You know me better than that. You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees? I wouldn't do that." ~ Sade

Chapter 14

By Your Side

Rock Creek, Nebraska

March 1865

"Do we know what she was doing here in Rock Creek?" Teaspoon asked.

"She came to bring me my son." Buck answered. Teaspoon looked up at Buck.

"Your son?" Teaspoon said. Buck nodded his head yes.

"Can I have a moment alone. I know who did this. I will explain everything." Buck asked. Teaspoon nodded.

"Meet us back at the jail Buck." Jimmy said. The men turned and walked out.

Buck was still standing there, holding her hand. He never thought he would see her again much less like this. He was angry that this had happened to her. She didn't deserve this. No one did. She was beautiful and Buck had hoped that she had made it out of the bar life. Now, the bar life had killed her.

"Hannah, I'm so sorry. I wanted and hoped that you had gotten out. You deserved better than that life. I would have provided more if I had known. Thank you for bringing me our son. He is beautiful. He has your eyes. I will raise him and one day I will tell him how wonderful his mother was. Thank you for everything and I hope you have peace with your family now." Buck said. He kissed her hand and laid it back down beside her. He went out the door and walked over to the jail.

"Okay Buck. Start at the beginning." Teaspoon said. Buck poured himself some coffee and sat down opposite Jimmy and Teaspoon. He took a deep breath.

"Well, when I went to Cheyenne, the boys and I would go to the saloon on Saturday nights. One night I met a barmaid. She reminded me of Lou with her brown hair and her hazel eyes. She was petite and feisty. We made an arrangement. I was the only one she kept company with while serving the drinks only. We were intimate but not all the time. The night Jimmy showed up was the last night we were together. I didn't even know her name until yesterday. Yesterday morning, I found a basket on our porch with a baby in it." Buck stopped and took several deep breathes. Jimmy and Teaspoon just sat and listened. "There was an envelope in the basket. She said that the saloon she worked in had been bought and that she ran away. She said that if anything happened to her that a Mr. Ben Johnson was responsible or knew about it. He is the new saloon owner. I have the letter at home."

Teaspoon and Jimmy looked at each other. They could tell that the murder had affected Buck. More than usual. Buck just sat and stared into his coffee cup. After what seemed like hours, Buck got up and said he was going home and he would be back later to make arrangements for Hannah. Jimmy and Teaspoon both tipped their hats to him and watched him walk out the door.

"Lou! LOUISE! Are you home?" Buck called through the house. Louise came down the stairs quickly and saw that something was wrong. Buck closed the distance between them quickly and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Buck. Buck honey, what's wrong?" Louise asked.

"Hannah. My son's mother. She was the woman that was found murdered. I wanted so much better for her. I wanted to protect her like I wanted to protect you. I wished better for her. I would have helped her if I had known about the baby. This doesn't change anything about how I feel for you but I would have taken care of my son." Buck was crying into her neck now. Louise held him and ran her hands soothingly up and down his back. She gently said 'shhhh' and 'it's okay' to him. Eventually he pulled away and they went to sit on the settee.

"Buck, I understand. I just . . . I was afraid that you would leave me for her. To raise your son together. I'm sorry this happened. No one deserves what happened to her. I know you would have done whatever you needed to do to help her. I love you Buck." Louise said to him.

"I love you Lou. I always have. She knew all about you. She knew you held my heart and always would. I am forever grateful to her for my son and for the friendship we had. I . . . I need to go and make arrangements for her. She had no family." Buck said to Lou. Lou nodded in understanding. "Where is the baby?"

"Teresa has him." Louise answered. Buck was worried. What if Louise couldn't accept the baby.

"Okay. I need to get the letter she wrote and take it to Teaspoon." Buck said. He got up and went to find the envelope. Once he found it, he put on his hat and headed back out the door. Louise knew she needed to get a grip. Buck loved her. She knew that. She had to either accept this baby or move on. She knew she couldn't move on without Buck. The baby needed a mother now. Could she do it? Could she be a mother to a baby she didn't have? Why was this so hard?

Buck went to the jail and dropped off the letter. He then walked over to the undertaker and made arrangements for the burial the next day. When asked about the preacher and the cemetery, Buck stopped. He hadn't thought of that.

"She will be buried on the ranch. We have a family plot and she will be buried there. We will handle the service as well. Eleven o'clock should be fine. Here is a dress for her." Louise said from behind Buck. Buck was shocked. He didn't know she was there. Louise came in and handed the dress to the undertaker.

"Eleven it is then." Buck said to the man. He paid the undertaker for his services. Buck turned around and took Lou's hands in his. Tears fell from his eyes as he kissed the back of her hands. "Thank you. Thank you for being the most amazing person I have ever met."

Buck and Louise walked over to the Marshall's office. Teaspoon and Jimmy joined them for lunch at the hotel. They spoke of the arrangements and then Buck escorted Lou back to the ranch. Buck went off in search of Ike. They worked together that day in silence. Buck's mind in turmoil. Could Lou handle raising his child from another woman. As much as he loved Louise, he would take care of his son.

Buck thought about what if the tables were turned. What if Lou had never miscarried that baby? Would he be able to raise another man's child? He never even thought about that. He was asking Lou to do something that he wasn't even sure he could do himself.

The next day, the family gathered at the cemetery and had a small service for Hannah. Buck ordered a stone to be put up. He was solemn and quiet. He wanted justice for Hannah. The man or men who did this would pay for their acts. Buck spent the rest of the day with his son. He walked him around the ranch and showed him the horses. The baby was only a couple of months old but he was looking around and paying attention.

Meanwhile, Ben Johnson and his goons enjoyed several bottles at their camp. The laughed and talked about how much fun they had with 'the whore' and 'the bitch'. They talked about how she had learned her lesson. They would head out in a couple of day to go back to Cheyenne.

While in town the next day, Ben Johnson got wind of the murder and the fact that someone claimed her body. Ben wanted to know who. Maybe he could get more money out of this 'family'. She owed him after all.

While leaving Thompkin's store, Ben overheard two men talking. They mentioned that someone named Buck had known Hannah while in Cheyenne. She ran away when she realized she was pregnant and had left the baby with Buck. Ben figured whoever this Buck was; he may be willing to pay. Ben walked into the saloon. He stood at the bar and waited for the bartender to serve him.

"What'll ya have?" the bartender asked.

"Whiskey straight." Ben said to the bartender. The bar tender poured the drink. "Say, you don't happen to know a fellow by the name of Buck do you?"

"Yeah. Buck Cross. He's one of the owner's of the Bar PXF Ranch. Just down at the end of the road. Married to another owner Louise. Best stock in the territory. Why?" the bartender asked.

"Oh! Well, I am looking to get some horses and my friend told me to look up Buck here in Rock Creek. That explains why. Great. Thanks so much." Ben Johnson explained. He would check out this Buck Cross and get what was owed to him.

Over the next couple of weeks, Ben and his goons surveyed the ranch. They plotted their revenge. Very soon.

Everything at the ranch was going well. The baby was growing and spending more time with the whole family. Louise was still unsure. Although when they were alone, Louise would cuddle the baby. Buck felt feelings of being watched. He had sent a telegram to Travis Burch telling him about Hannah's death and to alert them if Ben Johnson showed back up in town.

Truth was Louise had fallen in love with the baby. She thought about the whole situation. She would hope that if she had had Kid's baby, that Buck would have loved and cared for that baby as well. Buck and Hannah were together when they were not. He had not cheated on her or been unfaithful. She couldn't blame him. She knew Buck loved her. Hell, he loved her every night. Their sex life was amazing.

Ben Johnson had a plan. He had a plan to get his revenge. He would be ready to execute his plan soon. He would bide his time. Two weeks time to be exact.

"Hey Jeremiah, Buck. . . You guys want to join us for dinner tonight. The whole family is coming." Ike said nervously. Buck and Jeremiah looked at him confused.

"Uh, Louise said something about coming over for dinner tonight. Ike, are you alright?" Buck asked his friend. Ike was grinning and nodded his head yes. "Uhm, alright. We will see you soon okay."

Ike headed back to his house. Jeremiah went to get cleaned up. Buck walked up to the Big House. Louise was fixing some biscuits to take over to Ike and Emily's house. Buck went over and kissed his wife. Passionately. After a few minutes, Buck pulled away and went to get cleaned up. Louise came up and said she was going to pull the clothes off the line. Buck got dressed and then went in to change the baby's diaper. Once he had the baby dressed, he took him downstairs. Teresa came downstairs dressed as well.

"Lou, honey, we are going to be late." Buck called out. He asked Teresa to watch the baby and he went to look for Louise. He couldn't find her. As he was coming around to the back of the house, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye.

Louise went back downstairs. She grabbed the basket and went out to collect the laundry. She was giddy and excited. She figured she knew what was going on. As she took down the last piece on the line, she felt a hand cover her mouth. Another hand went around her waist. As she was dragged off towards the barn, she stumbled. The man promptly kicked her in the side. Louise gasp as the air was knocked out of her. He kicked her again. And again. The last kick landed to her head. The man picked her up by the hair of her head and began to drag her.

Buck saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look and see what had caught his attention. He saw a man pulling up an unconscious Louise by her hair.

Jimmy came in the front door. He asked Teresa where Buck and Lou were. Teresa told him that Lou had gone to pull down the laundry. Buck had gone to see what was taking her so long. Jimmy headed towards the back of the house.

Jeremiah and Lydia arrived at The Manor. Teaspoon, Rachel and Amanda were already there. Ike and Emily asked where the rest were. Amanda told them that Jimmy and gone over to see what was going on. Jeremiah and Ike decided to go and take a look for themselves. They both headed over to The Big House coming in from the back.

"LET GO OF MY WIFE!" Buck yelled at the man as he drug Louise. Buck started towards the man. The man pulled his gun and fired. The shot landed in front of Bucks feet. "Who are you? What do you want?"

"Oh. I'm sorry. Is this your woman?" The man said with a chuckle.

"That's my wife. Let her go . . . now." Buck said as calmly as he could. He knew he was outnumbered. He didn't have his gun or knife on him.

"Sorry. I can't do that. You see you took one of my girls. So I am taking yours. A whore for a whore." The man said. The anger flared in Bucks eyes.

"Johnson." Buck growled at the man in front of him. The man threw his head back and laughed. Buck took a step forward and the man shot again, missing Buck by mere inches. Buck stopped.

"That's right half breed. You took one of my whores. She learned her lesson though. This whore will do nicely. See, I'm a business man. And if I have no product then I get no profit." Johnson said to Buck. Jimmy came around the corner at that time. In time to see Johnson drag Lou back a few steps. Jimmy could see that Lou was unconscious.

"Don't do it." Jimmy said as he drew his famous pearl handled colt from its holster. He slowly walked up behind Buck. "You know who I am don't you?"

"Wellllll, lookie here! I even get the famous Wild Bill Hickok too. Now what's it to ya Wild Bill?" Johnson asked with a sneer.

"This has nothing to do with my wife. Let her go and we can talk like men." Buck said as calmly as he could. His rage was building inside him and he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep control.

"Men. MEN! You are a half breed, not a man. Nah! I think I will take what is owed to me and go on my way." Johnson said. He started backing away and dragging Lou with him. He stopped when he heard the cocking of a gun.

"Going somewhere?" Jeremiah said. Johnson didn't move. "That's my sister. And if you move one more inch, it will be your last. Now, lower her to the ground, nice and slow."

Johnson slowly began to lower Louise to the ground. Suddenly, he called Jeremiah on his threat. He turned to shot Louise when four bullets struck him. The chest from Jeremiah, the left shoulder from Ike, the right shoulder from Jimmy, and the back from Teaspoon. He dropped to the ground.

"Come on, he's got two more with him. Let's go." Teaspoon hollered. Jeremiah, Ike and Jimmy all took off in the direction of the tracks. Buck ran to Louise. He brushed the hair from her face.

"Louise. Louise baby. Can you hear me? Honey, please wake up." Buck said. He lifted her into his arms and carried her into the house. Teresa had heard the gunshots and had hidden with the baby in the small closet under the staircase. She heard Buck come in and tell Louise to wake up. She came out from her hiding spot and put the sleeping baby in his basket. Just then, in came Amanda, Rachel, Lydia and Emily.

"We heard gunshots and saw the boys run into the woods. What's going on?" Amanda asked. Emily came over and took the baby into her arms.

"I don't know. I heard shouting so I hid with the baby under the stairs. I just came out when I heard Buck telling Louise to wake up." Teresa explained. Amanda and Rachel ran upstairs. They opened the door to the master bedroom and found Buck holding Lou's hand.

"Buck. Buck honey. What happened?" Rachel asked.

"That bastard. He killed Hannah. He was going to take Louise back to be a whore or kill her." Buck said angrily. The women gasp. Rachel went and pulled out a fresh night gown.

"Buck. BUCK!" Rachel said getting his attention. Buck looked at the woman that the all loved as a big sister. "Go and talk to Teresa. She is scared to death. Let us get Louise cleaned up and changed."

Buck nodded and headed out the door. The women washed Lou and changed her into the nightgown. Buck went downstairs and found Teresa crying into Emily's shoulder while Emily held the baby.

"Teresa. Syân já̱. You protected my baby. Thank you. I love you so much Syân já̱." Buck said while he pulled her to him and hugged her. She was fifteen years old. However, she was wiser and mature beyond her years. She was about to graduate. She had been accepted to the same teaching program that Lydia had gone through. She was excited and happy to be traveling in a few months to the Kiowa village with Buck, Louise, and the baby. Buck was in awe of her.

"I love you Buck. You are so good to us. You saved Louise." Teresa said.

"Buck, what happened?" Emily asked. She was still holding the baby.

"The man that killed Hannah. That was him. He said I owed him. Since I took Hannah away he was taking Louise. He had beat her up. Jimmy came up behind me. Jeremiah and Ike came up behind him. They plus Teaspoon shot him as he went to shoot Lou. They went to track the others that were with him." Buck said to the ladies. Just then the door opened and in walked Ike, Jimmy, Teaspoon, and Jeremiah. "What happened?"

"We caught them. They're in jail. The undertaker has the body. How's Lou?" Teaspoon said. Buck turned and hugged the men.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything. All of you. Ike, Emily, I'm so sorry we ruined your evening." Buck said.

"Non-sense Buck. We can simply move the dinner to another night." Emily said.

"Em, are you sure?" Buck asked. As Emily nodded her head yes with a smile, Buck reached out and hugged her; Careful not to hurt the baby.

"I'm going to go check on Lou." Buck said as he went back upstairs. He entered his bedroom and went to sit next to Louise. As Rachel and Amanda turned to give them some time, Louise fluttered her eyes open.

"Louise. Baby." Buck said to her with hope in his voice. Lou looked at him and smiled. Rachel and Amanda turned around and smiled. Suddenly the memories flooded Lou's mind and there was only one thing she could think of.

"My BABY! BUCK! WHERE'S MY BABY?" Louise began to yell. "BUCK, YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW!"

"Baby? Louise?" Buck said confused.

"OUR BABY BUCK. WHERE IS HE?" Louise gasp. She wasn't giving up. "He was in here. With Teresa. Buck! TELL ME HE'S ALRIGHT. I CAN'T LIVE THROUGH THAT AGAIN."

"Hold on Lou . . ." Buck said. He realized she was talking about his son. He ran downstairs still in disbelief.

"Em, can I take him?" Buck said reaching for his son. Emily nodded yes and handed the baby to Buck. The baby began to coo and babble. Buck smiled and headed back up the stairs. He went back into their room and sat down next to Lou.

"Here he is Louise. He's fine." Buck said. Lou reached out and took the baby. He continued to babble and coo. Lou kissed his forehead and looked down at him.

"I love you little man. I'm so glad you're here." Louise said to the baby. Rachel and Amanda both gasp. Buck felt the tears roll down his cheeks.

"Louise . . ." Buck started to say. He could barely control his emotions.

"Buck, he is our son. I know that Hannah may have carried him and given him life, but now, he needs his father and a mother. I want to be that mother. And when he gets older, we will tell him how his birth mother died to save him." Louise said. She began to cry and Buck leaned in to kiss her.

This woman loved him. This woman loved his son. She was going to raise his son as her own. He loved her so much. She chose him. He would never be able to understand why the Gods were favoring him.

When Buck pulled back, Louise smiled through the bruises on her face. She was beautiful. This was his forever. The love of his life. He closed his eyes and held her hand. He gave a prayer of thanks for his life and family. He also gave a prayer of peace for Hannah, thanking her for his son and showing him how to get justice.

"Louise, I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share this life with you." Buck said as he kissed her again. Louise smiled. Buck reached for the baby. "Get some rest honey. I love you."

"I love you too." Louise said as she settled back into the bed. Buck placed the baby in his crib next to the bed. He went back downstairs. The family were all sitting in the living room. Buck let them know Louise was okay and thanked them all again for their help.

All of the couples headed to their houses. Jeremiah escorted Lydia back to her place. Lydia asked him to join her for a cup of hot cocoa and cake. Jeremiah sat down at the table while Lydia prepared the drinks and plates. He had put his hat and gun belt on the coat rack by the door.

Lydia and Jeremiah enjoyed their dessert and cocoa. Jeremiah noticed that Lydia seemed distracted. He was trying to figure out what was wrong while Lydia went and changed into her nightdress and pulled on her robe.

"Lydi, baby. Tell me what's bothering you." Jeremiah said. He reached out and took her hand in his. He was starting to worry.

"It's . . . it's nothing." Lydia said. Jeremiah got up and came around the table. He took her hand and led her to the couch in her living room. Lydia sat down and Jeremiah sat beside her. He put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. Lydia rested her head on his chest.

"Lydia, please. Please tell me what's wrong." Jeremiah asked softly.

"I just . . . worry. I get scared. I know my brother has stared down gunfighters and been called out. He's been with all of them helping out in posse's. He's been a deputy marshal for years. But, now, I have you. I love you so much." Lydia said as her tears began to cloud her eyes. "I don't want to lose you. That man could've shot any of you."

"Yes. He could have. He tried to kidnap or kill my sister. I wasn't going to allow him to do either. I love you . . . so much more than you know." Jeremiah said softly. "I promise that I will never do anything stupid. You won't lose me."

Lydia looked up into his eyes. He took his left hand gently cupped her face. His thumb brushing away her tears. He gently pulled her closer to him and kissed her. Softly. Tenderly. Lydia turned and put her arm around him. She never wanted to be apart from him. As she opened her mouth to accept his tongue, Lydia moaned. She wanted more.

Lydia surprised Jeremiah by straddling his lap, continuing to kiss him. Now it was Jeremiah's turn to moan. He reached up and pulled the pins out holding her hair up. Her dirty blonde hair tumbled down her back like waves on the shore. Jeremiah began kissing along her jaw line. Lydia threw her head back, basking in the warmth and fire that she felt. He kissed down her neck. His hands began to travel up her thighs, under her night dress. Jeremiah grabbed her around the waist and stood up.

He reached her bedroom and let her slide down his body. She could feel his swelling manhood as she slid down. He pulled the ties on her robe and pushed the robe down as he kissed her. He began to trail kisses down her jaw and neck while reaching down and grabbing the waist of her night gown. He pulled the night gown over her head and threw it aside. He pulled her back to him as his hands found her breasts and squeezed them. Lydia moaned as she began to unbutton his shirt. She quickly pushed the shirt to the floor. She grabbed his long john top and pulled it over his head, throwing it to the floor as well. Lydia reached down and unbuckled his belt. Jeremiah began to kiss her lips again. Moaning into her mouth at the thought of her touching him. Lydia went for the buttons on his pants. Jeremiah pulled away from her.

"Are you sure Lydi?" Jeremiah asked. Lydia began her task again.

"Yes. I am sure." Lydia said barely above a whisper. She had his pants unbuttoned when Jeremiah began to lower himself. He kissed down her neck and across her breasts. He knelt down and kissed her stomach. He pulled down her drawers and helped her step out of them.

Jeremiah stood back up and leaned in. Lydia climbed back onto the bed and rested her head on the pillows. Jeremiah shrugged off his pants and his long johns. He climbed onto the bed and hovered over her. He leaned in to kiss her again. He moved to feast on her right breast. Lydia moaned and gasp at the sensations. He grazed his teeth along her nipple. He then moved to the left breast. As he suckled and nibbled on her nipple, he slowly slid his hand down her abdomen. He reached her sacred place and gently ran his fingertips along her seam. He looked up into her face to seek permission. Lydia gasp and muttered a 'don't stop' that gave Jeremiah all the courage he needed.

Jeremiah slipped his fingers inside her feminine lips. He felt the satin and silk that was hidden under those lips. He used his fingertips to message her feminine. Lydia gripped the sheets and began gasping and moaning. Jeremiah knew she was enjoying his explorations.

He was inexperienced. He had never touched a woman, much less like this. He hoped he was doing this right. Lydia threw her head back exposing her neck. Jeremiah began kissing her neck. He continued to suck her breasts. He would kiss her occasionally. He wanted to bring her the most pleasure he could. He knew the basics of sex . . . and he knew what his natural instincts were telling him. He went further down with his fingers and found her womanhood. He slipped his finger inside gently. Lydia gasp again, loudly.

Lydia had no idea this kind of pleasure was possible. She had never known the touch of a man. She had also never touched a man. The pleasure was constant. The sensations were exquisite. The intensity was building. She was getting higher and higher. She gripped the sheets so tight she thought she would rip them. . . and she didn't care. Then, she felt some pleasurable discomfort as Jeremiah slid his finger inside her.

He continued to message and also wiggle his finger inside her. Soon he felt Lydia tighten around his finger as she called out 'Jeremiah, Oh GOD!'. Jeremiah looked into her eyes and saw the smile on her lips as she tried to get her breathing under control. Jeremiah kissed her passionately.

Lydia was smiling. She was so high from the orgasm that Jeremiah had just given her. She wanted to do some exploring of her own. As Jeremiah kissed her passionately, she reached down and wrapped her hand around Jeremiah's engorged manhood. She began to caress and rub him.

Jeremiah couldn't believe that she was touching him. Rubbing him. He drew in a sharp breath as she started applying light pressure while rubbing him. He was getting high. High off of her.

Lydia used her body to push him over to his back. Jeremiah threw his head back into the pillows as Lydia straddled him. Lydia looked into his eyes and saw the love and desire he felt. She leaned down and kissed him. He moaned into her mouth. Lydia began to trail kisses down his chest. Mimicking his actions by sucking on his nipple. He was rock solid muscle. His muscles well toned and defined. She took her tongue and ran it down the middle of his chest and abdomen as she moved down his body. Jeremiah spread his legs to give her more room.

Lydia settled between his legs. She looked down and saw the long, wide, smooth maleness in front of her. Her eyes widened at the sight. She had never laid eyes on a naked man but she was sure that Jeremiah was a large man. She couldn't image that inside her. But she was also excited at the sight. The thought of him being inside her made her moan as she began to stroke him. Jeremiah began to moan. He bit his bottom lip to keep from calling out.

Lydia suddenly felt brave. As Jeremiah called out an 'Oh Lydia' she lowered her head and licked him. Jeremiah jerked at the sensation. He rolled his eyes back in his head as she lowered her mouth down onto him. She began to suck and use her tongue to lick him. Jeremiah couldn't control himself and began gently moving in and out of mouth. Lydia followed his lead and began to bob her head up and down.

Jeremiah was speechless. He wanted to tell her how amazing she was making him feel but couldn't. He was awash with pleasure, heat, fire, and want. Lydia continued to bob her head up and down. She was stroking the part she couldn't get in her mouth. All Jeremiah could mutter was an occasional 'oh shit!' and 'oh God!'.

"Lydi, baby, I'm . . . I'm. . ." Jeremiah tried to say. Lydia just kept on with her mission. Then, Jeremiah exploded into her mouth. Lydia stilled and took it all in. She swallowed and then looked at Jeremiah. He was panting and grinning like the cat that ate the cream. She moved over to lay beside him. Jeremiah rolled over on his side and slightly leaned into her. He captured her lips in sweet passionate kiss. When he pulled away, Lydia was smiling as big as he was. "You. You are amazing. You are so. . . so beautiful. You didn't have to do that you know."

"I know. But I . . . I wanted to. I wanted you to feel what I had felt. If what I did to you felt anything like what you did to me, you deserve to feel that." Lydia said softly. She was so content. She had no idea that the pleasure was part of it. She had heard stories of sex being 'your wifely duty' and 'just a part of marriage'. She didn't know sex could be so wonderful. That pleasure could be felt from both people. A physical declaration of love. "Jeremiah, uh. . ."

"What is it honey?" Jeremiah said softly. He ran his fingers down her arm, ghosting his fingertips. Lydia lowered her eyes. Jeremiah got nervous. "Hey. You can ask me anything. You can tell me anything. I love you. Did I . . . I . . . I do something wrong?"

"No! No. Not at all. But . . ." Lydia said to him. She was trying to put into words what she wanted to say. She loved him. More than anything. "I love you too Jeremiah. But . . . I . . . I don't want to . . . go any further. Not tonight."

Lydia looked into his eyes. She was expecting to see anger or hurt or something. She wasn't expecting what she saw. In his eyes were love and tenderness. Care and passion.

"Baby, I don't want to do anything else either. I think we should wait. I . . . I am glad you are not mad for what we did do." Jeremiah said. He was now in a better frame of mind and realized that things could've gotten way more out of control. They almost had sex. He wasn't ready for that step. Not yet. He respected her and his family. This was Lydia and he. They both needed to be ready.

"I am not sorry for anything we did tonight. I just am not ready for the rest yet." Lydia said. Jeremiah leaned in and kissed her.

"I understand. I love you Lydia Margaret Hickok. I will love you until the day I die." Jeremiah said softly. He kissed her again and realized her eyes were getting heavy. She rolled over a little more on her stomach. Jeremiah rubbed her back until her breathing even out and he knew she was sleeping. He got up and got dressed again. With a last kiss, he covered her up with her blanket. He left her a note on the table thanking her for their beautiful evening. He made sure the door was locked as he left and headed back to the ranch.

The next day found Louise feeling slightly better but much more sore. Buck made sure that she had everything she needed before heading out for morning chores. Rachel came over to watch the baby and keep Louise company.

A few days past and they families decided to try the dinner again. This time everyone made it to Ike and Emily's house. The dinner was joyous and festive. Finally, when everyone had their coffee and desserts, Ike and Emily stood up.

"Well, we gathered everyone here for an announcement. I hope everyone will be excited." Ike said to everyone.

"Well spit it out Ike!" Jimmy said with a mock irritation. The group began to laugh.

"Well, Emily. Tell them." Ike said as he kissed his wife.

"We are . . . PREGNANT!" Emily squealed out. Everyone gasp and began cheering. The ladies all stood up and fawned over the mother to be. The men all shook Ike's hand. Things were going well. All the men loved their wives that night. The news of new life was uplifting.

March turned into April. Rachel surprised everyone, including Teaspoon, when she announced that she was also expecting. The men all clapped Teaspoon on the back. The ladies were all fawning over the new babies coming.

Buck made arrangements to go to the village. He, Louise, the baby, and Teresa all headed for the village. Buck beamed with pride as Louise made sure the sling for the baby was secure enough. She had taken a sheet and wrapped it around her to cradle the baby in front of her. Buck handed her the baby and she tucked him in. Buck then mounted his horse.

The group made good time getting to the village. When they got close, Buck had them stop. He dismounted and took off his shirt and vest. He also removed his gun and put them all in his saddle bag. He knew the sentry's were watching them.

Louise looked at her husband. He was gorgeous. He was hers. He spent every night showing Louise his love and keeping them both satisfied. Lately, though, something had been off when they made love. Things were different. Like the couple wasn't in sync with each other. Sure they more than satisfied each other, but it was different. Louise had chosen to wear one of the doeskin dresses that she had made last time they were there. Teresa was also wearing a doeskin dress. She also had on the bracelet Buck had made her with his family markings.

They trotted out to the middle of a field. Buck was approached by the sentry's. One recognized him immediately. Tall Oak reached out to shake hands with Buck. Two other sentry's came forward.

"Tall Oak, you remember White Fire and Little Star. White Fire is my wife now." Buck spoke in Kiowa. Tall Oak congratulated the couple.

"This is Howling Wolf and Two Elms. They have just passed their Warrior Trials." Tall Oak introduced the young men. Howling Wolf came closer to Teresa. He looked her up and down, making Teresa extremely nervous. Louise watched and was about to say something when Buck beat her to it.

"Little Star has been promised to Red Hawk. For two summers. She is his. Besides, it is rude to look upon another warrior's family member as you are doing. She is my sister and I will protect her in the ways of the Tdien-Pei-Gah." Buck said strongly and firmly. He looked to Louise to let her know he was handling it. Howling Wolf looked at Buck who was looking him square in the eye.

"Stupid boy. You know better than to cross a warrior. Especially one of the Tdien-Pei-Gah. Now, go ahead and tell Chief Red Bear that we are on our way." Tall Oak scolded. Howling Wolf and Two Elms turned their horses and headed into the village.

"I apologize Little Star for Howling Wolf's rudeness. Come Running Buck. Chief Red Bear will happy to see you." Tall Oak said to the group. They all turned their horses and headed for the village. Once they entered the village proper, they all dismounted their horses. Red Bear came walking over with a little boy by his side. They were both smiling.

Buck smiled and went to hug his brother. Lou and Teresa came over as well. After Red Bear hugged Buck, he reached out and pulled Louise in for a hug.

"I am happy to see again White Fire. And what is this? Or should I say who is this?" Red Bear said as he pulled out of the embrace. He had felt the bundle that was the baby. Louise smiled and unwrapped the sling. She pulled out the beautiful bronzed baby boy. His black hair was growing out nicely. He had hazel eyes just like Hannah. That was the only feature like her.

"Red Bear, this is my son. When we have time to talk I will explain a few things." Buck answered. Louise was cuddling the baby. He couldn't help but smile at the scene. He then noticed Teresa. "Little Star, are you alright?"

Louise looked up to see Teresa looking around nervously. She was fidgeting with her hands and appeared anxious. Red Bear also noticed.

"It is good to see also Little Star. Red Hawk has been striving to become the warrior you deserve." Red Bear said. Teresa hugged him back. "Tell me, what has you so upset?"

"Uhm . . ." Teresa began to say. She looked at Buck for reassurance.

"One of the young sentry's approached her. He got a little too close to her for my liking. He didn't say or do anything, however he looked at Teresa like he wanted her for himself. I told him that Little Star was already promised to Red Hawk and had been for two summers. He continued to look at her so I told him that he was being rude looking at another warriors family member the way he was. And that I will protect her in the ways of the Tdien-Pei-Gah." Buck explained. Red Bear squared his jaw. He did not abide by disrespect.

"I am sorry Little Star. It will be dealt with." Red Bear said to her.

"Is that. . . Is that Gray Fox?" Louise asked. Red Bear picked up his two year old son with pride. The boy looked at the strangers and smiled. "He's gotten so big! How are the girls and Dancing Spirit?"

"They are all very well. Come, let us sit and enjoy company." Red Bear said. He led them back to his dwelling. Once they were inside, Dancing Spirit and Louise hugged for a few minutes. Red Flower and Yellow Rabbit soon appeared, having heard of their uncle's arrival. Teresa and the girls all hugged and stepped out in front of the dwelling to talk.

"Father, may us girls have our own dwelling? Please? We can place it between our dwelling and Uncle's. Please?" Red Flower asked. She was also fifteen like Teresa. Yellow Rabbit was twelve. The girls looked so excited to possibly be able to stay in their own dwelling. "Please father? Uncle, what do you think?"

"I . . . uh. . . I actually think it's a great idea. You girls could have a sleepover. You would be close to Red Bear and me. I am okay with it." Buck said. The girls beamed. "White Fire, what do you think?"

Red Bear took note of how Buck made the decision but still asked White Fire. He was amused. He knew there was much to talk about.

"I agree. I see nothing wrong with it as long as they are between us." Louise answered. Teresa ran and hugged them both. Red Bear smiled. Louise was being very attentive to the baby.

"Well, I guess it's alright." Red Bear agreed. The girls all squealed and hugged Red Bear.

"Come on Little Star, let's go set up our dwelling!" Red Flower said excited. All the girls left and went to put together their dwelling that they would share for the next month.

"Running Buck, I will have your dwelling set up while we talk. There is much to discuss." Red Bear said. He then disappeared out of the dwelling. Dancing Spirit looked at the baby Lou was holding.

"Dancing Spirit, would you like to hold him?" Louise asked. Dancing Spirit answered yes and Louise passed her the baby. Buck reached over and held her hand. Dancing Spirit played and cooed with the baby.

"He looks just like you Running Buck." Dancing Spirit said with a smile. Buck beamed with pride. Red Bear came back a few minutes later and sat down with them.

"The girls have almost finished their dwelling. So, Running Buck, it has been two years since we have seen you. How have things been?" Red Bear asked. He knew there was much to be discussed.

"Well, after we left here last time, things were great. Until one night, White Fire and I had an argument. You all know how we felt about each other, but, we couldn't be together. I left the ranch and went west to Cheyenne. I worked on ranch there. I . . . I met a woman who worked in the saloon. She reminded me of White Fire." Buck explained.

"What is this saloon?" Red Bear asked.

"It's a place to go and drink, play cards . . . and if you can pay for it, you can take a woman to bed. You can pay for her time." Buck explained. Red Bear looked at his brother. A stern look across his face.

"And why were you there? Did they not throw you out because you are Kiowa?" Red Bear asked.

"No. They didn't care. There were some really good, decent people in Cheyenne. My employers were some of them. Anyways, I went with the men I worked with. I would drink sarsaparilla and we would play cards. Until I saw Hannah. She looked so much like White Fire. I wanted to protect her. She wasn't one of the women who took men upstairs. But she and I, we . . . uh . . . we had an . . . arrangement." Buck said. Lou just sat there and listened. Dancing Spirit was still holding the baby. Red Bear was still looking sternly at his brother.

"You took her." Red Bear replied.

"Not like that. She and I became friends. She knew all about Louise. I never made her any promises. One evening, I went to play cards with the guys. Jimmy came into the saloon. I went up to him and he told me that White Fire's husband had died in the war. I decided to come back to the ranch." Buck explained. Louise took his hand in hers. Red Bear noticed the simple gesture. "I went back home to the ranch. White Fire and I have been together ever since. We got married back in December. White Fire is my wife according to the white man's laws."

"I am happy for you brother. When did you have this little one White Fire?" Red Bear asked. Louise let a tear slip from her eye. Buck squeezed her hand.

"White Fire is his mother in every way but blood. Hannah, the woman I had the arrangement with, gave birth to him. She escaped a cruel man who killed her when he caught up with her. I didn't know that she was pregnant when I left. In fact, I think the night before I left is when she got pregnant. She brought him to me at the ranch and left him in my care. She left a letter saying that he was born on Christmas Day. She was in trouble and wanted him to be safe. He is three moons now. The man who killed Hannah tried to kidnap and kill White Fire." Buck said. He choked up on the emotion thinking how close he came to losing his wife. "White Fire is his mother now."

"I see. So much has happened since you left here the last time. I knew you had left the ranch. Red Hawk told me upon his return. He told me of how sad White Fire and Little Star were without you there. White Fire, thank you for taking care of Red Hawk and protecting him. For teaching him all that you know. He has made great strides since returning. He successfully negotiated with some settlers in a nearby town. Explaining the land boundaries. The settlers promised not to hunt on our land but asked to use some for farming. We agreed. We trade meat and furs for vegetables with them. They are fair and honest people." Red Bear said to the family.

"I am so glad that he learned so much. He was a tremendous help to us." Louise said to Red Bear. The baby started to cry so Louise made him a bottle and fed him. Buck rubbed the baby's head and kissed him softly.

"What else brings you for a visit Running Buck?" Red Bear asked.

"I would like to marry White Fire according to the traditions of our people. Also, the baby doesn't have a name. I would like to give him a name during a traditional naming ceremony. Please brother." Buck asked. He knew his brother wouldn't mind but he wanted to be sure. He didn't want to overstep his boundaries.

"Running Buck, you are a proud warrior of the Tdien-Pei-Gah. The highest warrior society of our people. I am proud of you my brother. You were dishonorable by taking the woman. She was not your slave or wife or captive. I am proud though that you redeemed yourself with the woman you love. You are raising a child together. You shall have the wedding a warrior deserves. You will marry the woman of your dreams. Your son will have a strong name with our family markings visible for all to see." Red Bear said to his brother and his wife. Buck and Louise beamed. They were very excited. Red Bear let them know they would plan the festivities. Louise got up to go and check on Teresa.

The girls had their dwelling all finished and had their bedding ready. They were excited to get to have their own space. The day went on and every one settled into life in the village again.

"Uncle Red Bear, I haven't seen Red Hawk." Teresa said to Red Bear that night at supper.

"He is out on a vision quest. He felt the need to complete one so I granted him his request. He should be back soon." Red Bear answered.

"Yes sir. White Fire, Red Flower and Yellow Rabbit and I would like to go to the river tomorrow to look for flowers and swim. Would that be alright?" Teresa asked her sister.

"Sure Little Star, after your chores are finished." Louise said to the girls. After supper, the girls retired to their dwelling. They spent the rest of the evening laughing and planning their day the next day.

Buck and Lou went to their dwelling with the baby. Louise gave the baby his last bottle and put him to sleep in the little cradle that used to belong to Gray Fox. Buck took off his clothes down to his long johns and climbed under the fur cover. He laid on his side and put his head in his hand. His left arm bent at the elbow. He watched Louise put the baby down.

She pulled off her doe skin dress. She had on a chemise and drawers. Buck watched her undress and felt himself becoming aroused. Their sex life wasn't what it was before the baby arrived. Buck wanted to remedy that. He loved Louise with everything he was. He wanted to make love to her every night for the rest of his life.

Louise laid down on the bed of furs that was theirs. She laid on her back and Buck put his arm around her waist. He pulled her closer to him. Buck leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. Louise closed her eyes at the simple gesture. She loved Buck with her soul. She wanted him. Since the baby had arrived, they made love often but not every day like before. They had only made love twice since the attack.

Buck leaned in and kissed her. Passionately. Louise put her arms around his neck. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him to her. Buck rolled on top of Lou. He kissed her deeply. Lou spread her legs and allowed Buck to settle there. He kissed along her jaw and lowered his kisses down her neck. Lou moaned. She was so excited from anticipation she couldn't stand it. Buck moaned while he pulled her left nipple into his mouth. After he finished with her left breast, he went to the right. Licking and flicking his tongue on her nipple. His left hand traveled down to wet center. He stroked her while sliding his fingers inside. Lou moaned at the sensation. Buck lowered himself. He took his right hand and held her lips open. He licked and sucked while continuing to move his fingers inside her. He pulled his fingers toward him while moving in and out. Lou called out Buck's name as she climaxed.

Buck climbed back up and kissed her already breathless lips. He lined himself up and pushed himself inside her. Buck moaned loudly at the sensation. Lou gasp. He began to thrust himself inside her. Lou matched him thrust for thrust.

"Oh God Buck! BUCK! I love you! I LOVE YOU!" Lou called out as she climaxed again. She threw her arms around Buck and pulled his hair. Buck growled as he thrust harder.

"Lou! You're so beautiful! I love you!" Buck said to her in English as he speed up his motions. He called out in Kiowa as he climaxed, "I LOVE YOU!"

He rolled to his side and pulled her with him. As she rested her head on his chest, she sighed in contentment. This was right. This had been just like old times. Both knew what the others true feelings were on everything. They were forever.

"You are my woman. My wife. My everything. I love you White Fire." Buck said to her in Kiowa. "I love you more tonight than I did the night I married you. I want you. Always."

"You are my man. My husband. My everything. I love you Running Buck." Louise said to him in Kiowa. They fell into a contented sleep. Dreaming of the other. Dreaming of the future.

The next morning found Lou and Buck making love as the sun rose. Buck was slow and tender, letting Lou feel all the love he had for her. Louise climaxed a couple of times before Buck finished himself. They kissed for awhile until a cry interrupted them. Buck pulled away and the couple smiled at each other and laughed. Lou rolled out from under Buck and grabbed the baby's bottle. She poured in the milk and water. She picked the baby up from his cradle and sat down with him. She began to feed him as Buck watched. Buck was in awe. Louise was sitting there feeding the baby and singing softly to him in Kiowa.

Buck got up and got dressed. He left his chest bare. Louise smiled at the sight. Buck went out and found the girls getting breakfast. Teresa brought him and Lou a plate. Buck thanked her and returned to their dwelling. Lou was burping the baby when Buck came back in. They both ate and talked about the day. Buck helped Lou strap the baby into a cradleboard and she headed out to find Dancing Spirit. Buck went in search of Red Bear.

Teresa, Red Flower and Yellow Rabbit finished their chores. They were so excited to go swim and gather wild flowers. They let Lou and Dancing Spirit know they were headed to the creek. The girls didn't even realize they were being followed.

The all stripped down and began to swim. Red Flower and Teresa were not ashamed to be naked in front each other. Their breasts were full and more than average. Yellow Rabbit was embarrassed since her breasts were not as full as Teresa's or Red Flower's. Both girls assured her that she would have them soon. They all swam and played. They lay on the bank in the sun. They were so carefree. Teresa enjoyed telling them all about the ranch and all those that lived there. Red Flower was telling her how there were many young warriors that wanted her for their wife. She did not want any of them though and so her father had not made it known that she could marry. Once he did, they would start to try and win her. Teresa talked about missing Red Hawk. Yellow Rabbit was enjoying what she considered 'adult talk'. Her parents still saw her as a child even though at twelve, she could marry next year.

"A good woman would not be laying around wasting the day." A male voice said. The girls jumped up and looked around while trying to find their dresses. They could not find their dresses anywhere. Just as Yellow Rabbit went to go a little ways down the creek to look for their dresses, Howling Wolf stepped out from the cover of the nearby bushes. The girls gasp as they tried to cover themselves.

"What are you doing here Howling Wolf?" Red Flower demanded. Howling Wolf smiled and licked his lips.

"Whatever I please. I am Kiowa as are you. This is my land as well. The white girl is promised to Red Hawk but he is not here is he? So I will take her for my own. I need a good wife." Howling Wolf said as he quickly stepped in front of Teresa. He grabbed her by the hair on the back of head and held her while he kissed her roughly. Teresa fought against him while Red Flower hit him as well.

Howling Wolf pulled back and still held Teresa by the hair. Teresa was screaming in pain. Howling Wolf struck Red Flower hard across her face and ear causing her to black out. Teresa screamed for Red Flower to wake up. She screamed for help.

"A good woman knows when to be silent."Howling Wolf said as he hit Teresa hard across the face and ear. Teresa was dazed and very disoriented. She thought she saw someone running in front of her at a distance but couldn't be sure. Teresa tried to roll over to try and get up. Howling Wolf pushed her back down and stood over her. "A warrior knows how to take a woman and make her submit unto him."

Meanwhile, Yellow Rabbit saw Howling Wolf strike her sister. She took off and ran towards the village. She knew their only chance was to get her father and uncle. She ran into the village and found Buck talking to a couple of the other warriors from his warrior society. They would be going on a hunt in a few days to prepare for the feast.

"Uncle! UNCLE!" Yellow Rabbit screamed as she ran towards him. Buck turned around in time to catch her in his arms. "He . . . attacked . . . at . . . creek . . ."

"Yellow Rabbit, who? Where is Little Star and your sister?" Buck asked. He suddenly had a sinking feeling.

"The. . .creek . . . HURRY!" Yellow Rabbit said before she crumbled into sobs. Buck saw Soft Petal, Tall Oaks wife, and handed her Yellow Rabbit. He took off running towards the creek. Elk Track ran to get Red Bear. Two other warriors took off after Buck with their weapons drawn.

Back at the creek, Howling Wolf crouched down and kissed Teresa again. She was so dizzy but managed to slap him in the face. He proceeded to hit her repeatedly until she lost consciousness. He then moved her legs apart and settled in the middle. He reached for the ties of his pants when he was grabbed from behind by his hair.

Buck pulled him off Teresa by the hair on his head. He swung around with his left arm and cold clocked Howling Wolf. Howling Wolf crumbled to the ground unconscious. As Buck went to jump on top of him to continue his assault, Red Bear stopped him.

"Running Buck! Little Star needs you." Red Bear said to him. Buck turned around and tried not focus on the fact that his sister and niece were naked. "Let us take them back to the village. We will deal with him later."

Buck agreed and went to pick up Teresa. Red Bear picked up Red Flower. Two of the braves took off their tunic tops and covered the girls. The brothers carried the girls back to the village with two warriors flanking them as guards. Two other warriors drug Howling Wolf back to the village.

Dancing Spirit and Lou were still trying to comfort Yellow Rabbit. They heard a commotion and looked up to see Buck and Red Bear coming back caring something. The women rushed to their men. Lou screamed at the site of Teresa. Dancing Spirit began to sob. The men sat their girls down inside the dwelling the girls were using. The women went in behind them and covered the girls with the furs. They left them naked for the time being.

Red Bear and Buck went to where the warriors had tied up Howling Wolf. They had tied him by the wrists and hands to a canopy. He was dangling with his feet just off the ground. He was still unconscious. Buck was so angry he could barely control himself. The Tdien-Pei-Gah gathered around. Howling Wolf's father, Night Wolf, also met them there. The Tdien-Pei-Gah would not let Night Wolf near his son. Night Wolf was loudly protesting, wanting to know what his son had done to deserve this treatment.

As soon as Red Bear and Buck walked up, Night Wolf silenced. Red Bear looked at him with anger. Buck continued to look at Howling Wolf, deciding on the revenge that would be appropriate for hurting his sister.

"Night Wolf, I have warned you many times of the temper your son has. I spoke to you and him yesterday letting him know his behavior towards my niece was unacceptable." Red Bear began explaining. Night Wolf was getting angry.

"How dare you talk about my son like this. He has passed his warrior trials the same as everyone else. He deserves respect!" Night Wolf said to Red Bear.

"I am the Chief. I will discipline my warriors as I see fit." Red Bear stated firmly. The Tdien-Pei-Gah were growing tired of Night Wolf's attitude towards their Chief. Red Bear had been Chief since most of them were children. He had led them to be prosperous and mostly peaceful. They respected him tremendously.

"Chief. I laugh. Your own brother is only a warrior because of you. He is not a true Kiowa. He takes a white woman for his own. He disrespects our traditions and our way of life." Night Wolf yelled at Buck. Buck wanted to rise to the occasion of his taunting but Red Bear put his hand on his shoulder.

"My brother is a warrior of the Tdien-Pei-Gah. A place that is earned, not given. As you said, he went through the same warrior trials that the rest of us did and passed. He deserves respect. He marries the woman he chooses. Just as you did. You also took a white woman. She died while trying to give you another child. Do you forget so quickly?" Red Bear asked seriously.

"Do not speak of Gray Dove. She was my woman." Night Wolf said. He knew Red Bear was right. He could not judge Buck for marrying a white woman when he had done the same. He was just so angry. "What did my son do to deserve this?"

"He attacked my daughter, Red Flower, and my niece, Running Buck's sister, Little Star, at the creek. He knocked them both into darkness and then tried to take Little Star without being promised to her or marrying her. Little Star has been promised to Red Hawk, son of Standing Elk, for two summers. She was not his to take." Red Bear explained. Night Wolf hung his head. He knew his son was obsessed with finding the perfect wife. Gray Dove had been the only mother he had known. Howling Wolf's mother died when he was just an infant. He wanted a white woman like Gray Dove.

"I am sorry Red Bear. I am sorry Running Buck. My son has disgraced himself and our family. What will be his punishment?" Night Wolf asked. Red Bear looked at Buck.

"Running Buck will decide his punishment as he is her closest male relative." Red Bear explained Buck looked at Red Bear. He wasn't sure he was in the frame of mind to decide anything.

"I will think on this. I must return to my family." Buck said as he turned to go back to the dwellings. Buck was still so angry. He couldn't believe that Teresa had almost been the victim of something so horrible. His mother had endured that. His wife had endured that. No woman deserved to endure that. That's why he never agreed with how slaves and captives were treated. By the time he got to the dwelling, he was crying. He thanked the Spirits for Yellow Rabbit coming to get him in time. He thanked them for sparing Teresa that pain. For sparing Red Flower that pain.

"White Fire. Dancing Spirit. May I enter?" Buck called out to the ladies. They both said yes softly. Both ladies were praying to their Gods. They were wiping the girl's faces with cool creek water. Buck finally got a chance to see the damage that Howling Wolf had inflicted. He began to cry again as he looked at Red Flower. Her left eye swollen almost shut, the bruise had already formed on her cheek. He then looked to Teresa. Her left eye was swollen shut. Her lip was split and had bled. Her nose had been bleeding and was swollen. She had bruises forming all over her face. Louise looked at him looking at Teresa. She loved his love for her siblings. He looked up at her and she reached out to wipe a tear from his cheek. He looked back down at Teresa. He took her hand in his and then reached out for Red Flower's hand.

"I'm so sorry. My beautiful girls. I am so so sorry." Buck spoke to them in Kiowa. He heard a sniffle and looked up. He saw Yellow Rabbit sitting in the corner. He went over and pulled her into his lap. He kissed her hair as she cried quietly. "Yellow Rabbit, thank you for being so brave today. You became a warrior today."

"How?" Yellow Rabbit said through her tears.

"Because you came for help. You didn't try to stop him. You all could have been hurt very badly. Because you came and got me and help, we were able to save them." Buck explained. "That's what a true warrior does. He knows when to get help."

"I'm sorry Uncle. I'm sorry Mother. I'm sorry White Fire." Yellow Rabbit said. She was calming down slowly.

"Yellow Rabbit, Running Buck is right. You saved all of you by coming to get help." Lou said to the young girl. "I am so thankful you were there and didn't try to fight him. I am so proud of you."

"My daughter, White Fire and Uncle are right. Thank you for helping your sister and cousin. You have brought great honor to yourself and our family." Dancing Spirit said to her youngest daughter.

Just then, Red Flower moved her head. She moaned and moved her head again. Dancing Spirit began to talk to her softly. Slowly she opened her eyes. She screamed as she the pain hit her and the thought that Howling Wolf was still there was upon her. Red Bear suddenly appeared in the doorway. Red Flower saw him and began to cry.

"Father. Father! Help me!" Red Flower cried out. Red Bear tried to hide his tears but he could not. Dancing Spirit again began to speak to her daughter softly. Red Bear came in and sat down on the other side of his daughter. He also spoke softly to her. Red Flower calmed.

"Red Flower, What was Howling Wolf doing there with you? What happened?" Red Bear asked softly.

"We were swimming. . . We laid on the bank . . . and talked. . .He. . .He said . . .a good woman . . .would not waste . . . the day. I . . . asked him. . .what he . . . was doing there." Red Flower paused. Dancing Spirit gave her some water. She remembered everything and wanted her father to know they did nothing wrong. "He said. . . whatever . . .he wanted. . . He was . . .on his land. . .just like I was. . .He said. . . he needed. . . a good wife. . .Little Star would . . .make a. . .good wife."

Red Flower closed her eyes and took some deep breaths. She rested for a few minutes. The adults were patiently waiting. Red Bear and Buck figured that the girls had been caught off guard, and not doing anything inappropriate.

"He grabbed . . .Little Star by her hair. He . . . He kissed her. We tried. . . to . . . fight him. Then he. . . he hit me. That's all . . . I remember." Red Flower explained. Red Flower started to cry. Red Bear soothed his daughter. Teresa was still unconscious. "I'm sorry . . ."

"Red Flower, you did nothing wrong. Thank the Spirits Yellow Rabbit found me when she did. Did you ever find your dresses?" Buck asked. Yellow Rabbit shook her head no. Red Flower drifted back to sleep.

In the village proper, there was a commotion. Red Bear and Buck heard and got up to see what was happening. They found the members of the Tdien-Pei-Gah welcoming someone with shouts and chants. The men smiled when they saw who had come home: Red Hawk.

38


End file.
